Originally posted by: Nova19
I am absolutely shocked by some of the comments and attitudes in this thread. I don't think she was "casual" at all. She went to lengths to say that that experience has had a lasting negative effect on her through her life. She doesn't owe anyone details about her experience (including details of the "someone"); she was very brave to make the statement knowing some people would react negatively.
I wish she had not used the word "allowed" because it means different things to different people. It absolutely does not mean consent. She clearly said she didn't understand what was happening - that alone negates consent. Take the sex out of it and imagine a different scenario. Imagine a 9 year old child being lured somewhere and told, "Lets play a game, it'll be fun. Let me put this guitar string over your head." If that person then quickly pulled that guitar string and cut off the kids head, would it not be murder because the kid "allowed" it to happen? Ridiculous! So is saying it's not abuse if an innocent 9 year old "allowed" something she didn't understand to happen to her.
Finally, I have a third grade daughter who is nine. Some of the other girls are very tall with little breast buds, etc. The statement without any evidence that a 9 year old girl couldn't be penetrated and hide it is silly - you have no idea! But she never said intercouse, she said sex. Is someone penetrating her with fingers "sex", putting something in her mouth or vice versa?
Maybe if for no other reason than this there should be sex education so everyone can know what sexual abuse is. Everyone should know the parts of his or her body that are private and the same parts of other people are private. Everyone should have fabulous parents who teach them these things - unfortunately not everyone does. What happens to those kids?
This what she said abt the incident...
. "I allowed someone to have sex with me at the age of nine, not understanding fully what it meant and my biggest fear after was that my mother would find out. I felt it was my mistake and so I kept it hidden for years. "
Everything else is what we all agree on.. nothing to disagree upon. Child abuse be it sexual- vilolent, verbal, labour... its just NOT acceptable and not just the culprits but parents, schools, society r all responsible... to varying degrees.. Something serious gotta be done abt it.
My point is getting crushed in the wave of emotions here. What if I make the same point in DP's video #my choice? Of course a 9 years old doesnt know what's that choice is all abt. Thats why its not always abt my choice.
the BIG if is.. who did she do it with? (not the guy's name)
Coz tell u, as a father if i even find after years that my child was sexually abused by some adult that i know or dont know... my blood will boil and i will find that mother f**ker and punish him.
Serious statements should not be so casual. She is not 9 years old atm, Let ppl at least know was it a child "sex sex" game or something very serious. Abt not telling the parents or feeling truamatised, there r so many reasons kids feel that way abt "sex".. I never told my parents that i started masturbating since i was 16. I never told them the next door auntie's cleavage show make me run to bathroom... and I always felt guilty abt it until I went to hostel for my Engineering... that all the boys opened up abt their experiences and it was 🤣 as well as 🤓🤔 thought provoking. My guilt feelings were gone... coz I understood what was goin on was just natural.. its just that I didnt have gf.
Western world is much more open abt it.. its has its pros and cons but at least its out in open. We need that in India too. Aamir's SMJ episode on this issue was disturbing as well an eye opener. He also did a workshop, to let kids know abt their private parts, and the danger signs. Do watch it.
I am a father and uncle of 4 other kids.. do not judge my intentions here. Try to get my point, if u cant get it... my loss.
Edited by AllBlacks1 - 10 years ago
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