Does profesnl success compensate for personal loss

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Posted: 13 years ago

#51

If she feels like acting self-piteous, no one is gonna beg her to stop. But soon she'd be finding that she can run, she can hide, but she can't escape the fact.That she is educated with the money of Bhairon Singh.

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sreevask

@sreevask

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#52

Originally posted by: tinoo

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Yes, brilliant!

she only pays the 'what if' game and looks at her past with unhappiness -- there are so many potential 'what ifs' that have not happened to her that could have - such as bhairon having her arrested etc. or anandi filing a case against her and jagya etc. etc.

yes, in these bhairon really has done an ehsaan by nottaking legal/police action.

<div>i didnt think of this sreevask. thanks for giving a "broader perspective"

Dear tinoo,

Iam happy that my post could not be quoted full(censored) & a response was prepared based on
this incomplete perception(half-knowledge)of my post itself,...and double happy for keeping "broader perspective "in mind...

Unfortunately the what ifs that I had posted were based on capitalist perspective...NOT on "broader perspective"as you might have pained urself in perceiving the post...

If BHAIRON also starts thinking like Gouri,where could she be now?

Hence my request to those who takes too much pity on Gauri & always have issues with Anandi...to ponder this on..

Before asking "why gratitude?", we should be ready to face "why generousity?"

Lambs should always be grateful to Lions ...as long as they were allowed to breath...

Edited by sreevask - 13 years ago

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sreevask

@sreevask

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#53

Originally posted by: bips

You hit the nail on the head ... she needs professional help ... I feel really bad that they have destroyed gauri's character to such extent ... before they showcased her insecurities perfectly ... she would question jagat, question herself ... but now they have made her and out-an-out negative character ... rubbish the way storyline is moving! ... gauri is now pure evil and anandi is the cure for everything and all-knowing ... a little balance please

Dear bips,
Iam referring to "a little balance "...
First of all we need to be clear what we are expecting out of our actions... Be it serial / IF/ any other... As far as the serial is concerned,we can not change the story line & thus it is no use in judging it as rubbish..etc.,as u always have the freedom to opt out to watch...
What can we at the best do is to learn from the given situations ..& work out the best possible solution as per the given conditions /scenario ...
Any other option ...like judging the story / forum/ person/ world will be no use to us...
Coming to Gauri's case...
Have you ever compared the status of Anandi & Gauri ?...
Gauri has education, loving husband,self sustainability,
While Anandi is just a Zero if BHAIRON did not choose to look her after..even she did not have a son to look after her in the future..like Phooli n Gauri ..after BHAIRON & her parents die, what should Anandi do? Where to go?

Still, Anandi did never Opt for the psycho path of Gauri such as blaming the world,arresting 'em(JG),... & sincerely making every effort to be some one in the society,... As well as helping troubled people like Phooli like u know abou ben adham ...If at all GOD is there ..he must help Anandi only ... Other wise Anandi has to lead a miserable life like a public prostitute(deva dasi)
What else Gauri needs for her life?..
God is so mercy that he had given every thing & a fanfare like you...

In the present scenario,if Gauri can not live contented & prefer emotional turbulence ,she must be saved by a professional counseling by psychiatrist ...to change HER mindset NOT the world...as the root cause of every problem lies inside never outside...

Edited by sreevask - 13 years ago

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tanvismile

@tanvismile

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#54

Originally posted by: woman11

No rape is not only the loss of honor in society, it is a much more serious violence and a much more intense trauma that cannot be compared with anything. It is just not "izzat chali jana", that's how the stupid movies and the serials ignorantly portray rape, in reality, it is a much more damaging experience for the victims. And Gauri's case is no way close to rape. Maybe you should read up a little bit about the perspective of the rape victims and the various discourses about rape before making such sweeping comments. Please do not make such superficial statements about rape------it is extremely offensive for people who understand the gravity of rape to see the term being thrown around like this.

sorry for using the term ,and i dont need to read to up anything about it.may i could have used some other word or example ,but i just went with the example which tinno stated.its true gauri is not anywhere close to rape victim but loss of honor in nothing less.we have seen how people treated the lady and called a dayan ,lady even lost her mental balance due to all this ,a life where u are left and or treated badly by the society specialy in villages is very difficult to live.its like a curse .At least in city we all are messed up ,busy in our lives that we dont have the time to engage in such things.but villages ,its impossible ,we are blaming gauri s parents for the upbringing but what they also do when people taunt them ,every now and them they are made to remember that incident which they dont want to.whan gauri goes to school ,no one would talk to her ,no friends,when her parents move out ,they also face the same ,its true that she got a chance to study but thats the only need of an individual ,when children play in school she also must be feeling like playing with them,but they dont want her company,so her only task take a book ,lock her self inside the room and her study.every moment when people rejected her,she must have cried,heart must have filled with anger,must have broken emotionaly .when she became a doctor ,her parents talked about marriage ,the way she cried ,one can make out that she is behaving as if the incident hapened yesterday only becoz she never forgot it,may be the only time she was happy was mumbai life.and thats what we saw.May be if we had seen her earlier life then we would understand it better.in hindi it is said gav abhi tak bhara nahi ,so thats why forgiveness is not coming out of her heart.gratitude to dur ki bat hai.shayad if now she was accepted by the family may be she would have reacted differently.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#55

the term 'gratitude' to me signifies needless indebtedness to someone. therefore, i see it as demeaning.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#56

even if gauri faced nothing, and her parents are the people who faced the problems, I dont think that gauri needs to separate herself from what her parents endured. Their pain is also her pain.

I mean if my parents faced something because of a person several years ago, i dont think it obligates me to be nice to the person just because i am now educated and should have a different perspective on the situation.

