I don't understand what Anupama is trying to do

I am having trouble understanding what Anupama is trying to do. The time when she found out about the affair she had completely mad is clear to Vanraj that it will be her decision whether she wants to leave the house, whether she wants the relationship or not. But now what is happening - Vanraj asked Anupama to leave the house. It was Vanraj's decision that Anupama will leave this house. Vanraj made the decision that he will marry Kavya that he will file for divorce. Anupama agreed. Where is her decision?? Where is her stand?? I know these things are difficult moving on trying to make those tough decisions but isn't that the whole crux of the story.

The affair is out in the open. I completely agree with Anupama trying to make her kids understand that Vanraj was a good father. It shows maturity but I still don't understand her asking Bapuji to forgive Vanraj. What will happen if bapuji forgives his son? Vanraj will stay in the house then what will Anupama will do?? Stay with him in the house.

I had expected Anupama to take a stand. Frankly I was hoping to see Anupama either pack her bags and say that I am leaving this house to go to her mother's house or tell Vanraj that this is her house. He needs to leave because there is no relation. I seriously dont get what the makers are trying to show.

I think Vanraj tried to manipulate her by threatening to divorce her, and she surprised him by agreeing.

I don't think she should leave the house, but she doesn't need to maintain any relationships with him now, legal or otherwise.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I think Vanraj tried to manipulate her by threatening to divorce her, and she surprised him by agreeing.

I don't think she should leave the house, but she doesn't need to maintain any relationships with him now, legal or otherwise.

Yeah exactly Vanraj should be the one leaving the house, not Anu

No tbh I like Anu's stand of agreeing for divorce... I found it the most decent and dignified thing to do in this situation...

Imagine if she refused and tried to force "Vee" to stay married to her after everything that's happened 🤢

I feel it would be unnatural on her part to want to stay in this messed up marriage... so far she was only silent for her kids and inlaws... now that they all know "Vee's" real face, what's the point?

Originally posted by: Anjalika01

No tbh I like Anu's stand of agreeing for divorce... I found it the most decent and dignified thing to do in this situation...

Imagine if she refused and tried to force "Vee" to stay married to her after everything that's happened 🤢

I feel it would be unnatural on her part to want to stay in this messed up marriage... so far she was only silent for her kids and inlaws... now that they all know "Vee's" real face, what's the point?

I don't have a problem with her agreeing for divorce. My problem is that Vanraj took the decision not her. In fact I liked the fact that she stood strong in front of baa regarding not forgiving Vanraj and accepting him. Staying in this marraige is out of question.

For Anupama their marriage was over the day she got to know about Vanraj’s EMA. She put up with a show of being married for the sake of her in laws and kids. Yes she told Vanraj it will be her choice but she had probably made her choice and she said it today. In her mind she had divorced him that day itself. But she decided to stay in the same house coz of her family. Her choice was clear. Now that the cat is out of the bag, she is free. Anupama was being mature to advise her kids to think of him as a good dad and she knows Baa Babuji need Vanraj coz he is the care giver in the family. At least for now and no matter what happened between them she knows he had been a good son which is why she wants them to forgive Vanraj. She would have walked away from the house eventually had it not been for Babuji’s firm stand.

anupama is not selfish she can clearly see baa , babu ji and her kids is not happy vanraj leaving here she is not thinking about her but here she thinking about family for her family is everything agar family sad hoge wo bhi kabhi khush nahi reh payege yes even first i want anupama to leave the house but i dont want this now after what vanraj said i want anupama to stay that house and show ravanraj usske bina bhi yeh ghar aram se chal sakta han only may b this make him realize what he lost

Originally posted by: Tvfanatic85

I don't have a problem with her agreeing for divorce. My problem is that Vanraj took the decision not her. In fact I liked the fact that she stood strong in front of baa regarding not forgiving Vanraj and accepting him. Staying in this marraige is out of question.

Yeah I would have liked to see her being up divorce first too...

But I’m happy after today’s epi where Baa asks her to forgive Vanraj and she refuses!

Ever since Anupamaa found out about the affair, everything ended for her... like she said in todays episode... when she saw Vanya in the bedroom, on her bed.... that betrayal and all else, her relationship ended there and then. But what did not end was her relation with her in-laws, her responsiblity and love and care for them. She has given that house 25 yrs, more then her own mother's house... This is her home.... she has spent more time here then anywhere else and with her inlaws then her own parents.

And Vanraj day by day does something so low, that any respect remaining he loses - the dude has no respect left.

