Contemplating the Repercussions of a Broken Marriage - Page 3

Originally posted by: PyaarDostiHai

First of all, kudos on this beautiful, well-written analysis. It is definitely thought-provoking and I enjoyed reading this take immensely.

Thank you so much!

Having said that, I have to disagree with your portrayal of Shagun here. You've made it sound as if Shagun actually tried in her marriage with Raman. But the thing is, people like Shagun don't care about the person in front of them, unless that person has established themselves as the dominant partner. I honestly believe that Shagun married Raman simply because he fed her ego. I'm rather confused still about how exactly they met and such, but I don't believe that she ever even gave a thought to loving him. She is just not that kind of a person. And while I wholeheartedly believe that people need to follow their hearts, even if they are already married with children, it is the way Shagun did that that really bothers me. If you realize you love someone other than your spouse, you need to tell them in a gentle manner. She broke off a 5+ year marriage with cruel words and a haughty attitude, making it seem as if Raman had been all the reasons for her sorrow. This is what I despise about her. It's always about her. She didn't think nor care about anyone other than herself, and maybe Aditya.

I am not making excuses for Shagun, I'm simply saying I can't blame her for walking out of an unhappy marriage. I don't mean to make it sound like she tried with the marriage - the fact is, we don't really know who Shagun was before she decided to leave RKB for Ashok, so I can't quite say whether or not she tried in her marriage or not. I would like to believe that before Ashok, she would have tried to invest in her marriage, but as you said, it could have been simply because RKB fed her ego. I also do not believe she was in love with Ashok when she left RKB. On the contrary, I believe she was with him only because he could give her all the things RKB couldn't at the time. Do I beleive she loves him now? Sure, maybe...but as you said, she loves herself too much to think of other's first. As for the way she broke her marriage with RKB, yes, it could have been handled a bit more maturely.

The point of my post however was to try to understand Shagun as a mother, and where she's failed. I do agree that she is self-centered and that she is, on multiple levels, failing Adi. In her mind, RKB couldn't give her children a "secure furture" - read: monetary security. But it's like Mihika said today - a kid doesn't need monetary security for his future. He needs his parents attention, love, guidance. This is where Shagun failed. Her materialistic outlook has seeped into who she is as a mother. It's sad...but unfortunately, it's all she knows.

Hmmm... I don't know what to say about Raman. On one hand, I agree that he could have helped Aditya a long time ago. Yet on the other, how? It's not like he never tried to get close to his first born son, but having your son call you a monster and label you as an abuser... That's not easy to deal with. I can't really blame Raman for Adi's state at all, as he's always been pushed away when he tries to be his parent (and with a court ordered restraining order there wasn't much he could do in the first place).

I agree. RKB's hands have been tied all along (post divorce) because of the restraining order. But it cannot be discounted that regardless, he's tried to be there for Adi. Post divorce, RKB went into self-imposed solitude...unfortunately, by the time he finally came back, Adi had already been turned against him thanks to the likes of Shagun-Ashok. Now the chlid does not spare any opportunity to reject RKBs advances and spit venom at it. It's extremely heartbreaking. I do not blame RKB at all in the situation.

Will continue as I get time... got to run 😊

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!

Originally posted by: Eyes-Wide-Shut

Well damn! Did you render me speechless or what! Never have i read such amazing character analysis like this before, and I am so glad you got 'carried' away and posted 😊

You guys are embarrassing me. Thank you, but please stop. 😳

First things first amazing song, I had forgotten about it and now it's getting added to my playlist as we speak.

The song is the first thing that came to mind as I watched Adi spit venom at his father today. Heartbreaking.

Coming to these 3 wonderful character and your brilliant post!!!! I had said this before somewhere that if you take out the Indian soap angle then Shagun's character isn't evil, everyone has a right to seek happiness and if her happiness for whatever reason was with Ashok then she has all the right to pursue her happiness. Her actions and her choices might not make sense to us but that doesn't make them wrong or evil choices. I unfortunately started watching this brilliant show only recently so I cannot comment as to how or why Shagun and Raman married each other, maybe they were in love and then fell out of love. It happens a lot in life where people do fall out of love because there isn't enough growth in the relationship or perhaps Raman and Shagun were never in love, it may have been infatuation, the bottom line is that the marriage wasn't supposed to be, no amount of time, patience, one sided love or any amount of children could have salvaged this doomed union.

