Anandi's boundaries as a sarpanch - Page 21

Originally posted by: tinoo

I am saying she should prosecute jagya not the singhs.

The singhs being good should not preclude her from prosecuting jagya.

That was the discussion going on. Jagya has not realized his mistake has he?

Just because a criminal's parents are nice to her does not deflect away from his crime.

Originally posted by: tinoo

You know, i see this entire thing as a complete and total failure on Anandi's part.

I really believe that authoritarian measures and fear based tactics can only go so far (whether in governmental activities or in parenting matters)... after a while they are ineffective. The only real solution is for people to actively want to obey the law because they see how it benefits them and how it is a good thing ... not a hindrance.

In no land does Law act as a benefit, it is mostly seen as a hindrance. Law by definition a set of prescriptive rules to be followed, because disobedience comes with stiff punishment. Law does not act as a rewarding mechanism for those who follow it. rather it functions as something that carries penalties.

My belief (based on what I saw yesterday and today) is that anandi goes around talking about child marriage based on what has happened to her. Her personal story. A lot of people will just mock her and see her as a one-off example of how child marriage can go awry, and nobody will really listen to her when there are several examples of good working child marriages in front of their eyes (e.g. lal singh and koyel, or jyoti's own parents, etc. etc. etc.). They have all grown up in child marriages and really see nothing wrong in them. Infact, anandi too might not have seen anything wrong in it, or processed it as an issue if she and jagya had had a happy marriage.

You really MUST read my other posts on child-marriage. Anandi more than anything is the mouth-piece of the CVs and the producers. She is the medium they have chosen to deliver their message against a set of social evils. So when Anandi protests against something, it is not just Anandi as a person, but also the channel, the producers and the CVs.

To hold up gulli as an example or someone else like gulli, is really ridiculous because the parents wont really see any benefit in someone who avoids marriage to become an assistant teacher in a school room in a village...nor was unmarried teacherji a great role model.

Don't you think if more women were shown to be leading successful lives without a male doorpost for support, more women might be encouraged to breakt he shackles of restrictive society. By the way, Teacherji is seen as an ideal and role-model by Anandi. To this day she models her thoughts and actions on what that stalwart lady would have approved of.

Within these cultures, marriage is a form of social protection, since anti-social elements prey on single women.. From this perspective, Jyoti's parents *were* thinking in the best interests of their daughter in terms of settling her in a well-to-do household. Now it may not be the way I would judge the best interest of my daughter, and it may not be the way that someone else would judge the best interest of their daughter ... but it was Jyoti's parents way. In addition, they were not selling her off, they were genuinely interested in seeing her married. (The law makes a distinction when it judges parents by the way -- if it is found that parents were selling her -- then parents are punished under child trafficking and child prostitution acts which can lead up to 10 years of life imprisonment -- but it is found that parents were genuinely marrying the girl -- then penalty is 2 years)

Jyoti is 10 for god's sake. There can be no excuse for that. This is not just a child marriage, this is setting up the child for CSA too. The law makes that distinction when the child is older say 15-16, not a mere babe.

There can be no justification for child marriage whatsoever. It is a heinous crime and will remain so for all intelligent people. No parent has the right to do that to a child. If they do they deserve the worst penalty that society and law together can come up with so that no other parent is ever tempted to emulate their example.

Complex ivory tower notions of how women are to have their own identity and how they have to blossom to their full potential to become teachers and social workers will have no impact on these people. What educated role models have they seen who are both married and successful? None.

And yet you reject Teacherji, Gulli, and Anandi herself as rle models, but still demand that there should be more of such women. Me thinks confusion reigns spreme.

What do they see? -- an unmarried teacherji? an abandoned and divorced anandi? a natha lady phooli with a graduate degree who now is a single mother working in a school? a teenage girl who is an assistant teacher in a school and still not married?

They see 4 women who by rights should've been pitied by society and lived on charity, but instead are social leaders and taking the village to such heights that the government gives the small village the status of a district.

