Vishakha- the human

Before u start bashing me thinking I'm here to defend vishakha,nope.

You do have a point. And I feel, the best thing about the show is how it tries to stick to reality. No character is pure white or black, which is only human.

You r right and kal k episode dekhne k baad pata chala ki sayed pehele bhi vishaka ko yehi haal kiya hoga so she was forced to leave Sam and which is real, real life Mein bhi jab aap dusri sadhi Karte ho toh aisa hota hai, dusri sadhi toh kya kuch ghar Mein toh single sadhi Mein bhi aise problem bhi honge, I agree itna real character dikhate hai na cvs ki har bar dil jeet lete hai, na over melo drama, yes bich Mein toda huwa tha phir bhi usko chodke hamisha reality hi dikhate hai.

You know what, I don't hate Vishakha. In fact, everyone does have a choice to choose their happiness. If her happiness lied with Mr. Somani, cool! She left Sameer with Nanu, still cool! Being selfish isn't bad I believe but sometimes you are selfish you don't need to pretend you are not. If she gave away Sameer and moved on in life I would have preferred no mention of her in his life too. It was very inhumane of her to shower so much of love on Rohan just in front of Sameer who recently lost his entire world, his Nanu (I'm talking of Delhi track. Saw it in bits and pieces.) I'm not very much familiar with the show tracks and the characterisation because I have started to watch it recently but the one thing I understood was, Vishakha, though chose to leave Sameer still wanted to run his life and continuously compared him with Rohan much to his dismay. There are times when a child needs his parents, at least his mother and she wasn't there, so I guess she stands no chance to voice her opinions in his life too later on when he learnt to be on his own. (I don't know what I wrote. I just am not happy with what she was in initial episodes because I'm still stuck on em 😆)

Vishakha type women exists everywhre & now too.It is not an easy thing to live on your own terms in society & mentally she is weak.There

I totally agree with your post. Everyone has their reasons. Vishakha was young I think, when her husband died. How would she live her entire life? Bearing taunts of the society. And her father was modern enough to get her remarried then why not. And ofcourse Nanu might hv assured her that he'll take care of Sameer. It was better than leaving him with Somanis (assuming Nanu had a very good understanding of people)

Originally posted by: Octothorpe

You know what, I don't hate Vishakha. In fact, everyone does have a choice to choose their happiness. If her happiness lied with Mr. Somani, cool! She left Sameer with Nanu, still cool! Being selfish isn't bad I believe but sometimes you are selfish you don't need to pretend you are not. If she gave away Sameer and moved on in life I would have preferred no mention of her in his life too. It was very inhumane of her to shower so much of love on Rohan just in front of Sameer who recently lost his entire world, his Nanu (I'm talking of Delhi track. Saw it in bits and pieces.) I'm not very much familiar with the show tracks and the characterisation because I have started to watch it recently but the one thing I understood was, Vishakha, though chose to leave Sameer still wanted to run his life and continuously compared him with Rohan much to his dismay. There are times when a child needs his parents, at least his mother and she wasn't there, so I guess she stands no chance to voice her opinions in his life too later on when he learnt to be on his own. (I don't know what I wrote. I just am not happy with what she was in initial episodes because I'm still stuck on em 😆)

Originally posted by: Octothorpe

You know what, I don't hate Vishakha. In fact, everyone does have a choice to choose their happiness. If her happiness lied with Mr. Somani, cool! She left Sameer with Nanu, still cool! Being selfish isn't bad I believe but sometimes you are selfish you don't need to pretend you are not. If she gave away Sameer and moved on in life I would have preferred no mention of her in his life too. It was very inhumane of her to shower so much of love on Rohan just in front of Sameer who recently lost his entire world, his Nanu (I'm talking of Delhi track. Saw it in bits and pieces.) I'm not very much familiar with the show tracks and the characterisation because I have started to watch it recently but the one thing I understood was, Vishakha, though chose to leave Sameer still wanted to run his life and continuously compared him with Rohan much to his dismay. There are times when a child needs his parents, at least his mother and she wasn't there, so I guess she stands no chance to voice her opinions in his life too later on when he learnt to be on his own. (I don't know what I wrote. I just am not happy with what she was in initial episodes because I'm still stuck on em 😆)

Vishakha has always been the real woman for me and I have always supported her even though majority of the fans dislike her to the core.

I have a close friend who was married at 18, right after the high school. She was three months pregnant and only 6 months into the marriage when her husband was killed in a freak car accident. At 19 she was a mom and a widow. Her parents found another suitor for her and asked her for remarry. Initially she refused because the guy's family had put the condition that the kid won't be joining her. Since she was so young and her whole life was ahead of her, her parents volunteered to raise her child and convinced her to get remarried. Unlike Sameer, her daughter does not have issues with either mom or the stepfather even though she does not live with them. However, whenever there is a party or festival, at least there will be at least one person who will assert that my friend was selfish and bad mother who left her kid to find her own happiness. That is how life rolls for moms who remarry in our society. My friend's remarriage happened in 1999. Vishakha probably got married in the 70s I cannot even imagine what women like her would hear in functions at that time.

I don't like to accuse anyone without knowing the real scenario. We know Vishakha remarried and Nanu stepped up to take care of kids but we don't know how her second marriage transpired. What if it was Nanu who urged her to remarry and then stepping up to take care of Sameer just like in my friend's case? To me leaving your kids to be raised by grandparents does not equate to abandoning your child. For me abandoning ones child mean leaving your child at orphanage, giving up your child for adoption or even dumping your child near a trash can. I don't think Vishakha did any of these things. I actually feel that she has done what she can under given circumstances.

