Hi All!Finally! Made some time for IF.
I haven't replied to the cmnts on Part 10 a yet.
I thought why not write the updt first as I am unsure if I will hv enough time to reply to all the cmnts.
I have read them all and will try to reply after cmpltng this updt.
Apologies in advance if I am unable to do so.
Here comes the weekend treat...
Part 10(b): Tum Bhi Mujhse Pyar Kar Lo
"Bhooot" I screamed looking at the inverted feet behind the desk in the front row.
"Calm down...Its me" I heard someone trying to pacify me.
I calmed down a bit and dared to scan the figure beyond its feet.
Ayyo! Its him!
I looked at his face and then at his feet, which were not inverted anymore.
He handed me a bunch of pens that had apparently scattered on the floor.
Oh! So he was picking those pens from the other side of the desk and I assumed the feet to be inverted.
Paithyam! I smacked my head mentally.
But why is he here?
As if I care!
OK...I admit I do!
But I should not let him know that I care...
He does not affect me.
OK...He does!
But I am not letting him know that...
I accepted those pens without looking into his eyes and then busied myself in putting my stuff back into the pouch and resuming my work.
He waited for a while for my attention.
When he didn't see it coming, he spoke up "We need to talk"
My mind went on an inquisitve mode of What, How and Why? as I stared blankly at him.
He looked quite nervous "Ermmm...It's about yesterday" he said
Oh yeah! Obviously! He's here to talk about yesterday...
What did you think Ishita? He is here to propose you?
And why do you even want him to propose you when you know that he loves someone else?
Someone else...yeah! He is here for that someone else.
Obviously he will be worried for her reputation.
He is afraid of the consequences if you spill the beans.
So he is here for Shagun Arora!
An unknown spread through my body which forced me to put a cold mask on my face.
"You don't have to worry about it. I won't tell anyone. It's a promise. So we are done talking. You may leave now" I said coldly.
He was taken aback with my cold reply.
"It's not about that. We need to talk...about us" he said waving his finger back and forth.
us...A shiver ran through my spine giving me goosebumps all over.
I was stuck at the word and my mind traveled at light's speed into the future imagining a happy future with happy faces.
A smile had begun to light up my face reflecting the blurry happy faces. But it abruptly stopped as the image became clear and I realised that the happy faces were not of us.
One of those happy faces was not mine.
The blush that had begun to creep up from the pit of my stomach, at the mention of us from his mouth, did not reach my cheeks as it caught up midway in my throat.
I felt suffocated as reality sunk in. Sadly! There was no us.
I did not want to be there in his proximity even for a second.
If I did I would fall weak in front of him.
I had to be strong, I had promised Simmi and I had promised myself.
I hurriedly started to pack my stuff.
I fought back the tears and cleared my throat before making my stand clear to him.
"One...I am not interested. Two...there is no us" I spat.
"Listen to me once please" he begged.
I gave him a deaf ear and gathered my books in a hand and took my bag in the other beginning to leave the classroom.
"Hear me out once" he continued.
I did not pay heed and started off.
My back was now facing him and I was at a few inches distance from the door which would take me away from him and his life probably forever.
"Don't go please" he pleaded as if asking me to not go away from his life.
It was getting difficult for me to leave the room with that thought in mind but my resolve was strong enough to drag my feet towards a life without him in it.
I slipped the bag onto my shoulder and reached for the door not stopping and not looking back into the classroom where my past was waiting for me.
For what? I had no clue of.
"Ishita"
I froze at the mention of my name from his mouth.
I was hearing it after years in real.
It played magic on my senses.
All I could hear after that was my name echoing in the silent classroom,
All I could see was the little Raman extending his hand towards me for friendship,
All I could taste was sweet flavour of belongingness,
All I could smell was the fresh fragrance of hope
And all I could feel was love in the air.
My mind went numb as the strong resolve of not turning back started to leave my body.
I stood like a statue giving him enough time to speak out his mind.
"I am sorry" he said shocking me. "Simmi told me everything"
Oh! It's guilt, not love which has brought him here.
The palace of hope my senses had built seconds ago started to crumble into pieces.
"You don't have to be. Apki galti nahi thi" I announced.
"Galti meri kaise nahi thi Ishita? Mai tumhe nahi pehchan paaya. Mai apni Ishita ko nahi pehchan paaya jiska mai pichle 10 saalon se intezar kar raha tha"
Apni Ishita? 10 saal se intezar?
