'Another day she stayed silent and her abuser thrived in that silence' - Page 9

Originally posted by: Bol_do

Your post is powerful Sunshine.

Haven't watched the epi yet but will. The thing with IPV (intimate partner violence) is that the physical scars heal but the ones on your psyche remain long after.

Different people experience different after effects but even a comparatively mild drunken episode of mild violence can leave deep shame and disgust with oneself - feelings of "How did I let this happen to me?" This is especially applicable to us the "educated lot" who grow up w these ideals of feminism, feel they will never take shit. And then when it happens the whole subconscious indoctrination into patriarchy, the social normative structure results in feelings of stigma, shame, and pain and makes for a poisonous combination of maintaining the silence. Unfortunately can vouch for it.

Not sure how they ll show Mukku's story but IPV is usually a vicious circle. The abuser either overcompensates and apologises profusely, giving all kinds of excuses, gifts, even gentle lovemaking or blames the victim for "inciting" him. The victim kind of buys into the story esp if v young and inexperienced with relationships. And then the cycle repeats -;violence followed by "make up,". followed by violence. The victim feels unbalanced all the time, treading on eggshells.

The psychological violence Anu was put through was pretty brutal and needs to be called out. Just because Vanraj didn't hit, doesn't lessen her pain.

Hopefully they ll show some nuance in Mukku's case:

1) Why didn't she walk out when it happened first?. She had a supportive family in Anuj and GK.

2) Why didn't she call 911 since in the US unnediate help would have arrived?

3) what personal, interpersonal (w Anuj, the abusive a@#hole) issues prevented her from seeking help?

And yeah ..pls no Vanraj in helping her deal w this. We need to see professional therapy, medication, familial support first AND only then perhaps an Anuj replica kinda romantic partner.

This happens you see

She was just 22-23 at marriage an in experience human in life

She do not know what to do? because hubby saying if you tell brother i will kill you(that dialogue in back ground)

Shes prisoner in that house on mercy of hubby and his family

Before her brother comes what if they kill her shes scared yaar

Karishma kapoor ko aise hi hua

Such big actress but mom forcing stay with him adjust with him pls read her story in google

I know many nris in USA/UK they hit their wife torture none call 911 or scotland yard

Bec of parents fear hubby fear social boycott fear society fear no job no visa no money fear

All these men work for IBM/Microsoft/New York banks etc very educated all studied in big US university all highly educated hain but hit wives black and blue or rape them etc

This is truth what anuj said is truth

In office in silicon valley these men act modern educated sophisticated modern culltured in house its diff story they are hitting wife sister aged parents sab chalta hai ghar main

I saw this on insta ❤️

Ye dekhkar don't you all think that anu also need professional help 😭

Usne bhi bahut kuch saha h use bhi open up hone ki need h

https://www.instagram.com/legend_mother_anupamaa/p/CYePalAlwGw/?utm_medium=copy_link

She did seem to need help but no family member had a clue as to why she was acting weirdly. Devika took her to a cliff and she cried her heart out. I remember the episode vividly.

Originally posted by: Kras1

I saw this on insta ❤️

Ye dekhkar don't you all think that anu also need professional help 😭

Usne bhi bahut kuch saha h use bhi open up hone ki need h

https://www.instagram.com/legend_mother_anupamaa/p/CYePalAlwGw/?utm_medium=copy_link

See here another one. This is the reason why instead of praising the makers, I find them hypocrite with double standards. They are touching sensitive issues only to make money, really they don't care about any social message.

They conveniently ignored DV in case of Anu, brushed it under the carpet..infact they showed her to remain silent and mahaan where she stayed with Shah for family, such a big sacrifice.

Baa and Vanraj both were her abuser but makers forget punishment, actually never even showed them guilty and even called them out openly as abusers ever.

Vanraj is mahaan who earned for family (Shivaratri), poor guy got married to wrong women (actually he himself liked Anu and said yes, as he saw wife in her) and Baa sacrificed for family when they were poor (diwali).

so both baa ladla are entitled to abuse and Anu being mahaan, ideal here when she calls then baa bhagwan and achcha insaan.

And if all this was not enough they added Vanraj again in Mukku track, are showing Anuj as weak due to his guilt. I want this time Anuj only to make Vanraj pay like he did in case of Muku.

If Anupama does, it won't go well because this lady should have done it long back If she had done it in past, vanraj would have thought multiple times before repeating with Kavya and now muku.. so, Anupama is guilty too.

https://twitter.com/AajKiRadha/status/1479839635123499009?s=20

Read the response here, Rupali has silently just acknowledged, she can't control the story, it's not in her hands..

And one more

https://twitter.com/woahh_11/status/1479887836216135685?s=20

I feel Anupama is innocent and too bholi. wo yahi sochti hai ki ye sab poor houses mein hota hai ya phir uneducated women ke saath hota hai. She was shocked jab wo couple lad rahe the and that man was threatening to beat his wife. She said aise bade bade ghar ke log bhi then Anuj face was Anu u r too bholi.

