What is wrong with gauri's POV?

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753037

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Posted: 13 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: hooked
Gauri loves financial security only. And that's coz lack of finance has been the root cause of her problems and the bane of her life.

So in everything in life, and in every relation - she will be going for the money. Till they were getting it form Jaitser - she was fine with Jagya. Now that they aren't all of a sudden her love for Jagya seems to have evaporated. Now she only sees that he is not motivated and not working. She never saw earlier too that he is a good-times-guy only. He escapes anytime things get a bit rough. But earlier she was able to find all sorts of excuses for his behaviour and thought he was just a bechara guy tied down to a ganwar too early by his backward parents and she alone understood his angst. But now - I guess - its all of a sudden okay to turn around and call him lazy and useless and unmotivated and MCP and everything.

Very convenient. J was the same earlier and he is the same today too. What seems to have changed is what he came with . He came with a fat monthly allowance earlier and now he has none - and that was ENOUGH to change their saccha pyaar 😆

Exactly my points Hooked!!!

Here Gauri should not be compared to the regular working women who have a nagging husband sitting at home doing nothing! She is a mistress who played huge role in Jagat's life.

She had been with Jagat for 6 years..and claims to be his ideal wife. How did her Bhola Bhala Jagat suddenly become an MCP? He had actually been good to her...much much better than the person he actually was! He was shown doing the house work many times. Now he is in a lost state...and Gauri has played her role in it!!! She cares a hoot for his feelings while claiming to be his saccha pyar! It had hardly been a month since she started working and she already started showing attitude! She had been talking like Jagat was forever dependent on her...and will be forever dependent on her!!

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sonali_dg

@sonali_dg

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#42

On these lines and opinions of many .. I'd like to share my personal bit..

I used to have a boyfriend whose every hair follicle radiated EGO ego and more ego..He was an Engineer .. intelligent. He took his life way too easy.. flunked a year.. had tons of backlog's.. slowly fell into bad company .. smoking.. drinking and finally drugs too... I silently put up with it...

I was the gold medalist in my batch..soon..I was having a great job...(later I did my executive MBA from Harvard as well)... He wanted me to migrate with him to Europe...ditching all the success I achieved. On what basis? He did a part time 10 Euro/ hr job in the weekends.. I agreed too..applied for a job in his country and got too.. but his ego was sooo huge.. If I got an award from my company... he'd make smirking comments about it.. he'd never participate in any of my social circles.. find problems with every friend of mine..I could afford a luxury sedan.. he insisted I travel in crap trains because he couldn't afford one.. I pampered his male ego.. He couldn't stick to one job more than a few months... everybody somehow targeted only him! Apart from all that.. even culturally.. he expected me to do all that his mom did.. he was a conservative brahmin...wanted me to follow some shocking rituals like taking bath and wearing completely wet clothes and cooking food before sunrise...

Jagat and Gauri.. reminded me those old days..phew! 😆

Edited by sonali_dg - 13 years ago

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NoOne12

@NoOne12

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: surabhi01
koi baat nahi tinoo sng mein kaam karna koi buri baat nahi hai pur gauri sacche pyar ke liye apne favourate hospital ka sacrifice nahi kar sakti aur bangaore jaaker na to jagya ke saath reh sakti hai aur na kisi doosre hospital mein kaam kur sakti hai that means her love is totally fake

no surabhi, though I am an Anandi fan, I wouldn't approve Gauri leaving her job. Only that i wish she is more sensitive and stops taunting him about not doing MS and making him feel inferior. She can instead motivate him and make him realize this to be a phase.

DS was right Gauri doesn't have the patience. MS ke liye jaldi karne ki kya zaroorat thi? He would have given his paper. Aise hi dean ke paas bej diya...even before in her impatience she shouted at the dean ruining Jagiya's chances. ( but I have no symphathy for him. Let him suffer)

Right now Jagiya is in trouble thats why Gauri is behaving this way. Wonder what will happen when somethng goes wrong in her life. Will she have the patience to handle it or expect changes overnight. Sometimes you have to go through the bad phase...

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: sonali_dg
I think gauri tolerated his crap enough for 6 odd years.. why should she tolerate any more of it..

If you think she was TOLERATING him - what was stopping her from walking out a long way back ? Where was she forced to stick to him ? She has been fighting his family tooth and nail and been showing that he means everything to her. Nobody wud fight so hard to keep something they have to actually bear with as a punishment or as u said - tolerate.