That means he remembers everything.
Was he waiting for me?
Stop it Ishita! Stop assuming things and stop weaving dreams.
Haven't you had enough of heartbreak?
"Mujhe usi din samajh jaana chahye tha jab maine pehli baar tumhe is campus me dekha tha. Us din jab pehli baar dump yard me hamari nazrein mili, tab se lekar ab tak tumhara chehra mere nazar se hat hi nahi paaya. Pehli nazar ne hi mujhpe ek alag sa asar kar gaya. Aur tumhari pehli smile ne mujhe ghayal kar diya"
Hugh! Dekha Ishita...use bachpan ki koi baat yaad nahi hai.
Its all about Miss Sanskari not Ishita Iyer.
He continued answering my thoughts "Pichle 10 saal se jo chehra mere ankhon ke samne tha, us chehre ki jagah tumhara chehra mujhe nazar ane laga tha. Mujhe khud pe bahut gussa aya. Mai kaise apni Ishita ke sath dhoka kar sakta hun? Kaise mai kisi ladki apni Ishita ki jagah de sakta hun? 10 lamhon ke is mulaqat ko mai 10 saal ke wade se bada kaise samajh sakta hun? Mujhe khud se nafrat hone lagi. Isiliye maine apna sara gussa tumpe nikal diya aur tumhe wahan akela chod kar chala gaya tha. Mujhe laga ke shayd tumse door rahunga to tumhara chehra bhi mere nazron se hat jayega"
Usko sab yaad hai?
Wo isliye mujhe chod gaya tha kyunki wo Ishita ko dhoka nahi dena chahta tha.
Iska matlab wo mujhse...
"Lekin mai galat tha. Tumse door jane ke baad bhi tumahra chehra mera peecha nahi chod raha tha. Isiliye jab agle din tumhe campus me dekha to maine decide kar liya ke aaj mai kuch aisa karunga jisse mujhe tumse nafrat ho jaye. Aur maine wahi kiya. Par tumne phir se mujhe ghalat sabith kiya. Tumhare us thappad ke baad mujhe tumse nafrat honi chahye thi par mai aur zyada tumpe marne laga"
Kya ye sach hai?
Agar ye sach hai to woh kya hai jo kal maine apne ankhon se dekha tha?
"Do din pehle tumhe lunch break me dekha tha. Doosri baar tumne meri taraf dekh kar smile kiya tha. Us smile ne mujhe phir se ghayal kiya aur mai khud pe aur gussa hogaya. Mai aisa kuch karna chahta tha jisse ke tumhara chehra hamesha keliye mere nazron ke samne se nikal jaye"
"Tabhi mujhe Shagun mili. Shagun kayi saalon se mere peeche padi hui hai par maine kabhi uski taraf mudkar dekha bhi nahi. Par us din jab usne mujhse kaha ke mai next day usse ake ladies room me miloon maine fouran haan kar diya"
Wow! Great!
Mere chehre se chutkara paane keliye Shagun ko haan kar di.
Shagun ko haan karte waqt us waade ka kya hua tha jo tumne Ishita se ki thi.
"I know it sounds stupid ke mai Ishita keliye tumhe bhula dena chahta tha aur yahan mai kisi aur ladki ko haan kar di thi. Par mujhe us waqt jo samajh aya maine wo kiya"
"Kal ladies room me Shagun mere paas thi, par meri nazron me sirf tum thi. Jab tum ne darwaza khola aur samne ayi tab mujhe ehsas hua ke mai kya kar raha hun. Tumhare chehre ke sath sath mujhe Ishita se kiya hua waada yaad aya aur mai khud ko kosne laga ke akhir mai kya karne ja raha tha. Achha hua tum sahi waqt par agayi warna mai khud ko zindagi bhar maaf nahi kar paatha"
"Jab Simmi ne mujhe bataya ke tum hi meri Ishita ho to mujhe pehle yaqeen nahi hua. Phir mujhe ehsas hua ke yahi wajah hai ke tumhara chehra mere nazron ke samne se hat nahi raha hai. Mera dil pukarne laga ke tum hi woh Ishita jisse mai itne saalon se pyar karta aya hun aur aaj bhi pyar karta hun"
Dil ne ye kaha hai dil se
Mohabbat hogayi hai tumse
Clap...Clap...Clap...the sound echoed in the room as I dropped my books and bag on the nearby table and put my hands together turning to face him.