There is nothing wrong if gauri co-opts her parents pain as her own is there?

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sreevask

@sreevask

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#57

Originally posted by: tinoo
the term 'gratitude' to me signifies needless indebtedness to someone. therefore, i see it as demeaning.

Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~

vide [ http://zenhabits.net/why-living-a-life-of-gratitude-can-make-you-happy/ ]

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sreevask

@sreevask

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#58

Originally posted by: tinoo
even if gauri faced nothing, and her parents are the people who faced the problems, I dont think that gauri needs to separate herself from what her parents endured. Their pain is also her pain.

I mean if my parents faced something because of a person several years ago, i dont think it obligates me to be nice to the person just because i am now educated and should have a different perspective on the situation.

There is nothing wrong if gauri co-opts her parents pain as her own is there?

Forget what the world thinks ...as long as you are so happy by seeing gauri blaming the world that pacifies n ameliorates her psychological turbulence,...fine ... there are no issues no?

Now what else? will it be finer if she takes up a revenge path & kills all of them?will you be happy then?

WHO BEGGED GRATITUDE FROM HER?

In Japanese language there is a term -- on. The meaning of on often includes a sense of gratitude combined with a desire to repay others for what we have been given. It's not just that we feel grateful, or that we express our gratitude, but that we actually experience a sincere desire to give something back. We might think of it as appreciation that stimulates a sense of obligation. Not an externally imposed obligation. But a sense of obligation that arises naturally within us as we recognize how we have been supported and cared for by others.

Seven Principles for Cultivating Gratitude

By Gregg Krech

Gratitude is independent of one's objective life circumstances;
Gratitude is a function of attention;
Entitlement makes gratitude impossible;
When we continue to receive something on a regular basis, we typically begin to take it for granted;
Our deepest sense of gratitude comes through grace -- the awareness that we have not earned, nor do we deserve what we have been given;
Gratitude can be cultivated through sincere self-reflection; and
The expression of gratitude (through words and deeds) has the affect of heightening our personal experience of gratitude.

Expressing Gratitude is Transformative

" Expressing gratitude is transformative, just as transformative as expressing complaint. Imagine an experiment involving two people. One is asked to spend ten minutes each morning and evening expressing gratitude (there is always something to be grateful for), while the other is asked to spend the same amount of time practicing complaining (there is, after all, always something to complain about). One of the subjects is saying things like, "I hate my job. I can't stand this apartment. Why can't I make enough money? My spouse doesn't get along with me. That dog next door never stops barking and I just can't stand this neighborhood." The other is saying things like, "I'm really grateful for the opportunity to work; there are so many people these days who can't even find a job. And I'm sure grateful for my health. What a gorgeous day; I really like this fall breeze." They do this experiment for a year. Guaranteed, at the end of that year the person practicing complaining will have deeply reaffirmed all his negative "stuff" rather than having let it go, while the one practicing gratitude will be a very grateful person. . . Expressing gratitude can, indeed, change our way of seeing ourselves and the world."
-Roshi John Daido Loori

Edited by sreevask - 13 years ago

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tanvismile

@tanvismile

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#59

Its not about way of looking life but about how deeply one has been hurt ,its about forgiveness which should come from within.gauri and her parents have been deeply hurt ,in hindi it is said "gav nasur ban zate hai "and gauri and her pain have become like that.Like i have said ul havnt seen her sufering so ur way of looking at her might be different .ul havnt seen the years of pain she and her family went through.childhood is a time we cannot forget.ul have seen laughing,joyful ,fun loving gauri at mumbai ,thats y we dont realise their pain .

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#60

Originally posted by: tanvismile
Its not about way of looking life but about how deeply one has been hurt ,its about forgiveness which should come from within.gauri and her parents have been deeply hurt ,in hindi it is said "gav nasur ban zate hai "and gauri and her pain have become like that.Like i have said ul havnt seen her sufering so ur way of looking at her might be different .ul havnt seen the years of pain she and her family went through.childhood is a time we cannot forget.ul have seen laughing,joyful ,fun loving gauri at mumbai ,thats y we dont realise their pain .

yes i agree. for those who say that gauri has not really suffered any loss in childhood because she never had any relationship with jagya then -- i am not saying that she suffered a relationship loss but she did suffer public humiliation. That is her loss -- the blow to her self esteem. At the time, yes, she was happy when it didnt go through -- but she had no idea of the aftermath that would follow.

Because of her unhappiness with the circumstances that followed on her family, she may indeed have begun to wish that becoming the second-beendhni of jagya was the lesser of the two evils (being second haveli beendhni vs. not being a child bride) -- atleast that way, her parents would have been spared humiliation.

also, i think that obligation is not just monetary (economic) -- there is also psychological obligation, social obligation (where the person feels obligated whether the benefactor asks for it or not).

even if she sets up a payment plan to repay bhairon and over the course of tiem repays him, the psychological obligation (within her own mind) will always be there. Until now there has been a sense of self-achievement.

i dont fault bhairon for his funding her.

i do fault bade papa for telling her at this late date -- if he had to tell her, he should have given her a choice when she turned 18 to accept bhairons money or not. otherwise there is no point in revealing this to her now.

if he had to cut off relations with her, all he had to do was say that he had heard from someone in jayetsar that she had married the same child groom and there was an anandi in the picture, and he disapproved and cut her off. where was the need to bring in bhairon singh's funding now and that too in this conversation? how does it relate to the reason for cutting her off?

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Does profesnl success compensate for personal loss - Page 6

Seven Principles for Cultivating Gratitude

Expressing Gratitude is Transformative

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