I think what made staying with him sweet was the funds his Bapusa was providing so far. G had her own BP for her share and he had his own. All these guys did for 5 yrs was do their MBBS in respective hostels. No one had to tolerate anyone then. Only in their past 2 MS years have they actually stayed together and kept house. And in this much time too - funds were there for both of them plus her mom and KundaTai were keeping house.

Problem began ever since Bhairon shut off her funds after she finished her MS. Be fair about it !

As soon as she realized try as she might - Bhairon was not going to budge - she started lying to Jagya and scheming to steal him form his fmaily thinking they will never disinherit him. But now that her latest ploy in getting him to ask for his share failed - she sees no use in being with him. Jagya can be a lazy bum YES - but he has NO CLUE as yet - that he was wanted only for his Bapusa's funds !!

All of a sudden - Jagya has gone from a prize catch to a stale fish that's stinking her house. 😉. How fickle ! 😆

Edited by hooked - 13 years ago

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sonali_dg

@sonali_dg

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: intruderfast
i really dont understand when someone posts anything logical yeh fan wars kyun start ho jaate hain😕 reg tinoo she has criticised gauri many times , but this time jagat is wrong and gauri is right apne fandom se baahr nikaliye aur thodi logical thinking laayiye dimag mein
no doubt ur anandi is devi and gauri is nothing compared to her vut this post is not abt that

Aye Dhokle.. 😆 Dimag ka trade kaisa chal raha hai??😆

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731627

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#46

to main kahaan keh rahi hoon ki use job chodna chahiye pur aaj yeh saabit hota hai ki uska pyaar fake hai

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woman11

@woman11

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#47

tinoo

There is nothing wrong with Gauri's attitude per se. Jagat needs to be kicked in his a** for being a scumbag. However, things are a little complex when two people are in a marriage.

There are three approaches to dealing with a husband like Jagat.

Approach 1: Gauri's approach:
Just give a damn. Live your own life and let the problematic spouse fend for himself and deal with his own problems. Each to one's own. This is exactly the attitude that Gauri has---she looks after her own interest first, does not compromise a bit, reminds Jagat of his actual position and is pretty ballistic in her approach. While this approach retains the woman's position intact, this cannot work out a healthy marriage.

Approach 2: Anandi's approach.
Just accept subservience to an abusive spouse. Do whatever he wants, never challenge him, never contest him but just keep sacrificing oneself to the tantrums of the problematic spouse. The male spouse will always have an upper hand and the wife is supposed to play the second fiddle. This approach undermines the woman's position severely and cannot work out a healthy marriage either.

Approach 3: A more mature approach.
When one spouse is going through a rough phase and behaving rudely, try to be patient with him. Try to comfort him instead of reminding him repeatedly of his own failure, try to mellow down your own happiness and excitement just to give company to the spouse in pits. The best thing is to talk and communicate, instead of blowing off the lid. If the spouse is by nature not oppressive to you, chances are he is going to calm down eventually and appreciate the xtra care and sensitivity you showed him in his bad days. That doesn't mean the woman needs to tolerate abuse or attack by the spouse; it just means helping the spouse of his bad phase, even if he appears not in his nicest shelf and is throwing tantrums.

No matter what the reason, Jagat is going through a rough phase where he feels more cranky and impatient than ususal. As a mature wife, Gauri could have avoided beating her own drums and celebrating her own success; gloating in self-pride and reminding Jagat repeatedly of her own achievements; constantly harping on the difference between herself and Jagat; being a little obvious that she is the earning member and the queen of her own wishes.

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sonali_dg

@sonali_dg

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: hooked

If you think she was TOLERATING him - what was stopping her from walking out a long way back ? Where was she forced to stick to him ? She has been fighting his family tooth and nail and been showing that he means everything to her. Nobody wud fight so hard to keep something they have to actually bear with as a punishment or as u said - tolerate.

I think what made staying with him sweet was the funds his Bapusa was providing so far. G had her own BP for her share and he had his own. All these guys did for 5 yrs was do their MBBS in respective hostels. No one had to tolerate anyone then. Only in their past 2 MS years have they actually stayed together and kept house. And in this much time too - funds were there for both of them plus her mom and KundaTai were keeping house.