Very well said, Doc. What's right for one person doesn't have to be right for everyone and we may never understand it, but who are we to judge. Unless and until you walk a mile in a person's shoes, you'll never truly know what drives them.

I myself am still confused as to how and why they married each other, and I've been watching since day 1.

@Bold: I completely agree!

Like you said Shagun loves Adi and there is no doubt about her unconditional love for her son, the problem is that in the war that she waged with Raman to win over her son she indulged him silly in the process ruining his childhood and snatching his innocence.

She used her son in her personal vendetta against RKB in the worst way. She loves him, but she's channeling that love in all the wrong ways...and in the process, ruining the child's life.

Where do I start with Adi, a child abandoned by a breaking marriage, smothered by a mother with wrong priorities and an absent father figure, a classic recipe for disaster. A friend of mine raised by a single mother told me, 'There are days when I am tired being the man my mother always envisioned my father to be. I am tired of being a son and an absentee spouse' This resonated with me and I see this applying to Adi here as well, he is trying to be the man in his mom's world but her world is full of malice and deceit. Adi needs love and unconditional patience, only a woman like Ishita can provide that for this lost soul.

Those lines from your friend. Wow. That ressonates.

It definitely applies to Adi. He is trying to be the man in his mom's life...more importantly, his mom is his only constant. He's overprotective.

I sincerely hope the CVs will let Adi go live with RKB-Ishu...he needs the TLC and nurturing...and RKB needs it too.

Now my puttar ❤️ if I could leap in the TV and hug him I would!!! His heartbreak over seeing contempt and hate in his son's eyes tugged at my heart. Let's not forget that Raman too is a man boy, he has a hurting boy within his man exterior. He too is fragile and is trying his best to pick the pieces of life and start a new. He didn't choose any of this, yet this is what fate dealt him. Puttar is a good parent, he has tried to reach out to Adi whenever possible, he has tried to rectify his son's mistakes and teach him a lesson but sometimes the only healing process that works to mend such complicated relationships is TIME.

First things first. I'm gonna need you to stop referring to him as "my puttar". KThx.

Need I tell you that my heart breaks for this man every time his son rejects his love? Seriously, it's gut-wrenching to watch every time...it never gets easier.

I cannot tell you how many times Rajji and I have analyzed this Man-Boy that is RKB. If I get started, I won't be able to stop, so I will simply say that I concur!

My heart hurts for him. It's too much. 🥺

Okay I have rambled on enough! I don't even know if any of this makes sense I just started typing once I read your brilliant post. Since there is so much talk of children and childhood, I wrote a few lines about childhood. 😊

Bachpan

Bachpan ka chota kadh par sapna lambe

Martaban mein in sapno ko maa ne pyar se sigoya tha

Kahin yeh sapno ka martaban toot na jaye

toh papa ne inhen ek uche takht pe sagaya tha

in chote hathon ka thama tha aur gale se lagaya tha

Aaj jab in lambe hathon se us ucke takht ki tarf haath badhata hoon

Toh sochta hoon ki kash phir se chota hota ye kadh

Toh maa ke pyar and papa ke dular ke saath

kae aur sapno ke martaban sajate.

Thank you for these beautiful lines. I dunno how many times I've read 'em.
PS: You should know that you now feature in the place where I write down all the brilliant wonderful things that I read such as this. I've transcribed more than a few of your lines and thoughts. 😳

THANK YOU!!!!!! 🤗 ❤️

Originally posted by: columbia

Well written

I said it gan's post I was surprised at how well they touched this point in the epsiode

Very nicely written

Originally posted by: RomComFan

This is just... WOW!👏👏👏 Take a bow. Terrific!😆

I'm overwhelmed and embarrassed. Thank you.

I am very glad that the tragedy of Ishu's harassment brought this really important issue to light. It was certainly a long time coming.

I couldnt' agree with you more. I hope they continue to explore Adi and RKB's relationship. It will be interesting to see what happens in the aftermath of Shagun's wedding being called off.

And hopefully it will force ISHRA and Shagun [and her partner] to sit down and have a mature conversation about Adhi and his future; because he needs guidance and therapy , otherwise he has a very bleak future. And neither party can make this happen without the others' full support- they all need to be there for him and present a united front.

I agree completely. It's like Mihika said in today's episode - more than anything else, he needs his parents love and care and guidance. I have no doubt that IshRa would be able to give him the nurturing environment he needs, but Shagun needs to get on board because she is Adi's entire world right now.

