Posted:
Reserved.
Thank you for this, Aani. Much needed. I have lots to say...will come back.
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*EDIT* ...Not Proofread. Please excuse the errors.
I don't really know where to begin. I hope I can keep my thoughts on track. Brace yourself...this might be long...I might get carried away.
When the Mani track started, there was a lot of speculation (I don't really read the spoilers, watch the on location videos, or get into predicting what's going to happen next) about how RKB would driven to a fit of rage in which he would confess his love. To be honest, the thought made me cringe because I don't want these two to confess because they are driven to do so by any third party or outside influence. If and when they confess, I want it to be because they want to, because they can't keep denying their feelings, because they need each other to know that its not only for Ruhi anymore, and that it hasn't been for a long time. And, when it happens, I want it to be subtle, understated...perhaps in the privacy of their bedroom without any over the top planning for the "perfect moment".
On the other hand, I was excited to see that RKB was going to get a slight push into the direction of realizing and accepting that he's developed deeper feelings for his wife (because lets face it, without that push, he would have continued to ignore what his heart's been hinting at for quite some time now). So, I was excited to see where it would lead, because, as others have said, this was probably the most important track we've seen thus far (minus marrying for Ruhi's custody, of course).
When the track started, a jealous RKB was, well, for lack of a better term, cute. Initially, I enjoyed seeing him squirm as much as Ishita did. And the day of the golu pooja, when we had Blue vs. Red RKB face-off, I was happy to see that he was finally accepting that maybe he was jealous of his wife's BFF. Finally, we were moving in the right direction. RKB had gotten the push that he needed and he started questioning his feelings for her.
It was about the same time that I was ready for Mani to pack his bags and go. The Mani jhaap was getting to be a bit irritating and I found it to be a bit demeaning towards Raman that Ishita would literally turn to Mani for every little thing (including the dry-cleaning and mechanic needs of her home - sorry, that was a bit much for me. As if RKB can't call a mechanic. I undertsand it was needed to show Mani > RKB, but the CVs were way off the mark there). I think by this point, Mani had served his purpose. He'd tapped into RKB's jealousy, eaten up a lot of Ishita's time making her hubby feel sidelined, and made RKB sit up and question his equation with his wife. It was perfect...and, if handled correctly, would have been enough to get the IshRa "hum aapke hai kaun" ball rolling - without further input from Mani.
[Side Note: It was also around this time that Ishita started becoming a typical 7:30 bahu that I had a very hard time relating to...there were so many instances when I wanted to smack the CVs for being, well, dumb. I guess I could go on complaining, but that's not the point of this post (and there's no use in crying over spilt milk in this case).]
What we got instead was a track in which Ishita-Mani's friendship had turned cute jealousy into a rehashing of all of RKB's past insecurities. This was the point of the track. To remind the viewers that these two have both 1) been through horrible heartbreak 2) extremely afraid of rejection 3) very insecure when it comes to relationships...and therefore, they were afraid of admitting to even themselves, that they've moved on from the "Sirf Ruhi Ke Liye" clause.
The last 10 days of October were pure hell. For the characters, and the viewers, who were forced (thanks to the incredible talent of the main leads), to live IshRa's bitter pain, anger, angst, and overwhelming sorrow with them.
Ishita's plight...that this man, who is her husband, who she is irrevocably in love with, is still living in his past and may never be able to love her back. His indifference reminding her that she's not enough...never will be.
Raman's reminder of the fact that he's failed once before in marriage and now, he's failing all over again. His worst fear coming true...history, repeating itself...while she, the recently discovered object of all of his affection, continued to pour salt on his still healing wounds.
BOTH grappling with the idea that they've been REJECTED yet again.
Throughout the track, all I craved for was conversation. A mature conversation that would put an end to all the misunderstandings. I just wanted these two to start talking, to let out all their frustration and fear. Stand naked and vulnerable in front of each other and figure out where to go from there...how to begin building this relationship from the ground up, like any mature adults would do. They've both been there...in that place where you're rejected and dejected. Who better to share in their pain and insecurities, to understand, than each other?
