Current track: from personal experience

I have been reading so many posts regarding good mother, bad mother, Ruhi would have celebrated Abhira ka pain, Abhira is being Mahaan, and wanted to say something from a personal experience point of view because these all were triggering for me.

My sister lost her baby at 6 months due to medical complications and nearly died herself. She took care of what she ate, wasnt worried about her child, was in fact enjoying the phase. I saw my sister and her husband fight for their baby, bury their baby, mourn his death, and then learn to grow out of it together, as a much stronger couple than they were going into it.

Did being carefree or not constantly worrying about her baby mean she would have been a bad mother and deserved to lose her child? Absolutely not! She is my second mother so I know the amazing mother figure she can be and will be. Ruhi worried about her child's faith and took one bad decision, but that didn't cause Abhira to lose her child, if I read right, he was already gone in womb. No matter the injection's presence. Ruhi being negative and stressed and Abhira taking care of everything she did, doesn't make either of them bad or good mothers, it makes them humans who were worrying about their respective problems and handling them the best they knew how.

As for Abhira giving her bsp, according to her, to Ruhi and saying it will call her Matashree, I am sorry but that's insensitive to a whole different level. She might love her as a her sister, but Ruhi has made it very clear that she hates Abhira for killing her mother and by association, Abhira. Having Abhira's child be the first to call her what she called her mother, is a daily reminder of what she lost, when she was a child and now. Plus, a baby is not a replacement. Ruhi has barely physically recovered, mentally and emotionally she has had no time to process her loss, mourn her loss, and giving her a baby and saying this is the replacement, is not healing her wounds, is reminding her what she has lost. My sister would have a child one day, I am sure she would love that baby to her last breath, doesn't mean she will forget her first born or treat this baby as a replacement, and their she would be saying that to her baby, not the baby of a woman she hates. What Ruhi needs is space to process herself and her loss, not be given a replacement baby, and while I know Abhira hasn't grown with family so won't have seen examples to know it, she remembers her depression when Ruhi was going to have a child and she was told she can't right? How she could be happy in front of everyone but the minute she was aside, she would cry and ask why not her? She wanted her husband to share her pain and would cry. And here because the roles are reversed, she wants Ruhi to be happy for her but not sad for herself? Ruhi calling the baby a samaan, is not wrong. She lost her child, one she grew for 9 months, she is not mentally in a place to comprehend so many things, and you can't just tell her, here, replacement baby to love.

I am not bashing anyone, Abhira, Ruhi, nobody, but yes, seeing Ruhi go through this and people saying she deserved it for being careless or stressed, or it should be bsp because Abhira took her medicines on time, or Abhira being mahaan and giving her baby and saying will call her Matashree is triggering for me because I have been the sister who watched. Sorry if anyone felt bad, but I had to get this out because I feel only for the mother. Everyone else doing whatever they think is right is annoying because nobody is worrying about what that mother wants, just own personal agendas.

Originally posted by: cutepigs

I have been reading so many posts regarding good mother, bad mother, Ruhi would have celebrated Abhira ka pain, Abhira is being Mahaan, and wanted to say something from a personal experience point of view because these all were triggering for me.

My sister lost her baby at 6 months due to medical complications and nearly died herself. She took care of what she ate, wasnt worried about her child, was in fact enjoying the phase. I saw my sister and her husband fight for their baby, bury their baby, mourn his death, and then learn to grow out of it together, as a much stronger couple than they were going into it.

Did being carefree or not constantly worrying about her baby mean she would have been a bad mother and deserved to lose her child? Absolutely not! She is my second mother so I know the amazing mother figure she can be and will be. Ruhi worried about her child's faith and took one bad decision, but that didn't cause Abhira to lose her child, if I read right, he was already gone in womb. No matter the injection's presence. Ruhi being negative and stressed and Abhira taking care of everything she did, doesn't make either of them bad or good mothers, it makes them humans who were worrying about their respective problems and handling them the best they knew how.