Mujhe Anu ka wo dialogue yaad hai jab resort mein Vanraaj ne kavya par haath uthana chaha tab Anu ne Kavya se kaha tum to independent ho tum kyu haaye bechari ban rahi ho. baat independence ki nahi hai. Ek Independent women bhi kar baar Domestic violence ko face karti hai.

Ye sirf India ki problem nahi whole world ki hai. Mujhe USA mein ek case yaad hai ek working woman ko bhi uske pati ne maara tha tab usne police case kiya police le gayi par ek do din ke baad shayd kisi ke pressure mein aakar case wapas le liya.

Originally posted by: moonwearer

She did seem to need help but no family member had a clue as to why she was acting weirdly. Devika took her to a cliff and she cried her heart out. I remember the episode vividly.

Dear, that was only one time after her marriage..but there were numerous other too. She the one where she has sitting outside house in corner when he had thrown her out of house. She was abused regularly for 25 years, it was not one time when affair came out. He even manhandled her after that.. but so far, she has never called out this behaviour.

No one wants her to keep hatred, talk like normal people, maintain cordial relation, keep decent distance.. but best friends sharing that coffee in office, that baa bapuji wedding planning touch dance, again and again saying not Ghatiya..

.are you serious.. chalo maan liye he will not rape Muku but he can man handle her, talk to her in very bad manner, physically assault her. He has repeated with Kavya too but makers made Kavya also weak.

Originally posted by: Km181

Dear, that was only one time after her marriage..but there were numerous other too. She the one where she has sitting outside house in corner when he had thrown her out of house. She was abused regularly for 25 years, it was not one time when affair came out. He even manhandled her after that.. but so far, she has never called out this behaviour.

No one wants her to keep hatred, talk like normal people, maintain cordial relation, keep decent distance.. but best friends sharing that coffee in office, again and again saying not Ghatiya..

.are you serious.. chalo maan liye he will not rape Muku but he can man handle her, talk to her in very bad manner, physically assault her. He has repeated with Kavya too but makers made Kavya also weak.

I always says that unka divorce only EMA ke kaaran nahi hua usne usko 25 ys tak mentally torture kiya and i think ye EMA was final nail in coffin . Wo hamesha hi Vanraaj se darr kar jeeti thi. aise life ki aap ghar se bahar kadam nahi rakh sakte HELL. I feel ye EMA ne dard diya but ye blessing thi Anu ke liye ki iss wajay se uska DIVORCE ho gaya Vanraaj se.

Yes agreed that Ladla has abused Anupama and manipulated her for years.

It was disgusting to see the way he interacts with Anupama and Anuj asthough he is a sait and even more annoying is the way Anupama interacts with Ladla.

Originally posted by: magicalM

I always says that unka divorce only EMA ke kaaran nahi hua usne usko 25 ys tak mentally torture kiya and i think ye EMA was final nail in coffin . Wo hamesha hi Vanraaj se darr kar jeeti thi. aise life ki aap ghar se bahar kadam nahi rakh sakte HELL. I feel ye EMA ne dard diya but ye blessing thi Anu ke liye ki iss wajay se uska DIVORCE ho gaya Vanraaj se.

Nahi dear.. she always maintain that divorce is only because of EMA... At least I can't recall a single dialogue where she accepted that she was abused.

Yes, we know EMA was blessing in disguise but Anupama has never acknowledged this. She maintains he was not good husband to her because he never loved her and she was not fit for me. Apart from this one point according to her he is ideal - achcha beta, pita, insaan..

Anupama is regressive, has low confidence and believes as long as male is earning for family he is perfect. She never believed in her worth so whenever he abused her she always felt that it was her own fault..

If I still want to believe in Anupama, these are the only probable reason I can think of, behind her still calling Vanraj good human...fact is she is kuaa ka mendak, she hasn't seen the world.

And if this is what makers have in mind.. then this time Anuj should be one telling her this and making Vanraj pay for his deeds.. if Anupama fights Vanraj then it won't make sense to me.

Originally posted by: moonwearer

Yes agreed that Ladla has abused Anupama and manipulated her for years.

It was disgusting to see the way he interacts with Anupama and Anuj asthough he is a sait and even more annoying is the way Anupama interacts with Ladla.

That bhumi pujan scene, she again was broken to core..and honestly I would have loved her to move out. But again she chose to stay and suffer...

In a way, Anupama shows more the way normal women behave and accept all abuses in name of family.. even after the divorce till now she is doing same.

very very rarely she actually walks the path for women empowerment, show what women should do... (Okay, I need to think hard if I find any example but let me believe this for now)

I won't even call her moving out of Shah house as good example because next day she was peeping and then planned Baa Bapuji wedding.