Like you said, Raman's stance , his anger , is not because of his admittance of his feelings for Ishita. He knew this was coming , perhaps not this bad but he was aware that Adhi would be a challenge - but it was a challenge he did not know if he could handle since, as he told Ishita and we have repeatedly seen, Adhi is his weakness.

I think yesterday, RKB realized and understood the gravity of the situation with Adi. Adi is his weakness, this is true, but I think he's realized that letting him continue to get away with his mistakes isn't helping. RKB will step up and be the proper father-figure he needs to be, but Adi will have to be handled very delicately. It will be interesting to see how this child's parents come together to secure his future with their nurturing.

As a typical divorced patrent, a typical father, he does not want to be on the recieving end of his child's hatered, which is one of the contributing factors to this present sittuation. Neither Shagun or Raman, whether due to desire or circumstance, properly parented Adhi and he did not have any others around him willing to do it either. Hopefully, now that it as reached this point they and their partners will fix this mistake and be the parents and family Adhi deserves and requires.

I agree; no one wants to be on the receiving end of their child's hatred. I think they are all victims of circumstance, in this case - especially RKB and Adi. Shagun did what she did and she can't be blamed, but if the situation was handled properly from the get-go, things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand.

On a completely separate note- I LOVE that you have a Gaskell quote in your piece. She is one of my top 5 favorites writers and I grinned when I saw her name in your post. So YAY!🥳

Gaskell...she's brilliant! We were discussing North and South in Gan's thread.

That is all ...😉

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts!!

Originally posted by: Jyoe

Hey Payal,

Great write up and analysis.👍🏼 Quite thought provoking and made me think about such issues (which I probably would not have given a thought earlier even though I may have noticed such things happening around and how kids like Adi get affected). So, big thank you for that! We get so carried away in all the mundane things of life that sometimes such reality check in's are needed even if it just comes from a write up or a scene.

Hi there!! Thank you so much.

I agree, sometimes we fail to see the bigger issues in our society. That's why I love this show. For moments like this one between Father and Son when we are reminded of the repercussions of our actions.

Loved the scene btwn Adi- Raman, even though it hurt to see Raman in that situation ( I just love that guy!), it brought out a reality to viewers which is hard hitting!

I cannot tell you how gut-wrenching it is to watch Adi continue to reject Raman and spit venom at him every single time. Heartbreaking. I can't. It's too much.

I loved the way how you dwelved into pysche of the people involved!

Thanks...it was the only way I could really see the gravity of the situation and what the real issues are.

KP was bang on! and I dunno, but for change I actually liked Adi's cold expressionless face. It felt real for once on that kid and felt very much in character! and the dialogues too were just in place. not too OTT.but real.

I love KP for his acting undoubtedly and cant stop gushing about him in romantic scenes, cute scenes etc. He is best in the TV so far..but in scenes like this my respect for him just goes up!

He is quite young to portray the emotions of a father (especially when he is not even married or has kids) and probably has never gone through anything like Adi. But the way he enacted and expressed himself, the angst, the frustration, the anger, the helplessness, no words to even say how he does that and how good he does that. Just look at the change in his expressions! He nails it even in scenes like this!

I remain very reserved when I talk about KP on this platform. All I will say is, I concur, 100 percent. Words fall short in light of his finesse. I won't say any more here because I will get carried away...PM me and we can continue our KP discussion there. 😉😆

I dont know why but looking at Adi-Raman scene last night, reminded me of "tujhse naraaz nai zindagi" song from Masoom even though the equation btwn Adi Raman is totally different from the ones on who it was picturized. I so wish Adi-Raman shared a bond like the ones shown in the song..someday hope it happens!

This song just chokes me up everytime I hear it!😊

I love that song. And it is so very apt for Adi-Raman right now. They are both victims of circumstance...I too hope that they will one day mend their relationship and heal each other in a way that only they can.

Thank you so much, Jyoe, for sharing your thoughts!!! 🤗

Originally posted by: Ohgod!

Awesome post Payal 👏

I have never felt Shagun to be negative.. She is just way too self centred to care for anyone else.. And I don't think Raman has always been right too! Somehow this quote sums up Shagun, Adi and Raman for me..

"I am tired of people saying that poor character is the only reason people do wrong things. Actually, circumstances cause people to act a certain way. It's from those circumstances that a person's attitude is affected followed by weakening of character. Not the reverse. If we had no faults of our own, we should not take so much pleasure in noticing those in others and judging their lives as either black or white, good or bad. We all live our lives in shades of gray." Shannon L. Alder

I'm ashamed because I don't know your name, and I feel like I should! Please introduce yourself!!

