Mental harassment done on Kavya - Page 3

Originally posted by: Rein123

The equation here is between Anupama and Kavya. How Vanraj treats Kavya is irrelevant and moot when it comes to Kavya’s behavior with Anupama.

Vanraj treated Anupama badly, she did not take that out on Kavya. As a wronged and cheated wife, she could have lodged a complaint against both erring cheating adults, she did not.

The equation between Kavya and Vanraj is theirs to sort out, fight it out, Anupama is not responsible for Kavya’s state of mind. Kavya usurped Anupama’s rights, not the other way around. Kavya along with Vanraj is responsible for Anupama’s wronged plight.

Blaming Vanraj for Kavya’s idiocy is neither here nor there. Kavya can leave the house - there is no such legal right or expectation that the wife has to live in the same house as the husband’s family. She is Vanraj’s current wife but is not accepted as a daughter in law. Kavya has no rights in that house. She is newly married and has not contributed anything yet to gain community property rights over anything that belongs to Vanraj.

Plus the house is Bapuji’s, not Vanraj’s. 25 plus years of being Vanraj’s wife, Anupama is owed half of everything that Vanraj has. He cannot pay her alimony (he did not think of it until the last episode) as he does not even have a job. Half of his 1/3 share of the house also rightfully belongs to Anupama as she was his wife for 25 years and was not recompensed for the divorce, a divorce brought upon by mental and physical abuse and cheating.

Kavya remains in the house only because she has always wanted to be Anupama. She has fantasized living in that room with Vanraj in Anupama’s stead. Kavya is the outsider, the interloper that has maneuvered her way in. She does not belong there. Bapuji is still alive and does not need to dispose of his house yet. He had the decency to divide it up between his 3 children, one being Anupama. Dolly owns 1/3 of the house but does not live in the house. So Vanraj can be be a man and walk out of the house along with his witchy wife. He wanted to but Kavya is the one that stopped him as she had evil plans to kick the old man and woman out and reign over the huge house as queen. She has no rights over the family home, none, nil, yet has fantasies of being queen there, she had no rights on Vanraj yet had fantasies of being his wife, living in his room, wearing saris he had purchased for his wife, Anupama.

Kavya has from the beginning wanted to anihilate Anupama’s identity. Is it because in her sick mind, Kavya really hankers after the idea of being like Anupama more than Kavya wants to be Vanraj’s wife? Whatever the reason for her identity crisis, it is Kavya’s problem to be figured out. We don’t excuse criminals for their behavior by laying it on their bad childhood or failed relationships, similarly, Kavya’s reasons may make a good psyche study but cannot be used as excuses for her terrible treatment of Anupama and the rest of the family.

Anupama’s relationship is not just with Vanraj, she has children, she has in-laws who in 25 years have become her parents. The divorce ended her relationship with Vanraj, took away his rights to abuse her. Being a woman and a divorcee does not automatically make Anupama the outsider, to the contrary, she is still Rakhi Dave’s samdhanji, she didn’t stop being Toshu’s mother, she is still Kinjal’s saas. The stupidity in addressing Kavya as Kinjal’s saas grates.

A marriage in itself does not make a relationship with the family. It might give the relationship a name which Kavya obsessed after, she got the title of wife, everything else is not auto hers. She is not Kinjal’s saas - she is the Step saas, the house is not hers just because she is married to the slime guy. She may have rights over him now and in ten years over his share of the property, until then the woman is just making a huge fool of herself. Vanraj deserves every bit of her crazy self and I hope he suffers an empty stomach, has severe migraines, develops GERD, and has FOMO every second as he watches his family being happy with Anupama. He needs to be kicked out of the house, Bapuji should not have given Vanraj even that 1/3.

Originally posted by: Rein123

well if you think about it from Kavya's perspective, Vanraj even after having an EMA with Kavya still managed to retain his family to an extent, but Kavya?? She literally lost everything, so her only hope is getting married to Vanraj. And coming to self respect, here's the thing when it comes to intense emotions or when you hit rock bottom and you have no one to help you out self respect literally takes a backseat.

