I don't think Naitik is wrong..

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

gksk

@gksk

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: pree4ru
See we r not telling Naitik is wrong going to abroad but his reason because things r not proper in India thats wrong okay fine for instance we take he is right in doing so leaving something even without adjusting but why be selfish ? just thinking abt yourself and not abt ur parents and others who made him capable of what he is today ? Isnt his duty to make them understand ? In this whole act both Naitik and AKshara are being way kiddish both are like wow yest neither akshi bothered to talk nor did naitik .

He wanted to take his entire family. But his parents are not interested in going for a holiday, leave alone shifting abroad.

Quote

gksk

@gksk

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#22

Originally posted by: komal_naksh
As a husband n father he is right..but what about his responsibilities as a son?He is being a selfish son..He should think how he would feel when duggu will take the same decision in future..

He wanted to take his entire family. But his parents are not interested in going for a holiday, leave alone shifting abroad.

I don't think he would or should be sad if Duggu settles abroad. I have a lot of friends who are settled out of India. All their parents are happy and satisfied that their children are leading a good life. Only ones not happy are the ones whose children never come to meet and also never invite them to stay with them to save money. I don't think naitik would do that.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

xROBINx

@xROBINx

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#23

So according to you everyone should shift to foreign because india is not safe 😕

Quote

gksk

@gksk

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: -Robin-
So according to you everyone should shift to foreign because india is not safe 😕

I don't know about everyone, but till the people (read men of all ages) in India realise that they have made the country not liveable for women, I don't want to willingly go back to India.

People don't realise that their daughters also go thru all this same thing everyday.

All television serials show that we should be proud of our country because it has a great culture.

I want to know what culture are they talking about??

The culture where half the men out on street are ready to eve-tease or molest a woman if they get a chance and other people will just look away?

Believe me if you have not faced it but this happens.

The culture of demanding dowry and killing the girl if her family can't provide it?

Everyone knows this is also true. My in-laws are the best possible. I did not bring any dowry with me in my wedding except basic stuff. And noone ever said a single word to me about it and always showered me with love. But when I was opening my bags in front of all the ladies, I could see the hope in my mom-in-law eyes before I opened the bags and disappointment (which she tried hard to hide) after they were all open. I could se the twinkle in all neighbors eyes after finding out that I did not bring much dowry. Even now, all neighbors and relative ladies who have sons married before I visit my in-laws house make sure to come and describe in great details how much dowry their daughter-in-laws got with them. My mom-in-law always answers them by saying that a good daughter-in-law is more important than all that and try to defend me. But, its just like my mother defendeing me in front of my father when I did not get excellent marks.

The culture where a mother thinks in her mind that she better have a son so that her daughter does not face all this?

If you look in your herat many of you will realise that this is also true. My husband and I had started planning a baby when we were in India. At that time, I would have wished for a son. I got pregnant a year after moving to US. Then when everyone asked, what I want. I truthfully said a daughter. I even had a name picked up years earlier. 😊

The culture of a country where yearly promise is needed by a brother to protect his sister because she is not really safe and the promise makes her feel better?

I have a brother 10 years yonger than me. I used to tie him rakhi every year. And I always thought why do I need to be protected. My brother does not tie a rakhi to me for a promise to protect him. If he is safe why aint I?

The culture where if a woman is raped the entire society looks down at her and most of them blame her for it?

We all know that is true too. A lot of women don't even file cases due to this.

The culture where parents tell their daughter that if someone tries to molest her, she should not retaliate and just try to come running home?

My parents always told me to come home running. Most parents do too. Once while in college, all my friends and I went to a college fair. We were a big group. A guy tried to tease one of my friends. When she got angry and slapped him back, he tried to pull her dupatta. We all friends beat him and his friends out of their. When our parents found out we all were scolded by our parents. Why didn't we just leave the fair and come back home? They scared us by saying that the guys can retaliate back. For a month, the parents took turns picking and dropping all of us to and from college. I felt so bad.

I am really sorry but I am not proud of this culture.

