*October Fest - Contest 1 HQ, Read Pg 6/8 - Page 4

ok guys...i knw this isnt original...but i think its ok to be inspired by a song right? and i thought maybe we could try this...it might sound bad...i dunno..just an attempt...im not really a poet in any way...but still tried this...cause all i had to do was add a few words.... 😆

anyways....ignore this if u want k...

kasam ki kasam hai kasam se...
humko pyaar hai sirf Saagar-Vidya se...
ab yeh pyaar na hoga phir humse...

log kehte hain pagal hai hum bmtd ke liye...
saagar ko dil diya hai ab kisi ki na mane
forum join karke humne...dil ka haal bayan kiya hai
neende udayi humne..kal ke intezar mein...
kasam ki kasam hai kasam se
humko pyar hai sirf SV se

kuch posts mein humne sabse jo yeh kaha hai
kal kya hoga jaane...humne na yeh jaana hai
sindoora ko dekhte hain...kya gussa dikhate hain
tufan jo uth ta hai..hum usko rokte hain
kasam ki kasam hai kasam se

i knwww...this was soo lame...but now i can prolly think in tht direction...so ill try later...

wow, great poems so far guys!😃
here are sum random lines i just thought of. Not good 😆...but posting it anyway 😊 if u guys like any, u can add them to the poem 😊

Friends from all over- near and far,
A big, happy family is what we all are 😳
At 7:30 we make sure we are all free,
Dulhan is what we anxiously wait to see 😆
SV scenes are what we live for,
Sharad and Divya are who we adore 😳
We are the Dulhan Parivaar,
Never-ending friendships and loads of pyaar 😳
Masti and hungama,
suspense and drama.
something, something, something 😕 😆 lol. thats all i can think of 😆...brain is all mushy now 😆 good luck with the poem everyone 🤗

ok guyss...so i officially suck at this....but still thought maybe i should try to help...i came up with something else...if u want u guys can use something frm here...its pretty lame...but here... 😊

subah se raat hui
lekin neendiya hai gayab hui
kiska hai yeh kusoor
hum sab jaane eh huzur
saagar ki shararat
vidya ki muskarahat

dil mein hai kitne armaan
bmtd mein basi hai humari jaan
sindoora ko nikal bahar karne
kitne posts ke bhare humne panne
gaano se dil behlaya
fanfics se sab ko hasaya
phir bhi subah se raat hui
lekin neendiya hai gayab hui

jaane kal kya layega
kya yeh humara dil intezar kar payega?
yehi sochke hum sab
saath mein haste hain...rote hain
sameer-bharat chinu-shalu yeh sab humein hasate hain
phir bhi saagar-vidya ke intezar mein hum sab
nazre bichate hain

buaji hai bmtd ki shaan
aur saagar....hum sab ki jaan
vidya ki hasi se hum hase
au unki prem kahani mein hum phase

hum sab hain is parivar ki shaan
humse hai yeh bmtd forum mein jaan
sab hai sache dost
and we luv each other the most
hum ne hain aaj kiya
dil ka yeh haal bayan
subah se raat hui
phir bhi neendiyan hai gayab hui

Shaili
😳

^ WOW... Shaili, you need to show your talent more yaar, you're such a fab writer!! 👏 👏

Ajita, how cute yaar, that's really good as well.. i'm trying to see what we can combine here and put together. Will update! 😊

Alright friends, this is what people have written so far and it's combined (most of it) - it's quite lengthy; here are the two things we need to do and I think it'll be ready soon for submission!😃 Great job, everyone 🤗👏

- Shorten the song, if possible - although it's fine if it's long
- Make the song more song-like - for example, Shaili's repeating "neendiyaan hain gayab hui".. pick any song tune you like that will go witht his song or make up your own - but it needs to have some kind of format - it's a theme song!

Magical chemistry, undescribable & undefined
The intensity of Saagar & Vidya rules our mind...
Kasam ki kasam hai kasam se...
Humko pyaar hai sirf Saagar-Vidya se...
Ab yeh pyaar na hoga phir humse...
Har din hum sirf unkeliye intezaar karte hain
Yeh intezaar kaise pal pal bitaayenge?

Iss Dulhann parivaar mein hum log baat karte hain
Kya hoga kal kya jaane
Akal hoga kahan par, thikane?

Subah se raat hui
Lekin neendiya hai gayab hui
Kiska hai yeh kusoor
Hum sab jaane eh huzur
Saagar ki shararat
Vidya ki muskarahat

Buaji hai BMTD ki shaan
Aur Saagar....hum sab ki jaan
Vidya ki hasi se hum hase
Aur unki prem kahani mein hum phase

Jaane kal kya layega
Kya yeh humara dil intezar kar payega?
Yehi sochke hum sab
Saath mein haste hain...rote hain
Sameer-bharat chinu-shalu yeh sab humein hasate hain
Phir bhi saagar-vidya ke intezar mein hum sab
Nazre bichate hain

Hum sab hain is parivar ki shaan
Humse hai yeh bmtd forum mein jaan
Sab hai sache dost
And we love each other the most
We are the Dulhan Parivaar,
Never-ending friendships and loads of pyaar
Masti and hungama,
Suspense and drama.
Hum ne hain aaj kiya
Dil ka yeh haal bayan
Subah se raat hui
Phir bhi neendiyan hai gayab hui

hey ammmu girly ... t looks marvelous!
very excitedo hear the results... xcept... we should avoid using "ki shaan" too much 😳

