Does profesnl success compensate for personal loss

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#31

Please dont get me wrong -- I think the issue is not bhairon giving the money.

The real issue is that gauri at age 18 (when she became an adult) -- should have been consulted about accepting money from bhairon for her education -- and any acceptance of funds thereafter should have happened with her express consent.

The decision should have been hers -- and she should have been the one to decide that of all the options available to her this was the best option.

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Missesha

@Missesha

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#32

@ Tinoo... Nice topic...

I would only say one thing; sometimes fatal mistakes happen in life and we cannot change them no matter how hard we try. We can only try to move from that bad memory to see a better life.

If from Gauri's point of view Singh's ruined her life, let it be. But she did get an opportunity to move on with life. she could not change her past but she could have a chosen a better future, married a nicer guy and had a settled life. (Doesn't matter who paid for her education, atleast someone did and helped her)

We also say that ' whatever happens, happend for good'

If J-G child marriage was not broken, then G would have never got this opportunity to study ( she always wanted to study) so because of something bad something good happened to her.

Also if singh's didn't fund for her education and left her to rot (the way G thinks) then what would be her life? Or say if they accpted G as a child bride and then made her to be a Ganwaar beendni, wouldn't J dump her on growing up? Who would be a fault then?

Other women like Sugna, Gehna, Phooli and now Anandi have experienced more horrifying past than G and have suffered a lot more, but they all chose to move on at some point and hence happy.

I think Like Suchi and Antara said, G is an example of bad parenting and she is only taking out her parent's grudge on Singhs.

Gauri may not necessarily thank Singhs, but its no point screaming at them.

Edited by Missesha - 13 years ago

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Missesha

@Missesha

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#33

By my above post I don't mean to say that every criminal can make a crime and compensate for it monetarily, but I am only trying to say, if life gives you a second chance you should embrace it and move on with it.

Bitter memories will not be washed away but a better life can definately bring more happiness.

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dolly

@tiny15

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: Missesha
By my above post I don't mean to say that every criminal can make a crime and compensate for it monetarily, but I am only trying to say, if life gives you a second chance you should embrace it and move on with it.

Bitter memories will not be washed away but a better life can definately bring more happiness.

v.well said!!this doesn't mean any criminal does crime & then pay money like sum of v.rich ppl & politician always do!!

and here we've 2 see the intention of the help bcoz i believe that our action's consequences r so vast that we can't predict the future so its only intention which makes the deed & doer as gud!!like sumtimes in arranged marriages parents chose spouses 4 their children v.carefully liek taking in considern status, educn, job, values of family etc. but still there gals & sumtimes boys hav 2 suffer bcoz of sum cahnges. but does it make parent's decision as wrong?? no bcoz wen they thot abt it they've intention of seeing their children happiy married life!!!

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#35

For me the terms "grateful" and "gratitude" imply a feeling of "having been given more than one deserved" -- and this is what i take issue with.

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496295

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#36

Tinoo---why do you feel it is self-demeaning or degrading to feel "Gratitude"? As much as it might be difficult for Gauri and some viewers to digest, Bhairon HAS changed her life. And not in any patronizing manner, too.. Gauri should ideally put herself in his shoes and think---What should I do if I were in Bhairon's situation?

Besides, it's extremely immature of her to feel that her achievements are Bhairon's amanat. He just provided the money, not her brains. By this line of thinking, it would tantamount to discrediting the success of millions of underprivileged children all over the world who complete their education by funding from some Charitable institution or any kindly individual. She should try and get it firmly into her that BHAIRON WASN'T—WAS NOT in any way responsible for what she went through in childhood. Then she should, like I said, put herself in his place. That will give her the peace of mind she's craving for.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: sayali_babes

Besides, it's extremely immature of her to feel that her achievements are Bhairon's amanat. He just provided the money, not her brains.

sayali babes, This is brilliant 👏👏👏👏👏👏.

This is the answer I was looking for and it clicked with me the way you articulated it.

Yes, Bhairon just did the action.

She (Gauri) is the one responsible for giving meaning to the action and dumbing down herself and her own part in her achievement and crying about it.

Thank you!!

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sreevask

@sreevask

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#38

Gratitude is a term u can find nowhere in the dictionaries of a capitalist.
All the relationships are monetary in nature..(courtesy Das capital by Karl Marx)
western conditioning of mindset views love as a physical process..
Unless we prepare ourselves ready to wear off these colored glasses,we are blind to vedic vision that has the broadest boundless perspective.researched for attaining the eternal bliss for mankind...
Extending on these lines ...
1)what can Gauri do if BHAIRON doesn't send money at all?
2)what can Gauri do if they got her jailed ?(in fact BHAIRON was stopped by A)
3)what can Gauri do if they behave like Heth singh...get her kidnapped & kill her to bring J back ?
4)what can Anandi do if BHAIRON throws her away as soon as his son denies her?

Edited by sreevask - 13 years ago

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: sayali_babes

Tinoo---why do you feel it is self-demeaning or degrading to feel "Gratitude"?

Good question! I dont know why it is degrading to feel gratitude. I have to think about it.

I think there is a difference between appreciation and gratitude. The word meaning i think.

Appreciation implies that I deserved something, and so it was done for me.

Gratitude implies that i did not deserve anything or less than what the person did, and consequently i should be very thankful for someone giving me something i did not really deserve.

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496295

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#40

^^ But Gauri deserved it---she was "entitled" to it in a way. Plus, it's kinda useless to cry over "who poured the money"---people are going to go to her for the treatment procedures and knowledge she's mastered by HERSELF. Just like I said, it's her own naturally low self-esteem and insecurity which is making her cry over it now.

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