I don't like being in America because of higher salary or good roads. I like it here because I feel safe here and feel that my daughter would be safer here than in India. If I am carrying heavy load and some stranger says that he will help me with the stuff till my car, I dont get scared thinking that he is trying to get cosy with me. My husband and I are saving every penny that we can in an education fund for our daughter. She is an american-citizen because she was born here. The visas for my husband and me will expire in a few years. We would have to go back to India after that. If we would have saved enough money till then, we are ready to put my daughter in a boarding school and leave her here. I will console my heart that even if she is not with us, she is safe. I don't want my daughter to go through what every girl in India goes through. And I will do whatever I can to ensure that.

I am not saying that crimes against women don't happen here. Its just less frequent and a victim gets sympathy and help from others atleast. If India has been given a place among most unsafe countries of the world, then I think there is really something to be worried about.

If someone would give you a job in Afghanistan, would you go because it has great culture? Or would you prefer India because it is safer and has better infrastructure? Same way I prefer US to India. And I am not ashamed of it.

Edited by gksk - 13 years ago

Quote

Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#25

hmmm This is what I googled and found

America : No. 1 country in CRIME

India: No. 10 Country in Crime

Sooo.. you do the math

Edited by Suchi-Virmanian - 13 years ago

Quote

Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#26

Sooo I am not sure how safe America is .. in comparison to India.. .not to forget India does have 1 billion population.

But yes, I think we do not feel the crime here much .. as compared to India but those are the statistics.. which I posted above..

Crime rate is higher in U.S.

..Before I would say its better to raise a child in india due to the moral degradation here in U.S. but now I cannot say that too cause, india is very much following the footsteps of 'western' culture..

thus , the moral structure is getting very weak..

There is less family bonding,

Lesser sense of responsibility towards family, elders etc.

More divorces

lack of respect towards Marital relationships

Out of wed-lock relationships , which in turn leads to children being born in a broken family , leading to psychological issues etc. etc.

So I would say , Pros and Cons everywhere...

people usually prefer to LIve in U.S. cause of money and good living standard but ..

there are repercussions as well.. which are quite subtle to notice right away..

Quote

gksk

@gksk

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: Suchi-Virmanian
Sooo I am not sure how safe America is .. in comparison to India.. .not to forget India does have 1 billion population.

But yes, I think we do not feel the crime here much .. as compared to India but those are the statistics.. which I posted above..
Crime rate is higher in U.S.

..Before I would say its better to raise a child in india due to the moral degradation here in U.S. but now I cannot say that too cause, india is very much following the footsteps of 'western' culture..

thus , the moral structure is getting very weak..

There is less family bonding,
Lesser sense of responsibility towards family, elders etc.
More divorces
lack of respect towards Marital relationships
Out of wed-lock relationships , which in turn leads to children being born in a broken family , leading to psychological issues etc. etc.

So I would say , Pros and Cons everywhere...

people usually prefer to LIve in U.S. cause of money and good living standard but ..
there are repercussions as well.. which are quite subtle to notice right away..

To prove how authentic your list is, just try and search Afghanistan or Pakistan or Congo or Somalia. They dont feature on the list. That means there is no crime in all these countries. Correct?? Wow!! 😆😆😆😆😆

Now, suppose there is a fire or theft in your house in India. Minimum, how long do you think the fire-brigade or police or ambulance will take to reach you after you have called them? 30 minutes? 1 hour?

In US, emergency services have a threshhold limit of 3 minutes turnaround. I have seen this first-hand. There was a fire in our neighbourhood. Someone called 911, there were 4 fire-trucks and 3 police-cars there within 2 minutes. nd more fire-trucks kept coming in till the fire was completely gone. We once witnessed an accident on highway, I called 911. The ambulance was there before 3 minutes. Once late at night, we saw a woman and man shouting on the road in front of our house. She was screaming 'Let me go' and he was not leaving her hand. So we called 911. 3 police-cars came within 2 minutes and surrounded them. It turned out to be just a fight between a boy-friend and girl-friend who were having a break-up. But, I was impressed by the short time in which help was there. I feel good thinking that if someone is harrassing my daughter and she calls 911, she will get help. Thank God.