Jaane kal kya layega
Kya yeh humara dil intezar kar payega?
Yehi sochke hum sab
Saath mein haste hain...rote hain
Sameer-bharat chinu-shalu yeh sab humein hasate hain
Phir bhi saagar-vidya ke intezar mein hum sab
Nazre bichate hain

the above paragraph needs a bit of editing

i can do it later ..if you want... i got homework 😳

Originally posted by: armulover

ok guyss...so i officially suck at this....but still thought maybe i should try to help...i came up with something else...if u want u guys can use something frm here...its pretty lame...but here... 😊

subah se raat hui
lekin neendiya hai gayab hui
kiska hai yeh kusoor
hum sab jaane eh huzur
saagar ki shararat
vidya ki muskarahat

dil mein hai kitne armaan
bmtd mein basi hai humari jaan
sindoora ko nikal bahar karne
kitne posts ke bhare humne panne
gaano se dil behlaya
fanfics se sab ko hasaya
phir bhi subah se raat hui
lekin neendiya hai gayab hui

jaane kal kya layega
kya yeh humara dil intezar kar payega?
yehi sochke hum sab
saath mein haste hain...rote hain
sameer-bharat chinu-shalu yeh sab humein hasate hain
phir bhi saagar-vidya ke intezar mein hum sab
nazre bichate hain

buaji hai bmtd ki shaan
aur saagar....hum sab ki jaan
vidya ki hasi se hum hase
au unki prem kahani mein hum phase

hum sab hain is parivar ki shaan
humse hai yeh bmtd forum mein jaan
sab hai sache dost
and we luv each other the most
hum ne hain aaj kiya
dil ka yeh haal bayan
subah se raat hui
phir bhi neendiyan hai gayab hui

Shaili
😳

thats really reallly goood...

i just loved reading it 😳

Originally posted by: ritzy2ritz

hey ammmu girly ... t looks marvelous!
very excitedo hear the results... xcept... we should avoid using "ki shaan" too much 😳

Jaane kal kya layega
Kya yeh humara dil intezar kar payega?
Yehi sochke hum sab
Saath mein haste hain...rote hain
Sameer-bharat chinu-shalu yeh sab humein hasate hain
Phir bhi saagar-vidya ke intezar mein hum sab
Nazre bichate hain

the above paragraph needs a bit of editing

i can do it later ..if you want... i got homework 😳

yea thts tru ritu..if u can come up with another word instead of "shaan" pls fix it..by all means...and this above para too...go head and fix it yaar....we need to winnnnnnnn this...😳

Shaili

ok guys...if we dont wanna use "shaan" too many times...here's wht we could change...

originally we had..

buaji hai bmtd ki shaan
aur saagar....hum sab ki jaan

but we could change it to....

buaji hai vidya ka sahara
aur saagar...hum sab ka dulara...

dont even knw if this makes any sense...ritu if u can come up with something better go ahead pls...
😊

Shaili

alrightyyy guys....once again ive made some changes to our lil song...see if u all like it...and everyone pls try to fix it...this is just an attempt...we dont even have to use this...but a try

so as ammu wanted a theme....i tried to add a line at the end of every para to add some flow...may not even sound good...thn pls scratch it and we can do something else...😊 oh and the stuff in red is the stuff ive tried to fix...ex.tht para tht ritu was talkin about...my second version to tht para...but ritu...still try to fix it k..and the line with the buaji part...i tried to remove the word shaan...cause we're usng it too much....😳 so lets see wht this leads to...

Magical chemistry, undescribable & undefined
The intensity of Saagar & Vidya rules our mind...
Kasam ki kasam hai kasam se...
Humko pyaar hai sirf Saagar-Vidya se...
Ab yeh pyaar na hoga phir humse...
Har din hum sirf unkeliye intezaar karte hain
Yeh intezaar kaise pal pal bitaayenge?
bas aisi hai yeh choti si kahani..

Iss Dulhann parivaar mein hum log baat karte hain
Kya hoga kal kya jaane
Akal hoga kahan par, thikane?

Subah se raat hui
Lekin neendiya hai gayab hui
Kiska hai yeh kusoor
Hum sab jaane eh huzur
Saagar ki shararat
Vidya ki muskarahat
bas aisi hai yeh choti si kahani

Buaji hai vidya a sahara
Aur Saagar....hum sab ka dulara
Vidya ki hasi se hum hase
Aur unki prem kahani mein hum phase
bas aisi hai yeh choti si kahani

Jaane kal kya layega
Kya dil yeh humara intezar kar payega?
Yehi sochke hum sab
Saath mein haste - rote hain
chinu-shalu humein hasayein
phir bhi romance ke liye hum nazre bichayein
bas aisi hai yeh choti si kahani


Hum sab hain is parivar ki shaan
Humse hai yeh bmtd forum mein jaan
Sab hai sache dost
And we love each other the most
We are the Dulhan Parivaar,
Never-ending friendships and loads of pyaar
Masti and hungama,
Suspense and drama.
Hum ne hain aaj kiya
Dil ka yeh haal bayan
Subah se raat hui
Phir bhi neendiyan hai gayab hui
bas aisi thi yeh choti si kahani

gluckkkkk everyone...😊

Shaili