As for Abhira giving her bsp, according to her, to Ruhi and saying it will call her Matashree, I am sorry but that's insensitive to a whole different level. She might love her as a her sister, but Ruhi has made it very clear that she hates Abhira for killing her mother and by association, Abhira. Having Abhira's child be the first to call her what she called her mother, is a daily reminder of what she lost, when she was a child and now. Plus, a baby is not a replacement. Ruhi has barely physically recovered, mentally and emotionally she has had no time to process her loss, mourn her loss, and giving her a baby and saying this is the replacement, is not healing her wounds, is reminding her what she has lost. My sister would have a child one day, I am sure she would love that baby to her last breath, doesn't mean she will forget her first born or treat this baby as a replacement, and their she would be saying that to her baby, not the baby of a woman she hates. What Ruhi needs is space to process herself and her loss, not be given a replacement baby, and while I know Abhira hasn't grown with family so won't have seen examples to know it, she remembers her depression when Ruhi was going to have a child and she was told she can't right? How she could be happy in front of everyone but the minute she was aside, she would cry and ask why not her? She wanted her husband to share her pain and would cry. And here because the roles are reversed, she wants Ruhi to be happy for her but not sad for herself? Ruhi calling the baby a samaan, is not wrong. She lost her child, one she grew for 9 months, she is not mentally in a place to comprehend so many things, and you can't just tell her, here, replacement baby to love.

I am not bashing anyone, Abhira, Ruhi, nobody, but yes, seeing Ruhi go through this and people saying she deserved it for being careless or stressed, or it should be bsp because Abhira took her medicines on time, or Abhira being mahaan and giving her baby and saying will call her Matashree is triggering for me because I have been the sister who watched. Sorry if anyone felt bad, but I had to get this out because I feel only for the mother. Everyone else doing whatever they think is right is annoying because nobody is worrying about what that mother wants, just own personal agendas.

Sorry for your sister's loss..

I've been saying this since akshus time..a LOT of factors are out of control during pregnancy. Even in normal cases , things could go wrong at the last moment . It's abs nobody's fault and specially not the expecting mother ..unless she wants to abort /kill the child herself ..

Blame it on itv , somebody who didn't go through pregnancy would think this nonsense is for real.

Post delivery , the woman goes through a lot , more than the 9 months ...that 1-2 months are the toughest period of a woman's life .sometimes It takes time for the mother also to feel attachment to their babies, itna physical & mental exhaustion hota hai..so ruhi not thinking straight is fine , abhira also is not able to think straight , I give that much to her ..

It's just that abhiras overkindness is killing ..the itv mahanta syndrome has infected her badly & I know there's no turning back ..how can a woman even think that infertility is not a stigma ? How can a woman even have negative emotions towards her in laws, mil & sister ? How can a woman's life be of less consequence than a newly born? Likewise , a woman who is careless becomes evil , worthy of being kokhless . Bacha ruhi ka hai toh abhira ke paas nahi Jaana chahiye ..I can go on ..

As for the baby

They're just tossing him around and that is insensitive to a diff level ...

Originally posted by: Ambajee

Sorry for the emotional distress and the trigger this sequence is causing!!

Thank you. We have learned to cope, but seeing the mother's pain and nobody worrying about what she wants, and then people calling her a bad mother for being stressed for her child and saying she would have been happy so she deserves this, is just so painful because I have been where people would talk behind and be like oh, she was roaming here and there no, she didn't take care so aisa hi hona tha, saying she deserved it without saying it.

Originally posted by: Krinya

Sorry for your sister's loss..

I've been saying this since akshus time..a LOT of factors are out of control during pregnancy. Even in normal cases , things could go wrong at the last moment . It's abs nobody's fault and specially not the expecting mother ..unless she wants to abort /kill the child herself ..

Blame it on itv , somebody who didn't go through pregnancy would think this nonsense is for real.

Post delivery , the woman goes through a lot , more than the 9 months ...that 1-2 months are the toughest period of a woman's life .sometimes It takes time for the mother also to feel attachment to their babies, itna physical & mental exhaustion hota hai..so ruhi not thinking straight is fine , abhira also is not able to think straight , I give that much to her ..

It's just that abhiras overkindness is killing ..the itv mahanta syndrome has infected her badly & I know there's no turning back ..how can a woman even think that infertility is not a stigma ? How can a woman even have negative emotions towards her in laws, mil & sister ? How can a woman's life be of less consequence than a newly born? Likewise , a woman who is careless becomes evil , worthy of being kokhless . Bacha ruhi ka hai toh abhira ke paas nahi Jaana chahiye ..I can go on ..

As for the baby

They're just tossing him around and that is insensitive to a diff level ...