"Wow! What a story! What a story! Achhi hai, par sachhi nahi" I scoffed.
"Ishita ye tum kya keh rahi ho? Mera yaqeen karo. Mai sach keh raha hun"
Mere jaan mere dilbhar
Mera eitbaar kar lo
"Hugh...Mai itni bewakoof nahi hun ke tumhare is manghadad kahani par yaqeen kar lun"
"Tumhe ye sab kahani lag rahi hai Ishita? Kya tumhe meri bechaini nazar nahi arahi? Ek baar mehsus karne ki koshish to karo ke mujhpe kya beet rahi hai" he closed the gap between us and held my shoulders.
Jitna beqarar hun main
Khud ko beqarar kar lo
I shrugged his arms off my shoulder making my stand clear to him.
He held my right hand and placed above his thumping heart and pleaded "Kya tumhe in dhadkanon me tumhara naam sunayi nahi de raha? Inhe samajhne ki koshish karo Ishita. Tumhe khud patha chal jayega ke mai tumse kitna pyar karta hun"
Meri dhadkanon ko samjho
He then placed the very hand above my heart and continued "Kya tumhe meri dil ki awaz apni dhadkanon me sunayi nahi de raha Ishita? Kya tumhara dil bhi usi tarah dhadak raha hai jis tarah mera dil dhadak raha hai? Jitna pyar mai tumse karta hun, kya tum bhi mujhse utna hi pyar nahi karti?"
Tum bhi mujhse pyar kar lo
My heart started thudding loudly and I immediately withdrew my hand.
"Nahi karti mai tumse pyar" I screamed.
"Kyun khud se jhoot bol rahi ho Ishita?" he asked.
"Yahi sach hai. Mai tumse pyar nahi karti Mr. RKB" I declared.
"RKB keh kar mujhe paraya mat karo Ishita. Mai tumhara Raman hun" he pleaded.
"Nahi ho tum mere Raman. Mera Raman tumhari tarah bilkul nahi tha. Mai sirf Raman se pyar karti hun. Tumse nahi. Kyunki tum mere Raman ki tarah bilkul bhi nahi ho. Tum RKB ho sirf RKB" I declared clearly.
"Aisa mat kaho Ishita. Mai hi tumhara Raman hun. Maanta hun ke mai badal gaya hun, meri adatein badal gayi hain. Par meri fitrat nahi badli aur na hi mera dil badla hai. Mera dil aaj bhi sirf tum hi se pyar karta hai Ishita"
"Hugh! Tumne keh diya aur maine maan liya" I let out a sarcastic grin.
"To phir tum hi batao ke mai aisa kya karun jisse tumhe yaqeen ho jaye ke mai tumhara Raman hi hun. Tum jo kahogi mai wo karne keliye tayyar hun" he cupped my cheeks and begged looking into my eyes.
Tum jo kehdo to
Chaand taaron ko tod laaunga mai
In hawaon ko
In ghataon ko mod laaunga mai
My heart wanted to believe him but my mind warned me of the consequences of falling for him.
As I looked at his face which was just a breath away from mine, the scene from last afternoon flashed in front of my eyes when he had his face exactly this close to Shagun.
My eyes closed in a reflex at the tiny glimpse of the harsh reality.
Kaisa manzar hai
Meri ankhon me
Kaisa ehsaas hai
For some reason I could not get over the scene that had broken my heart into pieces.
And that was stopping me from believing whatever he just said.
I was in a huge dilemma.
The one I have always loved and had been waiting for, was here this close to me begging me to accept his love.
The moment I had always dreamt of was turning into a reality but the scars of my broken dream were still so fresh that it did not let me accept what was unfolding in front of my eyes.
Paas dariya hai
Door sehra hai
Phir bhi kya pyaas hai
The fear that this dream too we will break as soon as I open my eyes had overpowered me completely.
I was unable to shake that fear off.
Keeping my gaze to the floor, I asked him "Mai jo kahungi wo tum karoge?"
"Of course Ishita! Ek baar meri ankhon me dekh kar jo maangna hai maanglo. Mai use tumhare kadmon pe lake rakh dunga, chahe iske liye mujhe duniya ke kisi bhi kone me jaana pade"
Kadmon me jahan ye rakh doon
Mujhse ankhein chaar kar lo
I shrugged his hands off my cheek and looked everywhere but him.
