Why Anupama is so cruel to Anuj and CA but not Shahs?? - Page 3

Originally posted by: Harish111

You were 100% right when you commented on the problematic comments on education and class.

However, the Anupama hate is NOT because a woman don't love a man. It's because a woman who agreed to get married didn't fulfil the basic responsibilities of marriages, was obsessed with her exes and abandoned an orphan 9 year old kid

Making this a man vs woman issue makes a mockery of genuine gender issue women face in Indian.

Also calling her abusive exes her "mayka", when she actually abandoned her real mom and real mayka who were genuinely in need of money, is hilarious.

Yeah well, it is hard to not see it as a misogyny and classism issue when this platform is filled with jokes about her accent, education, how inexplicible it is that Deepu is attracted to her because 'obviously she is the sexiest woman out there.'

Anupamaa is a bad person because of how she treats the women around her. She is an abuser and enabler. But that is rarely ever called at the altar of she made Anuj pheelz. Well, bah.

She is not treated as a human being at all. She can be a bad human being or a good human being, but she is a human being.

She lost her child and was expected to coddle Anuj's pheelz. Bruh which prick goes around asking the mother of a dead person to make her spouse feel better about himself when she felt like dying herself?

She was a bad mother to all her children. She hasn't fully recovered from her trauma to be a good partner to people. But she has removed herself from the situation, and is trying her best to live her life without bothering god's-gift-NRI. If she has new friends or wants to spend time with her grandkids, I don't see how Anuj's well-wishers get to police her now?

She didn't ask Anuj to dump his parental duty on Shruti and letting Adhya's psychobehaviorial issues to fester. She did not ask him to catfish hot, posh, classy Shruti? She did not ask him to cheat on a perfectly decent person. She did not ask him to not go to therapy post-divorce? Instead of asking after her well-being after a car accident, he decided to assail his wife with complaints. She moved away, inflicted pain on herself and now he is the victim?

• Anyhow

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Yeah well, it is hard to not see it as a misogyny and classism when this platform is filled with jokes about her accent, education, how inexplicible it is that Deepu is attracted to her because 'obviously she is the sexiest woman out there.'

Anupamaa is a bad person because of how she treats the women around her. She is an abuser and enabler. But that is rarely ever called at the altar of she made Anuj pheelz. Well, bah.

She is not treated as a human being at all. She can be a bad human being or a good human being, but she is a human being.

She lost her child and was expected to coddle Anuj's pheelz. Bruh which prick goes around asking the mother of a dead person to make her spouse feel better about himself when she felt like dying herself?

She was a bad mother to all her children. She hasn't fully recovered from her trauma to be a good partner to people. But she has removed herself from the situation, and is trying her best to live her life without bothering god's-gift-NRI. If she has new friends or wants to spend time with her grandkids, I don't see how Anuj's well-wishers get to police her now?

She didn't ask Anuj to dump his parental duty on Shruti and letting Adhya's psychobehaviorial issues to fester. She did not ask him to catfish hot, posh, classy Shruti? She did not ask him to cheat on a perfectly decent person. She did not ask him to not go to therapy post-divorce? Instead of asking after her well-being after a car accident, he decided to assail his wife with complaints. She moved away, inflicted pain on herself and now he is the victim?

Anyhow.

While all of what you said is correct, whatever wrong Anupama did was BEFORE that, and she hasn't learned or repented from it.

It's not easy to go past someone constantly abandoning their loving husband and kid and then finally one day running away.

Abandoning a little orphaned kid is one of the most evil things anyone can do.

Originally posted by: Harish111

While all of what you said is correct, whatever wrong Anupama did was BEFORE that, and she hasn't learned or repented from it.

It's not easy to go past someone constantly abandoning their loving husband and kid and then finally one day running away.

Abandoning a little orphaned kid is one of the most evil things anyone can do.

Man, I dunno how trying to save a toddler and a pregnant who were in the front-seat of a car-accident is seem as abandoning a kid. There are no good parents on the show. And Anupamaa was not a good mother. She moved away. Don't see why she is expected to stay in an incompatible marriage for the sake of a child— setting up further bad examples for the child? Divorces happen, kids get embroiled in shitty custody arrangement. It is the duty of the primary caretaker to ensure a smooth transition for kids so that they are not affected by adult problems precociously. Here the teen is actively trying to control parent's love life. Don't see how that is Upma's fault alone rather than the rich dude who could afford family psychotherapy and yet chose to catfish a woman to deal with his child.

