Ranveer Singh strikes again

What makes a woman 'marriage material'? Ranveer Singh's wish to marry 'marriage material' Deepika Padukone brings to the fore a complex societal issue

JAYEETA MAZUMDER
28 NOVEMBER 2016, 3:23 PM


There comes a moment in every Indian girl's life when she is asked with brows furrowed, "Isn't it time you got married?" It doesn't matter whether she's 16, 21, 35 or 42 at that moment. It's a question we hear countless times. There's nothing wrong if you think the answer to that should be a 'yes'. But there's something terribly wrong in the judgement that stems from the question.

The questioner feels you should be married because of several reasons. Consider a few of them:

a) You're drawing glances to your cleavage in public
b) You've started acing your career like a boss
c) You don't need to depend on anyone (specifically, a man) to get by and live your life

Now, consider you've ticked all of the above. Your questioner assumes your end goal in life is to be married. But, haw, you have no marriage material skill. You eat takeaways all the time, you nurse bad hangovers through the weekend, you work late everyday and you swipe right too often. You are hereby branded not-marriage material.

This is exactly how I felt when Ranveer Singh labelled Deepika Padukone 'marriage material' on Koffee With Karan. Now, it's all fun and games and blah and blah, but there's something inherently problematic with that phrase. It got me thinking " what is marriage material? Google will give you 21,60,000 results on this.

Ranveer probably read up some of that cloud-ed articles too. What exactly makes Deepika marriage material to him? What defines a woman as marriage material? The fact that she's homely, that she's successful, that she can juggle home and work with equal ease? Perhaps the assumption is that it should be a mix of all. It's the same thought process that made Ranveer call dibs on Deepika. She's gorgeous, she's smart, she's successful. Ideal biwi " let's marry her. That simple, huh?

Wish it was. The trouble is with the phrase. No one particular personality trait should make one a marriage material. My late nights, my short dresses, my love for cooking, my male friends, my independence, my vocational skills don't make me worthy or unworthy of marriage. I'm not marriage material because I like prioritising my home over everything else. I'm not marriage material because I will bring to the table a salary that could beat yours.

One needs to ban 'marriage material' from urban vocabulary. My success at work or home isn't meant to earn marriage proposals. Maybe I bake because I love delicious desserts, not because it will be my sole weapon to win a man over. Maybe I slog my ass off at work because I'm ambitious, not because I want to snag a loaded husband. It'd be nice to see me as who I am, not as someone's potential wife or daughter-in-law.

Self-proclaimed 'best boyfriend in the world' Ranveer (and people in general) needs to understand this right. I'm certain Deepika would've winced at that categorisation. Every girl would. I'd like to think of myself as myself, not as marriage material, thank you very much. No matter how much of a diehard romantic you might be.


http://t2online.com/the-spin/ranveer-singh-what-do-you-mean-deepika-padukone-is-marriage-material-koffee-with-karan-show

Tauba hai... People these days think too much... Marriage material for everyone can be different.. har cheez ko feminism ya society issues ki taraf kheechna hota hai in writers ko

One more 😆

One for the Cavemen: Ranveer Calls Deepika Marriage Material'

Gee thanks, Ranveer Singh. That's the second time in as many weeks now that you've broken my heart.
I was happily exulting in the fact that you were a fellow feminist because, let's face it, that number in an extraordinarily sexist movie industry is absymally low.
But then, here's what you go and do. First, you star in this asinine advertisement for clothing brand Jack and Jones, where you appear to be, er, lugging home a woman slung over your shoulder (this, while you wink conspiratorially at any flea-picking Neanderthals who will get this) in what can only be described as the most sexist thing in print since the coverage of Deepika Padukone's cleavage.

What Makes YOU Marriage Material'?
It's not your fault, Ranveer Singh. It's just symptomatic of how normalised sexism is. We think we can get away with calling a woman we're dating or very seriously interested in, "homely" or "sit-at-the-pyre-worthy marriage material"; we think it's the highest compliment to juxtapose calling her "worldly wise, smart, in every way a Monica Bellucci lookalike..." with "...but also? Sooo homely".
What, pray, is marriage material'? And who, on earth, is a homely' girl?

To all the Ranveer Singhs and the misinformed men (and women) of the world: This is not a compliment. Women do not need to be the be-all and end-all of a male checklist for you to be able to marry her. She doesn't need to balance' the home and the office (If I had a 100 rupee note - because, God knows, they're the holy grail - for every House and Gardening article that told you so). She doesn't need to equipoise the biological clock (always ticking, they'll whisper) and the causal sex; the bahu and the honcho.
You know what else she doesn't need to balance, or care two hoots for? Your deep-seated distaste for every individualistic thing she does that takes her away from the safe, homely' abyss she's supposed to land on.

