Of myths that mystify

Of Myths that Mystify (credits to Devdutt Pattanaik for the title; I pilfered it from his Economic Times article)

What is the true meaning of unconditional love? Is the existence of this condition a myth?

Does it mean "Bhala hai bura hai, jaisa bhi hai, woh mera pati hai mera devta hai"? Roughly translated as "just listen and accept while permanently shutting out your own conscience, upbringing and value systems".

While keeping in mind that Santu lives in a rural environment, is unlettered, with an upbringing steeped in tradition, superstition and total obedience, why is it that all of us want her to behave like any one of us would in the circumstances? Some of us may have shouted right back at the spouse (even louder with belan in hand?)

We have all unanimously and vociferously cajoled and pleaded with Santu to turn her back on DM and the marriage. Yet would any of us do the same if we were in Santu's predicament? Would we not contemplate, conspire and convince our spouses when there is a serious misunderstanding and we think we were right in what we did? Here I am given to understand that Santu sincerely believes that it was the right thing to do in the circumstances, considering that the honour of the daughter of the family (motiben) and her illegitimate child were at stake.

We are economically independent, educated and modern in our thoughts, words and deeds. So it is easy for us to step out of our comfort zone and face the music should it turn into noise. There is no such thing as a "standard operating procedure" for a successful marriage, and yet we fight tooth and nail to keep the bond strong and even pray on certain days for our spouses (men do not have karwa chauth fasting blah blah right?). The mystery here is "why then are we asking Santu to leave?"

If unconditional love is a myth, then successful marriages are a mystery!

This brings back from the memory bank an old song from the movie "Safar":

Jo tum ko ho pasand wohi baat karenge, joh tum din ko raat kaho toh raat kahenge!

Disclaimer: I have been shouting as loud as any of you and want Santu to leave. So please do not throw stones at me? I am not wearing chain mail/armour.

Santu comes from the old world where one has to stick with husbands through thick and thin. All her reasonings are justified and she will suffer any amount of insult for her family. That's why everyone calls her spineless, but in her world she is saving someone by neglecting her feelings and her self.

Thats exactly my point Malli, she is not spineless! Her strength lies in her resilience, faith and value systems.

Santu is the most precious diamond that DM could ever get..but he is least interested in carving it to perfection.. his maalikism and her traditional upbringing stop them from doing it..

i think the fact is that when we love our men, we see them not as our 'devs' but as the little boys they really are deep inside. and that makes us protective. we know they'd crumble without us. we know they can't do without us.

Absolutely Ammoos! I confess too that i would not have walked out on my marriage for this.

Totally, one has to admire her spirit and hope that she always has. Santu has protected the secret of a woman, Moti, who despises her and puts her down at every turn. But this young girl still wants to protect her from any harm and insults. She truly is mahan, not a spineless girl. The day when DM realizes her value is the day that should be declared as SanRaj day.

Originally posted by: gawker

i think the fact is that when we love our men, we see them not as our 'devs' but as the little boys they really are deep inside. and that makes us protective. we know they'd crumble without us. we know they can't do without us.

and we know, when push comes to shove, we'd easily do without them.

when we love them completely, we know they depend so much on us that it breaks our heart to leave them. and what looks like an angry man to someone outside, just looks like a kid throwing a tantrum on the inside.

Well said gawker! Men are nothing but little boys at heart.

Well said everyone...

Originally posted by: Mallika113

Totally, one has to admire her spirit and hope that she always has. Santu has protected the secret of a woman, Moti, who despises her and puts her down at every turn. But this young girl still wants to protect her from any harm and insults. She truly is mahan, not a spineless girl. The day when DM realizes her value is the day that should be declared as SanRaj day.

I cant see that day in near future when DM is behaving this way