Upbringing!

The way one carries himself as an individual and the manner in which he behaves in situations good and bad, depends a lot on the way he has been brought up. Most of one's personality traits are acquired during childhood. The way one thinks and acts is shaped by the way he has been raised, which is why parents have a very important role to play in a child's development.

Parenting is about teaching children to differentiate between the right and the wrong, making them capable, and supporting their emotional, social, and intellectual development. For the children's upbringing to be healthy, the parents need to dedicate enough time to them, adopt the right ways of teaching or guiding them, and create an environment conducive to the children's development.

Child upbringing is one of the most formidable tasks a parent will ever take on in life.

This topic of 'upbringing'' bugged me when Deepika and Pralay together came to my mind.

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."

Yes! The pricking' welcome by Deepika and warm Ajnabee Uncle' by Pralay to Sameer shows how the upbringings have been.

Taiji can be irritating and nose-picking types but surely a better mother than Visakha and mentor than Dadi.

Kids never listen but surely imitate. The pricking welcome of a guest forget step brother is enough indicative of discipline that Somani bragged about. If we notice Pralay sometimes also imitates Taiji in being a mischief 'trickster''.

Even Sameer too imitates.His irresponsibility and playful attitude to human 'relationships'' and 'emotions'' and the placing of infamous bet' showed the problem at roots.While Naina though in not so advanced family learns to care for human relationships and emotions.

We have seen how he loses temper when Rakesh questions his 'upbringing'.Somewhere in his sub-conscious he feels his ''imitation' is perfect.Though that's a notion.

"Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them."

Now Visakha here befails like anything.As we know both Sameer and Preeti mostly possess same characteristics but we have never seen Preeti being reprimanded constantly to be a 'correct'' one.Visakha's constant trials of correcting him rather than defendin him is what brought inches by inches separation between one of the cherished bonds of world-mother and child.

'Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them."

Again the 'cherishing'' aspect came to fore with recent scenes of Visakha with Rohan.She cherished Rohan and provided Sameer with material comforts only.Shopping can never replace the warmth of a mother's hug and assurance that everything will be right.

'Your children are not your children, they come through you, but they are life itself, wanting to express itself."

This is where Nanaji/Nanu come into picture.Few points above,I mentioned about 'imitation''.Sameer though imitated Visakha,fortunately he was under patronship of Nanu.His imitation somewhere made Sameer realise his folly.The friction between two mothers' imitation brought his final breakdown and subsequent realization.

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.And the true family' doesnot need any introduction.Sameer has friends who are his family.They give him repsect and joy which his own blood could not give.

Parents have a sacred duty to provide for the basic needs and protection for their families. They must ensure children receive everything required for their proper physical and emotional development. Children should be encouraged to live a morally clean life.

They should imbibe such virtues as hard work, honesty, integrity, respect, tolerance, patience, humility, forgiveness, love and the need to live peaceably with others.The virtues should be practiced like in Agarwals and not boasted like by Somanis.

No success can compensate for failure in the home.

This is my POV,do share your opinions as well.😳

Firstly a beautiful post...how can you write so effortlessly...

Parenting is an art...an art which every parent performs/draws in his own way...to be more precise according to his convenience and situation ...
It is always convenient for a person to take out flaws and correct people...the only thing which he is expected to do is change this behavior when he becomes a parent...Vishakha as a mother didn't change herself...she remained on the convenient path of taking out flaws...She didn't change for her child but she expected her child to change... but how can a child change himself when she didn't teach him to do so...She just put her demands on the table for Sameer but teach with him love and care on how to fulfill these..
Nanu on the other hand corrected him with love and a proper explanation on why cheating was wrong and that's why till date he hasn't committed the crime of cheating...
As mentioned by you, children imitate adults. We all have done that as kids because as a kid we think it to be the most appropriate thing to do, imitate the adults whom we look up to.
Rakesh whose ultimate goal in life is to just be big and rich, and get things done by hook or crook, couldn't teach his son to get things in life ethically. His son eventually just imitates him and gets things in life without even thinking about ethics.
Naina who hasn't got love from her father, also has exhibited initially a minute streak of selfishness in her character, because of the lack of security from both the parents. But fortunately getting shielded by Bela and Anand's love, she has turned out to be a lovable and understanding human being. So finally what was Rakesh supposed to give his children was love, security, care, integrity and morality but he couldn't give it, just like Vishakha.

