Posted:
Hey nice post Tinoo👏 Really thought-provoking.
I can just say that the value systems of all religions or castes or countries are all based on ONE universal fact of RIGHTEOUSNESS.See different situations can have different definitions of what is right or what is wrong.But acc. to me the simplest definition of righteousness is doing something which does not harm someone's life.If any act that is done even with the best intentions HARMS anyone's life in the slightest of ways then it is wrong.And this is the basic ground for each and every value system.
Here if we talk about ur friends case then he wasn't wrong till he had no kids.I think before having kids he would have got enough time to decide his status of mind.If then he wud have demanded a divorce then it was still acceptable.But once you have kids you ought to take their responsibility.Its about someone's life afterall.Then you ought to adjust with ur life partner bcoz now its no longer just your life but the life of ur kids as well.No child with divorced parents can ever live with the same mental peace with which a child with both parents lives.Having lost your parent due to some mishap is a different thing but divorced parents is a different issue.See here comes the value system in picture.His first fault was that he left his wife with 2 kids as if she is the only one responsible for them.Financial independence is not everything.Money anyone can earn but only one can give the love of a parent.And your friend left his kids without worrying that who will take the responsibility of their moral upbringing...the responsibility of the security which only a dad can bring...the responsibility of their mental harmony. I think he was just plainly selfish.Secondly ur breaking the friendship is also justified bcoz not only he spoiled the life of his kids but also he is lying to the new girl in his life.Again he is harming so many lives...the girl's life who is living in a false pretext that he is single and she is the only girl in his life plus the girl's family who would be considering him as a trust worthy person.The girls parents dont even know that their daughters future is not secure.Its in the hands of man who is emotionally so insensitive that the concern of his own kids couldn't make him sacrifice his personal happiness or I shud say selfishness.
Now moving the discussion to anandi and jagiya I think the same happened with them also.Yes jagiya was not wrong till he fell in love and decided to remarry.But in that thing he again and again made anandi the victim - the victim of rejection,the victim of a feeling of uselessness...the victim of mental and psychological abuse.He could have told about his feelings in a better manner by giving due respect to anandi and not making her feel dwarf.Then anandi would have taken it as a part and parcel of destiny.But he crushed her self-confidence and made her feel as if she is not desired.He made her feel as if she is not worthy of anything just to prove that his adultery was right! That was the point when he crossed the blink line between right and wrong.Many a times we do wrong things under the wraps of a so called liberal nature or modern outlook.We think that just bcoz we hang out in malls...we see couples smooching shamelessly in public areas...we live in an era of live-in relationships and homosexual relationships...we think that bcoz we do all these things we have become too modern to spoil someone's life and flaunt it as style statement just like Gauri does.No I am not against any of these practices.I am against the fact that ppl use this modernity as an excuse to spoil someone's life.And actually this is what jagiya and gauri do.For gauri its a feather in her cap that she impressed jagiya more than anandi.But that doesnt forgive the mistakes in any way.
So we need our value system only to differentiate these blink lines.There is always a small difference between such emotional povs and dilemmas.and its our value system only which helps us to see beneath these wraps.
I can just say that the value systems of all religions or castes or countries are all based on ONE universal fact of RIGHTEOUSNESS.See different situations can have different definitions of what is right or what is wrong.But acc. to me the simplest definition of righteousness is doing something which does not harm someone's life.If any act that is done even with the best intentions HARMS anyone's life in the slightest of ways then it is wrong.And this is the basic ground for each and every value system.
Here if we talk about ur friends case then he wasn't wrong till he had no kids.I think before having kids he would have got enough time to decide his status of mind.If then he wud have demanded a divorce then it was still acceptable.But once you have kids you ought to take their responsibility.Its about someone's life afterall.Then you ought to adjust with ur life partner bcoz now its no longer just your life but the life of ur kids as well.No child with divorced parents can ever live with the same mental peace with which a child with both parents lives.Having lost your parent due to some mishap is a different thing but divorced parents is a different issue.See here comes the value system in picture.His first fault was that he left his wife with 2 kids as if she is the only one responsible for them.Financial independence is not everything.Money anyone can earn but only one can give the love of a parent.And your friend left his kids without worrying that who will take the responsibility of their moral upbringing...the responsibility of the security which only a dad can bring...the responsibility of their mental harmony. I think he was just plainly selfish.Secondly ur breaking the friendship is also justified bcoz not only he spoiled the life of his kids but also he is lying to the new girl in his life.Again he is harming so many lives...the girl's life who is living in a false pretext that he is single and she is the only girl in his life plus the girl's family who would be considering him as a trust worthy person.The girls parents dont even know that their daughters future is not secure.Its in the hands of man who is emotionally so insensitive that the concern of his own kids couldn't make him sacrifice his personal happiness or I shud say selfishness.
Now moving the discussion to anandi and jagiya I think the same happened with them also.Yes jagiya was not wrong till he fell in love and decided to remarry.But in that thing he again and again made anandi the victim - the victim of rejection,the victim of a feeling of uselessness...the victim of mental and psychological abuse.He could have told about his feelings in a better manner by giving due respect to anandi and not making her feel dwarf.Then anandi would have taken it as a part and parcel of destiny.But he crushed her self-confidence and made her feel as if she is not desired.He made her feel as if she is not worthy of anything just to prove that his adultery was right! That was the point when he crossed the blink line between right and wrong.Many a times we do wrong things under the wraps of a so called liberal nature or modern outlook.We think that just bcoz we hang out in malls...we see couples smooching shamelessly in public areas...we live in an era of live-in relationships and homosexual relationships...we think that bcoz we do all these things we have become too modern to spoil someone's life and flaunt it as style statement just like Gauri does.No I am not against any of these practices.I am against the fact that ppl use this modernity as an excuse to spoil someone's life.And actually this is what jagiya and gauri do.For gauri its a feather in her cap that she impressed jagiya more than anandi.But that doesnt forgive the mistakes in any way.
So we need our value system only to differentiate these blink lines.There is always a small difference between such emotional povs and dilemmas.and its our value system only which helps us to see beneath these wraps.
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
