Not Ruhi bashing - Page 7

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

Just want to add an example here for ummeed part some ppl are wired differently. Like for eg one parent who was abandoned by her kids may still have hope that her kid will come back and realize he loves his mother and will die waiting for the kid. The other parent may just understand that his son is never going to come back. He never loved him and starts hating him.

In BP, that's what was shown where zoya was madly in love with her husband and she ignored all proofs and still believed her husband can not betray her where as adi accepted the truth and started hating his wife pooja.

Similarly rohith accepted the truth he started hating ruhi. Ruhi unable to accept that armaan can betray after all the promises he made to her and still carries the ummeed for him to come back.

She will take time like how zoya did and eventually she will realize armaan was the villain in her life who used her and left her on altar.

Armaan used her?? For me the reverse holds true. She used Armaan's spinelessness to oust Abhira from his life . She used Armaan's blind love for family to destroy Ab's love confession.She used Armaan's guilt driven mind to get her things done.

Originally posted by: Lissagreg

Comparing Ruhi's obsession and zidd to Zoya?? Really?? Zoya's umeed didnt cause rift btw brothers. Zoya's umeed was only bringing misery to herself and the most important thing Zoya was not openly eyeing on her BIL when her husband was present just infront of her. Zoya's umeed didnt make her think something like Oh Have I done anything wrong by bringing a presumed dead person back to his family.. See u can be sympathetic towards her but pls dont compare her with Zoya 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Armaan used her?? For me the reverse holds true. She used Armaan's spinelessness to oust Abhira from his life . She used Armaan's blind love for family to destroy Ab's love confession.She used Armaan's guilt driven mind to get her things done.

One person will take time other will not. I am not comparing zoya and ruhi here. I am just saying zoya and adi reacted differently for same news. Similarly a person need not react same way we want him to react. In the end if you do not want to agree you can disagree and move on. I just put an example that everyone may not think like us.

Originally posted by: ShadowImbue

The difference between Armaan, Abhira & Ruhi are intentions & choices..Whatever u wrote might appear completely right at the surface level, as a perspective, but if we take entire storyline of S4 under consideration and characters' traits & approach then most of the points aren't accurate. If people can criticize their favorite character or couldn't justify their actions then people can also criticize a character merely because of her intentions & approach not because she is a roadblock in between ML & FL's togetherness.

Frankly speaking, Armaan & Ruhi had no story together. Those 2 days of infatuation & her choosing someone else as life-partner then getting married to Rohit to stay close to Armaan was her "choice". If Armaan asked her to get married to his brother she could've refused. Goenkas wouldn't have disowned her for refusing a proposal. Armaan had no such "intention" to stay close to Ruhi by asking her to get married to his brother Rohit. But Ruhi had such intentions which made her wrong but same can't be said about Armaan. He didn't feel that strongly for Ruhi to take stand for their marriage alliance, specifically when Ruhi already decided to get married to his brother, it's his choice.

Ruhi knew about Armaan-Abhira's deal marriage from the beginning but did Armaan gave her "hope" for the entire year? He asked her to "move on" with his brother even when his own marriage with Abhira was deal marriage, there was no hope. When Rohit was declared dead by his family Armaan was about to choose a life-partner for Ruhi without any regret or residual feelings, he didn't choose Manav not because he had given Ruhi any kind of "hope" or he wanted to get married to Ruhi but because he felt Manav wasn't compatible with Ruhi. His intention was to find a suitable groom for Ruhi which obviously wasn't him. There was no "hope" during those 5-6 months. So, the statement that he gave false hope to Ruhi for 1 year isn't correct as initially he wanted her to move on with his brother later on he wanted her to get remarried (obviously not with him).

Ruhi has seen Ar-Ab getting close or comfortable in each other's presence & it made her insecure. Ruhi witnessed Armaan taking stand for Abhira for which she kept blaming Abhira though it was Armaan's choice. Dadisa's love story made her believe Armaan-Abhira will have same love story or will eventually fall in love with each other so she got their divorce papers ready before time. She revealed Charu's kand so Abhira couldn't confess her love for Armaan. Those were her choices which can't be justified & nobody else can be blamed for it. Armaan's mistake was he shouldn't have give in to Ruhi's demand of talking to dadisa because of her destructive and suicidal tendencies.