She is not being rude because she loves to be rude, it's just how she normally reacts to situations when she feels she is being treated unfairly. She may be tactless when it comes to handling relationships but that doesn't mean she doesn't want any of them. There was a time when she and Pakhi used to be really close and Pakhi chose her over Anupama, did she ever harbour any ill feelings towards her, or any of Vanraj's family members back then? No she didn't.

The only reason she is targeting them today is because they did the same to her first. I get it they don't like her and blame her alone for breaking apart Vanraj and Anupama's marriage since she is the easy scapegoat here. Fact of the matter is, it was always Vanraj who never valued Anupama, his family that used to treat her like a doormat and take her for granted, the only reason they are complaining and crying is because they can no longer force or boss around Anupama, in short treat her like crap like they used to earlier and hence they are venting out their frustration on Kavya who sort of became a trigger for Anupama giving up her sacrificial nature of coming in second. Vanraj's lack of respect for Anupama is what actually broke apart their marriage, Kavya was just one of the factors, if it were not Kavya then Vanraj would have an EMA with some other woman lying to them and giving them a sob story about how he is in a loveless marriage and that he wants to divorce their wife and what not, isn't that what he told Kavya too??

Overall, Vanraj and Anupama have already divorced while the former married Kavya, what on earth are they going to achieve by antagonising Kavya at this point? Do they want Vanraj to have another divorce?? Or do they actually think that this would bring Anupama and Vanraj back together?? Anupama clearly wouldn't want to get back so at least for the sake of the family's peace they can at least try to accept the fact that she is Varaj's legally wedded wife and not intentionally taunt her every now and then.

To be very honest, since their EMA was exposed all Kavya has done has acted nasty. Kavya made her own choices to abandon her husband. Being at rock bottom doesn't justify her pushing for the marriage. Kavya befriended Pakhi for her own selfish reasons not because she actually cared for her. And she should and would have no reason to have any feeling for Pakhi, good or bad, since she is not her daughter. If I remember correctly, Kavya was happy and relieved when Pakhi went back to Anu.

And the agenda here is not about Anu or Vanraj..I thought the actual topic was about Kavya being mentally tortured...for this I would say not really. The way Vanraj treated Anu or Baa denying Anu education....these are what I would call mental harrassment

Kavya is just getting a taste of her own medicine.

Originally posted by: Rein123

At work, so will keep this short :)

Kavya might have had problems with Anirudh but she was still legally married to him and using his house, their house to use as a love nest with Vanraj. She could have divorced Anirudh and then have been free to pursue whomever she wanted though I would have expected a sensible woman to draw the line at married men.

I think I already responded to why Anupama is still around Vanraj. He can pack his bags and leave. She was cheated, tortured and humiliated and just because he is newly married does not give him or his new wife every right, financial, legal, etc to rule over the household.

Oh, I agree, Vanraj is the biggest sleaze there is, he is immature, chauvinistic, cruel, selfish, self centered, self serving, and an ass to boot.

Kavya as an educated and financially independent woman if she were sensible would remove herself from the toxic situation. She got what she wanted (if Vanraj is what she actually wanted) and so should be happy to live a life of married bliss separately without the hassles of his family bugging her.

Also, Kavya has always been part of the Shah household, she was not newly introduced to them, she was newly introduced to us, the viewers, at the beginning of the show. Even in the promo, Anupama is seen talking to Kavya over the phone. Pakhi is already her “best friend”, she waltzes in and out of the Shah house as if she belonged. The cake when she got promoted on Anupama’s bday, her taking part in Pakhi’s school function, her acting as Vanraj’s wife when Rakhi first came to meet the family - Kavya definitely was not a newbie to the Shahs. Anupama has repeatedly said that since Kavya was around at the office, she knew that Kavya would tell her if any other girl batted her eyelids at her ever so handsome (yucky) husband. So Kavya was a snake in pretending to be Anupama’s friend while backstabbing and cheating on her all the while.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

At work, so will keep this short :)

Kavya might have had problems with Anirudh but she was still legally married to him and using his house, their house to use as a love nest with Vanraj. She could have divorced Anirudh and then have been free to pursue whomever she wanted though I would have expected a sensible woman to draw the line at married men.