Also? Here's the deal, brother. When you slot a trio of women together (in this case, Deepika, Katrina and Anushka) and put one on an artificial pedestal and deem her marriage material' - thus, differentiating her from the rest of her gender - you're not doing her a favour.
It's like saying, "She's not like other girls," which is an extremely disturbing thing to say. You're distancing an individual from all of womankind, drawing her in, patting her coaxingly on the head and telling her she's it, because she squeezes into the stereotype that society has established for her. You can now reward her, by - how? Yes, marrying her.
(While you're in that warped time capsule of yours, could you also stop at the Renaissance fair and pick up a cookie for me?)

So, the next time, Ranveer Singh and the clan of misinformed men and women, who are, no doubt, a populous lot, kindly refrain from imposing your pre-conceived notion of what a woman should be, on a woman, any woman.
We can be like each other, and we can be different from each other. We can want marriage, and we can leave mandap-shaped holes in the wall as we make a run for it, but you know what? That's just our call to make.


https://www.thequint.com/women/2016/11/28/ranveer-singh-deepika-padukone-koffee-with-karan-feminism-sexism-marriage-material-jack-and-jones

Ranveer is becoming the sought after W*F actor in town.

I m sure DP found the episode cringeworthy for multiple reasons..but this isn't one of those. When people start nitpicking ur each word samajh lo u have arrived n how!!!

Honestly I dont think its as offensive as it made out to be.🤪.Its quite colloquial. Even we girls use it for boys.."Husband Material"? Haven't the author heard of it? "Attention Seeker"

He's arrived... arriving... will arrive
depends on the BO status of his films.. I guess.. warna itna slow hai kya..kuch saalo bas arrive hi ho raha hai
That marriage material thing did sound.. idk.. not right.. that's the only way I can describe it... as if girls need some kind of approval to be "marriage material"

Originally posted by: Quietude

One more 😆

One for the Cavemen: Ranveer Calls Deepika Marriage Material'

Gee thanks, Ranveer Singh. That's the second time in as many weeks now that you've broken my heart.
I was happily exulting in the fact that you were a fellow feminist because, let's face it, that number in an extraordinarily sexist movie industry is absymally low.
But then, here's what you go and do. First, you star in this asinine advertisement for clothing brand Jack and Jones, where you appear to be, er, lugging home a woman slung over your shoulder (this, while you wink conspiratorially at any flea-picking Neanderthals who will get this) in what can only be described as the most sexist thing in print since the coverage of Deepika Padukone's cleavage.

What Makes YOU Marriage Material'?
It's not your fault, Ranveer Singh. It's just symptomatic of how normalised sexism is. We think we can get away with calling a woman we're dating or very seriously interested in, "homely" or "sit-at-the-pyre-worthy marriage material"; we think it's the highest compliment to juxtapose calling her "worldly wise, smart, in every way a Monica Bellucci lookalike..." with "...but also? Sooo homely".
What, pray, is marriage material'? And who, on earth, is a homely' girl?

To all the Ranveer Singhs and the misinformed men (and women) of the world: This is not a compliment. Women do not need to be the be-all and end-all of a male checklist for you to be able to marry her. She doesn't need to balance' the home and the office (If I had a 100 rupee note - because, God knows, they're the holy grail - for every House and Gardening article that told you so). She doesn't need to equipoise the biological clock (always ticking, they'll whisper) and the causal sex; the bahu and the honcho.
You know what else she doesn't need to balance, or care two hoots for? Your deep-seated distaste for every individualistic thing she does that takes her away from the safe, homely' abyss she's supposed to land on.

Also? Here's the deal, brother. When you slot a trio of women together (in this case, Deepika, Katrina and Anushka) and put one on an artificial pedestal and deem her marriage material' - thus, differentiating her from the rest of her gender - you're not doing her a favour.
It's like saying, "She's not like other girls," which is an extremely disturbing thing to say. You're distancing an individual from all of womankind, drawing her in, patting her coaxingly on the head and telling her she's it, because she squeezes into the stereotype that society has established for her. You can now reward her, by - how? Yes, marrying her.
(While you're in that warped time capsule of yours, could you also stop at the Renaissance fair and pick up a cookie for me?)

So, the next time, Ranveer Singh and the clan of misinformed men and women, who are, no doubt, a populous lot, kindly refrain from imposing your pre-conceived notion of what a woman should be, on a woman, any woman.
We can be like each other, and we can be different from each other. We can want marriage, and we can leave mandap-shaped holes in the wall as we make a run for it, but you know what? That's just our call to make.


https://www.thequint.com/women/2016/11/28/ranveer-singh-deepika-padukone-koffee-with-karan-feminism-sexism-marriage-material-jack-and-jones

Clickbait ke naam par kuch bhi articles banate hai.log

Itna hangama on 'marriage material'... I m sure DP has no problem in being labelled as 'marriage material' thats a part of her image makeover by her PR.. she would like to make us believe that she is very homely unlike veronica 😆.. thats her statement by the way!!


but I wont see such long essays from males if we call a guy 'husband material' or 'marriage material' or 'boyfriend goals' 😆