I was traveling somewhere once and the bus broke down. From behind me I heard a 4 yr old exclaim joyously "Look mummy rainbow", I looked at the sky and only saw the harsh sun, and then I looked out the window, by the side of the road there was an open ditch and some oil had floated on the stagnant water, and the effect was that of swirling rainbow colors. What we all saw was a dirty ditch, what that child saw was a beautiful rainbow. We need to select what we see in life - the puddle or the rainbow.

Tomorrow, if jyoti's parents died in a tractor accident somewhere, they would die peacefully knowing that the girl was "settled" rather than still unmarried and orphaned at the mercy of anti social elements.

Mostly that kind of a situation would arise in a western society, in the Indian society, such are the ties of relations that Jyoti would've had families both from her mother's side and from her father's side stepping forward to adopt the child and bring her up. Anyway, that is the silliest argument I've heard for a child marriage. By that token why wait even 10 years, get he child married off the day he/she is born.

Tomorrow, if jyoti's parents let her study and become successful, they need to know that they can find a man for her in their community -- we may say that she can have a love marriage, she may meet someone in her college, -- but from jyoti's parents mentality this may not be acceptable.

When a child is educated, it is not just the child, the child carries that education home, and by slow degrees teaches the parents what they've learned, especially when it comes to social lessons. One needs to see the difference in the attitudes of Gauri's parents from when they first appeared to now to see the difference.

If Jyoti is educated, then she would be getting married to someone who was similarly educated, not an illiterate lout, who is no different from the goons her in-laws brought in the marriage procession. I would be thankful that my daughter is not going to such a family.

If anandi is to be successful in her agenda, she has to stop talking about her own personal story and tailor her marketing strategy in terms of benefits to the parents.

And for those who say that the fear of the law is the most potent medicine against child marriage ...and that parents will be scared because jyoti's parents will be arrested. I disagree. Since this is a serial, it works that way and I respect the storyline.

In real life, it is the other way around, within 48 hours of this, the groom's father would have arranged to have anandi and shiv assassinated (and he would have given these orders from jail). After that sarpanches, and district collectors would be scared to interfere in child marriages.

Dont you see IPS officers, and income tax officers being murdered in India? A handful of people who are really committed to the cause may give their life for it ... but other government officials may just prefer to turn a blind eye rather than take on the wrath of anti-social elements on themselves and their families.

And yet everyday more and more of them step forward to fight the menace. You should really read the excellent post earlier about how Sati was arrested in India. Don't see the puddle, see the rainbow, that is all we are all striving to fight for.

Originally posted by: katts

Definitly Jagya must be prosecuted!! But our Anandi is blaming "bal vivah" for his actions..kya kare...

Originally posted by: katts

Definitly Jagya must be prosecuted!! But our Anandi is blaming "bal vivah" for his actions..kya kare...

Originally posted by: tinoo

Balvivah can be used to the extent that he fell in love with gauri and decided that his adult preferences were different. Okay fine fair enough.

It cannot be used to shield him from his subsequent behaviour of getting married without informing anandi, not making any arrangements for alimony, not caring about her future etc. It cannot be used to excuse his subsequent indecent behaviour of walking in hand in hand with gauri not caring that anandi was still there.

And on what grounds did he justify his marriage to gauri -- remember he told dadisa "this is the girl you chose for me in my childhood, which is why i remarried her; you made me put sindoor in her hair and you "... so he seemed quite okay with balvivah with gauri. As if the adult marriage with gauri was to legitimize his child marriage with gauri which dadisa had solemnized.

Jagya did not even have the courage of conviction to take ownership of his decision saying "I met this girl in college and have decided that she is the most compatible life parther for me through an adult decision" 😡

After this if anandi still says jagya is the victim of balvivah then i dont know what to say 🤢

spineless bas***d. felt like giving him a good kick then and there.

Originally posted by: surabhi01

i think with in 3 weeks jagya will get punishment for his deed

Originally posted by: tinoo

chitrashi -- I *have* replied to you on page 25. please look - fourth post is addressed to you.