Infact I believe Parents can make or break nations. A nation is known by the mentality and thinking of its younger and new generation, who brought up well by their parents can change the world or be a part in destroying the world.

The most difficult job in the whole world is of a parent I truly believe. A parent has the responsibility of turning the life they gave birth to either into a good person or a bad person. If the child turns out a good human being that is the greatest achievement a parent can get no matter how successful the child( in terms of materialistic possessions) has been or not.

Biological parents are not as important as the the parents who nourish the children. The love, warmth, the indulgence , quality time spent with kids is what gives the security, confidence. Even though Vishaka gave birth, Sameer doesn't connect with her as much as with Nanu. Eventhough Vishaka is not Rohan'S Real Mom He Connects With Her More Than His Biological Father !

Not sure of Pralay's upbringing though, he is a mini Taiji in the making. I am hoping Deepika will be better, maybe Daadi gave her the idea if pricking Sameer.

Beautiful topic Minu.👏..and awesome points abt parenting from u.😃

Beautiful post minu

There's a big difference between being mischievous and malecious.I have seen many naught kids some of them were litrally nightmares !

Children look up to parents/grand parents/nanny etc whoever is with them all the time.
The right way to teach a child is to be an example. No matter how many baby books you read to a child and preach good things unless we practice it the child is not going to get it because children learn by copying the parents. The family atmosphere makes a huge difference too.

In Sameer's case he's missed out on that important aspect- being around his parents. Yes he has had Nanu nurturing him and indeed changed him so much, but having lived mostly in hostels, rarely seeing his mother and then the constant comparison with Rohan has had its impact on Sameer and the way he behaves and also treats her.

Vishakha is by nature a good woman who had a good upbringing from Nanaji and that shows in her care for Rohan and Deepika. Obviously she loves Sameer as much but she must be constantly taunted about Sameer not being perfect' like Rohan which she pushes on to Sameer. For reasons best known to her she left her son under Nanu's care and hostels and She Never developed a relation with him nor tried to understand what he was going through. I feel now she does not know how to.. it seems weird when we see her hugging Rohan and Deepika and think then why can't she hug Sameer. Her cold behavior comes from wanting him to be perfect and also not wanting Somani and Daadi feel the other 2 kids are being neglected. We already saw the drama with 1 swim lesson missed!

First of all a great post. You write so well👏

I adore Nanu because that's the way I have been brought up by my parents. My dad has always been my friend first. Every time I made some mistake, every time I failed at something, he calmly made me understand where did I go wrong. He has never lost his calm in front of me. I don't really know where does he get this patience from. Though sometimes I think that he should have scolded me for certain things but then that was the way he thought was best for bringing up his children.

I agree that children imitate their parents but at the same time they learn from their experiences as well and that is where I see Arjun's character as a failure in not being a good human being. Rakesh's way of treating his children is not right in any way, but paper stealing and that cricket match incident were the mistakes made by an adult person who is capable of thinking. I can agree that Arjun being a meek and shy person was a result of his father's constant nagging and pressure. You can feel defeated when your parent constantly scolds you but hurting someone to achieve your goal is a failure of a person himself first.

I don't want to talk about other children here because I guess everyone has explained that aspect so beautifully. But I do wanna say something about Sameer. Every now and then he is reprimanded for being a 'bigda hua child'. No body ever sees why he has turned out to be a child who doesn't fit into the definition of an ideal child every parent in the show desires for. That kid was left all alone by his mother when he was barely 5. The time when he needed a mother to shower him with affection, the time when he needed a father to make him slowly understand the realities of outer world, the time he needed a home to come back to, he was left all alone in hostels to survive on his own. There was no one to understand him, to love him, to guide him or to even scold him on his mistakes. I don't think he is a bigda hua baccha. We all make mistakes, we all have flaws , nobody is perfect. As soon as he came back to his nanu, he beautifully brought out all inherent good qualities in Sameer. He gave him everything he desired for, the love, care, concern, affection. The things he has been longing for all his life.

No comments on Vishakha as a parent. No matter what her back story is, I can not connect to a mother who can not see her child's pain. A mother who can leave her own child for her own future/to please her in laws/to give her husband's child motherly love would never be a good mother to me no matter how successful Rohan and Deepika become in their lives. If she can be so attached to Rohan who is not even her own son, a little effort on her side would have saved Sameer's childhood from getting ruined. But then what to say of a mother who calls her child only two times in a year

Amazing post Minu😃👏