The Next Step UPDATED

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-Gan-

@-Gan-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

"there's nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood.
And understanding someone else."
~Brad Meltzer

~Edited

Physical intimacy between a couple is the ultimate step in a relationship. More importantly in one where the whole premise of the marriage started as a compromise to keep a child's custody. But to bare yourself physically you need to bare your soul first.

In the last few weeks Raman and Ishita have had a lot of progress in their understanding of each other. They have started showing their feelings for each other. For a couple who had not yet shared a bed, to take their relationship to the next level...they needed to open up more, communication wise.

Raman is the experienced one when it comes to physical intimacy and he took advice from another married guy..so for him reaching out for a packet of condom was the next step.😆 But when he entered the room and saw Ishita's hesitation and predicament...he understood her. This is all new territory for her...and it needs time to develop their comfort level and for her to feel comfortable enough for the next step. So he decides to wait and show her his love in other ways first.

Raman just melted my heart today. He's a unique man...truly attuned to his wife in all aspects. Respecting a woman's boundary takes a gentleman and requires a strength in character. The guy, who in his inebriated state wanted to claim his marital rights, to 'own his wife' is ready to wait till she's ready. If this is not redemption, then what is? What a guy!

This is why I love YHM...the whole episode was lighthearted moments about a guy's dilemma with a packet of condom...but this last scene just dealt with the inner working of the man that he is.

Edited by GanBarunFan - 10 years ago

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Veeann

@Veeann

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Love the write up G, and love how the first cap has the "seal the deal" ring so prominent. So this round didn't go as planned for puttar, but he has sealed the deal, it's just a matter of time now before he gets his biwi comfortable with the idea of intimacy, before he gets to ( ok gutter alert, I was going to say unseal the ..., but I won't. Chee) express physically the love that shines in his eyes for her.

This sequence reinforced for me why I love this show - yes there are highly illogical tracks (cannot get my head around the Bhalla clan dancing at their ex daughter in laws wedding to the man who tried his best to destroy their son), yes there is no closure to important issues ( the whole Shani saga) - but but but, the way they show situations so true to life wins me over every time. Puttars nervousness, the way he was brushing his hair, the deodorant (getting way ahead of ourselves aren't we Puttar), throwing that box of condoms around, the look on his face ... Uff, mar daala. Really felt for puttar that biwi did not understand, and really feel for biwi that she cannot even comprehend that her husband may have brought the offending articles, she feels so undesirable.

I thought the flashback was apt too - Puttar telling biwi that he could not imagine touching her ... Redemption time now son !!!!!

Special mention for KP - I know nothing of the actor in his personal capacity, but he has made me fall in love with RKB, and that takes a special talent. Doesn't hurt that he looks so damn hot 😳 😉

PS - I have NEVER fan girled anyone like I do RKB, except for SRK, and RKB so reminds me of SRK, only hotter 😳

Edited by Veeann - 10 years ago

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Res

sorry for being late Gan was kinda busy...

I loved the quote and the pics you have used tonight in the collage as well as the title.

You know what is presented in a comic way is actually such a crucial thing, a vital element of a marriage.

Its what sets apart this relationship from all the others we have in the name of family - in this one relationship - you bare yourselves; literally - mind, body, heart and soul. You want that one person with whom you need not hide, need not be scared to share anything, the one person in this world who knows you better than everyone else and in return you do the same for them; you accept them and love them, just as much.

It may seem comical at first as to why a previously married man would be so nervous or be so silly about this; but it is not...which is why in the end he says I am in love with you and one day I will reveal that to you.

This man has been scalded before - yes he has been intimate with another woman - he has bared himself with another human being first and even has two children with that woman...but that woman never loved him like she should have or even if she did, she fell out of it. He realized he was rejected on all counts there are by this woman - his appearance, his worth as an individual - monetary and otherwise were all zilch to her, he was rejected.

He became the worst version of himself post that until this woman found him, came in his life and with her patience, love and care transformed him, healed him. He knows she has seen him at his worst possible, she is bringing him to being the best version of the man he could be.

With this woman he has already bared parts of his heart, his soul and even physically he has been in situations with her where she has seen him almost in the nude - twice.

Now he wants to bare it all - literally and metaphorically - he doesnt want to hold back and hide any part of himself from her - the good, the bad and the ugly...he wants her to see him, all of him - mind, body, heart and soul and yearns for the same from her.

They have formed a definite understanding, he knows they are in love but unable to confess/express it and now he yearns for that love in all its forms. He wants to be able to hold her just because as and when he feels like it, give her a kiss, he wants to be able to do what two people in love do - express it freely and that is where the need for intimacy steps in. When you love someone you want to be able to express it, you want that person to not shy away from you nor do you want to stay away from that person...the need to love and be loved is the most basic in every person there is.

