Use of word 'Paramishvar' for husband - Page 3

Originally posted by: aparnauma

As I said before Pati parameshwar becomes meaning less if he only uses the power that comes with it to get what he wants from his wife.It assumes a totally different meaning whn the man uses it give everything in his power to make his wife and children happy.

@ 5cents

Originally posted by: samantha1987200

According to me a rapist will rape even if a woman is wearing mangalsutras and sindur. Had these symbols in any way protected women, all women today would adorn themselves with them instead of carrying pepper sprays...!!

Originally posted by: 5cents

The word PARAMESHWAR was used in olden times when woman were not independent and were dependent on man for financial needs. Then lack of education among women made MAN the Godly figure.

A few accepted facts are-Physically Men are stronger than women, Mentally both are equal,Emotionally women are stronger than men. How does society relate & use these facts in the institution of a family? Men were sent out to earn & feed, women were to stay back & support them emotionally in every case & in anycase the situation is more or less same today except at Mental level. where a woman's opinion was never asked before now even her opinions are respected.They are given equal education & opportunity to follow the career of their choice...(hopefully) which gives them financial independence & confidence. Awareness is much more than before.

My few years in God's own city Gurgaon showed me the reality of modern India. I had couple of friends & colleagues there who were pretty educated and from well to do families. I always had a difference of opinion with them... they thought that making your husband help you with your household is not good... My husband suggested me not to tell them that he helps me all the time with house hold chores...'coz they didn't get the whole point and they thought that I made him do chores all the time( made him kaam ki boojh ka maara). Some of them didn't let their son's do any work... I told them that so what he is your "son", why can't he help you clean the dishes and she is like "no yaar, i can't make him do that"... If she makes her daughter do that work, why can't her son do it...that is so absurd.. specially woman putting her leg on axe thingy. I fail to understand why these standard rules are different for girls and boys...maybe Indian girls have been programmed that way .

There are also some woman who does not want to be equal to men ..they just want to follow their man rather than walking together. it's its hard for me to figure out why?

When I was young ...I used to convince myself nothing will happen,world changes so fast,things will change & may be boys will have to leave their house & stay with in laws, bUT nOTHING cHANGED !!! Even today we don't like 'Gharjamai' n 'joru ka gulam'(definitions may vary !!) so to an extent we too like male dominance. 😉

You are right to some extent, a lot of Indian women are conditioned to think a certain way,however, thats changing slowly but steadily. After all it did in the west.

You won't believe but at one point of time Christianity was more rigid than Hinduism ever was, but now hardly any Christian's use the term "obey" in marriage vows...

There are matriarchal societies in India as well , in some parts south India males come to live with the females family . However, the ideal household would be that in which both husband and wife set up an independent household and both set of parents are welcome to stay with the couple if they want. This will be fair to both men and women. After all, a woman misses her family too.

I don't know whether posting links of other forums is allowed but below are links which show that Indian society is changing.
http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/feminism-by-indian-bloggers/

Originally posted by: sectoreight

Samantha,

I think there are two categories of rapists/molestors/eve-teasers.

1. Those who cannot control their physical urges and dont give a damn whether women are married or not.

2. Those who perceive that married women are 'off limits' but that unmarried women (particularly divorcees or unmarried women of a later age) exist purely for their own sexual pleasure and are 'within limits'...

For category # 2 rapists/eve-teasers, symbols of mangalsutra and sindoor are effective deterrents. Just see how gulli was eve teased by heth singh's son. If gulli were a married woman, they would not have dared because they would feel some sort of natural fear in the social setting of jayetsar.

Granted if there are people with crude physical urges or mental psychological issues they are not able to relieve, then they will go after any woman, married or unmarried.

But if there are gundas/mawalis who are in thinking mode and employing even minimum rational thougnt process, they will think twice about it before attacking a married woman.

Sorry but I disagree completely !!!! You cannot categorize rapist. A rapist is a rapist and will rape no matter what.

Samantha - Like you said in Christian weddings they don't have to use the word obey.You are right it need not be there.But when you honour and cherish that some one truly you automatically obey if you think it is necessary.

Originally posted by: aparnauma

/

Just because you in phrases like pati parameshwar or you like to wear all the symbols of marriage doesn't mean that you are not a liberated or an independent woman. JMO.

/

Originally posted by: sectoreight

I agree, I think there are a wide variety of contexts and a wide variety of thought processes in women.

It is not the action per se, but how one feels while doing the action which is important.

A woman like sumitra obviously will love the idea of calling bhairon pati parmeshwar and wearing symbols of marriage because she loves bhairon, and the action of wearing these symbols or doing his aarti or keeping a fast for him are all motivated by love. so she will feel ease, comfort, joy, security when she does these things, or wears mangalsutra.

A woman like gehna may perform the actions of doing these, but may vomit internally, (particularly in the beginning of the marriage when basant was raping her). for her, she may do all this, but her spirit will obviously feel completely and totally violated because she has no good feeling towards her husband, or perhaps if she does, it is not voluntarily, but has come about by default after many years of coming to terms with their relationship and accepting the compromise of a marriage.

It just depends on how one feels when one does any action, and that is an individual decision for everyone.

Actually to each his/her own.

These things may feel small or trifle if you view them on their but when viewed on a whole, these are nothing but subtle ways of male chauvinism in Indian society and a lot of women do all this voluntarily but a lot of them are forced as well.

Originally posted by: aparnauma

Samantha - Like you said in Christian weddings they don't have to use the word obey.You are right it need not be there.But when you honour and cherish that some one truly you automatically obey if you think it is necessary.

The key words are honour and cherish.If these two are there between the two of them it doesn't matter who obeys whom.😊

Then, its fine because both obey each other. It becomes a partnership where both are equal.As long as there's equality everything's fine.