I think I already responded to why Anupama is still around Vanraj. He can pack his bags and leave. She was cheated, tortured and humiliated and just because he is newly married does not give him or his new wife every right, financial, legal, etc to rule over the household.

Then Anupama should just ask them to get out and end it for once, it's either her or Vanraj and Kavya. Either she kicks them out or leaves herself.

Oh, I agree, Vanraj is the biggest sleaze there is, he is immature, chauvinistic, cruel, selfish, self centered, self serving, and an ass to boot.

Kavya as an educated and financially independent woman if she were sensible would remove herself from the toxic situation. She got what she wanted (if Vanraj is what she actually wanted) and so should be happy to live a life of married bliss separately without the hassles of his family bugging her.

Also, Kavya has always been part of the Shah household, she was not newly introduced to them, she was newly introduced to us, the viewers, at the beginning of the show. Even in the promo, Anupama is seen talking to Kavya over the phone. Pakhi is already her “best friend”, she waltzes in and out of the Shah house as if she belonged. The cake when she got promoted on Anupama’s bday, her taking part in Pakhi’s school function, her acting as Vanraj’s wife when Rakhi first came to meet the family - Kavya definitely was not a newbie to the Shahs. Anupama has repeatedly said that since Kavya was around at the office, she knew that Kavya would tell her if any other girl batted her eyelids at her ever so handsome (yucky) husband. So Kavya was a snake in pretending to be Anupama’s friend while backstabbing and cheating on her all the while.

No from what I remember, Kavya was introduced to his family recently going by the conversation between her and Vanraj in the initial episodes from episode 1 or 10 but no she wasn't introduced before that, atleast that's how I remember it.

Dude, being educated and financially independent doesn't make you immune to extra marital affairs are you trying to say only uneducated women and financially dependent women have affairs with married men? Extra marital affairs have nothing to do with your financial status or marital status. Such people don't care about right or wrong, they just do what feels right to them and meets their emotional requirements. Ofcourse extra marital affairs are immoral but once it happens you can't simply undo it or dwell over it all their lives.

That house belonged to both her and Anirudh so it wasn't just Anirudh's house, she paid for it too they were co-owners. She wanted to divorce Anirudh but he tried to delay it or avert it, he wasn't ready to let go of her.

Originally posted by: gopi2929

To be very honest, since their EMA was exposed all Kavya has done has acted nasty. Kavya made her own choices to abandon her husband. Being at rock bottom doesn't justify her pushing for the marriage. Kavya befriended Pakhi for her own selfish reasons not because she actually cared for her. And she should and would have no reason to have any feeling for Pakhi, good or bad, since she is not her daughter. If I remember correctly, Kavya was happy and relieved when Pakhi went back to Anu.

Not from from way I saw it. And what justification? How do you know it's not a justification? Waise toh nothing can justify what she did but that still doesn't change the fact that she was indeed hit rock bottom and just did whatever she felt could get her out of it, that's called being desperate. And people do a lot of shit out of despair irrespective of having no real justification over it.

And the agenda here is not about Anu or Vanraj..I thought the actual topic was about Kavya being mentally tortured...for this I would say not really. The way Vanraj treated Anu or Baa denying Anu education....these are what I would call mental harrassment

Kavya is just getting a taste of her own medicine.

@red and what is that going to achieve other than more fights and disruption if family peace??? There are so many people who marry their mistresses and get accepted by the family eventually with minimal drama while the ex wife takes her due and moves on in life. What the hell is happening here?? If they had that much of a problem then they should have just rejected or kicked her out along with Vanraj, why are they even keeping them around? Just because they can't let go of Vanraj? Why are they blaming Kavya if they don't have the guts to kick them out at all or ask them to live separately, that's what is normally done if they are more attached to the DIL than the cheating son. Throw them out and end the shit for good.

Originally posted by: Rein123

No from what I remember, Kavya was introduced to his family recently going by the conversation between her and Vanraj in the initial episodes from episode 1 or 10 but no she wasn't introduced before that, atleast that's how I remember it.

Dude, being educated and financially independent doesn't make you immune to extra marital affairs are you trying to say only uneducated women and financially dependent women have affairs with married men? Extra marital affairs have nothing to do with your financial status or marital status. Such people don't care about right or wrong, they just do what feels right to them and meets their emotional requirements. Ofcourse extra marital affairs are immoral but once it happens you can't simply undo it or dwell over it all their lives.