When Pakhi, a 19 year old, was trying to "convince" her parents to stay married or stay under a roof because she needed both parents in her life or when she went with Vanraj to stay with bestie and Vanraj to be able to convince him to return, was she, a teenager, trying yo control, meddle with her parents' married life?

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Man, I dunno how trying to save a toddler and a pregnant who were in the front-seat of a car-accident is seem as abandoning a kid. There are no good parents on the show. And Anupamaa was not a good mother. She moved away. Don't see why she is expected to stay in an incompatible marriage for the sake of a child— setting up further bad examples for the child? Divorces happen, kids get embroiled in shitty custody arrangement. It is the duty of the primary caretaker to ensure a smooth transition for kids so that they are not affected by adult problems precociously. Here the teen is actively trying to control parent's love life. Don't see how that is Upma's fault alone rather than the rich dude who could afford family psychotherapy and yet chose to catfish a woman to deal with his child.

If it was only the car incident neither Anuj nor CA would question her. We all know it. It was constant years of neglect which caused that one moment to have so much impact.

Adopting an orphan kid and then abandoning her because she wanted love and attention is one of the most evil things any character on ITV has done, especially in a country like India where adoption is such a stigma.

Rest are all just consequences of that action.

Originally posted by: --Ruchi--

I can assure you dear that in real life people like Anupama do exist. I have one very close in my family who cares more about others than her own family.

So yeah..we as a family suffer like Anuj and CA. Obviously we do not face grim circumstances like Anupama (accidents, ex sasural as maayka and all)so it's going on okay.

Originally posted by: The_Best

Yeah, even I know real women like Anupama and that too them living in US. That’s why it’s very much understandable why Anupama is a top show because most, if not many, women in India relate with her.

Given that there are women who identify with Anupama, I feel it's all the more important that her shortcomings are highlighted and clear, positive paths are etched for her. To show women like her that there is a possibility of a better, more fulfilling, life beyond the one they find themselves bogged down in. Demonstrating ways and options that could be adopted will be a far stronger message to send out than the random homilies they have the characters spouting out of the blue.

The billionaire dude who married off his sister against her wishes to a shitty Ivy League wife-beating frat boy is the epitome of why IIM-bred sophistication and 'couthness' no less. The billionaire dude who is catfishing another sophisticated "upper class" woman so that he doesn't have to do the emotional labour of parenting alone!

How can a poor woman who was married off as a teen and abused for most of her life ever match his adab and sanskars and sophistication. How can she evet deserve to marry someone like him, my lord.

Originally posted by: Arshi67

Given that there are women who identify with Anupama, I feel it's all the more important that her shortcomings are highlighted and clear, positive paths are etched for her. To show women like her that there is a possibility of a better, more fulfilling, life beyond the one they find themselves bogged down in. Demonstrating ways and options that could be adopted will be a far stronger message to send out than the random homilies they have the characters spouting out of the blue.

Her shortcomings are not her class or accent or clothes or body image. Those are her social positioning. Attacking a fictional character for those reflects social prejudice. Men are called emasculated and simps for being attracted to her. How is that not misogyny? What is so offensive and emasculating in YD developing a crush on her (if we ignore the boss-employee dynamic as we ignore Anuj's three-decades-long obsession as love)? How is she responsible for Anuj's trash behaviour, is she his mother?

Her rich husband and rich friend could very well afford and compel her to go to therapy, or just reinforce the need to recognise her codependency on her abusers. But no! We will blame the victim of decades of abuse and gaslighting for being attached to the shitty people she literally grew up with. We would ask her to prioritise her mahaan second husband's fragile phleez over her own need to mourn her child's death.

Men just expect women to put up with their shitty families because sanskar, sasural, sanskriti. Every itv show is about the barely legal FL's journey to be a good bahu, and every fandom defends abusive behaviour and expects the FL to stick around for turu lobh and kemistreee. Men are always centred in women's lives.

This show clicks because it sends the same mixed signals that society sends to women. And fails because the protagonist turns out to be an abusive and manipulative saas to her own bahus.

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

The billionaire dude who married off his sister against her wishes to a shitty Ivy League wife-beating frat boy is the epitome of why IIM-bred sophistication and 'couthness' no less. The billionaire dude who is catfishing another sophisticated "upper class" woman so that he doesn't have to do the emotional labour of parenting alone!

How can a poor woman who was married off as a teen and abused for most of her life ever match his adab and sanskars and sophistication. How can she evet deserve to marry someone like him, my lord.

Which means that poor woman should abandon an orphaned child she adopted who just wanted her love and attention and run away.

And if you call that out, you are just sexist.