Problem began ever since Bhairon shut off her funds after she finished her MS. Be fair about it !

As soon as she realized try as she might - Bhairon was not going to budge - she started lying to Jagya and scheming to steal him form his fmaily thinking they will never disinherit him. But now that her latest ploy in getting him to ask for his share failed - she sees no use in being with him. Jagya can be a lazy bum YES - but he has NO CLUE as yet - that he was wanted only for his Bapusa's funds !!

All of a sudden - Jagya has gone from a prize catch to a stale fish that's stinking her house. 😉. How fickle ! 😆

Actually I agree.. 😆 My bad.. she didn't tolerate him. But she's having have to now!! There was definitely love between both these losers apart from commercial benefits.. ! Now that benefits have stopped empty vessels are banging each others head and making more noise.. !

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Anmol Jain

@intruderfast

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: sonali_dg
On these lines and opinions of many .. I'd like to share my personal bit..

I used to have a boyfriend whose every hair follicle radiated EGO ego and more ego..He was an Engineer .. intelligent. He took his life way too easy.. flunked a year.. had tons of backlog's.. slowly fell into bad company .. smoking.. drinking and finally drugs too... I silently put up with it...

I was the gold medalist in my batch..soon..I was having a great job...(later I did my executive MBA from Harvard as well)... He wanted me to migrate with him to Europe...ditching all the success I achieved. On what basis? He did a part time 10 Euro/ hr job in the weekends.. I agreed too..applied for a job in his country and got too.. but his ego was sooo huge.. If I got an award from my company... he'd make smirking comments about it.. he'd never participate in any of my social circles.. find problems with every friend of mine..I could afford a luxury sedan.. he insisted I travel in crap trains because he couldn't afford one.. I pampered his male ego.. He couldn't stick to one job more than a few months... everybody somehow targeted only him! Apart from all that.. even culturally.. he expected me to do all that his mom did.. he was a conservative brahmin...wanted me to follow some shocking rituals like taking bath and wearing completely wet clothes and cooking food before sunrise...

Jagat and Gauri.. reminded me those old days..phew! 😆

oh god yeh sab hua tha tere saath no doubt tu anandi devi kii itnii bhadi fan hain🤣

tell me end mein uss jerk ko thappad maara ki nahin , nahin maara toh mein maarunga

oye tuune harvard se mba kiya yaa haridwar se sach sach bata😲🤣

Edited by intruderfast - 13 years ago

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#50

Originally posted by: sonali_dg
On these lines and opinions of many .. I'd like to share my personal bit..

I used to have a boyfriend whose every hair follicle radiated EGO ego and more ego..He was an Engineer .. intelligent. He took his life way too easy.. flunked a year.. had tons of backlog's.. slowly fell into bad company .. smoking.. drinking and finally drugs too... I silently put up with it...

I was the gold medalist in my batch..soon..I was having a great job...(later I did my executive MBA from Harvard as well)... He wanted me to migrate with him to Europe...ditching all the success I achieved. On what basis? He did a part time 10 Euro/ hr job in the weekends.. I agreed too..applied for a job in his country and got too.. but his ego was sooo huge.. If I got an award from my company... he'd make smirking comments about it.. he'd never participate in any of my social circles.. find problems with every friend of mine..I could afford a luxury sedan.. he insisted I travel in crap trains because he couldn't afford one.. I pampered his male ego.. He couldn't stick to one job more than a few months... everybody somehow targeted only him! Apart from all that.. even culturally.. he expected me to do all that his mom did.. he was a conservative brahmin...wanted me to follow some shocking rituals like taking bath and wearing completely wet clothes and cooking food before sunrise...

Jagat and Gauri.. reminded me those old days..phew! 😆

Ouch !

I take back everything I said in support of Jagya but for you only. This then has to bring back horrible deja vus !!😲

How cud you put up with all that ? I guess it must really have been Saccha pyaar in your case 😳. Am so glad you finally had enough and got out of it. Have seen my closest friend in a similar abusive relationship - she managed her job and the house and the kid and her in-laws and last but not the last his huge EGO and he always had issues at work and wud just leave a job every 6 months and waste another 6 months at home watching TV and being an ass.

I used to wonder how she does it all and why does she still find him worth loving .

Am really glad you got away - it cudn't have been easy but you still have your sense of humor - so you must be fine 😛