Which is precisely why, when the very controversial bedroom scene happened, I was elated. I was so happy to finally see a confrontation because they were finally talking. I had craved this conversation for so long that I didn't care how it came to be or what the circumstances were. I don't condone a husband manhandling his wife for any reason, but I know that RKB wouldn't have forced himself on her. The entire scene was merely a hurt, broken man, desperately crying out for help. Desperately asking his wife to want him, because he was, mind, body, and soul, hers...and even though he wasn't good enough for him, he was desperately asking for a chance...just one chance, to try to prove himself and how much he needed her. More-so than his actions in that scene, I was hung up on his words. On his desperation for her to lay claim on him. He said he would teach her about his haq on her as a husband, but in the end, he asked it of her instead...
Sorry to digress - can you tell I loved the scene?
Anyway, after that, I was sure that finally, Ishita would see that she'd rehashed his insecurities in the worst way possible. (I'm not blaming solely Ishita here...they are both equally responsible for the mess that was made)...and I was sure that that would lead to both of them coming clean, laying all their cards out...because surely, after a confrontation like that, you can't just wake up the next morning as if nothing happened (as we've seen them do time and again)...right? Right. I was convinced. RKB would question her about her "I love you, Mani", and Ishita would question him about his accusations and indifference. And finally, with all the questioning, we'd see them have a mature conversation, and sort out the issues. No confessions needed...just, lay it all out there, admit their mistakes, and land upon a mutual understanding.
SO, you can imagine my surpise when none of that happened. This man saw his wife tell another man she loved him and should leave her husband and child for him. This woman, was publicly humiliated by her husband who later, went so far as to "force himself" on her and accuse her of infidelity.
And the very next day, we wake up to their pretending as if nothing has happened.
To say that I was shocked would be the understatement of the year. I couldn't understand what Sonali was thinking. I understand this is REEL life, but Sonali too is a married woman with kids, surely she understands that issues such as jealousy, infidelity and manhandling, in a marriage cannot be brushed aside. I don't care if this show is for entertainment purposes. You have to be a fool (sorry, there's just no other way to say it. Not pinpointing any one person, the creative team as a whole though) to think that your audience will be on board because you dish out cute flirtatious moments between the leads instead of tackling the many issues that they have in their marriage. Even if one is to argue that any kind of discussion at this point would lead to an all out confession, and they are trying to delay that as much as possible, I'm sorry, I simply don't buy it. The show was advertised as one that would appeal to a mature urban audience, well, I'm sorry, but a mature urban audience understands that the issues here are grave and can not be overlooked. Can. Not.
To be quite frank, I don't think these two are even ready to confess their love and take their relationship forward. They have so many unresolved issues that need, no, require attention, that it would be stupid of them to confess their feelings at this juncture - the trust issues being the biggest. Ishita is right, relationships, especially between a husband and wife, cannot work without a mutual trust and respect. Until they can learn to trust themselves, and each other, they will not be able to make this work, and this needs to be addressed. If they confess now, all their underlying issues will also be brushed under the rug and never confronted. They'll enter this superficial zone in which they begin to overlook things because "we're in love, so nothing else matters". That would only be further character assassination if you ask me.
(Sorry, I digressed again)
I told Rajji a few weeks ago that I crave a phase of IshRa's relationship in which they were truly friends & confidants, where they could get to know one another as individuals, and subtly flirt with one another, and really grow, as two individuals who were bound in a relationship under not so great circumstances, but who have learned to appreciate one another and the space they occupy in each other's lives.
Well, here we are...at this phase. And, well, I can't enjoy it because I don't even understand how we got here. Lets see:
Day 1:
Him: My wife loves another man, she's going to leave me. I failed at marriage a second time. I'm not good enough.
Her: My husband is still stuck in his past. He doesn't even see me...see how much I care. I love him, but he will never be able to love me. I'm not good enough. I wasn't 6 years ago, I'm not now.
