Jagya is angry

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Picasso9

@Picasso9

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#61

Originally posted by: sectoreight

Yes, and by logic, that same line of thought could have been applied to anandi when jagya dumped her, or to phooli when her husband and MIL stole the baby and pushed phooli out on to the street.

But the singhs (including sumitra) gave 100% support to both anandi and phooli.

Infact, when gauri questioned bhairon about his support of anandi over jagya ... bhairon clearly said "baat bte aur bahu ki nahi hai, baat sahi aur galat ki hai, aur mein galat ka saath kabhi nahi deta".

Bravo! 👏

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Vidya

@Shinya

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#62

Originally posted by: Truthseeker

Sorry to butt in.

@bold-

I actually appreciate women who go ahead and do what they like- whether it is marrying someone they like...or breaking up with someone they don't like. It shows their individuality and boldness and does not make them any less or cheap. But when a man or a woman neglects their responsibilities(which they willingly entered into) and lives in a dream land and uses their babies to vent out their frustration or sadness, it is not fair for the baby. The baby does not deserve it...they are not responsible for the situation their mum or dad is in. Hence Ganga's behavior is not appreciated here. Her walking in the rain drenching her kid...while dreaming...is not right either - whatever her situation may be!

@Truthseeker -- thanks for butting in.

@Sector8 - I shall debate on this topic when I get back home... now busy in the office... cheers !

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sectoreight

@sectoreight

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#63

Truthseeker,

Thanks for your reply as well 😆

I think instead of debating specifics in blue, red and green... I would just like to offer a generic statement in support of ganga.

Maybe ganga doesn't do a lot of things that the ideal parent with a lot of resources do... but she does do things to the best of HER ability and the best of HER resources. And maybe that falls short of conventional guidelines or standards of parenting, but still it cannot be seen as neglect.

Tomorrow we may start criticizing her that manu is not enrolled in a nursery school... but we have to see what ganga's conditions are. If ganga had a lot of money and decided to spend it all on designer outfits for herself and refused to buy food or education for manu, only then can it be called neglect. Otherwise not at all.

The rain scene -- absent minded certainly, but what possible presence of mind/focus can she have in that situation. If she had a well-thought out plan or a pre-decided destination to go to, she might have been very focused and gone in a straight, focused manner to her next place. In the absence of any clear plan or destination, it is quite logical that she would be dilly-dallying, walking slowly, not really sure of herself.

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Picasso9

@Picasso9

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#64

@kools and sector eight and Hooked

Thank you ! It's been such a pleasure reading your posts. What wonderful insights.

I am really enjoying the forum with all the discussions. 👏

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Vidya

@Shinya

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#65

Originally posted by: sectoreight
Shinya, I disagree with your judgement of ganga.

Does it mean that someone who needs to study has no requirement for love?

I mean since when is studies/working mutually exclusive with wanting love in one's life?

Why should ganga only focus on her studies? I feel that wanting close relationships with others is a very strong human desire and it should very well be an aspiration for everyone.

Finally I don't understand why focusing on Jagya makes ganga a 'bad mother'.

Jagya is a man who loves Manu and who loves her son. He has shown complete affection for Manu.

I can understand if you felt that way because Ganga was in love with a man who disliked her son, but for ganga to be in love with someone who also likes her son... I think that's fair.

How does Ganga's dividing her focus between her studies and her love make her 'hopelessly cheap'. ?

How does Ganga's loving Jagya make her a bad mother? particularly if Jagya is also in love with her son?

To that question in red above...My question is how could she focus on anything else other than her studies?

I think, we both look at Ganga from a different angle. Hence the difference in POV.

In your POV, she is just a normal school/college going student who has her family to look after her. Not only food, clothing and shelter but other luxuries are also at her disposal. She seems to be studying for advancement in her career rather than out of need. If at all anything is missing in her life, it is love. So its okay for her to focus on her love life.

Kaash, this was her condition... I would also be supporting her falling in love as it is perfectly normal for any normal person to fall in love.

Now my POV -- She is a homeless woman who has been given shelter by some unknown family out of humanity so that she could stand on her own feet, make a living for herself and move out... She is not a part of the family but 'like a family member'. There is an additional word there 'like'.

Singhs never aimed at making her a family member by marrying her to jagya. This was made clear to her by dadisa when she said to her, after jagya's marriage I will also get you married.

Where is the question of her falling in love ? They were searching for a bride for him. No one considered her as a prospective bride not even jagya... You might say, love just happens... In that case, would she fantasize to be his wife if he was a married man? Would she cry in the bathroom how 'can I see him with his wife?' .. Would she not keep her feelings under her kaabu?

My point is, a woman in her place just cannot afford to think of her own love life even if it is for 'some needs' .. She was insulted by sumitra several times, her mannu was insulted...Her goal should have been to study, find any job and move out.