Exactly. Things go wrong even in perfect scenarios. There is a reason that even in perfect pregnancies, doctors keep a close eye on the mothers and babies both for good months after. And when you see it in real, it feels like a slap. My brother in law took the call to save my sister, something my sister hating and we all loved. Does that make us horrible relatives? No. He isn't even sure he wants to try again because he doesn't wanna lose her, does that make her a lesser woman or something? No. But this show has a 22 year old obsessing over a baby a day after her husband and her finally recovered from their traumatic wedding, so what can be said only.

Hope your sister is well now.

Originally posted by: cutepigs

I have been reading so many posts regarding good mother, bad mother, Ruhi would have celebrated Abhira ka pain, Abhira is being Mahaan, and wanted to say something from a personal experience point of view because these all were triggering for me.

My sister lost her baby at 6 months due to medical complications and nearly died herself. She took care of what she ate, wasnt worried about her child, was in fact enjoying the phase. I saw my sister and her husband fight for their baby, bury their baby, mourn his death, and then learn to grow out of it together, as a much stronger couple than they were going into it.

Did being carefree or not constantly worrying about her baby mean she would have been a bad mother and deserved to lose her child? Absolutely not! She is my second mother so I know the amazing mother figure she can be and will be. Ruhi worried about her child's faith and took one bad decision, but that didn't cause Abhira to lose her child, if I read right, he was already gone in womb. No matter the injection's presence. Ruhi being negative and stressed and Abhira taking care of everything she did, doesn't make either of them bad or good mothers, it makes them humans who were worrying about their respective problems and handling them the best they knew how.

As for Abhira giving her bsp, according to her, to Ruhi and saying it will call her Matashree, I am sorry but that's insensitive to a whole different level. She might love her as a her sister, but Ruhi has made it very clear that she hates Abhira for killing her mother and by association, Abhira. Having Abhira's child be the first to call her what she called her mother, is a daily reminder of what she lost, when she was a child and now. Plus, a baby is not a replacement. Ruhi has barely physically recovered, mentally and emotionally she has had no time to process her loss, mourn her loss, and giving her a baby and saying this is the replacement, is not healing her wounds, is reminding her what she has lost. My sister would have a child one day, I am sure she would love that baby to her last breath, doesn't mean she will forget her first born or treat this baby as a replacement, and their she would be saying that to her baby, not the baby of a woman she hates. What Ruhi needs is space to process herself and her loss, not be given a replacement baby, and while I know Abhira hasn't grown with family so won't have seen examples to know it, she remembers her depression when Ruhi was going to have a child and she was told she can't right? How she could be happy in front of everyone but the minute she was aside, she would cry and ask why not her? She wanted her husband to share her pain and would cry. And here because the roles are reversed, she wants Ruhi to be happy for her but not sad for herself? Ruhi calling the baby a samaan, is not wrong. She lost her child, one she grew for 9 months, she is not mentally in a place to comprehend so many things, and you can't just tell her, here, replacement baby to love.

I am not bashing anyone, Abhira, Ruhi, nobody, but yes, seeing Ruhi go through this and people saying she deserved it for being careless or stressed, or it should be bsp because Abhira took her medicines on time, or Abhira being mahaan and giving her baby and saying will call her Matashree is triggering for me because I have been the sister who watched. Sorry if anyone felt bad, but I had to get this out because I feel only for the mother. Everyone else doing whatever they think is right is annoying because nobody is worrying about what that mother wants, just own personal agendas.

Hope your sister is absolutely well now and so sorry for all the emotional distress caused .

Abhira was criticized for keeping her pregnancy a secret. She was fainting all over the place acting solo. I will always criticized her for the pregnancy itself .

Ruhi might be careless with her health and driving but inspite of all of that, her baby is alive.if ruhi was careless , that doesn't take away her mother's right.. .

Abhiras baby couldn't make it , it's not abhiras fault . Nobody said it is.

I'll not discuss passing on the injections , it was an itv excuse to show abhira as mahan. If ruhis child is Alive thanks to abhira , that doesn't mean child should be taken frm his mother & handed over to abhira.

The precap scene , well , ruhi hates abhira , that's the narrative . She won't start loving abhira if she "shares" her baby . Such a shit thing to do to place her baby on ruhis lap . Still , ruhis attitude with an infant is obnoxious & uncalled for..she can keep quiet and leave ..but this is the age of shraps and thali peeting no..so ott drama it is m...ruhi has gone to extreme ends in her hatred but abhira is still stuck on her family craving ...you can feel bad for somebody, that's OK , but everyone needs time and space to grieve..., in that case abhira can give her baby to ruhi . Will she do it?