Abir - the family guy??? - Page 8

Originally posted by: Appu1981

I think that every human being is and should be allowed to make their own decisions, whether they are right or wrong. This is the basic premise where there is a tug of war between Abir and Meenu. Meenu should have trusted Abir with the truth, inspite of it being bitter. But she didn’t trust her Son. So, when baba came with his version of truth, why would’nt Abir believe him. Ek chance toh definitely dega woh apne baba ko. Mind you he also knew how manipulative his mother is. So whatever he did during baba track, Abir is not to be blamed. Yes he was vulnerable, desperate and sometimes wrong, but he was not coming from a place of malice, insecurity or insensitivity. So, not just a family guy, he is the epitome of the family guy...

And I don’t understand the demonizing if mishbir that some people attempt. It is as if they are not allowed to be vulnerable, not have low points, not make any mistakes. They just want to cut some slack for the supporting characters. When kuhu falters and makes mistakes/crimes, it’s bcoz she was neglected in childhood by her grandparents, so it’s only human that she does things.. but she is still a family loving, straight forward and not drama seeking, self made, blah blah blah girl who needs people to love her.. I mean all she needs is understanding when she has made zero sacrifice for anybody. But mishbir, who have been put under innumerable testing times and made to sacrifice time n again, don’t deserve any ounce of understanding or sympathy. What kind of twisted logic is that.

Abir is the best character in all ITV dramas and Shaheer has selected This drama very Aptly.

Great post yaar👍🏼

The first paragraph is wonderfully written, explains Abir's mindset perfectly.@bold: Word! summed up the whole tashan in just 2 lines.

The fight between truth and trust: this small very underrated scene sums up both Meenu and Abir's p.o.v perfectly

https://twitter.com/Anonymous_1702/status/1189395712968134657

all that abir asks for is HONESTY and the OPPORTUNITY to decide the truth by himself

Originally posted by: aquaHP

Update (as if anyone cares but anyway):

After watching Abir come back home just to announce he is going to leave (such a drama queen!), he says the following dialogues:

"Ho sakta ha ki aap sahi aur mai galat hoon. Ho sakta hai ke maa sahi ho aur mere baba galat. (No doy!) Lekin aapne mujhse jhoot kaha. Kya wo sahi tha?"

I mean, seriously? You are gonna palto the guilt on the family when they have been trying to hold it together when you can't accept the truth?! Come on! Take responsibility for something, dude!!!

I never did understand why he came back to maar that dialogue. Him leaving already made it pretty clear. @bold: yeah, that's only reason I could think of.

Originally posted by: PureDrivenSnow

I never did understand why he came back to maar that dialogue. Him leaving already made it pretty clear. @bold: yeah, that's only reason I could think of.

Hai na?!!😂😂😂

He came back, went to sit in his room with the already packed bag to announce he was leaving to wo to he had already done na. Birthday bhi nahi celebrate karne waala tha to what was the point?! I found all of that so funny!🤪🤭

Originally posted by: journalgirl321

I 100% agree with you, Pihu.

The characterization of Abir isn't the problem. The problem is how the writing chooses to portray that same characterization. In order to see Abir's flaws, you have to look extremely closely, past all of the common ITV tropes that are meant to distract from the deeper story just to create drama and "excitement".

So many times, we have seen Abir as a less-than-perfect human being, but the writing refuses to address it, and instead conveniently frames it as something completely different so as to keep the "cool" factor of the male lead intact. Take the scene in which Abir is fighting with Meenakshi about Ketki's impending marriage: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_k3tB5DZkC/

So when we watch this scene less attentively, Abir is portrayed as being his little sister's hero, her knight in shining armor, her protector. He is the socially progressive, moral compass of his family of oppressive, close-minded individuals. But if we watch it again, but this time with more attention to the context, it's not that hard to see that this conflict is less about Ketki, and more about Abir and Meenakshi's disagreements. This is where I found Meenakshi to be more justified. I found it odd that Abir was giving Meenu a hard time for forcing this relationship on Ketki when clearly, he doesn't know the whole picture because he wasn't there. Where was he, might you ask? Oh, he was backpacking across Gujarat, because he wanted to escape the throes of his mother's so called suffocating household, instead of facing her head on like an adult. This is a character flaw that could easily be focused on and developed on to build depth in the characterization: his inability to face problems head on. But instead, the writing chooses to conveniently glorify his rebellion as some sort of heroism, and sends the message that "disrespecting your parents is the 'cool' and 'modern' and 'progressive' thing to do". Having productive, civil discussions with your parents should be encouraged. Taunting and talking back hotheadedly them like this should not. It's such a kiddish, immature thing to do.