Armaan was getting married to Ruhi & had given her false hope to get married to her during or after his divorce proceedings, as for him she was a suitable DIL for his family for maybe 2-3 months (from her attempt to suicide till the day of marriage) he also clarified to Ruhi "I'm getting married to you because of my family" but she was adamant that he will fall in love with her again. Armaan made a wrong choice and faced it's consequences. Armaan left Ruhi at altar, she was also given a choice to leave Armaan at altar by Goenkas but she didn't because of her unhealthy need to associate her happiness only with Armaan. She begged for love that was her choice. Armaan was humiliated and slapped.

Abhira despite all her flaws gracefully wished Armaan-Ruhi a happy married life but Ruhi kept instilling seeds of doubt in Abhira's mind regarding their incompatibility. It was Ruhi's choice to stay delusional & try to prove herself superior or a victim, nobody else was responsible for it. Ruhi tried to manipulate Vidya against Abhira addressing her dusri aurat. It was her choice.

When Armaan made it clear several times that he loves Abhira, Ruhi is still having "umeed" to get together with Armaan. He isn't even 1% wrong from the time as he set clear boundaries.

When Rohit returned she blamed him for running away & didn't introspect her own actions. She again portrayed herself a victim. Vidya, Dadisa keep talking how Ruhi should give Rohit a chance but what wrong did Rohit do to request for a second chance? They should instead be talking about how Rohit can give Ruhi a chance even after betrayal and deceit.

Obsession, Self-Victimization, Superiority complex, Hypocrisy, Suicidal tendencies, Manipulations & Lack of self-worth. This character isn't merely bashed because she is a third-wheel but because of mentioned personality traits which has nothing to do with ML or FL.

See, no one is saying that Ruhi's character is not faulty and flawed. It is. But the post is about how her pain and her trauma is often overlooked because of which she ends up making more mistakes. The name calling and the vulgar words that have been used for Ruhi are not limited to just this forums.

There is a huge difference between criticizing someone and insulting someone. Right now, Ruhi is being insulted and not criticized so of-course it is a problem.

Also, who made you the judge to pass judgements on whose love is true and whose is not, about how many days are required for people to fall in love and all? I am going to share a personal story here - my paternal uncle had gone to meet this girl and her family as they were in talks for an arrange marriage. When he went their to meet the girl, he also got the chance to meet her neighbor and fell in love with her in that instant and told my grandparents that he would marry the neighbor girl who is now my aunt. They have been married for over 40 years now.

So, I believe that love doesn't need any such validations like time, society, and all. The difference in this situation being that Ruhi fell in love but Armaan probably did not love her enough.

There is no denying that Ruhi made wrong choices just to be near Armaan but when has love ever been logical? People to crazy things in love, some can be justified but some cannot. It is just their way of love which is different for different person.

Ruhi's trauma is not letting her move on. She got too attached to Armaan and is in love that no matter what she tries or thinks to do, she is finding it unable to move on. She just cannot seem to let him go because she has already lost so many people in her life.

Her father passed away before she was born, her mother passed away when she was a child, her Poppy chose Akshara and Abhir over her, Abhir is also not with her, the Birlas aren't there wither. She clearly has abandonment issues which makes it difficult for her to work on them and she continues trying to get back with her ex to fill the void.

All the traits that you pointed out have a deeper reason. Each of them is a result of her trauma. No trauma, no opinion. We are not the ones who are being superficial here, alright.

Originally posted by: Lissagreg

I dont think Ruhi is being treated unfairly by the people of fandom. She is being called out for all the right reasons.Leave everything else why would you even keep hopes on that same guy who left u in altar? For any woman there is nothing which can be more humiliating than this. Acc to Ruhi she came back to PH for the sake of humanity right??. And what was she doing? Making Rohit's wounds more deeper. She also knew that she is yet to move on from Ar. But still she chose to come PH and kept eyes on Armaan. All these can never be love. In the name of love u dont have right to make the lives of people around u more difficult. Ruhi is time and time again doing that only. Yes Ruhi saved Rohit's life. But what was her thought after bringing him back home? That now she can never get back to Armaan.. Is there anything more pathetic than this? She in her whole life has cared about herself only. And I have no sympathy for such a character. Armaan may have lead on Ruhi in past. But now his stance is crystal clear. So whatever Ruhi is doing now only she is accountable for that.

Making Rohit's wounds more deeper?

What about Ruhi's wounds? What about her trauma?

