should jagya retain his friendship with ganga?

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#11

I really don't care that the relation between him and Ganga is not of friendship

it is not romantic either , at least not from his side

clearly he is trying his hardest to rehabilitate an abused woman personally as he has a guilty conscience about his past arrogance ...his treatment of Anandi

and he made no bones about it ...either to Saanchi or his family

he always told them frankly ...i want to help that woman and i'm gonna do it .

Inspite of knowing him , his thoughts , it was Saanchi who went to his door with her proposal . She made her family beg for his hand .

He never proposed . Not just that , he never asked her in any way to change her lifestyle for him . Never did he tell her to stop talking to boys in college or learn this for him etc . He gave her full space .

Why should his goals change bcoz now they don't suit her , how annoying is the petty jealousy to a man who has higher goals like emancipation of a woman he has taken interest in .

Now many opine that such an interest itself is wrong , it need not be so.

I differ . Why should he have same inteerests as Sumitra and Saanchi ? His life experience makes him think thoughtfully and do human interest things ...neither is he interested in being a damad of a rich house nor does he feel elated at marrying an assumed virgin .

Why should he nt be true to hia own interests .

Living such a marital life is living a lie .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 12 years ago

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#12

Jagya and his relationship with Ganga should be independant of what he feels for Sanchi.

Similarly his relationship with Sanchi should be independant of what he feels for Ganga.

Whether he wants to continue his friendhip with Ganga or not should be entirely dependant on what he feels for her and what he can give her in that relationship and what his expectations from his relationship are.

Right now he thinks he only wants to help her stand on her two feet and may be he is friends with her and he doesn't know that Ganga has started wanting more than just friendship even if she has not expressed it.

But once he gets to know that Ganga loves him and if he feels that he cannot give her that he should back off or tell her that he will do only this much and cannot be anything more than her friend and let Ganga decide what she wants out of it.

Or if he wants to hang on to her despite knowing that he is in no position to give her what she wants then it will be wrong.

Sanchi should not enter this equation he has with Ganga

Ganga should have not enter into his equation with Sanchi.

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

In the first place, Jagya did not want to be tied down with marriage. He should have been allowed to choose his soulmate in his own way. Here they are making the same mistake of insiting that jagya should have stuck with anandi and not gone for gauri. What happened then? A bitter separation for both anandi and Jagya.Ironically, here ganga will be Jagya's gauri while sanchi will be the anandi.

Edited by leavesandwaves - 12 years ago

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shalinii173

@shalinii173

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: sectoreight
I have to put myself in saanchi's position.
</div>
Let us for a second take the manipulative character of specifically saanchi out of the picture ... and let it just be any wife/fiance.

I would feel bad as a wife/fiance if my husband decided to retain a friendship with a female friend that I was explicitly uncomfortable with. Even if I knew it was just a platonic friendship... I would be waiting for the other shoe to drop when I would find that the two of them had developed more than friendship relationship... and were in a full-blown affair.

The Jagya-Ganga friendship would be too much for me to handle even with my husband's assurances that there was nothing going on. I would still be insecure if my doctor husband were that close to a nurse.

I feel Jagya owes it to his future wife to sort of maintain a distance.

At the same time, The Jagya-Ganga friendship was on for a very long time before saanchi came in the picture, and not a newly recently formed one. So, I don't blame Jagya either.

<div>What do you feel and why? Should ganga retain his friendship with ganga now ... or should he terminate it after his marriage?

Yes u r right I don't think I would be comfortable when he retain his friendship with his female friend (with whom iam uncomfortable) but at the same time I don't think would marry a person who never reciprocate my love and more attached to his female frien than me. I can't imagine a husband who absolutely shows no affection towards me.

Edited by shalinii173 - 12 years ago

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Sweta

@BeyondTheSky

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

what jagya shares with ganga is definitely much more than friendship, he is very attached to mannu and feels responsible for him...under normal circumstances i would have said that jagya should draw a line till where he should support ganga & also honor his family commitments.

but in this case jagya is doing all this for ganga & mannu out of his own wish...and it gives him a lot of genuine happiness & satisfaction for the first time in his life...so he shouldn't stop now.

also jagya has forcefully agreed to this marraige with sanchi and it is just a matter of time that the two would go their own ways...whether it is before marriage or after marriage...it doesn't matter...jabardusti ke rishte zyada din tik nahin sakte unless one kills own likes/dislikes & continues in the relationship for the sake of society 😕 which jagya has to do and it is very clear he is not willing to do that.