Now to give you a wake up call. I once forgot to lock my apartment front door here (in US) and realised an hour later. I called my husband and he said dont worry noone would try to break-in. My office is just 10 mins from my home and I have a car here. But I did not need to go home. We went home at usual time and nothing had happened. In India, my home was 2 hours away from home. If I would have realised that I forgot to lock the door there, I would have taken the day off and rushed home praying to God that everything was fine.

My parents neighbors home was swept clean when on a Sunday afternoon they had gone grocery shopping for an hour.

Also, do you know that this year India won the title of 'Worst country for women in the world'? US ranked No. 6 in Best countries for women. Where do you think I wish my daughter to live.

Now, in answer to your point regarding moral structure. As I said before, I sometimes feel India's morals for many people have become just something that is for show.

There is less family bonding,

Lesser sense of responsibility towards family, elders etc.

Just living in one house does not show family bonds. My father-in-law owns the house and earns very good money from rent and pension. My husband's older brother works in the same city as my father-in-law house. So, he and his wife live with my parents-in-law. My husband and I live in US because we work here. His younger brother also lives here because he is studying here. So, that would mean only my older brother-in-law and his wife have strong family bonds. Correct?? Well, I don't think so. My sister-in-law is always fighting with my mom-in-law and my brother-in-law turns a blind eye toward it. We were told that I dont fight with my mom-in-law because I dont live with her. Well my in-law came to visit us for 6 months. We did not have a fight even once. I sometimes feel she loves me more than my mother did.

One of my American friends here cooks for her entire family and then goes to her fathers home to cook for him. She does his grocery shopping and laundry for him. Isn't that sense of responsibility towards family.

Moreover, everyone should put money in a retirement fund so that noone is dependant on their children. Americans always invest in retirement fund.

More divorces

lack of respect towards Marital relationships

Out of wed-lock relationships

If my daughter is beaten by her in-laws or husband; or if her husband has an illegal relation with someone, I would ask her to divorce him and leave his home that very moment. Does that mean I dont respect marital relationships? I believe that if you are not happy in your wedding then its btter to part ways. In India, marriages last longer because parents force children to always compromise and somehow cope with it.

I would just say that there are good and bad people everywhere. I have come across more bad people in India and more good people in US.

And, I would again say I am here because I feel safe here and I think that is very important.

Now when you talk about repercussions, I know you mean my children with be west-influenced. So, my daughter will drink and have boyfriends? Well, most of the girls in colleges in India drink now. My younger brother in India is always telling us about drink-parties they have in college for everyone's birthdays. And since school he used to tell us daily gossips about who is now whose girlfriend. I know a friend of his who was a girlfriend of my brother for a few months and then girl-friend of another of his friends for a few weeks and another friend for few months. Believe it or not, but the stories shown in Friends show are true for many youngsters in India now. Tannu shown in YRKKH is example of how girls in India are now. And mind you, she is a girl from a village. Imagine about girls and boys from metros.

So, the repercussions are something I cant stop even if my daughter was brought up in India. I can only save her from things which are against her wish.

Edited by gksk - 13 years ago

Quote

Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#28

Sweety, I was NOT talking about your family.. And def, not about your daughter.

I just said crime rate is more here vs India...and the moral standards argument , I did state that , it's almost the Same so no difference where they are raised anymore.

About countries that facing political changes...and regime issues naturally they will have a lot of violence. It's like saying, raising people in india during 1920 s was dangerous.. Or saying raising kids during 60s in us was dangerous due to the racial violence this country saw .. It was a troubled time.

So certain countries are going through huge political reforms right now..so violence is bound to happen.

But nothing like that is going on in US or UK, Canada right now..so what's the deal with HIGH crime rate then?

Your conclusion that India is less safer and US is more safer... It depends where you live in US.

People still hear gun shots every night and get killed for 5 bucks..

So I would say...instead of complaining.. The communities need to figure out a solution...

Moving away might be a solution for you but not for the the 1- billion people in India.