Recently they shared a moment where it was evident - she longs to kiss him/be kissed by him just as much as he does, physical love is the ultimate expression of love after all.

It though holds true that for that love to transpire you need to open up...while he is on the right track, Raman needs to change his MO. He has to realize when he bares his heart the roads would open up themselves for them to come together 😳

This is the only relationship where the need to own and possess can be achieved by giving over, surrendering yourself first - after all the world' oldest system also begins with give and ends with take. 😳

Edited by EkPaheli - 10 years ago

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Swathi

@swathibalan

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

He is in love. And knows she is too.

But that was not enough. He knows that their marriage is still incomplete. Just like they are - without their becoming Do Jism Ek Jaan

He talked about sealing the deal when he proposed her with the engagement ring

Now he wants to ensure with the seal the missing ingredient is added to complete their marriage.

His actions might look funny and stupid for a person who is already experienced in the matter, but then his experience in love is new

He has never felt this way before. Never been loved the way she loves him

He wants her but on her terms, her comfort at the intimacy.

He doesn't want to do anything that will hurt her or make her uneasy

He wants her to savor every moment of their marriage just the way he will.

That shows how truly he loves her and how much he wants her not just on his terms but more on hers.

The desire of intimacy is the desire to share one's innermost self with another - Dan Mcadams

Words from a song I just LOVE says it all

Baby, I'd love you to want me

The way that I want you, the way that it should be

Baby, you'd love me to want you

The way that I want to if you'd only let it be

Edited by swathibalan - 10 years ago

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--Megha--

@--Megha--

Sparkler

Posted: 10 years ago

Beautiful Gan ❤️

I liked the quote more than the collage today 😊 It really has a beautiful message.

N I loved this aspect of handling relationship shown in the serial, It was indeed a huge step from Couch to bed. 😊 N also this journey form couch to bed with all its ups and downs was quite interesting.

Edited by mnr123 - 10 years ago

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WhyAmIHereAgain

@WhyAmIHereAgain

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

lovely collage.. unresing when u update..😉

unres

Lovely quotes... kaise karte ho tum log pata nahi... aot quote for apt situation... brilliant creativity

i saw few posts regarding y he requires a condom.. isnt ishita infertile...

dont know y.. these posts are irking me a lot... i m so relieved it wasnt shown tht raman is thinking that he doesnt need it for the obvious reason... tht wud have been too param like for me...

i find it so natural tht ishita was dumbfounded by tht packet.. n not even crossing her mind tht raman wants to take the next step... coz it is an unknown territory.. yes she is in love, yes she is the wife..but their relationship didnt start like normal couples do...even in arrange marraige...

i m sorry my thoughts are very incoherent rite now... firstly watching the epi once more now... n my mind is somewhere else..

Thanks for the lovely post..

Edited by shalz_123 - 10 years ago

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UNICE

@Annthew

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

Beautiful collage . Awesome quote. 👏 Loved the epi.,

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Eyes-Wide-Shut

@Eyes-Wide-Shut

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

G! I loved the collage and the write up 😳

All the fun and jokes aside, I liked today's episode for it's message especially for Indian tv audience. And I don't mean it a condescending manner implying that Indian's are sexually archaic, NO far from it. I am elated that an Indian prime time soap is talking about intimacy and it's role in a marriage/relationship.

What brilliance on part of the makers to show Raman being the manly man and like you pointed out 'experienced' in the subject of sexy time thinks of showing his love towards Ishita via physical intimacy, to him that's the natural next step forgetting momentarily their complicated relationship history.

Ishita was apt in her reaction, extreme shock at finding condoms because in her mind she still thinks Raman finds her unattractive and behenji and this due to her own insecurities. Brilliant once again for the makers to have Ishita apologize, what a masterstroke!

Puttar is being adamant at increasing his fangirl club numbers and thereby increasing competition for me became all gentlemanly and all our hearts melted into a puddle ❤️. He realized that he is dealing with someone not sexually mature and has insecurities with intimacy so he did what he does best, backed off and started planning for plan B to profess his love

G I hope they show him serenade her, take her out on dates, start with a little hand holding, maybe a peck on the cheek, a hug, and then proceed to sexy time. It would be a 1st on Indian television to show a married man serenade his wife, to get to know her before taking that 'big' step. I say this not so us fangirls can get cute Ishra moments, I say it because physical intimacy is a very important part of any relationship, and it's imperative for a successful marriage to have both partners satisfied both emotionally and physically.

Dating after marriage, now that's some nayi soch! 😎

"It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;"it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others." - Jane Austen

For Ishra, it may take 7 days, 7 months or 7 years, the fact that they keep growing together is a good enough message for the society

Edited: Sorry this sounds like a sermon and I feel like a priest lecturing about sexual intimacy at Sunday church 🤣

Edited by Eyes-Wide-Shut - 10 years ago