Him: My wife loves another man, she's going to leave me. I failed at marriage a second time. I'm not good enough.
Her: My husband is still stuck in his past. He doesn't even see me...see how much I care. I love him, but he will never be able to love me. I'm not good enough. I wasn't 6 years ago, I'm not now.
Day 2:
Him: YOU are MY wife. I am YOUR husband. I refuse to let you go. I am not the man I was 6 years ago when another woman walked out on me. I'm stronger that that this time around. I will prove it to you by force if I have to.
Her: I don't deserve to be at the receiving end of your pain, anger, and frustration over everything you went through 6 years ago. I may love you, but I don't deserve this, I don't have to stand for it, and I won't.
Day 3:
Him: My wife only told that man she loves him because he was helping her help me? Oh. Okay...I guess I should apologize for not trusting her...but, why would she tell another man she loves him and is ready to leave me for him? ...I guess that doesn't matter. She saved me from Ashok!
Her: He apologized and smiled flashing that cute dimple. Oh how I love that dimple. I love him. Wait, he manhandled me the other day? Oh, that's ok. I'm his wife. He can do whatever he wants. Besides, he was drunk.
Day 4:
Both: Here, have a piece of this sweet Mani (the one that caused all these MUs between us) brought us and forget about all the pain, anger, frustration, angst, and insecurity we've experienced over the past few weeks. Besides, it's diwali. Lets focus on the good (you're wonderful and I love you) and pretend the bad stuff (I thought you were cheating on me and therefore had to lay my claim on you) never happened. If we just pretend none of this ever happened, we can move on from all of this and never have to explain ourselves or show our vulnerable sides and we'll never face rejection again! Yes. Good plan! I knew there was a reason I liked u and wanted to keep you around!
Meanwhile, Viewers: Wait...WHAT?!?!?
On a serious note, It all comes down to this. Not only were we, as viewers, cheated of the conversation that should have ensued, but, more importantly, so were these characters. And the weird thing is, day 1, the night they spent time in jail, I thought, great, they're pretending nothing ever happened, and we're back to square one, we've been here before - this tom and jerry act. Nothing unusual between these two. But then, a few hours later, there was hand holding, and teasing, and blushing...and all the sudden, RKB was hugging the guy that his wife was allegedly having an affair with. Again, WHAT?!?! ...And then it continued with a full on mutual acceptance and vocalization of the place they held in each other's lives and it was all nothing short of a full on confession, if you ask me. Only, it doesn't makes sense. It's hard to digest...because one very important link remains missing.
All I wanted was ONE conversation. Just one. No confession, just conversation. After the past few weeks, we deserved one mature conversation...THEY deserved it. It was too much...the track. The pain, frustration, angst, insecurity...it was too much to just be brushed aside like this. The audience was literally hurting and crying along with IshRa...and now it's like it was all for naught. Like these past 10 days never happened...and I, for one, am unable to just let it go.
I am hoping against hope that this track is not yet over. That he will confront her about saying "I love you, Mani" and she will ask him about his words to her in their bedroom, his insecurities. But, I know that it will never happen, so I shouldn't hold my breath.
I feel bad, for us, and these characters that got zero closure. The characters, literally have bled over their heartache, and now, its as if it was all for naught. I guess, I am simply unable to get over the fact that everything was forgiven and forgotten with zero resolution.
I want to be able to enjoy these cute, sweet moments of these fools in love flirting with each other and stealing glances. Sadly, I can't because all that's left hanging in the thick air between them. I can't get on board because I don't understand how they got here...from infidelity and manhandling, to this place...where they really are, fools in love. As are we.
So where do we go from here? Get on board with IshRa and pretend none of it happened? I'm not sure I can.
I guess I should end here. But not before I thank YOU, Aani, and the other writers on this forum for giving us the IshRa we crave...that we will never see on screen. I shall fulfill my desire for everything left unsaid via your works of fiction. So thank you for that.
And thank you, also, for this space, which has allowed me to vent out my frustrations.
God bless us all, and this show.
Love,
~P
~P
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