The things he tells Baa about how Anupamaa, has attitude, she took my house, she did this and that - Everything he says is what Vanraj has done and doing.. the one with the ego is him, the one with attitude is him. Still now he doesnt believe any of this is his fault - its hers. Now what can you tell this man, disgusting.

Originally posted by: BeyondHorizon

For Anupama their marriage was over the day she got to know about Vanraj’s EMA. She put up with a show of being married for the sake of her in laws and kids. Yes she told Vanraj it will be her choice but she had probably made her choice and she said it today. In her mind she had divorced him that day itself. But she decided to stay in the same house coz of her family. Her choice was clear. Now that the cat is out of the bag, she is free. Anupama was being mature to advise her kids to think of him as a good dad and she knows Baa Babuji need Vanraj coz he is the care giver in the family. At least for now and no matter what happened between them she knows he had been a good son which is why she wants them to forgive Vanraj. She would have walked away from the house eventually had it not been for Babuji’s firm stand.

Agree.

Anupamaa time and time again, told Vanraj - that atleast have some thought about his parents and so on... but he cant even do that... his dad had a heart attack, two days later he is out roaming with his mistress. He gets the hump cos he was late to the diwali puja, instead of standing and praying - he shuns his family and aarti time, to go and sulk.

Even now, he thinks everyone shouldnt hate him, should talk to him, and blames Anupamaa on how they are behaving. The man is delusional.

Anupamaa also told him, that she wont tell his parents, but he should - even after Vanraj taunting her that he is going to marry Kavya, Anupamaa said - ok congrats, when is it - are you telling your parents - The man is coward.

He didnt have to leave... but he chose to, if he was that worried about his parents, he would of stayed but again he leaves knowing full well Anupamaa is there (just like he use to go to work, his affair, going cinema... all this he did knowing that someone is at home, taking care of his parents, house and kids) its why he has so much freedom and that man says he is suffocated - Excuses and more excuses.

Vanraj out of the house is better, cos that house can survive without Vanraj and his toxicity.

Anupama's thinking is not about marriage and serving her husband anymore - thats finished, and dead. But being there for her in-laws who she sees as her parents, and her kids. Keep caring for them and also do something for herself too etc

Originally posted by: Tvfanatic85

I am having trouble understanding what Anupama is trying to do. The time when she found out about the affair she had completely mad is clear to Vanraj that it will be her decision whether she wants to leave the house, whether she wants the relationship or not. But now what is happening - Vanraj asked Anupama to leave the house. It was Vanraj's decision that Anupama will leave this house. Vanraj made the decision that he will marry Kavya that he will file for divorce. Anupama agreed. Where is her decision?? Where is her stand?? I know these things are difficult moving on trying to make those tough decisions but isn't that the whole crux of the story.

The affair is out in the open. I completely agree with Anupama trying to make her kids understand that Vanraj was a good father. It shows maturity but I still don't understand her asking Bapuji to forgive Vanraj. What will happen if bapuji forgives his son? Vanraj will stay in the house then what will Anupama will do?? Stay with him in the house.

I had expected Anupama to take a stand. Frankly I was hoping to see Anupama either pack her bags and say that I am leaving this house to go to her mother's house or tell Vanraj that this is her house. He needs to leave because there is no relation. I seriously dont get what the makers are trying to show.

I feel you, her scene with Bapuji... I was like - oh here she goes again. I get it she is being mature and all - but practically it is almost impossible to feel empathy for someone who did wrong and hurt you so much. You can get over it a little bit, but not in a short time. She first has to heal herself first.

I think writers themselves are confused trying to balance out her character of a woman who is trying to be strong - and at the same time a woman who loves her family to the point of sacrificing everything. Even while writing this - it doesn't make sense to me😆

I do the point of leaving the house and agreeing to divorce. I mean - to her it is his house (Meanwhile the reason she gave was everyone's happiness - ya it is confusing 🤪) and she does not feel the connection anymore so her readiness for divorce doesn't bother me.

Her staying back for kids and stuff - that is also acceptable. But I do think she needs to set a firm boundary - her decision to be herself - just 'Anupama' seems to be disappeared somewhere.

There is a pattern - first it was her 'Pati' and now it's her 'Parivar'. rather than blindly putting a priority on something she needs to find a balance.

And I do believe - whatever self-esteem we are seeing now is all thanks to Vanraj's continuous trash behavior. If he were to bend down a little - she might have given up - and would have back to the original Anupama. She still lacks a lot of self-respect.