Originally posted by: Dips
He did exactly what a father should have done. Protecting the image & respect of his womenfolk.
Don't forget he still considers Santu an outsider...... So I'm proud that DM told her off..
The most selfish person here is Kaddu..... for her happiness she ruined her father's maan & maryada.
If she didn't want to marry she should have told him ver clearly & fought with him, but no every time DM asked her what was wrong , she lied taking her mom's name.
She could have confided to Hiten, Taru-fai or even meghana or better still Shashank like the way Shashank did with his mom/dad/DM.
Kaddu failed as a daugther. She showed that she's a weakling like Maulik.& has no strength of character like DM, Santu or Hiten
I can never understand why people think that running away is the only solution... I know this personally how much the family suffers because of this .....
Ok, I understand that DM thinks Santu is an outsider, hence did not take well to her marring Kaddu's image, however, I do not find Kaddu selfish at all, because trying to obtain happiness is not a selfish act. Kaddu did tell DM she did not want to marry, and DM didn't heed it one bit and said he would rather die then not fulfill Subhi's wish, and what person would try to defy such a father? She clearly saw how immersed in the 'promise' he was, as well as all else, its hard to confide in anyone when no one is willing to listen. She was right when she kept saying 'bali ka bakra' because as another female thats exactly what it was to me..I mean they didn't even ask her when they were doing it, and boom she was engaged, I mean honestly, DM in this matter remains a hypocrite. He says he treats his daughter as a son, and I doubt he would have engaged his son off to someone without even letting him know. Yes, I agree, the way she went about with Sandeep was wrong, but it all just comes down to not being able to confide, I mean the family doesn't even show much humility towards Santu. Its easy to say she could have confided in those people, but not when they obliviously make them selves so unapproachable when it came to the matter. Second off, Kaddu might not be the best person, however, she is young and in love, and if she did not have any character then she would not have got up in the mandup and agreed to what Sandeep had to say, she would have sat there and everyone would have believed that Sandeep was indeed lying. Running away is not the only solution, I agree, but for some people, when faced with such negativity and a family not willing to put there own pride aside in order for their son/daughter to be happy, its the only one. I feel that as a culture, there is way to much importance put in appearance, and such things get in the way, ones pride, and ego and respect should not hinder a person's judgment when it comes to things such as weddings, and Kaddu did confide in her OWN father yet his reaction left the girl's confidence broken, and she is AFRAID of her father, there should never be a moment in one's life in which they are afraid of their parents. In the end I am happy Shashank was able to shed light on the situation in a positive fashion.
Its wrong to fault Kaddu entirely, and it always bothered me how appearances are of more importance in Indian society as opposed to happiness and love. Her situation just didn't work out for her, in the end, like Baa said, at least she came back and got away from his trap. Her heart was broken enough as is, and on top of that her father spews such hatred towards her and even raises his hand towards her (which I think is also very wrong, beating your kids at such an age is never good, and makes one looks very bad). I know he loves her, I will never question that, but some things need to be handled differently. It pained me immensly when DM did not want to go back out into the party, I understand that his respect was shattered, yet his daughter's heart is bleeding, my father would go out there tell everyone how he still trusts me dispite the stupid mistake, yet what 20 year old doesn't make them? Its NOT a reflection of his upbringing, because after a certain age, your child goes ahead and makes his/own choices and how will anyone learn? My parents raised me wonderfully, taught me right from wrong ect but I have make some REALLY stupid choicies in my life, and I know many of you have also, but it has nothing with how you where brought up, but rather how you cope when your mother/father are not there holding your hand in life. Its how you become a person, how you build charector.... Now Kaddu is wiser, she could have not even come to the wedding and ran away just so she didn't have to tie herself to some stranger, but she didn't.
Sigh.
I just find arranged marriges such as these really unjust, and when the girl tries to stand up for her rights she gets humiliated and the father gets angry and its this huge fiasco, and I just want people to be a bit more open minded.
Edited by tashmin - 16 years ago
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