What is wrong in getting married to your best friend!

Happy_hippy thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#1
"tumne apne best friend se Shaadi ki,kabhi pati bane hi Nahi " this is one line in Sakshi's debatable harangue that I failed to understand! What on earth does it mean? What's wrong in getting married to a best friend? And what exactly does it mean to become a husband? Is he the means to provide his wife with financial security ,emotional support and physical pleasure? Is that it? If yes then Aditya has done all of the above for Pooja (I am not sure about physical pleasure).He blindly gave her a check of 5 crore. he treated her mom like his own, I mean who allows their mother in law to stay in their own house and love her more than his own mother ? If that is not giving emotional support to one's spouse then what is it? It is giving his wife assurance that I am here for you and your family! And seriously what responsibility did both have with a huge house and truckload of servants ? For me every relation starts with friendship .my husband became my best friend after marriage and it has been like that ever since ! If I go wrong ,or behave immaturely he sits me down and tells me the truth, tells me to act responsibly! I am still clueless what did Pooja want from Aditya? Once she mentioned to Yash she wanted romance, Sakshi mentioned he didn't behave like a husband and didn't take responsibility? Writers can you care to explain? ?
Aditya is extremely flawed, I get that. Initially I never liked his character sketch with him torturing Zoya.His equation with his mom kind of annoyed me a lot . OK fine your mom accepted your dad without questions but then why didn't you talk to her when you became an adult. Imagine the pain that woman was going through .She couldn't have walked out with two young children in tow ! Plus you hated your dad n yet gave his 5 crore to your wife. If you hated him so much why did you use any of his money? I never really got all this. He is impulsive, immature but he also has a heart of gold. He is fiercely loyal and caring towards the people he loves .. So yeah if he has to improve its the aforementioned flaws. .and he has improved so much ,I mean the jungle track was the best! So yeah Pooja only if you had the patience or inclination to understand your best friend you wouldn't have lost your dignity, love or your child!! .but hey, she didn't need all these Any which ways, yeah ,right?
Edited by Happy_hippy - 7 years ago

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enlightenme thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#2
Aditya is through and through a product of problem family.With the kind of family he lived in it's very obvious he didn't want to have his own kids. Pooja only sympathised with him, she never felt an ounce of empathy for Aditya hence their relationship had short life. She never fought with him argued with him. What kind of relationship is that you always give in despite you being correct most of the times. Was Aditya, their relationship and their child not worth a fight for Pooja. She never ever tried to make him understand her stance (just the way Zoya does). She said certain lame things like 'Aditya tum kab Bade hoge', ' Jo khud jag jate hai unhe Jagani hi zarurat nahi parti' , was that enough for Aditya to understand, what is needed out of him from this marriage.

Any woman in Pooja's place would fight Aditya to keep the baby. Here, she didn't even find it necessary to inform him about the abortion. A child is a joint decision in fact she had more right on the child than Aditya because she was the biological mother, if she put her foot down in that instance no Aditya could stop her from being a mother, she was legally married for God's sake. Shakshi blamed Aditya for the abortion just because the thought of Pooja being pregnant was an unwelcome to him, but it was her daughter who took that decision of abortion.

About the best friend part I'm not too sure because Aditya though considered Pooja a best friend. But a relationship is a two way street Aditya was nothing more than Pooja's charity project. In my language I would call that she found a good candidate for marriage in Aditya, who would not just take care of her financial needs, but her mother's too, but she was expecting more than she signed up for.Maybe I can blame Aditya for his insensitiveness which caused Pooja to drift apart, but finding happiness outside marriage and ruining somebody else's marriage was through and through her decision.
AuthorSneha thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#3
There is nothing wrong but Adi never took the responsibilities that come with marriage. Even after marriage,he was still stuck in initial honeymoon phase.
He was self obsessed .
Marraige is a commitment. Two sides effort. If A and B love each other and Marry, then both should spend time with each other , understand each other's POV, respect each other's wishes.
I remember the other day, Mom n dad went for Race 3. I guess that was 2 weeks back, mom wanted to watch it but dad was like 🤢. He said he isn't interested .
But He knew mom wanted to watch so he accompanied her .
Many times my Mom also goes out to my dad's fave eating joint though she is Not very fond of d veg food there. But bcz my dad likes it, she goes with him. Then next week my dad takes her to HER fav joint.
So both take turns instead of just going by His Interests and Likes

