OS : 'Letter from Raman to Raman' (29th Oct) - Page 4

Originally posted by: -Payal-

OH MY GOD.

RES.

********************

I'll start by saying: No need to respond to this. We've already discussed it all at great length! 😆

Rajji! I'm speachless at this. Beautifully written.

Everything in that letter is everything you and I have talked about (seemingly to no end) over the past week or so.

You've penned it wonderfully. I am floored by this piece of yours.

Lets start from the word go: That Quote. It says it all, really.

The letter. Everything from his inability to talk to anyone about his problems to his being, well, alone...we've discussed it to no end, but, the way you've penned it here...it is on point. It's everything. Every. Thing. Everything.

"I need to let it all out and I can't talk to anyone...but there are some things you can't share with anyone, not even your best friend. For those things, a dog would be perfect. It'll dive its eyes into yours and pretend to listen to everything you have to say without judging you..."

@Bold: I can attest to this. Dogs are nothing short of angels.
And yes, as we've discussed, it wouldn't make sense for him to share what he's going through with anyone besides her.

"Ruhi said she wanted to go with her Ishima. I can't blame her. Why would she stay here? At Vandita's place, there is Tingu, and Muttu, while here there's only drunk papa...Sometimes I wonder how she... how we managed before Ishita came into our lives...?." THIS HURTS! Especially the part about 'drunk papa'...I can't.

"... hearing her voice-mail message is all I got right now, and I'm hanging onto it." As we said, he'll hang on to anything he can.

"Problem is she LIED to me. SHE. LIED. TO ME. Shagun lied to me before, but never did it hurt that much. Shagun used to lie about little things here and there, even before she was cheating on me. But Ishita... She is not like that." He knows better than to compare her to Shagun...as we've seen, he'll compare himself to Shagun before he compares her to Shagun.

" I am not gullible. I am not the old Raman anymore. I don't get fooled easily now." Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you.

"If she could read into my heart... that would make everything so much easier. Then she'll know how much I love her, how much I need her and how much I am afraid. Afraid of being unworthy of love." We've killed this one. You know how I feel about this.

"People didn't like me because I didn't let them love me." Exactly. Six years ago, he was the one to shut them out.

"Then Ishita came into my life, and she brought ruhi back to me too. My heart felt whole again... It made me want to put it out there again, to let people touch it. All because of Ishita... And then, I wanted HER to come close to my heart, to see how beautiful it was even though it had been ripped out and stomped upon once before. So slowly, I let her unfold me, I let her put down all of my barriers and brush away my fears so she could make her way to my heart. I felt like if anyone in this world could still love me, it was her...

But apparently I was wrong. Deadly wrong... She came, she saw, and she left."

@All of it, but mostly the underlined: MY HEART. It's not strong enough...

"She lied to me... Yet, I still want to believe I've imagined everything. That's what my heart makes me want to do : ignore everything and believe her every word. I want to trust her. I really want to. But it's hard. I may be over Shagun now, but I'm still not over the wounds she inflicted me. THIS. His heart constantly trying to remind him that what he saw/heard, what his head is telling him to believe is right...simply isn't. His heart knows her better than that.

"When I'm with her - with ishita - I feel like the best has yet to come. With someone like her sharing my life, I have something to look forward to everyday, I have a reason to get out of bed every morning. And I don't want to let go of that. I can't afford it or else i'll lose myself again."

@Bold: Daydream about these words with me for a moment.

He is afraid. Afraid that if he loses her, he will fall back into the hell he was living in 6 years ago...and this time, he'll fall faster than he can imagine.

"I started to want her love too. That's when I failed our marriage - or should I say our contract? Love, it was not part of the deal." Again it goes back to the fact that he has failed...not once, but twice. Twice.

"She brought hope back into my life, she brought me light and faith and I don't ever want to live one day without these things. She... She brought me back to life." She did...and sadly, with her Mani jaap, she's killing him all over again.

"We HAVE to give ourselves a second chance, a third chance... F*ck this, we have to give ourselves ALL of the chances!" I love this. He won't let anything stand between them. Not even her.

"God, I'll forgive you for what you did to me 6 years ago, if today, you let me have Ishita." THIS. THIS IS EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

And so is this:

"Say you love me to my face Raman. Just say you want me, that's all it'll takes."

His interaction with Ru (Have I told u lately how much I miss her?)...the way you've penned it Rajji...I can't even express. I can just imagine him taking his princess into the tightest bear hug with tears threatening to spill over. RuMan are my favorite. They are. Seriously. They make my heart happy.

All I will say is this: I Heart You. I do.

Love,

~P

Originally posted by: columbia

Awww 🤗

Looks like the whole crazy assault scene really affected yyou. Satyanash ho cvs ka who have made rajjii who is always happy and brings smile on our faces this emo! But also thankful becos it made you write such a wonderful OS hugs to you my dear

See something always. Comes out of everything

Loving the high emotional nature of the OS really really so Raman!!!

Love love hugs hugs

Originally posted by: rajji-cutest

Payal ! 😃

When i opened the blank page on my laptop, i wanted to write "a letter from rajji to rajji" (i do that when i get insomnia, it helps) but then i didn't want to write about be, i wanted to live in someone else's shoes for a couple of hours and so i decided to be Raman. And i started to pen down how things are and how they should be and basically everything i know about him.

I didn't felt like i was RKB but i tried my best and that's what i come up with.

then i let it sit for maybe 72hours, added some changes (the part about the fight and everything after the actual letter : ruhi and ishita scenes) to it and finally posted it.

Letters to yourself to help with insomnia? And it works? How come you've not shared this secret with me before? I must try this. I must.

Exactly what I was thinking while reading this. You know RKB so well, Rajji! You do! You get him - you get what he was, where he's been, who he was, and who he is...and you're able to put words to every emotion this man has ever lived. And that is a feat in itself. It's incredible. I wish I could put emotion to words the way you do.

I liked the fact that it distracted my from insomnia and i liked the fact that i could spend some time alone with Raman (is it weird when i put it like that?😆) but i didn't quite like the result. It doesn't get to my heart. Maybe it's because i've written it. I don't know, i feel like something is missing. Anyways. I'm very happy from all the positive feedback. Especially yours !!

Did you just say you're spending time alone with MY RKB? (Yes, you read that correctly, I said MY.) ...and did you aslo say you liked the fact?...I don't approve of such shenanigans. I don't. 😳

How can this NOT get to your heart? Take a break and come back to it in a few days. It's sheer brillaince. It is.

I'm happy that i didn't disappoint. 😃

You never do!

See, when i tell you that your PMs are enlightening me, i'm not lying! I didn't realize it while writing it but now i do find our PMs in the OS, so i can say that most the credit for this goes to you !

No my dear, this was all you! I was just so happy to see it all here in one place, penned so simply, and beautifully. This, was the culmination of everything our hearts have endured these past few weeks, Rajji. This was it. Kudos, my dear! ...and Thank You!

PS: This was brilliant, but I missed your caps today. Come back with some funnies tomorrow, K? Please 😳

🤗❤️