Edited by Suchi-Virmanian - 13 years ago

Quote

Charu

@Krinya

Trailblazer

+ 8

Team Critics

Posted: 13 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: gksk

I don't know about everyone, but till the people (read men of all ages) in India realise that they have made the country not liveable for women, I don't want to willingly go back to India.
People don't realise that their daughters also go thru all this same thing everyday.
All television serials show that we should be proud of our country because it has a great culture.

I want to know what culture are they talking about??
The culture where half the men out on street are ready to eve-tease or molest a woman if they get a chance and other people will just look away?
Believe me if you have not faced it but this happens.
The culture of demanding dowry and killing the girl if her family can't provide it?
Everyone knows this is also true. My in-laws are the best possible. I did not bring any dowry with me in my wedding except basic stuff. And noone ever said a single word to me about it and always showered me with love. But when I was opening my bags in front of all the ladies, I could see the hope in my mom-in-law eyes before I opened the bags and disappointment (which she tried hard to hide) after they were all open. I could se the twinkle in all neighbors eyes after finding out that I did not bring much dowry. Even now, all neighbors and relative ladies who have sons married before I visit my in-laws house make sure to come and describe in great details how much dowry their daughter-in-laws got with them. My mom-in-law always answers them by saying that a good daughter-in-law is more important than all that and try to defend me. But, its just like my mother defendeing me in front of my father when I did not get excellent marks.
The culture where a mother thinks in her mind that she better have a son so that her daughter does not face all this?
If you look in your herat many of you will realise that this is also true. My husband and I had started planning a baby when we were in India. At that time, I would have wished for a son. I got pregnant a year after moving to US. Then when everyone asked, what I want. I truthfully said a daughter. I even had a name picked up years earlier. 😊
The culture of a country where yearly promise is needed by a brother to protect his sister because she is not really safe and the promise makes her feel better?
I have a brother 10 years yonger than me. I used to tie him rakhi every year. And I always thought why do I need to be protected. My brother does not tie a rakhi to me for a promise to protect him. If he is safe why aint I?
The culture where if a woman is raped the entire society looks down at her and most of them blame her for it?
We all know that is true too. A lot of women don't even file cases due to this.
The culture where parents tell their daughter that if someone tries to molest her, she should not retaliate and just try to come running home?
My parents always told me to come home running. Most parents do too. Once while in college, all my friends and I went to a college fair. We were a big group. A guy tried to tease one of my friends. When she got angry and slapped him back, he tried to pull her dupatta. We all friends beat him and his friends out of their. When our parents found out we all were scolded by our parents. Why didn't we just leave the fair and come back home? They scared us by saying that the guys can retaliate back. For a month, the parents took turns picking and dropping all of us to and from college. I felt so bad.
I am really sorry but I am not proud of this culture.

I don't like being in America because of higher salary or good roads. I like it here because I feel safe here and feel that my daughter would be safer here than in India. If I am carrying heavy load and some stranger says that he will help me with the stuff till my car, I dont get scared thinking that he is trying to get cosy with me. My husband and I are saving every penny that we can in an education fund for our daughter. She is an american-citizen because she was born here. The visas for my husband and me will expire in a few years. We would have to go back to India after that. If we would have saved enough money till then, we are ready to put my daughter in a boarding school and leave her here. I will console my heart that even if she is not with us, she is safe. I don't want my daughter to go through what every girl in India goes through. And I will do whatever I can to ensure that.

I am not saying that crimes against women don't happen here. Its just less frequent and a victim gets sympathy and help from others atleast. If India has been given a place among most unsafe countries of the world, then I think there is really something to be worried about.

If someone would give you a job in Afghanistan, would you go because it has great culture? Or would you prefer India because it is safer and has better infrastructure? Same way I prefer US to India. And I am not ashamed of it.