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I agree completely with what you've said about Shagun. She's self-centered, and that's what gets in her way 99% of the time. I think she'll be in for a big reality check in the coming weeks and I look forward to seeing how her character will be handled. (I'm praying that it doesn't go the typical Indian soap way...but, I won't hold my breath.)

I couldn't agree more that all of the protagonists are but victims of circumstance. I really want to see Adi and RKBs relationship mended some day...I think they are the only ones who can heal each other.

Thank you so much for sharing this quotation. I'm adding it to my personal collection. It's perfect. I too believe that people are inherently good...and it's their reaction to the circumstances they find themselves in, how they play the card they're dealt, which makes all the difference.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

Originally posted by: Colt.Pixy

very superb post payal and i do agree shagun had equal rights to live her life with her choice but she failed as parent to give attention to her son when he actually wanted. she just kept fulfilling his demands of love by money and luxury instead of sitting with him for some time but that was too her own thoughts as they had shown she was ambitious from childhood but yeah she had fought for her brother for shoes. her love for her closures one is not white not black. it falls in grey category .

I completely agree. Shagun has been too self-centered to really give Adi the very thing he desperately needs - her time, attention, and love. She loves him, but she's not directing that love in the right manner.

Thank you for bringing up the shoes thing. I forgot about that. I guess Shagun's materialistic needs have just gotten the best of her over the years.

completely agree with raman's character how he can fight for his kid when he was asked to stay away from him by court if adi feels he was abandoned by his father . i think he should know who was actually at fault for all this mess before years.

I don't think its anyone's fault, per se. I think they've all fallen victim to their circumstances. It's sad...and its going to take years for all of them to heal completely.

but when i heard he hates ishita for giving his mom tears i feel they should have shown his relations with raman before marriage. they din show what adi is thinking about raman when he was not married. they opened that secret right on marriage spot never gave any scene about it and when adi met him he said " you married with some one else " raman said " i married for ruhi but i dun love my wife"

I agree - I would have liked to see what their equation was before marriage, but if I'm not mistaken, Shagun always put RKB down in front of Adi - saying he couldn't provide for him, etc. So I believe Adi's been brainwashed since before the divorce. He's always been made to think that RKB doesn't care...hence the venom we're seeing now.

yes adi was hating his dad from years but still I wanted to see their scene like they showed raman and ruhi before marriage . what he would do if shagun slaps him because of raman before ishita comes in picture ?

I agree, this would provide good insight. Sadly, we shall never know!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Originally posted by: mreshma

👏 .. Splendid post..I am so happy to see such a brilliant post in the midst of a lot of negativities in the forum. Dis post is exactly wat is going thru my mind after ystrdays episode..Adi-Raman faceoff..a scene where I sympathised or rather empathized equally with both the son and the father..the situation in which they r is not bcoz of either of their fault..it is only bcoz of Shagun who always looked for ways by which this father n son can be kept as far as possible..she filled the kids mind at a very tender age with the venom of hatred towards his father, who on the other hand only loved him n wished to be with him always..each n every time he tried to b close to his son he was mercilessly rejected..n the child cud only blindly follow his mothers words..
N Karan was just unbelievably wonderful in that scene..such a phenomenal actor..n for a change the kid was also gud ystrday..

Originally posted by: Bombaytola

😭👏 Ur post was so heartfelt. Amazing how u could explain all 3 perspectives. Being a mom i always doubt if I am doing enough. Moments like these mKe me reflect on choices i make. I like how u have explained Shaguns viewpoint and I agree that every person has a right to choose their happiness.

One thing I always remind myself as a parent is everything we do in life is a choice. Our kids had no choice when they came into this world we made that choice for them and at that point their happiness safety and comfort should be our top priority. Marriage is an interesting relation where feelings are like ocean waves but depth of respect for each other should not falter. Somewhere Shagun had no respect for Raman and that is where they could have failed Adi.

I will stop my rambling here. Touched by your words

@Doc awesome poetry. Love the part where dad holds the child. Need more of those dad's in todays world

Originally posted by: dixie123

Beautiful analysis Payal.. 👏

Agree on Raman and Adi's perspective though not much on Shagun.

My heart goes out to both son and father esp the kid. The mental and emotional turmoil the kid has and is going through is terrible. Ruhi got saved from this trauma but Adi is stuck and hopefully he can get out of it.

Lifelong implications of this is so scary on any child..