having a moral compass - why does it matter?

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tinoo

@tinoo

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Posted: 13 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ
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For me karma-dharma-fate are interlinked concepts. I believe ethical karma (including honesty in matter of import) is my dharma. As for fate, its out-of-my hands. I can only do karma... rather nishpaap karma and not worry about the fruits. Gita and/or Hemingway's influence on my spirituality.

ooh!! this is good. I rarely have massive lightbulb moments on the forum ... but this is a big one!!

thanks anjana.

see i have always seen karma as being separate from dharma... but to say that one is the same as the other ... or rather that they merge into each other is beautiful.

my own interpretation of my previous post is more from a lack/abundance perspective ... I never take any action out of fear/jealousy/ ultimatums/ negative lack-filled emotion because I know the result will also be lack-filled... and any action taken out of love and joy will result in an outcome filled with love and joy...

but your sentiments brought things home in a very clear way.

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NoOne12

@NoOne12

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ

For me karma-dharma-fate are interlinked concepts. I believe ethical karma (including honesty in matter of import) is my dharma. As for fate, its out-of-my hands. I can only do karma... rather nishpaap karma and not worry about the fruits. Gita and/or Hemingway's influence on my spirituality.

How is Hemingway related to spirituality? What has he written? 😊

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AnjanaYYZ

@AnjanaYYZ

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: avantikasharma1
How is Hemingway related to spirituality? What has he written? 😊

Hemingway was into existentialism...a prime example that school of thought is in his novel A Farewell to Arms. Basically, in the novel he compares love and religion in the midst of war as the protagonist falls in love to extent his love is his oasis/his god only to lose her.

Returning to existentialism my simplistic understanding of school of philosophy is that its a belief that if there is a god, s/he's indifferent...so, its up to the individual to give meaning to life. And as an individual the only thing I can control is my actions- or rather my reactions. in short - my reactions provide meaning to my life. If my actions are negative - the meaning I give to my life is negative... is that about as clear as mud for you now!😆

Edited by AnjanaYYZ - 13 years ago

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#44

How to do this apjk? the acts define the person dont they?

I agree with you

I mean the acts define their values, and their values are their identity.

Agree with you

If I had a friend who murdered someone, how can I disassociate myself from the act without losing the friend?

I honestly do not have an answer for this.May be there is only so much we can take from that person not beyond that.

Can we define values for others? How right are we in breaking off relationships based on our value systems?.

Today we may break off with a friend because we couldnt find agreement in our values.And tomorrow someone would do the same to us because we did not fit into their value systems.Shouldnt we accept each other with all imperfections?

Edited by apjk - 13 years ago

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madhubala.fan

@madhubala.fan

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#45

🤢

Originally posted by: tinoo
Anjana,

I do not think that this is appropriate -- because first of all dadisa is not privy to the one-sided relationship that exists between shiv and ashi -- that is something only we viewers are privy to -- dadisa does not know that shiv has no feelings for ashi -- infact, that is why ashi was present at shiv's birthday party as a figment of dadisa's imagination -- because she clearly saw ashi as a competitor.

How can she know whether there has been a physical relationship or not when ashi was living in the circuit house in jayetsar? Maybe they are in the midst of a long distance relationship. Maybe he has consummated the relationship with her prior to marriage, prior to arriving in jayetsar, while they are in jayetsar... whatever.

And the fact that anandi cannot get suitors like shiv because of her village girl mode and because of her divorcee status does not make it okay for dadisa to try to snatch shiv away from ashi, just because ashi can get other suitors in London...

I understand where dadisa is coming from, but I dont appreciate it.

I would have appreciated it, if at a minimum, before presenting shiv with anandi's proposal, she had atleast asked shiv if he was in a relationship with ashi... after ascertaining that it was one-sided, and that he was single both in the marital and in the emotional sense, then if she decided to throw anandi's hat into the ring, I would fully respect that.

But her intention was that even if ashi-shiv relationship existed, she would break it even if it meant ashi suffering, and I dont think that was correct...

true but i think im only human and i sooo want happiness for anandi that im overlooking this fact in preference. if shiv dsnt love ashi may be its in her best interests to not get married to him . not sure wht i wud have done in a real life situation. but i would definitely have asked shivclearly if he wanted to marry anandi, i dont think i would have o tried to delibrately break ashi up with shiv. i dont possess those skills and breaking two people in love is against my value systems. personally umm sorry i just love shiv an and would much rather see them hooked up in this SHOW.

