Posted:
Originally posted by: Missesha
Hooked, I agree J is in tough spot. And he has given into the pressures of his family. But the fact is that he chose to say 'yes' so he should put up with it respectfully, just the way when A said 'yes' to Shiv, and was expected to put up with it respectfully.
I had completely disliked A's attitude towards Shiv back then, and now I see J not doing enough for his 'rishta'.It's a whole different thing that Sa is not another Shiv for J, in fact she is more manipulative, but then yet is J doing right by marrying Sa for family's sake? Is it right to fulfill one's wish (family's) at a cost of another one's ( Saanchi's) happiness.Does he have capacity & interest to pull through this 'non-benefiting' & suffocating relationship? If not he should opt out.I don't have any sympathies for Sa here, but I am questioning J's decision and his actions thereafter.Also he should opt out because he does not like Sa, not because he suddenly realised that he likes Ganga. That would be unfair to Sa, regardless of however mean she is.As for Anandi, I agree & maintain that she was wrong in bullying him, and made a lapse on her part when J looked for some help from her. But unfortunately it is J's rishta, and he cannot pass any blame to Anandi / family, if it didn't work out.
I too was not happy with the engagement. J shud have stalled and said outright - I don't like being rushed. Even if it will take 4 months - so be it. I don't feel comfortable getting into it so soon.
But then - when has he ever had anyone listen to him. He gets manipulated n bulldozed into these things all the time. If he ever sticks to his guns - then he gets branded selfish and ungrateful and a snob and all kinds of things.
His family places too many conditions on him all the time. Its like a Gulliver being tied down by all the thousands of tiny ropes. Why are Ds and Sumi not getting criticized I wonder ? Why does no one see how many unfair conditions he is living with and forced to obey ? He is told he is free but he can't do anything of his own free will without getting tied up on a public chauraha and stoned for it. 😡
Why is Jagya always being held wrong ? Why shud Sumi n Sanchi n DS and even Anandi not get questioned on these forums and held guilty for bullying Jagya and controlling him thru emotional mindgames ?
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But then - the saving grace is - this is why we have to have an engagement period. When two parties rush into something without thinking things thru - and rifts happen - maybe that is exactly what is needed to show up the flaws in a union doomed to failure.
This is good. Am glad it is happening. Maybe this will make the truly guilty parties - namely DS and Sumi - realize how wrong they were to try to leash Jagya and how they can't control him and why this relationship will never be smooth. It shud not have happened and I hope it will break before shaadi happens.
For me, the thread has run its course with all points being covered. I am bowing out. 
