::Updated::
Part 1
Loved the banter. So typical of them both. You get these character so well, I could see the back and forth play out. You painted the picture perfectly. Nokh jokh is such an important part of IshRa's equation, it had to be there. Always, it comes with Raman's rude behavior and ishita's pacifying nature.
Loved the end in particular - both of them reflect just after the encounter. Ishita's tears and pain was especially palpable. Heartbreaking. Ishita is weak (read : in a dark place) since Subbu left her and the fact that a random man, took the time out of his day, to reach out to her and be purely mean gets to her. Her psychological defense mechanisms are not working, and his words - even though she knows she is not fat and even thought she knows it shouldn't matter- GETS to her.
Part 2
God Rajji, you get the core of RKB. You get him. I don't get him. I get the place where he was then.
This was beautiful, seriously. I PMed you right after I read this for a reason. I was moved. I don't know how i even managed to reply to your PM. During the penning down session of this piece, i tried my best to both move forward and complete it WHILE ignoring it. "Let's let my brain and fingers do the work while my heart ignores it all. Lala-li la-loum..."
Reading it again today and all I can say is I'm still moved. My heart hurts after reading this. These lines in particular:
"Is this really being alive though? Working-drinking-sleeping, on repeat, without any meaning to it. Is it even worth it?...Oh yeah... Is it even worth it? Is life even worth anything?...Or maybe... maybe everyone's life is worth it -even this hysteric lady's one- except ... my own?" *ignores*
What a dark place this man is in. When he looked in the mirror and toasted himself... actually there was no mirror in this scene, he is just toasting to air because he couldn't bear to look at himself right then.
it makes me wonder if he's toasting his old naive self or himself in this moment, as he sits, alone, completely broken. To me, he was toasting to himself in the moment. Because each night he is still here to toast, is a victory, and each morning where he wakes up, is one as well, no matter how pathetic he looks from the hangover he offered himself. It's still an effing victory.
I can almost see that smirk on his face - the one we saw the night he sat drinking on the bed when Ishu walked in just before he "man-handled" her...yea, that smirk. The one where he laughs at his own fate. My heart is hurting. Hurting. That smirk. THAT. SMIRK.
He was unable to take his mind off of her... because thinking about her -even if he doesn't know her- is better than thinking about his miserable self. (if you want to, you can go through my replies to others in this thread, it explains this piece a bit more - not that you need it, you seemed to have gotten the point quite well)
Does his regret for his words to Ishita come from the place deep within him that knows how it feels to be humiliated and ridiculed? It comes from a place where he knows it was plain wrong. Someone like Shagun would have done this, not him. Not Happy Raman.
THIS: "A girl like her could never love a man who has flaws, or a past... Or both." (I have tears in my eyes. Seriously.) *ignores harder* (i actually got physically away from my lappy, then came back to read the rest of the reply. You do this to me Payal.)
Did he see his own pain reflected in her eyes? YES. Or is he envious of her life because, well, no one's life could be so bad as the one he's currently living...right? YES YES YES. BOTH.
Nice touch with the Jesse Ware lyrics. Her voice soothes me.
Part 3
The facade...the false pretense. It is one of the hardest things to do when you can physically feel yourself crumbling on the inside. Practice makes perfect. Sometimes its actually troubling to see people get so easily fooled. I mean, do they really don't see their friend-colleague-sister-daughter PRETENDING from morning to evening? Do they not see it or are they ignoring it?
Love the parallels you drew with the same poignant lines - Is this really being alive though?
Her looking into the mirror, plastering a smile on her face, asking her how she's doing - how Subbu is doing. That was gut-wrenching, Rajji. Let's not get into that.
And then this: ""Maybe if I keep pretending to be happy, I'll actually start believing that I am..." Deep breaths."...how many times day in and day out do we say these lines to each other...hoping, that maybe one day, we'll wake up, and we won't have to pretend anymore. *ignores harder than ever and pushes you away toward the exit*
"Life is beautiful...but is beautiful worth the pain?"...this hurts my heart. It does. One day, i'll PM you the answer to this question. *making promises i can't keep is my new hobby*
Love the parallels you drew between their thoughts on one another. Both blaming themselves for the almost accident, more so - their outburst and rude behavior. Both contemplating each other's lives.
THIS: "A man like him could never love a woman who has flaws, or a past... Or both." (Yep. Still tears.) Heart aches for her and you.
Did she see her own pain reflected in his eyes? YES. Or is she envious of his life because, well, no one's life could be so bad as the one she's currently living...right? YES YES YES. BOTH
The "Leave the Door Wide Open" lyrics are perfect. Perfect. Agree.
***
Rajji, I have to ask where this came from. Nope, you don't have to ask, because you know already.
It was so deep and poignant. My hear hurts...and I wanna just reach across cyberspace and give you a big hug. Tightest huggies.
I love you. You know that. I believe you. And when i look at this reply, it confirms that I don't need sleep if i can have Payal. (don't fight me on this).
I miss you. Did you know that? Trying to get my head around this one still, but if you say so, i believe you. Oh and, I'm back.😊
Love. Thank you.
🤗❤️
Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani
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