She finally met herself

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: woman11
tinoo I am blushing tomato red😳. Please do not kill me with kindness😆

aww... I'm in a murderous rage tonight be careful 😆

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woman11

@woman11

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: tinoo
For me, my 'jagya' was over critical parents. Wonderful people but just so focused on academic grades and music and sports -- as a means of proving one's competence and superiority.

I "did" a lot, but it was never enough... I always had to "do" more and more and more to keep up with a moving target before I could finally earn their love.

So, I have many many achievements, but all acquired through the fear of not being good enough or worthy...none of them acquired simply through the satisfaction of learning.

After a while I fell really ill (with another illness -- but i believe the root cause is psychosomatic -- my cells could not take the stress and resistance 😆😆)

I was always behind myself. always behind. always behind. frantically trying to catch up.

And even after I became an adult, and nobody expected anything of me, I still had those voices in my head and I went into overdrive all by myself.

and I was always behind. always behind. always behind.

Never good enough to be me.

so I one day just gave up and said "f**k it"... and the energy that is freed up when you do something for the satisfaction of it and not to prove your worthiness is just amazing. 🤣🤣

Oh the freedom!!! My illness has almost vanished now. 🤣🤣

Anandi, you go girl!!! You are MORE THAN ENOUGH.

I completely understand your situation. For me it's quite similar, the only difference being my parents never pushed me for academic achievement. Instead, every time I achieved something, I could see their prestige go up in the social and family cycle. I am talking about an academic social circle of over-achievers (my parents are professors) and a huge family with multiple same-age people, leading to inadvertent cut-throat competition. So though my parents never imposed anything on me, I still feel the pressure of doing something for their status and honor, and trust me, it's killing me😭.

My in-laws again are very progressive but a family of over-achievers too. And along with the betas the bahus too are in for a latent academic-financial success competition. For the bahus, nobody cares how much gold you carried, a rank in UPSC exam carries much more prestige😆 .Again, my parents in law are the most amazing people ever, but I feel I am letting them down if I am not doing something prestigious enough😭

Edited by woman11 - 13 years ago

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KwitKatts

@KwitKatts

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#23

Antara [may I call you that??] and Tinoo...Both of you have written sooo beautifully😊 Made me emotional😭Tinoo great that you met yourself👏...awaiting that day in my life now that you said its a wonderful feeling. But I'm 20 and I haven't come out of my parent's shadow and their expectations. For me its their expectations that keeps me going. The day I would come out of it...I would breakdown🤢

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Payal

@payalibm

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#24

such a lovely thught and complete 16 anay truth...so beautifuly said 👏 👏 👏...acurate..bulls eye...today anandi got to know her iner self...shiv made her meet herself...nwo she is on healing path and then the outsome will be awsome..anandi will fall in ir-recoverable love for shiv...her strength..her life..her days..her nights ..her breath..her soul..evrything SHIV...evrything will start with SHIV and will end on SHIV for anandi...ufff...lovely ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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woman11

@woman11

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: katts
Antara [may I call you that??] and Tinoo...Both of you have written sooo beautifully😊 Made me emotional😭Tinoo great that you met yourself👏...awaiting that day in my life now that you said its a wonderful feeling. But I'm 20 and I haven't come out of my parent's shadow and their expectations. For me its their expectations that keeps me going. The day I would come out of it...I would breakdown🤢

of course you may call me by name kats😛 There is nothing wrong with parents' expectations, and many times they will never impose them on you, you yourself would want to make your parents proud😛. But just remember not to overkill yourself only to meet other's expectations 😛 We just need to know ourselves and appreciate ourselves for what we are😛

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vasuja

@vasuja

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#26

wonderful antara and tinoo...today anandi's dialogue was very heart touching, just made us realise how much jagya has damaged her inner self...good to see her healing...after the wonderful first scene everything else was like noise.

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vasuja

@vasuja

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#27

and i should say pratyusha was too good in the first scene. her voice modulation, subtle expressions everything was soo good. she just brought out the 5 or more years of pain with her expressions...hats off pratyusha

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tweetie19

@tweetie19

Dazzler

+ 9

Posted: 13 years ago

#28

Lovely post...very heart touching...finally it is time for anandi's wounds to heal...the long darkness is soon going to end and there will be a new ray of hope in her life...