Also we don't know her relation with Somani that much either. During Delhi track, we had seen Somani listening to Vishakha and even getting ready to open provident fund for Sameer at her saying. We also saw Somani taking care of her when she was sick. Now we are seeing different side of Somani where he is jealous of the attention his wife is showering on his stepson. Somethings are easier said than done - I am assuming there were promises from Somani to be the fair parent to Sameer as Viskhakha is to Rohan at the time they got married. If there were such promises, of course Somani did not upkeep those. Somani behaves just like a regular stepfather and Sameer behaves like a regular stepson who clash with each other like two metal containers and sandwiched in between is Vishakha. I think that Vishakha being a great mom to her stepson is actually a great trait that she has - not everyone can love someone else's child like that. If she can bestow so much love on someone else's child, why are we thinking of her as a bad person? I understand she has been limited due to her marriage to be with Sameer as much as she would have wanted but I have never felt she has not loved him. At this point people may argue that she is again choosing Somani over him but I think Sameer is married now and does not need her but she still has a biological daughter who is much younger than Sameer who takes the precedence.

My question is why are we so judgmental about a mom remarrying? Why is mother expected to make so many sacrifices? Does she not have the right to be happy? Kids grow old, they marry and they have their own life what about a mom's life? Remarrying does not always mean low self-esteem in women at all. It sometime takes more courage to remarry and face the taunts than chose to take the regular route of being a sacrificing mom.

After this post some people will come up and say I know this person who did not marry for the sake of her kid. Good for such women because they made their choices not to marry but if someone chooses to marry, I don't think we should condone her either.

Originally posted by: rituriyaakhil

Vishakha has always been the real woman for me and I have
always supported her even though majority of the fans dislike her to the core.

I have a close friend who was married at 18, right after the
high school. She was three months
pregnant and only 6 months into the marriage when her husband was killed in a
freak car accident. At 19 she was a mom
and a widow. Her parents found another
suitor for her and asked her for remarry.
Initially she refused because the guy's family had put the condition
that the kid won't be joining her. Since
she was so young and her whole life was ahead of her, her parents volunteered to
raise her child and convinced her to get remarried. Unlike Sameer, her daughter does not have
issues with either mom or the stepfather even though she does not live with
them. However, whenever there is a party
or festival, at least there will be at least one person who will assert that my
friend was selfish and bad mother who left her kid to find her own happiness. That is how life rolls for moms who remarry in
our society. My friend's remarriage
happened in 1999. Vishakha probably got
married in the 70s I cannot even imagine what women like her would hear in
functions at that time.

I don't like to accuse anyone without knowing the real
scenario. We know Vishakha remarried and
Nanu stepped up to take care of kids but we don't know how her second marriage transpired. What if
it was Nanu who urged her to remarry and then stepping up to take care of
Sameer just like in my friend's case? To
me leaving your kids to be raised by grandparents does not equate to abandoning
your child. For me abandoning ones child
mean leaving your child at orphanage, giving up your child for adoption or even
dumping your child near a trash can. I
don't think Vishakha did any of these things.
I actually feel that she has done what she can under given circumstances.

Also we don't know her relation with Somani that much either. During Delhi track, we had seen Somani
listening to Vishakha and even getting ready to open provident fund for Sameer
at her saying. We also saw Somani taking
care of her when she was sick. Now we
are seeing different side of Somani where he is jealous of the attention his
wife is showering on his stepson.
Somethings are easier said than done - I am assuming there were promises
from Somani to be the fair parent to Sameer as Viskhakha is to Rohan at the
time they got married. If there were
such promises, of course Somani did not upkeep those. Somani behaves just like a regular stepfather
and Sameer behaves like a regular stepson who clash with each other like two
metal containers and sandwiched in between is Vishakha. I think that Vishakha being a great mom to
her stepson is actually a great trait that she has - not everyone can love
someone else's child like that. If she
can bestow so much love on someone else's child, why are we thinking of her as
a bad person? I understand she has been
limited due to her marriage to be with Sameer as much as she would have wanted but
I have never felt she has not loved him. At this point people may argue that she is again choosing Somani over him but I think Sameer is married now and does not need her but she still has a biological daughter who is much younger than Sameer who takes the precedence.

My question is why are we so judgmental about a mom
remarrying? Why is mother expected to
make so many sacrifices? Does she not
have the right to be happy? Kids grow
old, they marry and they have their own life what about a mom's life? Remarrying does not always mean low self-esteem
in women at all. It sometime takes more
courage to remarry and face the taunts than chose to take the regular route of
being a sacrificing mom.

After this post some people will come up and say I know this
person who did not marry for the sake of her kid. Good for such women because they made their choices not to marry but if someone chooses to marry, I don't think we should
condone her either.

Very good post.
I also don't hate Vishakha. But I agree that her decision related to Sameer was not always proper. A life of widow during 70s is really tough. I know someone very close to me who got widowed iat very young age during 70s and her kids were also very young at that time. She survived only because she was financially secure at that time and her brothers were all ready to take care of her and kids. In Vishakha's case we know that she is not that smart and she doesn't have any brothers to be her support and during that time even Nanaji may not be that much rich to provide financial security for her. So the best option is to marry her off again and Nanaji take care of Sameer. More than that Somani was ready to provide financial support for Sameer but he doesn't want him to be physically present in between his kids.
Somani always tried to give a bad impression of Sameer to Vishakha so that she hates him and never ask to have Sameer with them and her full love and concentration will always be there for Rohan and Deepika.
So we can't blame anyone. Each of them got their own justification for their behavior.