Had she done that, her condition would have been much better today. What is the point cursing Sumitra ? Isnt she responsible for what has happened?

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#66

Didn't see her at any point halting her education as a nurse for 'love' .She gave the exam , awaited the result , applied to the nursing diploma and was awaiting the results . These things take time and all these incidences have been shown to occur between this .

Also , never ever saw her deciding she was good enough to be a haveli bahu .

Saw her falling in love privately and keeping it all to herself . Is it wrong to have multiple feelings while pursuing a goal . Is not that a human being , with multiple feelings ?

Why should the private feelings of some be decided by their 'aukat' or 'affordability ' . All human beings r prone to multiple emotions , it is not that only the rich can afford the luxury of being in love on a full stomach after a burp .

If Saachi can afford to fall in love with her bhabi's ex as if no other man existed in the world why not Ganga fall for her saviour ...does Saachi have more right bcoz of the wealth .

I don't believe any such rights r privileges . So long as one does not lose perspective each one has a right to private feelings . She is focussing on her nursing , does not intend to tell Jagya of her feelings , does not have any illusions about her status in society . All she has r some private feelings for Jagya and i don't think anything is wrong about it .

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Vidya

@Shinya

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#67

Originally posted by: sectoreight
Shinya,

you also said that ganga is cheap because in the letter to jagya she wrote "main aapke laayak nahi hoon"... and that implied she was considering marrying him.

I doubt that there was any such implication of marriage or love.

All she was doing is saying "Thank you for the effort you have put into me, but I am not deserving of all your time and energy and effort . Please don't waste any more time on my education".

it was her humility speaking. .

She was not saying "I am not your social equal, I am not worthy of becoming your wife"

Where did she say, dont waste your time on my education? why should her worthiness be an issue for jagya if he is just helping her studies?

She said I am not your layak therefore I am leaving. From what she wrote one can deduce very clearly that she was saying you deserve someone better... but in the first he never considered for anything.

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#68

I thought she meant ' I am not worthy of all this attention ' did not see any romantic inuendo in the word 'layak' 😕

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sectoreight

@sectoreight

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#69

Shinya,

I agree with what Koolsadhu has replied to you.

I am yet to see any evidence of Ganga taking it easy because she thought "what's the point of studying? I am eventually going to be the haveli bahu anyway" . She never once thought that. And we cannot attribute that to her UNLESS THERE WAS AN INTERNAL MONOLOGUE SHE HAD WITH HERSELF WHERE CVS EXPLICITLY SHOWED THAT SHE HAD THE PLAN TO JETTISON HER STUDIES IN ORDER TO BECOME HAVELI BAHU.

I am yet to see any evidence that Ganga failed to reach any of her academic goals because she was lollygagging or daydreaming about daaktar-sa. If she had failed in her 10th std exams or failed to achieve a seat in the nursing college admission, yes, your case would have merit. But in the current situation - she both passed her 10th exam and got her nursing college admission.

There will always be time-lags between exams and results and stuff. Even now, it is not that she is deliberately withholding going to the nursing college in Mangalore because of her love for haveli folks or daaktar-sa. The course hasn't started yet, and may not for another one or two months.

If, after receiving admission, she secretly wrote to the college to cancel her admission, because she wanted to continue staying in Jayetsar, then fine, I would agree with you.

There has not been any delay by Ganga in passing exams. It has not been that she has failed her 10th exam three times, and it has taken her another four years to pass her nursing exams, and that she has been deliberately delaying passing her exams to stay on in the haveli.

To say that "she should have got a job, any job" is also a little ridiculous in the context of Jayetsar. It is not like that conservative society is abounding with any jobs for 10th pass women. If at all a woman is to have a DECENT job, she will need to have training of some sort. She took whatever job the Singhs/Jagya gave her in the hospital. That job too was based on the good will of the singhs and not her academic qualifications.

As far as the falling in love part - we cant help whom we fall in love with. You are saying "why bother falling in love when it is a dead-end to begin with" -- but I don't think Ganga was falling in love with the intention of an end-goal -- to become his wife. She just fell in love period. We cant control our feelings for people. But she has never acted upon it.

If she had gone straight to Jagya and said to him "Please don't marry saanchi, marry me instead, I have feelings for you ", or tried to break the rishta, then it would be one thing. But she never acted upon it.

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#70

Ganga's is not from servant class as her husband seems to be quite well off, hiring goondas etc.

Ganga's mental trauma. Where to go?

Ganga's dreamlike moments and the harsh truth of being homeless on a rainy night.

Dadisa said go in the morning but dadisa did not say dont go ganga. Dadisa is the head of the family and so ganga understood that she is not wanted.

Edited by leavesandwaves - 12 years ago

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Jagya is angry - Page 7

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