In life many a times , after marraige , u may not exactly have similar taste in terms of food , hobbies etc But that doesn't mean Sirf Ek ki chalegi and the other wil follow .
Marraige is a two way commitment. Did Adi ever ask Poo what do u like,tumhe kahan jana hai aaj hum vahan chalenge.
I completely agree with Sakshi, Adi ko sirf Adi dikhta tha
Life_Is_Dutiful thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#4
I would say that all 3 of them, Sakshi, Aditya and Pooja made mistakes in the marriage.
Sakshi- She knows about Adi's problems with his parents. At the age of 16, his father broke his marriage and went to another woman. 16 is a very tender age to understand relationships. They are neither childish nor fully matured. Adi doesnt know the duties of a husband because his father failed as a husband. So it was Sakshi's duty to make Adi realize his responsibilities as a husband. Reminding him of his wife's birthday or anniversary is not the only duty. She had to make Adi realize that he needs to think and take care of Pooja emotionally and not materialistically or physically and that's where she failed. Whatever she said yesterday was not wrong but it was too late.

Aditya- He is an intelligent man with sharp mind. He loved Pooja but never tried to understand her. He said she hated kuch kuch hota hai but never tried to understand why she hated her childhood favorite movie. That's because the movie has kinda given a wrong message that Friendship is enough to lead a happy married life if best friends love each other. That's what Adi learnt from the movie and he thought he will use that funda in real life too.

Pooja- I feel bad for her as well as angry with her. Adi never tortured or harmed her but he never gave her that love that she wanted from him. Their friendship was the biggest hurdle in their marriage. He fulfilled her physical and material needs but failed to fulfill her emotional needs. She needed him to understand her feelings and emotions but when he failed to do so, she gave up so soon and so easily. Giving up part was her major fault. If Adi didn't understand her, she should have talked to him, made him understand her problems. She wanted a baby, he didn't want. When she got pregnant, she should have simply said, "I want to keep the baby". Adi would have never refused, instead he would have taken time but would have accepted the baby and the baby would have made their marriage actually work and would have changed both of them. But Abortion was the most cruel decision she ever took. By doing this, she proved herself to be worst than Adi.
Amru4krish thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: -Tulips-

I would say that all 3 of them, Sakshi, Aditya and Pooja made mistakes in the marriage.

Sakshi- She knows about Adi's problems with his parents. At the age of 16, his father broke his marriage and went to another woman. 16 is a very tender age to understand relationships. They are neither childish nor fully matured. Adi doesnt know the duties of a husband because his father failed as a husband. So it was Sakshi's duty to make Adi realize his responsibilities as a husband. Reminding him of his wife's birthday or anniversary is not the only duty. She had to make Adi realize that he needs to think and take care of Pooja emotionally and not materialistically or physically and that's where she failed. Whatever she said yesterday was not wrong but it was too late.

Aditya- He is an intelligent man with sharp mind. He loved Pooja but never tried to understand her. He said she hated kuch kuch hota hai but never tried to understand why she hated her childhood favorite movie. That's because the movie has kinda given a wrong message that Friendship is enough to lead a happy married life if best friends love each other. That's what Adi learnt from the movie and he thought he will use that funda in real life too.

Pooja- I feel bad for her as well as angry with her. Adi never tortured or harmed her but he never gave her that love that she wanted from him. Their friendship was the biggest hurdle in their marriage. He fulfilled her physical and material needs but failed to fulfill her emotional needs. She needed him to understand her feelings and emotions but when he failed to do so, she gave up so soon and so easily. Giving up part was her major fault. If Adi didn't understand her, she should have talked to him, made him understand her problems. She wanted a baby, he didn't want. When she got pregnant, she should have simply said, "I want to keep the baby". Adi would have never refused, instead he would have taken time but would have accepted the baby and the baby would have made their marriage actually work and would have changed both of them. But Abortion was the most cruel decision she ever took. By doing this, she proved herself to be worst than Adi.


Absolutely correct .. Perfect analysis ... All the three of them were the reasons for the failed adija relationship .. No one took any efforts to mend it...
Maryam2 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: -Tulips-

I would say that all 3 of them, Sakshi, Aditya and Pooja made mistakes in the marriage.

Sakshi- She knows about Adi's problems with his parents. At the age of 16, his father broke his marriage and went to another woman. 16 is a very tender age to understand relationships. They are neither childish nor fully matured. Adi doesnt know the duties of a husband because his father failed as a husband. So it was Sakshi's duty to make Adi realize his responsibilities as a husband. Reminding him of his wife's birthday or anniversary is not the only duty. She had to make Adi realize that he needs to think and take care of Pooja emotionally and not materialistically or physically and that's where she failed. Whatever she said yesterday was not wrong but it was too late.

Aditya- He is an intelligent man with sharp mind. He loved Pooja but never tried to understand her. He said she hated kuch kuch hota hai but never tried to understand why she hated her childhood favorite movie. That's because the movie has kinda given a wrong message that Friendship is enough to lead a happy married life if best friends love each other. That's what Adi learnt from the movie and he thought he will use that funda in real life too.