If the flaws of each character were actually addressed for what they were, I think we'd have a complete story of substance, depth, and meaning. Whitewashing those same flaws in certain characters, and then proceeding to crucify other characters for having similar flaws depending on who the character is creates such double standards that are extremely hard to digest.

I have to say this because I love that you were able to see the same scene with different perspectives!! That is so cool!!

And I agree with you as well. The characterization isn't the problem at all. The manipulative writing is!! I hate the double standards that they keep building up to make us see the same action in a different light for 2 different characters and even though, it is an interesting that how visual storytelling can convey different things, it annoys me when the writing tells us who to support and who not to support. The potential this show would have if it was shown through a neutral lens. If only they would let us make up our own minds about which character to like or rather what character trait we like and dislike in each character rather than painting someone as a villian and the other as a positive character.

Take Meenu for instance. I hate that we have to see her in a negative light now. I love how they had shown her in the beginning. She was portrayed so neutrally and we could see the good and the bad parts and decide for our own selves.

Attack

Abir is man child

Abir is drama queen

Abir's role has nothing much left in it, too flatten

Defence

EXPLANATIONS all mishbir fans have

Let's see where was discussion in that 🤔

Originally posted by: aquaHP

Oh wow!! I didn't know that these many people were still active on the forum. Lol!

But can I just say that there was no need to bombard me with multiple similar posts about how much you all love Abir. I already know that. (Thanks Nandu for reiterating this point!) Also, do you guys not know me, my opinions or are we all interacting for the first time? Calm down, people! There is no need to come defending him. I already what flaws and good qualities Abir has. If you still don't know what I mean, please look up the word 'clickbait'. Thank you!

And sorry if I went overboard with the dramaqueen and man child comment. As mentioned, I was riled up by the writers not trying to develop his character even after this track! He still doesn't have the patience to listen to people when he doesn't like what he is hearing. I know how much it hurts when characters you like are called names. I've seen it happen with comments like "jalkukdi/jalkudi/2rs person/so many more". Atleast, I still used better words. I am such an angel, right?😇

Sach kahun to I was hoping to see some analysis on this flawed side of Abir and understand how you guys wanted his character to grow or be developed but instead of focussing on the main point of the post, everyone started defending him as if I am new to this forum and don't know who or what Abir is.

Coming to it, after reading Uru's reply, main bhool hi gayi ki maine kya likha tha. Ye to Abir ki height se bhi lamba reply tha. Girl, how do you have the patience to write so much?!

Not going to mention names here because I am completely lost because I went off to sleep and woke up to some 8 pages on this thread. So, anonymous replies it is!

Whoever said, Shaheer as an adult has the right to choose his own roles. I never said he didn't. I only said that I don't understand the appeal of the character anymore because there is not much left to play around with, as an actor. When Abir was "obsessed" (it was an exaggeration because I couldn't find another word. I still don't have a better word. Feel free to tell me if y'all do) with finding his dad, there were so many layers to his character. There was trauma and sadness and memories, and now that layering has gone. The banjaraness is gone too with him getting married now. The whole point was to say that as of now, for me, the character arc is flat and frankly, that leaves the character at an interesting impasse because even though, this is a development in his character compared to when he was introduced, there is potential to make him a family man or leave the family all together as of now. He can start taking steps to be a great son to Meenu and make her feel secure or completely lose his way in trying to defeat her.