You clearly do not know how trauma works, how PTSD, abandonment issues work. I am not going to argue with you here because I know that no matter how much I will try to explain you and others like you would not understand.

Originally posted by: cutepigs

Your last line! That's what Rohit is saying to Abhira also I think, that how can you trust he won't "be in love" with you later. Had that shown Armaan saying he fell out of love or Abhira's boldness made him fall in love with her, nothing wrong with it, but him completely negating Ruhi is what makes him a horrible ML for me.

Even I cannot trust a ML like him, who knows what he will do to Abhira once he starts thinking that she is not the person he fell in love with.

Originally posted by: cutepigs

Everyone loves saying she killed her mother because it helps show her a villian again, so since she killed her mother, she deserves all sadness, that's the maths. Akshara bringing up Ruhi won't have helped the story because then how would they have shown Ruhi a villian? They couldn't repeat Sirat Akshara and Arohi story right.

You know what I think happened?

Makers noticed that Aarohi started gaining popularity over Akshara so in this season they are trying to make Abhira to be like Aarohi and Ruhi to be like Akshara. It helps that Abhira has the female lead title attached to her so people will accept her being rude by calling her blunt and truthful. They will accept if she makes mistakes and poor choices as well.

In ghum pakhi didi had no trauma she had no abandonment issues. She was clearly a villain where as in yrkkh the story is continued from last gen and ruhi has some trauma and they are already showing her going through therapy.

She clearly was shatterred when everyone left her so makers can use that as in prev gen also many of ak's mistakes were justified as she was held responsible for sirat's death so her behaviour was based on that.

So this gen they may show rohith realizing Ruhi's past and healing her from inside.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

One more clip when ruhi called out armaan he said he loves ruhi

He constantly gave her umeed but just because he is a man he gets freepass if he says he never loved ruhi sorry to say armaan ruined Ruhi's life and all accusation ruhi put on him was right. He did a timepass with her.

Not just a man but also the male lead. So no matter what he does, if he goes back home to the female lead, every mistake will be justified and forgiven.

Originally posted by: Lissagreg

In all those wedding celebrations Armaan stood there like a statue. Still she chose to ignore it. Even her own family members warned her and still she went ahead with marriage. Armaan also told her he has fallen out of love with her. Still she herself opted to remain there. Makes me believe that she only loved the title of being addressed as Mrs Armaan Poddar. Even if there is no love Ru will still be ok with it. And this is what I call as a very unhealthy obsession.

Why shouldn't Abhira trust Armaan? From the day he confessed his love to Abhira that guy is doing everything possible to get her trust back. By choosing Armaan Abhira chose her happiness only. If Ruhi still loves to live in her past then thats her choice . Why shouldn't Armaan and Abhira not move on in their life?

Ruhi is the not the only one who has suffered. Even Armaan also had a troubled childhood. Abhira also lost her mother. Still Armaan and Abhira let go of their traumatic memories and looking towards their future. Its all about preferences.

See I cant justify Ru's actions because of her mental health issues. Like I said in my earlier post when she knew that she is yet to move on from Armaan why would she even come back to PH? Making Rohit's life more miserable. In her stubbornness, delusion and obsession she is not only destroying herself but also causing damage to Rohit's life too.

Abhira did not have the same trauma or even 20% of it as Ruhi did.

She lost her mother after spending so much time with her while Ruhi lost her mother when she was a child and then heard and believed when the adults said that it was her Maasi's fault. Her Poppy left her along with her brother Abhir. She has PTSD and abandonment issues which Abhira does not. Of course, the loss of a parent is always traumatic but Ruhi was a child left alone by people she loved and those who stayed with her didn't do a thing about her trauma.

@bold - One reason is abandonment issues. Second being we don't know why she chose to go back. And Ruhi alone is not responsible for making Rohit's life miserable. Rohit too made the wrong choice of running away.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

In ghum pakhi didi had no trauma she had no abandonment issues. She was clearly a villain where as in yrkkh the story is continued from last gen and ruhi has some trauma and they are already showing her going through therapy.

She clearly was shatterred when everyone left her so makers can use that as in prev gen also many of ak's mistakes were justified as she was held responsible for sirat's death so her behaviour was based on that.

So this gen they may show rohith realizing Ruhi's past and healing her from inside.

Exactly! But some people are not able to understand this simple fact.