Edited by anjana.d - 13 years ago

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: anjana.d

To answer this question let me give you an example.It is something very similar to the story Balikavadhu.A cousin of mine was married at a very early age of course not bal vivah but at the age of 21 to a girl who also happens to be a distant cousin.They are two very different people who were married of by our uncles.They had tough time adjusting to each other used to have lot of fights.Finally 7 years and 2 children later the man got hitched to an other woman much older than him.He started living in with her while he still married.All the attempts made by the family members to get him back to his wife failed. Just like Jagya he even got married to this lady without divorcing his wife.His first wife removed mangal sutr and went off to her parents place.My cousin was not allowed to come back home .My uncle and the rest of the family was completely supported wife. Now after so many years we know that he is not going to get back to his legal wife.Now it is so many years what are we supposed to in this instance?Can the children be deprived of their father? He committed adultery it is obviously not acceptable by any of us..Is it possible for his legal wife who also happens to be a cousin of mine to cut herself off from him completely?For me he is more like an elder brother than cousin. When we sit and watch balika vadhu it is very easy to condemn Jagya.So what we did now with our cousin is to make it clear to him that his illegal wife is not welcome in our homes and lives while he is welcome.To my mind it is accepting the person while still telling him that what he has done is wrong.

I hope that explains wht i said about accepting a person.

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Ruchira

@nobodyatnotime

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#47

Everybody has had some wise things to say, so I'll keep my opinion short. Knowing what is right and wrong is important, and not because of what society thinks, but because of one's own responsibility towards oneself, one's family and relations. We need to be free to lead our own lives, make our own choices- but that freedom should be executed with honesty and empathy. We must be honest in all our relations and we must not hurt someone who loves us. Cheating in a relationship is wrong, whether you call it a moral compass or whatever.

I could understand your friend's PoV, but he shouldn't have hid the truth from his girlfriend.

Edited by nobodyatnotime - 13 years ago

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madhubala.fan

@madhubala.fan

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: apjk

To answer this question let me give you an example.It is something very similar to the story Balikavadhu.A cousin of mine was married at a very early age of course not bal vivah but at the age of 21 to a girl who also happens to be a distant cousin.They are two very different people who were married of by our uncles.They had tough time adjusting to each other used to have lot of fights.Finally 7 years and 2 children later the man got hitched to an other woman much older than him.He started living in with her while he still married.All the attempts made by the family members to get him back to his wife failed. Just like Jagya he even got married to this lady without divorcing his wife.His first wife removed mangal sutr and went off to her parents place.My cousin was not allowed to come back home .My uncle and the rest of the family was completely supported wife. Now after so many years we know that he is not going to get back to his legal wife.Now it is so many years what are we supposed to in this instance?Can the children be deprived of their father? He committed adultery it is obviously not acceptable by any of us..Is it possible for his legal wife who also happens to be a cousin of mine to cut herself off from him completely?For me he is more like an elder brother than cousin. When we sit and watch balika vadhu it is very easy to condemn Jagya.So what we did now with our cousin is to make it clear to him that his illegal wife is not welcome in our homes and lives while he is welcome.To my mind it is accepting the person while still telling him that what he has done is wrong.
I hope that explains wht i said about accepting a person.

then why are u not welcoming his new wife? she is only as much responsible for this as ur cousin himself.

ur punishmnt shud have been equal to both of them. but u are laying the blame only at the door of the second woman.

from a purely personal view : i find this incompatibility issue a total crap !

he were compatible enough to bring two children into this world! i think u know what i mean, and then oen day he finds someone else compatible. and he forgets what his desicions may affect them!

no on1 is 100% tailor made for u in this world. and ANY marriage needs adjustments. what ur coisin did is irresponsible just like jagiya.i totally hate jagiya and i have sympathy for both woemn involved. i am totally sorry to say this but i dont sympathise with ur cousin and i feel terrible for his innocent wife. how u can get close enough with a person to produce children and make a family and then like totally disconnect with them is totally beyond me. i cannot connect with such a peron and it is totally wrong and unacceptable according to my value systems. i am so sorry if i have hurt u with my views but i had to be honest. im sorry once again .

Edited by anjana.d - 13 years ago

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#49

Don't worry you haven't hurt my feelings. There is no perfect way of doing things.How would the children feel if we ostracise their father.What I am trying to say we have to do our best to do the right thing in any given situation.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#50

Originally posted by: apjk
Don't worry you haven't hurt my feelings. There is no perfect way of doing things.How would the children feel if we ostracise their father.What I am trying to say we have to do our best to do the right thing in any given situation.

But do you perceive they will be happy if you include their father but ostracise their mother?

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