They don't understand the context: Homi Adajania to 'My Choice' critic - Page 5

...maybe they have a different viewpoint...it's a democracy and this is our view and they are entitled to theirs."

Infidelity part is where I stopped agreeing with the video. It's ones choice alright but I don't endorse it

Originally posted by: hollyBollyWood

i'm not sure why everyone is so against this video. this is the context that comes to my mind - where the majority of our society/culture has a tendency to justify rape of a woman or even blame her because she dressed a certain way or if she had (consensual) sex - premarital or otherwise, if she chose to go out late at night. in the end, these are my choices, but none of my choice gives you the right to my body or makes it permissible to violate me without my consent.

And he failed to convey this simple message.

I'm a little confused.

Originally posted by: NailClipper

And he failed to convey this simple message.

+1000

What NC said!!!!


@Desaigal90, I took it as sex with someone other than husband because there is another specific line about sex before marriage.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

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You are not the only one. Go through some of the FB posts on the ScoopWhoop and other articles.

There are quite a few people who interpreted it as women have the right to be in open or polyamorous relationships.

Quite a few others interpreted it as giving women the freedom to make mistakes. Adultery/Cheating should be a matter between the two people committed, not for society to judge.

Majority though interpreted it as giving women license to cheat.

More food for thought - what is cheating though?

If you no longer love your significant other but still say "I love you". Is that cheating?
If you have fallen in love with someone else, but don't act on it. Is that cheating?
Your relationship is only physical. You have emotionally checked out. Is that cheating?
You are deeply emotionally attached and invested in someone, but seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Is that cheating?
Is cyber sex or phone sex cheating?
Is masturbating to po*nography cheating?
Is imagining someone else during sex cheating?

Not having sex with others doesn't indicate faithfulness. Having sex with others doesn't indicate infidelity. It is tricky. It varies. When you are in a relationship and in those situations it becomes touch and go, extremely relative.

That is why I initially viewed it as an endorsement of cheating, but later interpreted it as "hey society, don't define boundaries for me, let me learn on my own"

Originally posted by: KaanKeNiche

Open marriages are consensual by mutual parties, this video shows a woman claiming that it's HER 'choice' to have sex outside of marriage; thereby committing adultery. There is no acknowledgment by her of her partner.

And I'm not particularly sure why glorifying open marriages would empower women (if that's the context Homi is alluding to).

Originally posted by: IAmLuvBolly

See that's the thing, I don't think they were thinking cheating at all. I think they were so caught up in their mantra of girl power that they didn't think things through. That in of itself makes them at the least lazy filmmakers and at worst just bad filmmakers. It had to have taken them several hours if not days to shoot and put this thing together. Did it not click with any of them what that line was really saying or implying?

And other than turning his nose up at his critics Homi didn't explain his point of view further. This leads me to believe that they just wanted to say "sexual power and choice" and used damaging words and phrases.

The thread title is very misleading which is giving chance to bang Homi. Clearly he said its democracy and anyone is entitled to his opinion. Some people loves to bang even without reading the whole story :)
Anyway coming to the video message, there are many things in the video which is bang on for me except the sex outside marriage part. I interpreted as cheating. Obviously that's not empowerment. But probably this can represent many women who tolerate when her husband doesn't have any conjugal relation with her, doesn't divorce her, force her to stay in a murky loveless marriage whereas he continues his sex life outside of marriage..but that's probably is another context.
Apart from that I'm failing to understand what's soo controversial in the video? Bearing a child should be women's decision however should be clarified before marraige itself. But its a short video not documentary to clary every points.you may not like the execution/one of meesage/Homi/DP/one or more of the 99 women in the video but the message which is coming of out of the video is not incorrect. About its being inferior to the Madhuri's short film etc, that's again personal choice. Even I liked Madhuri's one a lot but that's probably was not well publisized not even in this forum. But that doesn't mean this is trash and need this much of unnecessary controversy.

Originally posted by: hermione82

Anyway coming to the video message, there are many things in the video which is bang on for me except the sex outside marriage part.

@AllBlacks1

I do not believe everyone should have kids. If someone is not sure or has even 1% feeling of not wanting a child then please never have one. Many are fatalistic and think everything will be alright by itself, everything will be managed etc. But this is not so. Often even the parents who think they are well meaning, fail to raise kids properly or deal with problems that children face. Raising children is not everyone's cup of tea. The child relies completely on the parent or caregiver till his mind is fully developed. Merely feeding or providing for the child are not parenting. If a parent is uninvolved, confused, not far sighted and makes wrong decisions then child suffers. Therefore I don't advocate everyone must have kids. It's a matter of another human's life, not to be taken lightly or taken chances with.

So I am okay if anyone opts to not have kids, whether it's s father or mother.

And if someone is this #MyChoice type then please surely spare the child from the instability that your personal choices create, and never have kids at all.