Originally posted by: atominis
It is true. Honestly most women are so used to abuse that they do not even think it is abuse. I think all women in my family had abusive husbands and in laws but were used to the shit. They would call me sensitive or accuse me of making big deal of things or told me I would suffer in life or no family can work if 'we think over such small things'. I have seen women tolerate abuse from even their own kids and cry, not say a word or get back to routine work after all abuses and thrashings.
Even men never think some behaviour is abuse or wrong and they say, ismein kya hai? Or ask women to adjust or compromise or accept things as it is or blame them for making big deal of everything. My dad usually either denied or justified whatever that he or my grandpa or uncles did. He thinks modern kids and girls are too sensitive or maybe learnt new things from internet or western culture.
I was seeing desi men lose their shit when Aamir made Satyamev Jayate episodes on dowry, female foeticide and domestic violence and child abuse or when movies like Thappad, Mrityudand, Darlings were made. They carpet bombed social media claiming these films and shows make big deal of nothing or spoil family values or so what if man beats wife, why divorce, why take private matter outside or claimed yeh sab chalta hai, women should adjust.
They had also trolled Shefali Shah when her interview went viral on Instagram where she said disrespect was biggest red flag in any relationship. Though she had made a gender neutral statement and not refered to a man or woman, still men trolled her and said she was breaking families or spoiling girls.
Desi men are okay with abuse, disrespect, domestic violence and adultery etc and think sehna padta hai, nibhana padta hai.
They mock women of today for having standards or expectations or not tolerating things quietly or walking out of relationships or being too sensitive and also call kids of today as spoilt.
They hate even moms for drawing boundaries and like women of past who let anyone take them for granted.
When we have men like that who blackmail and guilt trip women or women who tolerate shit to keep peace in house or give up quietly and pass time in own hobbies or drugs or puja paath or kids or resign to fate or learn to gulp sadness, or think they are sacrificing or this is how male nature is and woman cannot do anything, then what can happen?
Also young men grow up seeing mom take shit so they expect wife will do same, any woman should do same.
I know how men blackmail women and tell them to keep home or ghar ki izzat together and not believe in media, extended family or friends or lawyers and ask them to make it work or tell them they cannot survive without them. Or some slander women or attack them if they try to leave or ensure she gets bad press or is bad mouthed everywhere and no one keeps any relation with her. Some men and their families slander even family of girl and ensure no one else remarries the woman or any woman from their family.
They spread rumours saying yeh aurat theek nahi hai, iske family walo ne kuch ni sikhaya, inki ladkiyan dominating hain, ghatiya hain, laalchi hai etc.
I knew a lady who was divorced and her in laws and ex husband and his friends slandered her everywhere and even in laws of her sister slandered her and ensured she never got to remarry. She lives alone now but is a strong woman and focused on her career to get away from negativity and left the city and moved elsewhere to walk away from past baggage.
Divorce is never easy for woman. Often women face social isolation or threats or even honour killings or stigma, shunning after divorce.
Shweta Tiwari is bashed by her ex husbands all the time in public. IDK how she manages it. I hope it will not affect life of her kids in future.
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