Guys and girls can't be friends...and jealousy - Page 4

😆@Wally

Originally posted by: manzilmukul

😆@Wally

Glad to know that you have a psychology background too and hence, no wonder your beautiful writings.

I am glad someone understands 'INTIMACY' is not equal to 'Sexual Intimacy'. It is a BOND.

Well, I agree with you on the men's thought process vs women's. Women, given the kind of upbringing in Asian societies, are better adapted to the 'Concept of Platonic Friendship' where inhibitions on our mindsets lead to the mental conditioning that a romantic partner which is generally the husband is supposed to be a 'Sexual interaction' and rest comes under other boundaries. Hence, women find it easy to bond with the opposite sex and not necessarily come to a phase of being attracted. Even if they are, they self-preach and cover it under the garbs of being 'JUST FRIENDS'. This has been rightly pointed out by Malkasub as well.

In my life, I did have the audacity to express my 'extreme attraction' to my long time best friend and I cannot tell you how flabbergasted we both were when he gasped and SCREAMED, ' Why didn't you say it to me earlier? I've been dying to say the same thing to you but couldn't afford to lose a friendship, so kept quiet'.

And 17 long years, we are 'STILL FRIENDS', yet 'HAPPILY MARRIED' to each other.😆😆

@blunt one liners. I have seen much in life and being from an older generation, I like to keep it that way. Life doesn't come wrapped in candyfloss. It's different and the faster we learn about truths, the better our understanding of relationships.

Meanwhile, I enjoyed reading the discussions here 😃

Thank you for the interesting read!

Lubb

Piu

Originally posted by: Spartan187

Wow. I genuinely cannot say it better, and I cannot even add anything, I agree 100% :) Lol, so one more example of a man/woman friendship that was actually much more but hidden, I have said there's more truth to this whole men/women friend thing than ppl realize lol!

Your comments regarding asian society and how all other males are forced into the friend category is quite true as well.

You need to write more here, your replies are very good!

"Wally
There are always exceptions to any "rule", something as complex as gender stereotype is never going to be black and white, but it is majority or minority, and i do believe the majority of men/women can only rarely be purely platonic friends"

Hmmm...thanks for that reply Wally...still going I see ;)) enjoying all the posts.
Wally, Piu. Maanu, Cora

I still feel relationships between the sexes do not need to be boxed- I think its our penchant to box things up that gets in our way of friendships and tries to home in on why we get along with that person. Mostly its conditioning, environment peer pressure etc perhaps there is an evolutionary factor in there somewhere but I have always taken people as people, I still believe men n women can be just friends- lifelong friends at that.
Relationships do and can change throughout our lives with the people in our lives- yes that's a given - but the best possible example I can provide you with (apart from personal experiences as I have life long male friends ) is from the show it self a point about- Kirshna and Drupadi 's sakhi/sakha relationship.

Step out of the box - evolution be damned ;)) -

Wally and others,

While I am still not able to sit down for long (he he, I know how much bak bak I do here) post on this. I have read an article a few days ago which was written from evolutionary psychology point of view. It does confirm the view that we while men find it hard to remain friends with opposite gender, it comes more naturally to women. And guess what, it is not only a social conditioning but evolution and our biology which is a result of it, are equally responsible factors.

I am not sure if I can post the article here? Or give a link? Can anyone clarifiy? Is it allowed?

Originally posted by: C0raline

Wally and otgers,

While I am still not able to sit down for long (he he, I know how much bak bak I do here) post on this. I have read an article a few days ago which was written from evolutionary psychology point of view. It does confirm the view that we while men find it hard to remain friends with opposite gender, it comes more naturally to women. And guess what, it is not only a social conditioning but evolution and our biology which is a result of it, are equally responsible factors.

I am not sure if I can post the article here? Or give a link? Can anyone clarifiy? Is it allowed?

I don't think there's any reason you can't because you're not promoting the article or trying to monetize it etc, and it's in direct support of the whole post i wrote so it really does tie into the show as well since my post does refer to the show.

if you're worried, you can pm me the article and i will post it since it offers some support for both sides and I'll make sure you get the credit so you're not having to face any repercussions :)

Originally posted by: Spartan187

I don't think there's any reason you can't because you're not promoting the article or trying to monetize it etc, and it's in direct support of the whole post i wrote so it really does tie into the show as well since my post does refer to the show.

if you're worried, you can pm me the article and i will post it since it offers some support for both sides and I'll make sure you get the credit so you're not having to face any repercussions :)

Hi Wally,

Thanks for clarification. I am seriously sleep deprived with managing parent's with body clock attuned to a different time zone. :-D

I remember reading somewhere that articles from others sites cannot be cited and then realized it was rival sites (I do not know which they are) and promotional articles are not allowed.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201009/why-men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends

This is the link.

This is the article which is talking from evolutionary point of view why men find it difficult and women easier to maintain platonic friendships with opposite gender.

I will need some time to write my observations about the social construct (and they still will contain the observations bias which comes from anecdotes) which defines relationships.

As of now, I will wait for more opportune time.

A special thanks for creating this interesting topic! As usual thought provoking one and something which started a dialogue!

Love!