Update on my autistic child. - Page 3

Thanks Mahika! :) He's tall too!!! He's 5'5 now at just 11 yrs old... he's going to trump my brother who's over 6 feet! Ok... my moment of gushy pride in him passing, sorry. :)

Ohh, I can definitely relate, Swapna. Getting the testing done is so nervewracking. I am really happy with the services we get, and it's great to see the little triumphs.
My son also has related gastrointestinal issues and many food allergies, so on that front, we are working on the challenges too. I also have a daughter who loves him with her whole heart. He is very lucky to have a sister like her, and vice versa. Kids are much more accepting than adults.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Mahika.

You're welcome.

never say she has down, say she has down's dyndrome.

Swapna, Actually I guessed very early on that my son was autistic, but was told that they don't test too much before age 2 1/2 because they want to give the child time to develop at their own pace before pronouncing any diagnosis. That seemed fair to me, so we Iet it be, though the ages 1 to 3 were very difficult for all of us--lots of screaming, no sleep, basically guesswork day and night as to what he wanted. That's why Antara, having no interventions till age 5, but being able to just sit there, makes me a bit incredulous (though they anticipated that by making her high functioning, I guess). The pediatrician also brushed me off when I said he is not making eye contact. Sigh. btw, we are also in nj.

We went through the school services for testing, and it was so cathartic to know I was not imagining all the symptoms. The report still makes me choked up. I was sad to know he was so squarely in the middle to severe range, yet happy that we finally knew what we could do. We decided to see what the special ed could offer before we sought other options, and though the initial few months were rough, he has really made strides. He is almost 4 now, and making a few verbal sounds, though not understandable to people who don't interact with him every day. We also use sign language, which has been so helpful.

There are still bad days, but we do the best we can. Still working on toilet training; the teachers are so nice about working with us, considering how messy all those accidents can be. We are setting up some help from the county for extra speech therapy.

I sometimes wonder about the unintended consequences of ABA and PECS and all that; they use routine and ritual to teach, the traits which come naturally to the kids, but he has become so insistent on every routine being followed that we are quite exhausted by it! LOL. Happy for him, 😲 for us, right? Sometimes he doesn't let me sit down even for a second because some ritual needs to be "nibhao-ed" immediately... But I would choose that any day over lack of intervention.

We just try not to worry about the big picture, and my father did Saraswati and Dhanvantari Homams for him, so that he should start speaking soon, and for his poor tummy. My parents are great with him; wish we could meet more often.

Nice chatting,

Mahika.

Hi Mahika,

Swapna and Mahika thank you so much for sharing your experiences with all of us. Please keep on doing this wonderful positive work.

Princess and tvrocks, Aw, thanks. This is such a great forum with great people. ❤️
It's hard to know where is the right place to live. For my son, we definitely need the services, but for my daughter, living on our own like this with no family around is not the easiest life; she is so loving and sociable, and misses her grandparents and cousins a lot. I am always torn on this issue. I want so much for her too, you know? And though it sounds selfish to say, I feel that autism can isolate the whole family. Thank God for skype, so we can chat with everyone frequently!

Swapna, WW-P is a fantastic place for special ed, as is SB, from what I hear. Good luck with the house hunt. We have some relatives there and come there at least once a month.

It's really nice to know that praise works well for Rish. This has recently started working for my son, but it took a few months of ABA to get him there. He is making a lot of eye contact now, and likes to sit at the dining table with everyone. When all 4 chairs are occupied, he says, "Heee-yah!" to express his joy. I won't say that he works at his tasks for the praise, because I don't see that yet, but when he does something sociable, he claps his hands and says "yay" to prompt us to applaud, lol. Over the summer, he reverted to a lot of ritualistic behavior, though he did have summer school to keep things a little smooth.

When I see some of the logistical problems Aditya and Vidya have, I see how many services are needed, and it's good that the show highlights them. Just the example of what a struggle it is to get Antara to the clinic each day. We are fortunate to have a school bus service for the physically and developmentally disabled kids, and my son also has an aide to help him in the classroom. He is very attached to her, and when he comes home from school and jumps into my arms, my husband likes to joke that "Chotu Kanha has come home smelling of another woman's perfume," bwa haha! 🤣

Interesting to note that the kind of paranoia we are forced to employ in parenting here in the US is also needed for autistic kids in India. Vidya can allow Abhi to wander about the complex, but they will have to find a way to corral Antara.

Okay, got to run. Take care, all!

Mahika.

Thanks for all the encouragement everyone, it's really nice to hear words of support from people. I used to be a little scared when Rish was first diagnosed to take him out to places for fear of how he would be treated. It's like anytime a kid said something mean to him it would cut through me like a knife, but I slowly started to get over it, and realised that mostly it's just ignorance that fuels such behaviour, and the defeat of ignorance is always knowledge. Sooooo, whenever any kid would say anything mean I used to try to explain to him/her that Rish being different from them was not bad, just that he needs a little extra help to do the same things that they could. Once they got that believe me, they used to all bend over backwards to be the first in line to help him do things, it was so sweet!