*Side note: And people, if you're still focussing on the few things I said above which are mildly against Abir, looking for a way to defend Abir, you've still not understood the point of this post. The point of the post is to discuss the flaws and the character arc. Stop defending the character and start discussing him instead. I already know how great he is. We discussed that for the past year. Now, can we get to something more interesting and discuss how much potential this character has and where can it go, to the greatest heights or down in the darkest pits. It's fiction, after all! You can take it anywhere you like, and especially when the show is on break. We've all seen the positive side on the show. Won't it be fun to discuss the negative and how dark the character can go. Let loose, people!

Okay, now itna likhne ke baad, I don't remember much of what anyone else said except a few people mentioning that I usually write ocean deep analysis and how this was a superficial take. Well, sometimes you have to take a step back to see if there are other interesting fish in the sea as well. I hope I was able to explain what the purpose of this post was because it was definitely not analysis. It was discussion and generating new ideas. I hope we can get to it now since there are so many people active on this forum which I see leaving right about now since no one really cares to discuss but rather only defend. Anyway, it was nice to see so much liveliness in the forum after so long. I would love to read and discuss if any of you want to share the imaginary progression you see for Abir's character.

Originally posted by: Onyourface

Its amazing to see that abir's as an character is so intriguing that people are still discussing him even after two months of the show being on hold That actually makes me a happy fan

Okay , coming down from my happy lane , let me try to explain what I think about abir as a family man ?

Aqua , not sure why you picked up those scenes where abir as a character was at its weakest and and highlighted only some of his lines from those scenes and then trying to set an image of him that he isn't a family man ??? Allow me to to explain what happened before and after those scenes in detail

First of all , I don't see anywhere being obsessed with his father ? That is his struggle to find a man whom he was emotionally attached to when he was his child, think about it , abir hasn't spend just 3 or hours but a good 6 to 7 years with his baba, who used to teach him all these good things about spirituality, humanity to the extent that he shared his desire to make a school for underprivileged children in champaner , there have been so many such moments that would have created such am impact on abir's life that he actually decided to build that school as a tribute to his baba, drew towards the spiritual aspect of life and started helping the society in his own ways, in a way he was following his baba's ideologies , yes baba was a sham and we can't really blame abir for not seeing through, even meenu an adult with a strong mind if still fell for baba's charming works that abir was just a child then ? Undoubtedly, abir was very much emotionally attached to his father and him leaving away without any answer created a big hole in his heart

The reason his curiosity went af peak because his fade memories were totally in contrast with the story that contradicted ( infact they told him a wrong story which I will explain in later part of my post l As a child , when he asked where is his baba , he got slapped? For the longest time he kept asking but the only answer he got was " tumhare baba Hume chod ke chale Gaye " Arey bhai aage toh bolo , as a child, abir couldn't understand many things, I agree but in meenu's words " abir is neend mein bhi hoshiyar " so why not give this hoshiyar man , a son who is her abhimaan a chance to know the truth ? Infact , abir himself took a stand against baba in the end when he gets to know the entire truth and even apologised to meenu , and he could have done that earlier also is meenu and family had chosen to be honest to him, clearly he wasn't obsessed with baba , because if he was , he would have chosen baba over his family and ignored the facts !! Coming to obsession , obsession could me someone drinking high and trying to jump from the terrace ? Obsession is someone not getting over the past and hurting people in present in the most nastiest ways possible? Someone trying to hate someone just because their ego hot hurt after facing a rejection? But even that is not obsession for me , because just like others have their share of past to contribute to their emotions at present , so does abir !!!

Now coming to your naani shrad part , since you have seen the episodes you must be aware that abir had a strong reason to question naanu that day because mins before he got a call from his baba for the first time saying " I am helpless , I need you , I need my sons " ....how do you expect abir to take this statement? Should he remain calm and ignore it ?? You must have seen how much that phone call impacted him , he asked naanu is he father even alive ? Now he comes the twisted part , I have seen that reply 4 times and I don't know why naanu twisted it for him

"Bohot saal pehle company mein fraud Hua tha , jispe sabse zyada bharosa kiya tha Maine usne mujhe dhoka diya tha , koslu bohot chota tha , meenu tujhe leke yahan aa gayi meri madad karne "

