The writers suck. - Page 7

Originally posted by: Aarz00_19

Extremely well said. Plus Toshu and pakhi being his favourite , if anupama would have slapped them ,vanraj would have made her life hell.

You know that hitting children is neither morally right nor a means (and certainly not an effective means) of disciplining children? If she saw that two of her children were being abosolutely ruined by the Shahs then, as a mother, it was her responsibility to remove all of her children from such a toxic environment. She was the adult, after all.

Let's say Samar turned out great because of Anupamaa's influence, did she stand up to Vanraj on his behalf to not call him a loser? As a mother? Even if she had internalised abuse as a wife?

Let's even flip that, say, Samar turned out great because he got to spend more time with her and Toshu-Pakhi did not because they were Vanraj's favourites. Certainly favouritism makes one a terrible father. Did Anupama recognise it and try to prevent her other two children from becoming trash human beings? No, she continues to hold Vanraj to be a great parent despite the fact that he's emotionally abused Samar for years and practically prevented Pakhi Toshu from building any sort of character.

Originally posted by: Deltablues

You know that hitting children is neither morally right nor a means (and certainly not an effective means) of disciplining children? If she saw that two of her children were being abosolutely ruined by the Shahs then, as a mother, it was her responsibility to remove all of her children from such a toxic environment. She was the adult, after all.

Let's say Samar turned out great because of Anupamaa's influence, did she stand up to Vanraj on his behalf to not call him a loser? As a mother? Even if she had internalised abuse as a wife?

Let's even flip that, say, Samar turned out great because he got to spend more time with her and Toshu-Pakhi did not because they were Vanraj's favourites. Certainly favouritism makes one a terrible father. Did Anupama recognise it and try to prevent her other two children from becoming trash human beings? No, she continues to hold Vanraj to be a great parent despite the fact that he's emotionally abused Samar for years and practically prevented Pakhi Toshu from building any sort of character.

I also don’t encourage hitting children, but taking them out of a toxic environment. However, an adult can only do that if she/he has the means to live independently and raise the kids financially. Vanraj was the breadwinner in the family. Anupama did not have a job and was not worldly to get one until now. She also lives in a country that is just getting used to divorces and other relationships. So, in the 90s it was hard for her to get out of a bad marriage. Also, at that time, she internalized her husband’s abuse and thought his anger was out of love or a bad day at work. This is was taught (may still be teaching)women-to suffer, sacrifice and stay mum.

I agree now that she is married to Anuj, she should leave the Shah family to there own devices. She should only intervene if the situation has to do with her own kids, but only to give advice. Not make decisions for them. The only child she should worry about is Choti Anu since she is a minor. As soon as she is an adult, Anupama and Anuj should guide her, not make decisions unless warranted. This is where Anuj went wrong with Mukku and her first love. Just warn her of what she is getting into and then let her make the decisions for her life. If Mukku made a bad one at least it’s on her. Make sure as parents and guardians to be a helping hand when they do fall.

The writers definitely suck. First they had Vanraj and Baa leave kinjal and baby with Anupama and then they go back to get them and accuse Anupama of interfering! seriously vanraj, you left Kinjal and baby there!

Late reply- took me time to catch up.

I just want to say Anupamaa is a horrible mother to all four of her kids. And she's only been a good wife to Vanraj, and a good daughter to Baa.

And before anyone asks, yes, I have seen all eps from the beginning till the Mukku track, and bits and pieces since. I empathized with and made an effort to understand her for a gooood chunk of the show. Abuse is a hard cycle to break- call it stockholm syndrome, call it learned helplessness, call it an internalized inferiority complex, I got it. I sympathized and rooted for even the smallest joy in her life when she took it.

However, her actions since December cast all her previous behavior in a suspect light. She is a miserable role model for anyone to have. There are literally no two ways to it.