Vishakha- the human - Page 3

Originally posted by: rituriyaakhil

Vishakha has always been the real woman for me and I have always supported her even though majority of the fans dislike her to the core.

I have a close friend who was married at 18, right after the high school. She was three months pregnant and only 6 months into the marriage when her husband was killed in a freak car accident. At 19 she was a mom and a widow. Her parents found another suitor for her and asked her for remarry. Initially she refused because the guy's family had put the condition that the kid won't be joining her. Since she was so young and her whole life was ahead of her, her parents volunteered to raise her child and convinced her to get remarried. Unlike Sameer, her daughter does not have issues with either mom or the stepfather even though she does not live with them. However, whenever there is a party or festival, at least there will be at least one person who will assert that my friend was selfish and bad mother who left her kid to find her own happiness. That is how life rolls for moms who remarry in our society. My friend's remarriage happened in 1999. Vishakha probably got married in the 70s I cannot even imagine what women like her would hear in functions at that time.

I don't like to accuse anyone without knowing the real scenario. We know Vishakha remarried and Nanu stepped up to take care of kids but we don't know how her second marriage transpired. What if it was Nanu who urged her to remarry and then stepping up to take care of Sameer just like in my friend's case? To me leaving your kids to be raised by grandparents does not equate to abandoning your child. For me abandoning ones child mean leaving your child at orphanage, giving up your child for adoption or even dumping your child near a trash can. I don't think Vishakha did any of these things. I actually feel that she has done what she can under given circumstances.

Also we don't know her relation with Somani that much either. During Delhi track, we had seen Somani listening to Vishakha and even getting ready to open provident fund for Sameer at her saying. We also saw Somani taking care of her when she was sick. Now we are seeing different side of Somani where he is jealous of the attention his wife is showering on his stepson. Somethings are easier said than done - I am assuming there were promises from Somani to be the fair parent to Sameer as Viskhakha is to Rohan at the time they got married. If there were such promises, of course Somani did not upkeep those. Somani behaves just like a regular stepfather and Sameer behaves like a regular stepson who clash with each other like two metal containers and sandwiched in between is Vishakha. I think that Vishakha being a great mom to her stepson is actually a great trait that she has - not everyone can love someone else's child like that. If she can bestow so much love on someone else's child, why are we thinking of her as a bad person? I understand she has been limited due to her marriage to be with Sameer as much as she would have wanted but I have never felt she has not loved him. At this point people may argue that she is again choosing Somani over him but I think Sameer is married now and does not need her but she still has a biological daughter who is much younger than Sameer who takes the precedence.

My question is why are we so judgmental about a mom remarrying? Why is mother expected to make so many sacrifices? Does she not have the right to be happy? Kids grow old, they marry and they have their own life what about a mom's life? Remarrying does not always mean low self-esteem in women at all. It sometime takes more courage to remarry and face the taunts than chose to take the regular route of being a sacrificing mom.

After this post some people will come up and say I know this person who did not marry for the sake of her kid. Good for such women because they made their choices not to marry but if someone chooses to marry, I don't think we should condone her either.

Originally posted by: rituriyaakhil

Vishakha has always been the real woman for me and I have always supported her even though majority of the fans dislike her to the core.

I have a close friend who was married at 18, right after the high school. She was three months pregnant and only 6 months into the marriage when her husband was killed in a freak car accident. At 19 she was a mom and a widow. Her parents found another suitor for her and asked her for remarry. Initially she refused because the guy's family had put the condition that the kid won't be joining her. Since she was so young and her whole life was ahead of her, her parents volunteered to raise her child and convinced her to get remarried. Unlike Sameer, her daughter does not have issues with either mom or the stepfather even though she does not live with them. However, whenever there is a party or festival, at least there will be at least one person who will assert that my friend was selfish and bad mother who left her kid to find her own happiness. That is how life rolls for moms who remarry in our society. My friend's remarriage happened in 1999. Vishakha probably got married in the 70s I cannot even imagine what women like her would hear in functions at that time.

I don't like to accuse anyone without knowing the real scenario. We know Vishakha remarried and Nanu stepped up to take care of kids but we don't know how her second marriage transpired. What if it was Nanu who urged her to remarry and then stepping up to take care of Sameer just like in my friend's case? To me leaving your kids to be raised by grandparents does not equate to abandoning your child. For me abandoning ones child mean leaving your child at orphanage, giving up your child for adoption or even dumping your child near a trash can. I don't think Vishakha did any of these things. I actually feel that she has done what she can under given circumstances.

Also we don't know her relation with Somani that much either. During Delhi track, we had seen Somani listening to Vishakha and even getting ready to open provident fund for Sameer at her saying. We also saw Somani taking care of her when she was sick. Now we are seeing different side of Somani where he is jealous of the attention his wife is showering on his stepson. Somethings are easier said than done - I am assuming there were promises from Somani to be the fair parent to Sameer as Viskhakha is to Rohan at the time they got married. If there were such promises, of course Somani did not upkeep those. Somani behaves just like a regular stepfather and Sameer behaves like a regular stepson who clash with each other like two metal containers and sandwiched in between is Vishakha. I think that Vishakha being a great mom to her stepson is actually a great trait that she has - not everyone can love someone else's child like that. If she can bestow so much love on someone else's child, why are we thinking of her as a bad person? I understand she has been limited due to her marriage to be with Sameer as much as she would have wanted but I have never felt she has not loved him. At this point people may argue that she is again choosing Somani over him but I think Sameer is married now and does not need her but she still has a biological daughter who is much younger than Sameer who takes the precedence.

My question is why are we so judgmental about a mom remarrying? Why is mother expected to make so many sacrifices? Does she not have the right to be happy? Kids grow old, they marry and they have their own life what about a mom's life? Remarrying does not always mean low self-esteem in women at all. It sometime takes more courage to remarry and face the taunts than chose to take the regular route of being a sacrificing mom.

After this post some people will come up and say I know this person who did not marry for the sake of her kid. Good for such women because they made their choices not to marry but if someone chooses to marry, I don't think we should condone her either.