"Aur baba ne madad karne se inkaar kar diya , yeh maa ka version hai mujhe sach janna hai nannu " says abir

So what did you figure out here? Naanu is giving a wrong story here , he is telling fraud Hua hai but isn't naming that the fraudster is baba , baba had some problem with meenu helping naanu, what problem ....?

infact the way abir completed the sentence makes me believe that meenu never let him knew that baba did the fraud , infact she only told baba Hume chod ke chale Gaye, so now imagine when baba came back and meenu and naanu showed him the proof that baba was only the fraudster, would abir believe anyone easily ? Wouldn't abir think ki pehle kuchh aur bola abhi kuchh aur , proofs the toh dikhaye kyun nahi ? Doesn't a child have the right to know about his father ? What wrong did he do to his mother ? Why the memories are so contradicting? Why are people lying and indirectly trying to stop him? Does his questioning make him an anti family man ? Especially when he can sense a layer of lies and manipulation around ? Btw talking about naani's shrad, I didn't see any other family man and family woman present there , can I assume no one cared about naani's shrad expect for abir and koslu ? No I won't!

Coming to abir filing an FIR , it was about someone calling him , addressing himself as his baba, the number getting out of reach after that phone call and meenu going to ganpati mandir all this just increased his curiosity and suspicion on meenu, that was the words he used on meenu ke at yeh sun ke kuchh toh bataye, he isn't like meenu who would send parul to jail to fulfill her selfish motives and ignore abir's emotional struggles , didn't even care about the new girl whose life would also get destroyed ?

abir didn't even know that naanu bimar hai , abir was in mahs house when naanu fell I'll, infact naanu was standing healthy in the next scene with abir , asking meenu to tell abir where baba is ....abir gave a fair chance to both naanu and meenu to explain their side , he even said he trusts naanu , but when he saw naanu lied to him about baba's whereabouts, what he is supposed to say? Can't he even ask why did you lie ? Meenu told him the wrong address , even sent a person behind him , always tried to hide things and conveniently lie , left no option for him but to venture out to find his answers on his own ? Why push him to that extent ? Abir said maa sahi ho sakti hai aur baba galat , par jooth kyun bol rahe ho ? He was ready to listen the truth , why weren't people ready to tell him the truth ?

And after all this , if that man finally breaks down in front of his family, tells him that he feels lost because there is no one around to understand his feelings and thoughts , no one to address his answers , someone has called him up and asked for his help , he is constantly facing lies and manipulations around, no one is caring enough to sit down and explain him , doesn't that person have all the rights to burst out his frustrations in front of his family members? Does that make him a drama queen? Yeh kaha ka logic hai , dusro ke tears is their emotional pain , dil pe laga dard etc etc etc , abir ka emotional outburst uska drama queen ....wah ji wah ji wah * slow claps * also I didn't when naanu told abir that his health is getting affected because of abir's obsession

Yes abir was definitely wrong in judging in baba, but is that his fault? Wasn't he made to believe certain things by baba , was he given a timely closure by meenu ? Was he totally wrong in finding some answers about his past ? Does a family member mean that you have to blindly follow your elders without even having the right to ask questions? Abir did cross his lines, but does that reduce him to being selfish, really ? So us hisab se toh saare hi selfish ho Gaye, family man woman raha hi kon?

Coming to man child , if a person makes mistakes, he tries to introspect , take stands for the right, tries to understand everyone, has highest levels of empathy, apologises when he realises that he went wrong rather than stupidly blaming others , gives chances to others , tries to look at the positive side and wants everyone to freely let their opinions and is an active observer in the journey of life , has 0 ego

, if all this makes him a man child then I am happy to stan this man child all my life!! Btw everyone is a child here , everyone is living a life and life is always a learning process , till your last breath so I really don't understand the concept of man child, who isn't here ?

Now coming to your final question, is family man ???

A person who can read her sister's eyes and can sense that something is wrong, her words don't match her eyes, she doesn't want to proceed with the rishta but has no idea how to deal with with it , who herself says its only abir who can help her , if for her he decides to leave his trip and is ready to go back home , help her sister explain her side , If this isn't a family man than who is he ?