"Itni door jane ki zarurat nahi hai, bas tum mere nazron ke saamne se chale jao" I told him off with a heavy heart.
"Ishitaaa...ye tum kya keh rahi ho? Tum mujhe khud se door karna chahti ho?" he asked and tried to close the distance between us.
I pushed him back with both my hands and screamed "Haan mai yahi chahti hun. Chale jao mujhse door. Roz meri yaadon me aur khwabon me baskar mujhe pareshan kar rakha hai tumne. Ab meri nazron ke samne rehke aur pareshan mat karo mujhe please. Leave me alone. Chale jao yahan se" tears freely ran across my cheeks.
Meri yaadon me
Meri khwabon me
Roz aate ho tum
Is tarah bhala
Meri jaan mujhe
Kyun sataate ho tum
"Theek hai Ishita. Agar yahi tumhari marzi hai, to yahi sahi. Mai yahan se jaa raha hun kyunki is waqt tum meri bath ko samajhne ki halat me nahi ho"
I was glad that he complied to my request.
"Lekin..."
The pause made me nervous. I knew something big was coming ahead.
"Ye baath tum bhi achhi tarah janti ho ke mai tumhari yadon se aur na hi tumhare khwabon se itni asani se jane wala hun. Tumhare in ansuon se mujhe mera jawab de diya hai lekin dil ke raste pe us din ka intezar karunga jab tum khud mere samne accept karogi ke mere bina tumhari duniya adhoori hai. Ye wada hai mera tumse ke woh din bahut jald ayega"
Teri baahon se
Teri raahon se
Yun najaunga mai
Yeh irada hai
Mera waada hai
Laut aaunga mai
I stared at him with open mouth.
He gave that lop-sided smile which always took my breath away and reached for the door walking backwards with his gaze fixed on me.
He pointed a finger in my direction and added before leaving
"Tum bhi us din ka intezar karna jis din tumhe mai us duniya se chura lunga"
Duniya se tumhe chura loon
Thoda intezar kar lo
"Love you" he said blowing a kiss at me and left the room.
Jitna beqarar hoon mai
Khud ko beqarar kar lo
Meri dhadkanon ko samjho
Tum bhi mujhse pyar kar lo
I fell on the floor as soon as he left.
I had no strength left in me to grasp whatever just happened.
My world had literally turned upside down.
What I had wished to have happened, had happened but at the wrong time.
If only this had happened before last afternoon, I would have gladly accepted his proposal and crashed into his arms the moment he addressed me as Ishita.
But today it all seemed wrong.
I held my face in my palms and cried to my heart's content.
"Ye mere sath kya ho raha hai. Kyun Raman kyun? Kyun ab aye ho jabke maine tumhare sath jeene ke sapne dekhna chod diye the? Mai kaise un ankhon se ankhein milaun jisme mujhe apna nahi kisi aur ka chehra nazar atha hai. Kal jo apne ankhon se dekha uske baad kaise mai tumpar vishwas karun? Jo dil kal ke baad se dhadakna bhool gaya hai, use ek nayi dhadkan kahan se lakar dun? Mai un pyar ke sapnon ko phir se kaise dekhoon jinke tootne ki awaz abhi tak mere kaanon me goonj rahi hai? Ye mujhse nahi hoga Raman, mai phir se wahi bhool nahi kar sakti"
Kaise aankhe char karlu
Kaise aitbar karlu
Apnee dhadkano ko kaise
Itna bekarar karlu
Kaise tujhko dil mai dedu
Kaise tujhse pyar karlu
"Kash ke maine kabhi wo sapna nahi dekha hotha. Kash ke tum kabhi mere zindagi me na aye hothe. Kash ke maine kabhi is baat par faqr na kiya hotha ke...
Tum Mere Khwabon Se Jaa Na Sake"
---------------------------To be continued-------------------------
I seriously have no clue how this part has turned out...
I won't be surprised if I don't get any appreciatory comment at all...
I somehow completed the update after lots of breaks in between due to my busy schedule...
To jo bhi hai yahi hai...
Sorry!
Edited by maanvir - 10 years ago
Current Affairs
Indian Idol 16
2