Edited by BeyondTheSky - 12 years ago

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sectoreight

@sectoreight

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#16

Thanks everyone!! great replies. I will reply to certain points in detail later on.

But one thing I want to say now is that most people are saying "He was never interested in the rishta, he never proposed, her family went to him, he did not go to her family etc."

I feel that is not a valid thought process or factor.

Granted her family went to him, but she is under the impression that he said yes because he too genuinely likes her. Has he explicitly told her that he is marrying her out of duress? That is something only sumitra and he are privy to.

I also feel that once Jagya said yes, then it was a yes. It does not matter who proposed, and whose family initiated the rishta.

The fact that he was not interested in the rishta to begin with or that he did not propose, does not provide a legitimate excuse for him to have a girlfriend on the side. (Not saying ganga is the girlfriend here, that is a very long rope).

Also, once he commits to the rishta, he is under the commitment. whether or not saanchi has the right character traits to be a compatible match with him is a different discussion altogether. The fact that saanchi is manipulative should not colour our views towards protocols in the Jagya-saanchi relationship.

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sectoreight

@sectoreight

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: leavesandwaves
Usually men distance themselves from women who try to restrict them. Especially men like Jagya.

She doesn't see it as restricting him unfortunately. Saanchi is trying to re-model him. She thinks she is trying to enhance him. 😆😆

Edited by sectoreight - 12 years ago

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sectoreight

@sectoreight

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: vasiraju

by now he should have learnt to manage skills of balancing personal life to professional life ...so that everyone can understand the jagiya's intentions towards Ganga

I think this is an excellent point. Since we live in a society, people's opinions do count to a certain extent, and we cant just say "It doesn't matter what others think".

But that being said, how do you propose Jagya do things differently so that others understand Jagya's intentions towards Ganga? The 'insaaniyat ka rishta' part.

I know something is lacking in his approach, but what can he do differently? He has tried to explain to them until he is blue in the face ... ad they are still not understanding.

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sectoreight

@sectoreight

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: aa112233

Agree that Ganga herself should have maintained a distance from Jagya from the beginning. Her interactions with Jagya and the Singhs went beyond the regular boundaries of a woman who was given shelter. Even a close friend of the family who happens to stay over for a few days will not presume to interfere in the host family's affairs as Ganga did with the Singhs. Ganga should have distanced herself from Jagya at least after the engagement, like Ashima did from Shiv.

But don't you feel that the singhs themselves are responsible for this by integrating her into the family and the family functions/pujas to begin with. They opened their arms to her and told her that she is just like family. Naturally she took it at face value. What is wrong in what she did here? I hold the singhs responsible for giving her that much entry into their family affairs. She was naturally carried away because she had never been part of a loving family. Now suddenly she is seen as an intruder. This blow-hot/blow-cold approach is not nice by the singhs.

I feel that there should definitely have been a distance between them after Jagya's engagement to saanchi, but don't you feel that it is for Jagya himself to draw the line? I mean ganga is not throwing herself at him in any way. She happens to be completely at his mercy right now, financially and accommodation wise. If he wants to come near her, she cannot really say no, (or can she?)

Ashima was an independent professional. If she didn't get the love she was looking for she backed off because she was not dependent on shiv either for money or for a roof over her head.

I'm not challenging you, just asking questions which came to my mind when I read your post. Please don't take it otherwise.

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sectoreight

@sectoreight

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: shalinii173

Yes u r right I don't think I would be comfortable when he retain his friendship with his female friend (with whom iam uncomfortable) but at the same time I don't think would marry a person who never reciprocate my love and more attached to his female frien than me. I can't imagine a husband who absolutely shows no affection towards me.

I like the word you have used "more attached"

A lot of people are saying that he just has a friendship, and he is not in love with ganga.

I did not have the vocabulary to describe why I felt it was a wrong argument. So thank you for this word.

Yes, the problem is definitely that in spite of just a friendship, he is more attached to ganga than he is to saanchi. He may not be in love, but his attachment level is far more.

That being said, yes, saanchi should not marry a person who never reciprocates her love and shows her no affection...but in that case, jagya should not have given her the wrong signal by accepting her proposal either. This unravelling of his lack of affection is only coming now. If he didn't love her, he should have just said no at the outset. What is the point of saying yes to the rishta, and demonstrating no interest later on, either in spending time with her or taking the time to phone her?

Saanchi does not know that he didn't have any interest in her and said yes only because of sumitra's pressurizing.

Edited by sectoreight - 12 years ago