Originally posted by: annika20
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not upholding superiority of educated girls. Both rural background girls as well as educated or modern girls have their own strengths.
But I am really against character assassination and stereotypical representation of educated girls and even city people in general.
I would have equally protested if they had tried to show that village girls are silly or dumb. I hated Jagya when he used to call Anandi gawar!
I am against bias and stereotyping of ANY kind.
I am not just talking about Gauri's marriage to Jagya. But also her impatient behaviour or shouting at villagers or things like throwing away money given as gift/shagun by DS etc. They stripped her of her sensibility to make Anandi look mahaan and Gauri look like a vamp or really unfit for marriage.
What experience are you talking about? From your post, sorry to say, it seems that child marriage is after all okay, since it gives experience and wisdom over time, from a young age and makes a girl befitting marriage material.
There are majority of women in the world today, who have no experience of marriage. So does it mean they will make bad wives or useless DILs?
I only say repeatedly that they ought to show real issues related to child marriage, actual harsh realities and why people call child marriage a social evil and why the judiciary made it illegal! If it were so simple then it would not be made illegal!
I also protest why they show it only from a woman's POV and why they have ruined character of Jagya. Even boys suffer due to this child marriage thing. Guys as young as 14-15 have a wife and 2-3 kids to look after! Even if they don't have kids, they suffer due to burden of expectations - career, taking care of family, handling marriage etc. from a very young age. Their choices and freedom also gets limited.
But yes boys suffer less than girls. Still they do suffer. And that suffering or problem has not been shown in BV. They've just shown Jagya as another wayward, spoilt boy and made it all look like routine adultery or straying.
I am not saying Anandi is less suitable for Jagya or Gauri is more suited. I only say why make Gauri lose her sense? Especially when she is from the same rural background and has also suffered due to child marriage as a kid? How could she allow her life to be ruined like this? How could she not think about her self respect and buy J's lies and live as a keep? How come she did not consult her family and especially her mentor Bade Papa? She was sensible and nice earlier. Why make her look insane in haveli and village and a total vamp in front of Anandi?
She was not bad or haughty to begin with.
What each and every corner of life has Anandi seen? She has only lived in village. Rarely stepped out of house or gone out of DS', Bhairon's or her parents' gaze. She never even attended school after the age of 9 and whatever education she got, she got it privately and was only allowed to sit for exams. She has had zilch experience of outside world.
She had dreamy notions about life till this reality hit her hard, shook her and made her and the whole Singh family see reality of the world.
Gauri's experiences are not just limited to education, but she also knows harsh realities of life. She was almost sold as a kid to DS, her marriage broke, she was made to suffer all due to DS and her own parents' greed. She's seen life in Mumbai too, living alone, meeting deserted women like Kunda Tai etc.
Experience is not just limited to home, it also includes the world and includes experience of harsh realities too.
And what LACK of experience are you talking about? You mean she needed prior experience of married life for this? Sir/madam, she has not got betrayed now. She got betrayed in the name of marriage as a kid only. So she knows how it feels when you're rejected or deceived!
It is pitiable that they did not show her use that experience in the sense that she should not let herself be ruined by the same man and same family again.
The way you're talking about Gauri, sorry to say, it feels you think her parents did the wrong thing by giving her freedom and letting her study further or live on her own.
It is beliefs like these - that educated or modern girls are not marriage material, or child marriage gives experience of marriage and trains them to be good wives from a young age, too much freedom need not be given to girls, training a girl to be a beendni is more important than helping her stand on her feet - which this show is propagating now. The nature of ''pro-Anandi'' and basically ''pro-JaAn'' arguments from your side show exactly what I have always tried to say in all my posts in this forum.
They have handled child marriage with kid gloves, never shown its actual gross realities and shown that the only issue they face is underage pregnancy. Rest all, is okay, rather good for family!
They must show at least one child marriage fail in the serial if they are really against child marriage or believe it is a social evil.
How can they show happy child marriages? So it means judiciary made it illegal aise hi? They made laws so that it gets more work for lawyers and gives them rozi roti? For no solid reason? NGOs are still fighting it? Why? Just for timepass or publicity?
Why do you say two like minds cannot stay together? Again distorted view. There are many couples in real life, who are career-oriented, doctors, lawyers, even film stars, tutors, scientists etc. There is Akshay Kumar who has an equally successful interior designer wife Twinkle Khanna. There is example of Marie and Pierre Curie. There are so many examples of husband-wife working for rival companies and still living happily with each other! Even in history we have examples of Jahangir living very happily with wife Noorjahan and letting her take over and see matters of state and politics. How come a fiercely independent and revolutionary minded Manu (Rani Laxmibai), made a wonderful wife to King Gangadhar and an inspirational queen for Jhansi?
What about Narayana and Sudha Murthy? Isn't Sudha Murthy also equally qualified, an academic, a writer, social worker, educator and speaker? I am sure she also has a mind of her own. Or look at equally ambitious, opinionated and individualistic Aamir Khan & Kiran Rao? Aren't they happy as life partners and even as partners in profession?
Many couples, ordinary and famous, in history and real life, in India and other countries are there who are ambitious, career-minded and have a mind of their own. It's not like all their marriages break or are full of khit-pit!
You mean men should always marry a woman who is not ambitious or less educated or is easily subjugated? And women should always marry an easy-going, easy to control man if they are ambitious themselves. [As the aspiring doctor Sarika married a sweetoo and less educated boy in Beendh Banoonga Ghodi Chadhunga show!]
Is Gauri's self respect actually ego? See how she handles uncooperative colleagues, unruly principals or landlords. She is so calm with them, even bends, asks for forgiveness and offers to make extra efforts and commits never to give them a chance to complain again.
She is not a b*tch per se! That is why I was pained to see why they made her behave like crazy when it came to Anandi.
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Don't think I am against Anandi or glorifying or justifying Gauri. I see what Gauri did was wrong. But I only protest why they made her do so, considering her original nature and background.
I am not saying only educated people are great. But don't show them so bad or callous also! It's outright stereotypical.
Please do not take my post personally. But your post exactly showed what stereotypes this show is reinforcing. Sorry if I sound offending.😔
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