Is it really Vanraj and Kavya Fault - Page 2

of course it is kavya and vanraj mistake comeon dont tell me that u feel just because anupama trust her husband this is her fault

I would hope you mean.. is it ONLY kavya and vanraj's fault.

in that case NO. you are right, Anupama being a blindly faithful wife is her biggest downfall.

However, having trust and faith in marriage is a great thing. not many women like anupama exist in todays world. Vanraj working with kavya and bringing her to everytihing would be enough for any women to be doubtful.. so its an asset for anupama to be faithful and trusting.

That being said.. its not on anupama that her husband is a cheat. It is on anupama to blindly be trusting. vanraj has yelled at her and said horrible things to her.. after that itself you should be on guard ..

does anupama have some fault in whats happening to her.. yes. she does. but the percentage is about 5% to 95% vanraj kavya.

Originally posted by: NiharikaMishra

It's not really the cheating that has been the worst for Anupamaa. Do we feel as much sorry for Aniruddh? He was cheated upon too right??

But Kavya was open about it from the beginning, by justifying it with his ignorance in the relationship and promptly asking for divorce. Even he admits many times it is his mistake and he wants to fix things back!! Vanraj continued the affair with no plans of quitting his marriage.

But what if Vanraj never met Kavya and maybe had a male or an unattractive female colleague instead. What if he didn't have any affair but continued to treat Anupamaa like a glorified maid??

The cheating will break the donkey's back, but was the treatment to Anupamaa justified without it?

We could have still made peace with that, had Vanraj been a sorry character who sincerely loves Kavya but also treats Anupamaa well and cares about her feelings and sometimes feels guilty too. People sometimes get weak, it's only human. Kavya is his love, Anupamaa is his responsibility, we could have understood!!

But he never showed an ounce of guilt until he was threatened by Devika and Sanjay and that too was fear.

Vanraj doesn't deserve Anupamaa, with or without the cheating!!

This (in red) say it louder!!!!

I agree with you. Also Anupamaa seems to be more of his aadat (habit) and treats her however and and her feelings (where he thinks it has no value)

Originally posted by: Lennie

This (in red) say it louder!!!!

I agree with you. Also Anupamaa seems to be more of his aadat (habit) and treats her however and and her feelings (where he thinks it has no value)

Exactly, and think about the re-marriage. Would it have happened if Vanraj was not threatened with discovery of his affair? Without the affair reveal threat, he would have continued to belittle her like before.

He started treating Anupamaa well and everyone else did the same, meaning no one would have ever treated her badly, had Vanraj been a better husband.

This candy-flossy wedding doesn't compensate for 25 years of emotional abuse.

Originally posted by: NiharikaMishra

Exactly, and think about the re-marriage. Would it have happened if Vanraj was not threatened with discovery of his affair? Without the affair reveal threat, he would have continued to belittle her like before.

He started treating Anupamaa well and everyone else did the same, meaning no one would have ever treated her badly, had Vanraj been a better husband.

This candy-flossy wedding doesn't compensate for 25 years of emotional abuse.

Exactly.

This whole drama of a wedding is because he got scared of Devika accusation and so on, and Anupamaa for once in their life was really heartbroken, at what he said and the panic attack. Him being all lovey dovey is for show.

Leela would of still treated her like that to a extent (cos it was never her choice lol and she has kinda a sharp tongue which is handy at times to others) but even Leela cant deny how well a daughter in law Anupamaa has been, and takes care of everyone etc...

Originally posted by: SiddJ

That anupama does not ever doubt her husband.

She listens to all the taunts and tries to be a perfect daughter in law. But never has she tried to under stand what her husband thinks of her and he's able to have an affair right under her nose. To the extent of getting his gf home.. seriously which wife will see all this and still believe her husband is a devta.

3 instances and you'll be out of your dilemma:

1. Week 1: Vanraj throws Anu out of the house in front of everyone, right after coming back from office. Why? Because she wasn't ready at home to serve him and he had to ask his daughter or oh-so old mother to do so.

Anu was out for the first time with her friends, whom that Baa doesn't like, just for a little longer time. She had made all the arrangements so that their isn't any vacuum left in her absence but 6 ppl in the house couldn't compensate for what she is suppose to do single-handedly.

Result: Anu is thrown, just simply thrown out of her own house without giving her one chance to explain.

2. Anu takes a stand and refuses to take the bite of the cake on Kavya's promotion celebration, which ideally should have been her b'day cake as she is that family's member n not Kavya.

Conclusion: Vanraj blasts out at Anu for behaving this way and scares her to the core with his antics.

3. Kavya in a heated argument with Baa is asked to move out of Vanraj's house by Baa. Anu tries to pitch in and resolve the issue and requests Kavya to leave. Kavya arrogantly leaves but tells Vanraj that Anu threw her out, and not Baa. Vanraj comes home and vents all his anger at Anu and Baa, instead of speaking out and admitting she asked Kavya to leave, adds fuel to the fire and blames Anu for asking Kavya to leave.

Conclusion: Anu is thrown out of her room. She has a severe panic attack.

Do you still think Anu is at fault?

Agreed she blindly trusts Kavya and Vanraj. But isn't it coz Vanraj forced her to behave well n politely with her no matter what. Have we ever seen Anu blindly trusting anyone else? Not Devika, Not Kamini neither Rakhi. As far as Baa is concerned, she believes baa only out of her due respect since she never got much respect and love from her, not even in the time span of 25 yrs. May be same goes for Vanraj. May be initially Vanraj felt Anu was attractive but after 3 kids, he didn't feel the same and felt attracted towards younger women.

Anupama is what many Indian housewife are.

They listen to abuses from husband n in laws but can't leave because of her parents, children, society n no independent source of income.

They r thought that husband is pati parmeshwara n adjust to circumstances.