I really liked your argument bec. it came straight frm the heart...ur abs right 😊

i dun know what's happening in YR these days, i'm not even interested...it's true tht all Indians cannot migrate to US and other countries but we need to address these serious issues immediately....I stayed in Noida for a long period of time n my parents r still there..I never understood why my parents were so overprotective of me but now i do...i was lucky that i have an access to a car so i feel safer but millions of girls out there don't have this privilege and they do face incidents of eve teasing , molestation , and much more humiliation...the worse part is such incidents r never reported bec. we all r scared our parents r scared of the worse...

i was brought up in Delhi & I'm in Chandigarh now ..we move around in high society circles n i've observed that basic thinking of ppl. is more or less the same like a century back...girl child should be aborted , dowry, need to have a son even if u have 2-3 of daughters ❓ the language is diff. but everyone is speaking the same thing...the root reason of these crimes is actually the dowry system...n the amount of show off ppl. do in marriages these days is only promoting dowry not reducing it...the common man suffers even more...Why is India not safe for women? bec. criminals get away most of the time..why isn't the law enforced if it's in place? n WE r the biggest culprits here...i think those who get a chance to live a better life should go ahead with it...yes, it's very tough to settle elsewhere ..pros n cons r there everywhere

Edited by _charu_ - 13 years ago

Quote

gksk

@gksk

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#30

Well, Suchi and Charu. I agree with what you guys are saying.

Suchi, I dont know why your list shows US as having high crime rate. I did not see it here. If you say so, maybe some people here may have killed for 5 dollars. Well, when I was in Noida, a shared auto driver had killed a 17 year student with an iron rod because the student did not want to pay new fare which had increased from 3Rs. to 5Rs. So, even in India, people are killed for 2Rs.

I think your list shows more crime rate in US because a lot of people here are ready to sue everyone else for anything minor too. You bumped me slightly with your shopping cart, case reported to police. I slipped in front of your house because you did not properly remove snow, case reported to police. Well, here I have insurance which easily pays if anyone sues me for such reasons.

In India, noone wants to go to police until its entirely necessary. And if they go to police, police would do everything possible to not file an FIR. One of my friend's bike got stolen in India. Police refused to file an FIR till forced to do so by contacting the commisionner. When my friend was just about to get the bike's value (Rs. 30,000) from insurance company, the police actually found his bike in another city when they caught the theif in an unrealted case. Insurance refused to pay as the bike was found. He had to give Rs. 20000 in bribe to police officers in 2 cities to get his bike back and pay transportation for bringing it back. So, finally after spending Rs. 25000 he got his bike back but it was in such a bad condition that he sold it for Rs.1000 to a scrap dealer and bought another one for Rs. 45000. He cursed the day the thief was caught. So, final result: less cases filed in India. Crime rate would ofcourse go down. Should I believe on the official reports and think crime is less in india or believe on what I saw first hand?? You tell??

I know running away is not the best solution. I also wanted to change things. I always shared how I felt when I was eve-teased on bus etc. to all my male friends. A few of them admitted they did so too and said that girls like it because it being eve-teased means you are looking good. I told them how humiliating it was really and no girl would ever like that. If even one of them decided not to do so after talking to me, it makes me feel good. But, it would still be like removing a drop from an ocean.

I always made sure to vote for the best candidate in my understanding, not for caste, religion etc.

I always used to throw garbage in the roadside garbage can even if that meant walking extra.

But slowly I felt I could not do much and nothing seemed to be changing for the good. Things seemed to go from bad to worse.

I know people say why you did not go in politics and change it. Well, I did not wish to be a politician. After 10th, I fought with my father because he wanted me to take biology as elective and become a doctor. I hated biology and wanted to learn computers and become a software engineer. I did not wish to be a doctor. Same way, I did not wish to be a politician. And if I would have wished, would I have succeeded. No. I am too much of an emotional person to be a politician. I cry if things go bad and shout while fighting. Would you like such a leader?? No, right?? 😃

I understand I got an option that not the entire 1 billion population in india has. When i decided to leave India, I felt exactly how people must have felt while leaving others behind on Titanic. They must have felt sorry for those who were left onboard and finally die. But staying back would not have helped either. So, they saved themselves. I did too.

I know the saying 'Rats are the first ones to leave a sinking ship'. I maybe a rat but I am a safe rat.

Edited by gksk - 13 years ago