That house belonged to both her and Anirudh so it wasn't just Anirudh's house, she paid for it too they were co-owners. She wanted to divorce Anirudh but he tried to delay it or avert it, he wasn't ready to let go of her.

No, I have been watching from the start and Kavya was not introduced to the family at the beginning of the show. She was already well established as a co-worker and friend of Vanraj’s and the family’s.

Lol, where did you get that from? when did I say anything about being educated or financially independent making one impervious to extra martial affairs? Anupama is uneducated and financially dependent - by that definition she should be having affairs right, left and center. Please don’t surmise. Yes, I agree, people indulging in such illicit affairs when they are already in committed relationships is immoral.

Yes, the house belonged to Kavya’s husband and her, so using that as a love nest is deplorable. Easy perhaps as Anirudh was mostly out of town but still inexcusable. Both Kavya and Vanraj deserve each other and I am looking forward to seeing them make each other thoroughly miserable. Karma.

The only people that have ruined and tortured Kavya are the writers

They destroyed her character to glorify Anupamaa

guess what ?

can’t stand either of them now . Good job writers !

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

No, I have been watching from the start and Kavya was not introduced to the family at the beginning of the show. She was already well established as a co-worker and friend of Vanraj’s and the family’s.

Lol, where did you get that from? when did I say anything about being educated or financially independent making one impervious to extra martial affairs? Anupama is uneducated and financially dependent - by that definition she should be having affairs right, left and center. Please don’t surmise. Yes, I agree, people indulging in such illicit affairs when they are already in committed relationships is immoral.

Yes, the house belonged to Kavya’s husband and her, so using that as a love nest is deplorable. Easy perhaps as Anirudh was mostly out of town but still inexcusable. Both Kavya and Vanraj deserve each other and I am looking forward to seeing them make each other thoroughly miserable. Karma.

It was deplorable yet Anirudh allowed it right, moreover it was her house too so technically she can do whatever she wants in it especially after separating from Anirudh. Once a couple lives separately even when they are still married and on the verge to be divorced, what they do is no one's business in fact they don't really need their separated partners permission for anything isn't that the whole point of initiating a divorce? the point is Anirudh knew everything. So why single out Kavya alone? Whether she uses the house as a love nest or not, that house is gone for good now anyways, and frankly I don't even know why you dragged her house into this?

And this topic is about post What's happening to her after the marriage, which if you ask isn't really going to help anyone.

@red when you seemingly suggested that Kavya being educated and financially independent should not have pursued a relationship with Vanraj. It sounded like you were trying to say educated and independent women are unlikely to get involved in EMAs which is obviously not true.

Also coming to Kavya’s insecurities and problem with Anupama, wasn't Vanraj exactly the same when Anirudh used to be around Kavya to a point where he got into a fist fight with the latter. When Vanraj and Kavya were still in a cordial relationship Vanraj would overreact over every little thing that had to do with Anirudh so why are we expecting Kavya to be different around Anupama? How is that fair? Which wife would tolerate watching her husband's ex wife around him??

Anirudh toh phir bhi has left and walked out of Kavya’s life but Anupama is still around, why wouldn't Kavya be bothered by it? If given a chance I believe Kavya would have eventually accepted Vanraj’s family and adjusted to them but the way they are treating her by keeping or forcing Anupama to stay around I don't really blame her for lashing out at every one the way she does.

You assumed wrong about the educated and financially independent bit :)

I didn’t drag Anirudh’s house into it - it was in response to Kavya being already separated from Anirudh. Anirudh did still live there whenever he was in town. Better to get a divorce and then use the house if it becomes hers to whatever purpose she wants.

Again how Vanraj acted in front of Anirudh is moot. Anirudh himself egged Vanraj every opportunity he got. Not so Anupama.

As to whether Kavya would have adjusted to the Shahs, I don’t think so. She had plans to ship Pakhi off to boarding school and kick Ba and Bapuji out. With that kind of mindset, I doubt she would ever have gotten along with them. But that again is pure conjecture on our parts. We can only judge what we see and she is not that good.