Hello all!
This is my first work in this fandom and while I have followed all 4 generations beech beech me, more actively watched episodes of second season(Kaira), I have never written anything on them. I have a few ideas and I want to write it as an FF but I have no time hence leaving this first chapter as an OS. I might make it into an FF later but I'm not sure I will be able to. But I hope you all like this and do leave your comments. Coming back to IF after a long time and I'm really nervous.
This one shot is based on Abhira's thoughts and pov.
PS: The title might not be completely apt but this is the only one I could find that remotely fit because I'm very bad at titles.
The sheets felt like coils around her body, trapping her and digging painfully into her skin. Her breaths came out in pants, suffocation enveloping her. All there was, with no sign of light, was the darkness around her. She tried to move but to no avail as every part of her body suddenly felt extremely heavy. Despair gnawed from the corners it had been pushed to and whispers of grief permeated through her. She felt like an effigy imprisoned in a casket, so mercilessly alive but just as ruthlessly chained in, the screams needing to escape her silenced in the walls of the fortress within. It felt like drowning, the sheer agony gradually arising in her like a slowed cascade, killing her bit by bit as she lay aware yet helpless. But it was precisely what she deserved for her own role in her loss! It had been her foolishness or her overconfidence that had let her think she was strong enough to make the sacrifice for once because her mother had done so all her life while she just wasn’t. She wasn’t strong and she had paid the price of her folly by losing the only person her world revolved around! Tears slipped past her closed eyes, seeping into the pillow and leaving the only physical stain of the unraveling threads of her emotions, those tears caressing the same contours of her visage as they had ever since that wretched day. The coils tightened, distant, hazy voices reverberating at the periphery of her fortress a desperate call as she continued to give in under the burden of her grief and guilt. And then, she was jostled out of it by the sudden, inexplicable gush of warmth that catalyzed an iridescent flare once frozen in ice. The heaviness in her body dissipated as the warmth became more prominent, her choking breaths easing in her chest slowly. The darkness suddenly didn’t seem as imposing and the cascade halted. As the sensations returned, she could feel the source of the warmth centered on the hand draped over her waist delicately. She inched closer feeling the grip tightening and the undeniable feeling of safety blanketed her. The pain, still prevalent, eased a little. It felt okay and she slipped past the tenebrous place to a deep state of sleep.
When dawn greeted her with rays of light slipping past the gap in the curtains, she woke up to an empty bed, the lingering essence of calloused palms around her waist and the feeling of comfort for the first time in days. Thoroughly confused by the sensations and unwilling to give thought to the most logical and obvious answer, she got out of the bed, sparing a glance to the other half of the bed from the corner of her eyes. She began her day, mentally prepping herself to another day sure to be another rollercoaster with acceptance, resentment and weird friction with the people who accepted her, Dadi Sa and Ruhi respectively.
She ran the shower, her thoughts now shifting to the one person she did not understand where she stood with yet whose opinion seemed to strangely matter to her – Ruhi. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was that made her feel a connection in her soul with Ruhi that put her in this weird place between not wanting it to matter and getting affected by her sometimes cordial, sometimes cryptic disposition. She also wasn’t blind and the perpetual sorrow in Ruhi’s gaze and the smile that had forgotten to be genuine did not escape her and she wished she could understand the reasons behind it because she couldn’t shake the feeling that the volatility between them was because of it.
She sighed, leaning against the wall as the shower drenched her. It felt tiring, this mess of equations around her. She felt lost, left to navigate a completely different world with no support system except maybe she did have one person who could guide her. Her eyes snapped open at that thought! The equation with him was the only one that had remained constant after surviving the blow of her mother’s dying wish that bound them in a matrimony neither wanted. With him, it was stable and it was predictable. He stood by her always, the calm frontier while her winds raged and doused and for the first time since their marriage she realized she had never acknowledged that he had been the one constant she relied on amidst all this inconsistency and unpredictability. They never were friends and after a year, they will be free from this unconventional relationship. He didn’t know her and she didn’t know him well enough but maybe it didn’t have to mean constantly berating and pushing him away while he stood with her, even if it is out of duty. She sighed again, stopping her thoughts from going any further. She didn’t need to ponder this anymore, it didn’t matter for now. She should just focus on getting through the day. And if something in her was hesitant at that thought, she brushed it away!
Vanshaj
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
