Elli vs Naag Man! So who was wrong? - Page 14

Originally posted by: -Purva-

The difference between our POVs is that you think that this should be taken as a joke and are thereby TRIVIALIZING it. I think this verbal violence and credible threat of sexual violence and you think that is OTT.


My point is that when a Girl says:

I don't like the way you are looking at me or talking to me

Stop doing this, because you are making me feel uncomfortable

Stop talking to me like this else I'll slap you

Where does the impression come in that this was a normal conversation between friends and that they were joking? Where does it transpire that the woman was NOT emphatic enough.

This is a gender issue - men do NOT hearwhen a girl says No. They object to being told that they are crossing a line. They think that a girl should always be open to be objectified and be sexually assessed and ogled and can't take it when she says NO.

And the message here is that this is indeed unacceptable and definitely not OTT. Sooner the men realize it the better it would be for society. And please don't give the argument that it is "just" a show. Fact is that while the women are outraged by the incident, the men are also out in equal numbers defending their right to "crack such jokes".

I'm making things gender biased because there's no other way I can conceive how any person could take that conversation as a joke. These were lines actually used by the girl in the course of the conversation and yet ONLY some of the men in this forum are not alive to the fact that this is not a laughing matter. Have you seen even a single defending the act - have you seen anyone tell you that this was taken as a joke? Nopes, YOU want to color it as per your choice.

Again let me reiterate when a girl says I'll slap you, that means things have already gone beyond a joke - it doesn't matter what her tone is, what her body-language is, what she is wearing, where she is standing. If she says I'll slap you if you continue in this manner - all a man can do is a withdraw and apologise to her for hurting her or making her feel uncomfortable. THEN if she did not mean it seriously she'll tell you. DO NOT PRESUME.

Not really rocket science is it? Hear the words first is all that is required.

Added:
Believe me what I'm saying is INDEED the universal thumb rule.

Originally posted by: -Purva-

I'm making things gender biased because there's no other way I can conceive how any person could take that conversation as a joke. These were lines actually used by the girl in the course of the conversation and yet ONLY some of the men in this forum are not alive to the fact that this is not a laughing matter. Have you seen even a single defending the act - have you seen anyone tell you that this was taken as a joke? Nopes, YOU want to color it as per your choice.

Again let me reiterate when a girl says I'll slap you, that means things have already gone beyond a joke - it doesn't matter what her tone is, what her body-language is, what she is wearing, where she is standing. If she says I'll slap you if you continue in this manner - all a man can do is a withdraw and apologise to her for hurting her or making her feel uncomfortable. THEN if she did not mean it seriously she'll tell you. DO NOT PRESUME.

Not really rocket science is it? Hear the words first is all that is required.

Added:
Believe me what I'm saying is INDEED the universal thumb rule.

👏👏👏 Bang on post awesomely replied

@-Cruiser- Me too disagree with you dear. I too felt Elli reaction was appropriate n happy to see she stood for respect.

First to those who are generalizing and calling out names to men, then all men are not the same as all women are not. If you look in general the first defendant in most of the sexual violence either verbal or physical is a female. People are saying Sangram is sissy because he did on call out Armaan on his face true but see how many women are supporting Armaan in the house at least he is better than those. It is the same syndrome we see outside when people say "Ladki ne uskaya hoga" or " Uski harkaten hi aisi thi". I for one do not say or support the statement even like "Be a man enough" or "Acting like a woman" as these statement itself is degrading the whole woman kind. It is strange how Pratyusha not only supported Armaan in his act but also put down Elli. Also see how both Pratyusha and Kamya is putting the whole blame on Elli.

Originally posted by: -Purva-

I'm making things gender biased because there's no other way I can conceive how any person could take that conversation as a joke. These were lines actually used by the girl in the course of the conversation and yet ONLY some of the men in this forum are not alive to the fact that this is not a laughing matter. Have you seen even a single defending the act - have you seen anyone tell you that this was taken as a joke? Nopes, YOU want to color it as per your choice.

Gender has nothing to do with understanding, if the environment is of joke or serious in nature. The topic may be gender biased, not the environment.

Again let me reiterate when a girl says I'll slap you, that means things have already gone beyond a joke - it doesn't matter what her tone is, what her body-language is, what she is wearing, where she is standing. If she says I'll slap you if you continue in this manner - all a man can do is a withdraw and apologise to her for hurting her or making her feel uncomfortable. THEN if she did not mean it seriously she'll tell you. DO NOT PRESUME.

So you accept that there are other meanings. Great.

Now your desire is that everyone will come to you if you want to slap and then apologize and then you will clarify if it was serious or joke. Madam that you can impose on your husband and boy friend. For other men, you have to say a No the way it means No.😊 Well, that will be dependent on your relation with people you say that. So don't make another rule. It doesn't work that way.

This "don't presume the behavior of opposite sex" should come from people who passed the age of romanticism... #Femen

Not really rocket science is it? Hear the words first is all that is required.

Learning to say No in a way that means No is no rocket science either. Why make other people responsible for your failure to say what you mean??

Added:
Believe me what I'm saying is INDEED the universal thumb rule.

Even by your post it's not a universal Thumb Rule since it has different meanings, even if you defy the rules of communication.

You know, it's easier to learn, how to say a NO, than to teach people apologizing after being threatened to slap...

Originally posted by: -Cruiser-

<font color="#0000FF">@BOLD: haha,,,,,,,hell no!...For God's sake don't think for a moment what I meant there is "Punjabi men are like that'! ...That line was merely for a smile! Had Armaan been a Bihari, Bhojpuri, Bengali, Telugu, Marathi, UPite or from some other part of India, I would have modified it accordingly!😛

Mindsets are same more or less, all over India. Its ridiculous to even consider that hormones rage more in a particular region of India.

Just 2 weeks ago, an Andhra Software Engineer, a grown up man of 48 years, has been arrested in US for groping and fondling a 65 year old American co passenger during a domestic flight in US, has been sentenced to 10 month imprisonment and is going to get deported after 10 months!...🤢

...Haalat kharaab hai Indian males ki...kaheen ka bhi ho...kaheen bhi ho! 😆</font>

lol...I never knew you were joking there...since it's a serious topic I too took it seriously. .now I got to know. @
This is what I wanted to convey as wellbold...yeah pity on my country's state as of now and hope it improves soon..

Okay, I cannot, for the life of me, fathom why is Ellie wrong!!!