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It was a new day for her.
For long her heart had known only to bleed. It bled when he went away to the city, it bled when he refused to acknowledge her as his wife, it bled when he called her an useless rustic housewife whose hands only smell of spices, it bled when he insulted her even on her day of achievement, it bled when he uttered those deadly words over the phone---"I don't love you"
Since then it had known only to bleed. The sharp stab that she felt when she saw him walking in with another bride, the pain of seeing another woman claiming her husband as her own, the unbearable agony of seeing another woman shutting the door to be intimate with the man she loved more than her life, the wounds of the numerous abuses and insults from them that reminded her over and over again how worthless, how undeserving, how vermin like she was. How she is held responsible even for a death of an unborn child, how her life can be traded off in exchange of some property.
And yet she kept going. She had died as a person and reborn as a people's leader. She could lead a thousand villagers and fight against all evils, but she still refused to meet herself alone. The one who led the crowd was afraid of solitude.
And then he came. Invading her dreamscape, forcing himself into her solitude. His eyes pulled her, her heart had started to skip beats again. She was part of a duet that she could no longer escape, their steps fell in harmony, together they created music. And then he took out her bleeding heart. He tended it with utmost care, healing it with a compassion she had never seen in her life. Yes, she has been praised before. The villagers praised her for being a great leader, Sumitra praised her for being a great daughter, teacherji praised her for being a great student, dadisa praised her for being a great beendni, Phooli had praised her for being a great friend.
But nobody had praised her only for being herself. Nobody praised her for being Anandi. As he led her to a new dawn, she was no longer afraid to face herself. The heart has finally stopped bleeding, the windows are finally open. Let the new light in.
For long her heart had known only to bleed. It bled when he went away to the city, it bled when he refused to acknowledge her as his wife, it bled when he called her an useless rustic housewife whose hands only smell of spices, it bled when he insulted her even on her day of achievement, it bled when he uttered those deadly words over the phone---"I don't love you"
Since then it had known only to bleed. The sharp stab that she felt when she saw him walking in with another bride, the pain of seeing another woman claiming her husband as her own, the unbearable agony of seeing another woman shutting the door to be intimate with the man she loved more than her life, the wounds of the numerous abuses and insults from them that reminded her over and over again how worthless, how undeserving, how vermin like she was. How she is held responsible even for a death of an unborn child, how her life can be traded off in exchange of some property.
And yet she kept going. She had died as a person and reborn as a people's leader. She could lead a thousand villagers and fight against all evils, but she still refused to meet herself alone. The one who led the crowd was afraid of solitude.
And then he came. Invading her dreamscape, forcing himself into her solitude. His eyes pulled her, her heart had started to skip beats again. She was part of a duet that she could no longer escape, their steps fell in harmony, together they created music. And then he took out her bleeding heart. He tended it with utmost care, healing it with a compassion she had never seen in her life. Yes, she has been praised before. The villagers praised her for being a great leader, Sumitra praised her for being a great daughter, teacherji praised her for being a great student, dadisa praised her for being a great beendni, Phooli had praised her for being a great friend.
But nobody had praised her only for being herself. Nobody praised her for being Anandi. As he led her to a new dawn, she was no longer afraid to face herself. The heart has finally stopped bleeding, the windows are finally open. Let the new light in.
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