Pooja- I feel bad for her as well as angry with her. Adi never tortured or harmed her but he never gave her that love that she wanted from him. Their friendship was the biggest hurdle in their marriage. He fulfilled her physical and material needs but failed to fulfill her emotional needs. She needed him to understand her feelings and emotions but when he failed to do so, she gave up so soon and so easily. Giving up part was her major fault. If Adi didn't understand her, she should have talked to him, made him understand her problems. She wanted a baby, he didn't want. When she got pregnant, she should have simply said, "I want to keep the baby". Adi would have never refused, instead he would have taken time but would have accepted the baby and the baby would have made their marriage actually work and would have changed both of them. But Abortion was the most cruel decision she ever took. By doing this, she proved herself to be worst than Adi.


well said👏
geet0910 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#7
Any relationship is based on give n take. From yesterdays epi wat i understud is that pooja was the only giver in that relationship. She always kept giving since childhood. Like gave him her tiffin, did his homework, let him cheat in exams, chose to go to the same college as of adis. In short by doing all this, caring n babying n pampering him she spoiled him herself. N she felt maybe gr8 n happy to always keep giving happiness to adi. I think she never expected anything in return n never voiced it out loud that he should also give her the same love n attention that she keeps giving him. She married him again to give him happiness. Thats where she went wrong. Wen u always keep giving n dont get the same thing back in return, u feel tired. Adi took her for granted becos she made him like that by always giving n never asking to return back the love n care. N adi himself didnt understnd it becos he didnt have any perfect example of family in front of him. He was kind of broken to understnd the value n importance n responsibility of marriage. If he gave her material things n love that doesnt equals emotional attachment which pooja needed frm him. He never sat with her n had a matured communication ever it seems cos he ws childish. N like u said ur husband sits with u n make u understnd the prblms, i dont think adi was that matured to do that cos he relied on pooja n expected her to handle him n not vice versa. N hence their frndly marriage failed. Thats my pov.
mans1234 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#8
I feel spouses sometimes look for a friend in their marriage and crave of one if they dont have as with your friends u can talk completely freely ..
Since Pooja and Aditya knew each other from childhood so there were no secrets ., there are no surprises when it came to each others personality ...so AdiJa knew each other well .. but pooja started being more a care taker than a friend and aditya became were dependent in the process ..

i m not even disputing on the fact that Aditya failed somewhere .. he failed to understand somewhere .. he was like a childlike , his ignorance & carelessness was all visible but Pooja chose to see only the child in him , no other quality was seen by her ..

when u set a mind u stick to it .. For Pooja her mind was set that this is how Aditya is , which is he is a child but did she beyond anything that .. for me A Big No ..he has encouraged her to be independent to go for painting as career , giving a 5cr cheque , allowing Sakshi to live with them and basically giving all the freedom to Pooja to live the way she wants .. i feel only an emotionally secure person can do that , which Aditya was .. the trust and loyalty in her was commendable ..

Pooja on the other has been only hiding her feelings from him .. so how vl he get whats going on with her .. she never communicated .. what she actually felt was never verbally spoken to him rather all her complaints were in the dairy .. so then how can anyone get to know anything .. i m not giving excuse for aditya , but the fact is without communication u cant assume so much about the person ..

Pooja kept searching something else in Aditya and she when she did not get that she went for EMA rather than working on her marriage .. she is the one who sabotaged the marriage ..

For me yesterday the approach by Sakshi was to the core wrong ..
Slapping him , blaming him , accusing him for abortion was too low .. accusing him for abortion is really serious and heart breaking .. how ever the flawed the man may be , he deserved to know about his kid .. Pooja could have shouted , screamed and if required to get him in to senses even leave him but aborting it and then sakshi blaming on him is something which erks me ..

i feel sakshi was justifying EMA .. she kept blaming aditya for evrything & justified the acts of Pooja and then said i m not justifying EMA .. but no if she would have told some positive things about aditya and where pooja failed then may be i would given a benefit of doubt and think she is not justifying her daughters EMA .. yesterday indirectly and somewhere she did ..

Sakshi as a person i dont like.. she vented it out .. if some interference during the marriage by her explaining him where he is failing rest assured he would have gone out of is way to work on it .. the thing is aditya only trusted Pooja and Sakshi the most and when the mother -daughter duo pretended to be happy without uttering a word aditya assumed all is well ..

yes he made a mistake but Pooja and Sakshi , sakshi being worst crossed it ..

A spouse deserves a chance in the failed marriage , Aditya dint get one !! why - coz things werent communicated to him ...

All 3 were wrong but the way yesterday tables completely turned on Aditya was not acceptable ..

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