A person who believes that isn't right for nanko to spend his life struggling between his mom and his brother, he wants to see his brother in a happy zone, who was always there for his brother like a father is there for a child , who always tried to understand him and bring him out of his blues, if he isn't a family man than who is he?

A brother in law who tried to understand kuku more than her own husband when she was getting divorced, gave her a shoulder to cry , inspired her to stop wasting her time and be independent, even helped her set up business, find her first client ( abir's friend neha ) even at times when he himself was dealing with a break up , where his own family members didn't even care to ask why is he wearing shades at home ? If he isn't a family man than who is he?

A person who was put into the most nastiest catch 22 situation, let the love of his go , didn't even take that 1% chance and choose his brother because he knew kunal's truth would shatter not only kunal but his whole family, decided to pay attention to parul's plea more than mishti , decided not to be "selfish" and take one for the family, if he isn't a family man who is he ?

He , who has suffered so much because of his mom's plans , physically, mentally and emotionally but still decided to let bygones by bygones and gave one chance to his mom and apni shaadi pe leke aaya clearly knowing that meenu is still on mishti hate mode, but still he did it for his family's happiness, if he isn't a family man , than who is he?

He , who has advised mishti long back to live separately, because he knew there are lot of complications that the family and mishti have with each other , so for happiness and peace of mishti and family if he takes this step , if he isn't a family man than who is he ?

Ah the latest one , he even tried to understand kuhu at her weakest , tried to make her understand in the sweetest way possible, even went against mishti on this , so that things don't sour in the family and meenu doesn't get an upper hand, if he isn't a family man than who is he ?

He decided to get parul a rightly deserved apology from kuhu , gets worried about her stand in the family, if he isn't a family man , who is he ?

Abir has always been there for all the family members when they need , he had his own struggles too , but he had never given them priority over his family, he himself says that when someone gets hurt in his family , he is the one who also feels the pain and he doesn't only say, he has shown it from his actions, many times !!

Just because he isn't a part of his family business or he hasn't given anyone a right to choose his partner , that makes him an anti family man?a

This is the biggest reason , his family tries to hold him around, he is like salt in the recipe , jab dish mein hota hai toh kisi ko kadar nahi hoti , kabhi salt ke bina dish banake dekhna, that will be the only ingredient that you will miss , no matter how much other ingredients try to make up , that's the reason they all tried to change his decision of living separately, somewhere abir is everyone's emotional guiding light

He calls himself banjara , he doesn't know that he actually is an anchor in everyone's life, just try to abir rajvansh house without abir , m sure many would not be able to imagine

I am very shocked that abir's emotions are made fun of sometimes by calling him a hot headed rebel who has an habit of leaving conversations midway, only if you realized that he does when he realises that there is actually no one around to understand him , to give him a shoulder to cry, to answer him ,

All I can see is his questioning eyes " why does my own family deceit me everytime I try to trust them ? What have i done to get such a treatment from my own ? "

Aqua , I am quite shocked with your take, you are someone who in interested to do ocean depth analysis on meenu kunal and kuhu , has such a take on abir at face value ? Who no ocean depth analysis for abir ? Why is he limited to hot headed banjara who is a rebel for no reason ?

Also , kudos to shaheer for taking up abir , he isn't just the best ML on ITV but I would say the best human being on ITV ( I need not elaborate this , samajh ne vale samajh Gaye )

and he is immensely loved by the audience who truly understand his character , certainly not the best but abir is one of the best characters that shaheer has played, it's so good to see the fun side , the nautanki side , the emotional side, the dances,

a full on paisa vasool character , if makers would have given more chances to abir to express his emotions in a detailed form , that would have been a cherry on the cake, I became a shaheer fan after this show only , abir will always remain special to me

PS: For the longest of time I kept myself away from such posts, but today I had to say, sorry If i offended anyone and was way too harsh for my replies .... but today I had to let it out, I don't mind the empathy and understanding of other characters , even I do that, but why no attempt to understand mishbir in the same way? Abir and mishti have their own set of flaws, and I accept them criticize them openly too when they go wrong but sometimes I believe that there is some misunderstanding around his character so I felt the need to speak up

