Need genuine relationship advise - Page 3

Though from the above we can't judge the person well but still some people are very demanding about time. They often get upset if people around them are not fulfilling their demands. They burn from inside and can manipulate situation to make things happen for them. Usually they love to control others. You need to be careful dealing with such people. Don't give them that much time or give into their demands otherwise they will continue to drain your energy. Set boundaries with them. You need to be firm dealing with them.

Understanding people don't cause unnecessary stress to others.

If the girl & her parents are confused at the initial stage itself, they should just trust their instincts. They haven't disclosed the news, there is no formal announcement. Just ask your friend to thank her lucky stars and escape while she still can. And honestly, the guy sounds psycho. So handle the matter delicately and cut the ties.

I sense red flags right away and if there is such a thing as the right time to get out of the grip of someone that can be controlling, emotionally manipulative / abusive and quite possibly narcissistic (for putting himself and his needs always above her), then the right time to get out of this is NOW.

The right time to get out of this is now, before she is further entangled into ceremonies and later Marriage. The thought of getting married to someone like this, scares me for her! Remember? A Woman's intuition is VERY strong, most of the times. Her intuition is warning her about him. Ask her to trust it. Intuition is your best friend in such situations, as it helps you discern red flags and if the person is a good match or not.

Originally posted by: TheJourney

If the girl & her parents are confused at the initial stage itself, they should just trust their instincts. They haven't disclosed the news, there is no formal announcement. Just ask your friend to thank her lucky stars and escape while she still can. And honestly, the guy sounds psycho. So handle the matter delicately and cut the ties.

Exactly. Handle it delicately, but cut ties.

I agree with everyone who has advised to say no to the marriage. It was exhausting to read.. and I can only imagine how suffocating it must have been for the person going through it. It's a blessing to see so many red flags before the wedding. if he is possessive even before they are formally together, and same goes for his inconsiderate behaviour.. Imagine the state of affairs after the wedding!! These indicators are enough to make a decision. I disagree with Birdie's that there is possibility of getting in discussion with him and to make attempt to make it work. I don't see any signs of redemption in this guy.

My only point is that there is something for your friend to learn from this incident as well. She isn't communicating enough, which is essential in any relationship, if she didn't like something just say it, in fact the instances given are beyond that they are making your friend feel uncomfortable and yet she isn't expressing them to someone she plans to spend the rest of her life with.. if she isn't doing it before marriage it would be difficult post marriage as well, at least before marriage she isn't bounded by anything, if anything goes wrong she just has to move on and doesn't have to go through a vicious cycle of messy divorce and society Kya kahegi.

Everyone already said this but yeah please please please tell your friend to drop this guy. If he's already like this before marriage, I cannot imagine what he'll be like after he becomes her husband 🤔

When he forced her for an answer.. yes or no, your friend should have said no then and there itself.

Now she needs to be careful, if she breaks the alliance, he might bring on guilt trip on her or try to manipulate her to keep the alliance. So she better have her No stance strong and not sway into agreeing.

No. I have been in a relationship like this. It was toxic. Boy wouldn't even let me sleep if i didnt video chat at night. This is just suffocating. She needs her space.

SO. MANY. RED. FLAGS.

Possessiveness. Disrespecting boundaries. Coaxing her to give consent to the alliance when she wasn't ready. Disrespecting her work ethic and work schedule. Gaslighting her by undermining her work.

Reminds me of a friend from college whose boyfriend used to constantly be on the phone with her and would force her to take up his messages even when she was in class. Or he would be jealous accusing her of cheating. And the final thing is when he would turn up to college searching for her.

This asking to respond immediately to phone calls and turning up unannounced at home/workplace/ some social gathering aspects are two giant red flags which should make women or even men wary of choosing the wrong partners. Your friend needs to heed it big time. Better walking away from an almost finalized rishta than going through a toxic marriage and then getting a divorce. Relatives jaaye bhaad mein, they can talk about your broken rishta all they want- no one is going to turn up in your support when things go awry.

I have been through an arranged marriage set-up, and the first thing that my parents and I endeavoured to do is to always trust our instincts. It might seem like a never-ending process, and sometimes it does get too frustrating. But when a prospective partner/ in-laws give shady vibes, it is better to err on the side of caution than repenting later. I would urge your friend to meet someone else down the lane who genuinely respects her/her ambitions and family. And to gauge that, she needs to pay attention to the covert and unsaid things like these which provide a key to his personality. Ask her not to rush things, to take time to know her prospective groom, and it works out. (It did in my case! 😊)

I went through such a relationship and this story has triggered me to another level. Thus believe me: tell the girl to run away as far as possible.

cancel the relation ASAP. if parents raise objections, tell them straight it's me who needs to live with this guy not you.

This type oof guys will never learn the concept of boundaries.