Originally posted by: yrhpk_aus

Awesome post yaar Vaishu👍🏼🤗

Straight to the point and bang on!👏👏

@Bold: THIS is exactly the primary mistake that Meenu and Naanu continued to repeatedly commit. Even after Abir openly expressed his feelings, he admitted that he could be wrong and Meenu could be right, his Baba could be wrong and his faith on him - but even still both his mother and grandfather chose to try and coax him like a child diverted by sweets/candy

If only Meenu had just taken that genuine time and effort to sit down with Abir properly and explain to him of the details, and why she he had been hiding these truths, I'm sure Abir would have eventually (if not very soon) come around and accepted her words. ALL abir asked for was the opportunity to make his OWN informed decision about Baba not based on 'stories' he's been told for the last 20odd years.

Thanks nandu 🤗

Bold - that's exactly what he needed 🤔

Originally posted by: aquaHP

Update (as if anyone cares but anyway):

After watching Abir come back home just to announce he is going to leave (such a drama queen!), he says the following dialogues:

"Ho sakta ha ki aap sahi aur mai galat hoon. Ho sakta hai ke maa sahi ho aur mere baba galat. (No doy!) Lekin aapne mujhse jhoot kaha. Kya wo sahi tha?"

I mean, seriously? You are gonna palto the guilt on the family when they have been trying to hold it together when you can't accept the truth?! Come on! Take responsibility for something, dude!!!

sorry dear...i'll have to disagree with you on this.

Let's just back it up a bit and not just focus on this one dialogue...

first of all, from where did Abir just return from?

He returned from a 'trip' that was set up as 'wild goose chase' and diversion by his own mother. The main reason he left the house, was because he asked Meenu of his Baba's whereabouts and Meenu devised a quick plan by giving him a fake adress etc. So let's understand that Abir believed- meenu was finally 'giving' him the opportunity to find out the 'truth' on his own, without constant influenced pressure. So the fact that he trusted his mother's words and set of on this journey he truly believed, goes to show that IF only Meenu had taken that effort and time to sit down and talk to him about the truth, eventually Abir would have believed her or at least got know he was wrong much sooner than having Baba arrive and cause all that chaos in the family.

And that's exactly all he ever asked for! Abir just wanted the truth, but by simply repeatedly telling him 'aapka baba bura hai, aapka baba humein chod ke chal gaye, 'aapka baba acche insaan nahi hai'

is NOT answering his damn question at all!

@Bold: His question is very very valid. the one person he really did trust and believed was his best friend and companion in this house that didn't feel like a home...that one person Naanu broke his trust and heart.

Abir was always open to the fact that he could be wrong, he knew the possibility (although he didn't want to believe/accept it) that his Baba was wrong. But he still admitted that possibility that what Meenu and Naanu have been telling him is entire life, was potentially true, but didn't he deserve to determine and decide it by himself?

That's exactly why we see him feel utmost guilt and repentence when he finally does see/realise Mehul's true face/identity, he cannot believe how horribly he treated his mother and his family, and we see his guilt and sadness for about half a day...

then the writers decide to throw in the NEXT biggest drama immediately without giving enough time for Abir's character to get over this life-changing revelation. His entire world has shook, but Meenu then lands another bombshell - making him choose between the love of his life and his nanko, with Kunal's birth truth - which is also adds on to his Baba's real identity (now not only a fraudster, but a cheater too!)

And look at what Abir decided to do in the crumbling pressure and extremely emotional state he was in...he STILL chose KUNAL, he chose his family's dignity over the biggest happiness and love in his life Mishti.❤️

Just tried to bring out the complexity of this scene and dialogue...it's not something that can be judged just on it's own. Hope it didn't appear defensive

xx

And about his character gone banjaraness, he was not just a banjara

He is ngo owner

He had been entrepreneur of the year

He had built up a school

He had touched many lives

He's the sensitive feminist for which he has been respected the most

He's a nature lover

He's an artist

He still likes simple things

And all this things still makes a very cool awesome character, future mein there could be many plots where we would see all these sides of abir