Originally posted by: aimf
I rarely post anything anymore, but today I wished to share some
thoughts with you all. With the forum justifiably erupting into a
volcano of emotions, I have written something about Ishra from the
psychological angle, discussing the trajectory of their growth.
Although
the current track is rather unpopular, primarily because of Ishita's
obtuseness regarding the cause of Raman's anger, the CVs of YHM have
proved once again that human relationships are complex,
not only because of the complexities of the personalities involved, but
also because the people participating in the relationship are not static
beings, but are growing, sometimes even due to the relationship. If we
take a step back from seeing the entire situation in black and white,
from trying to decipher who is right and who is wrong, there is a lot of
undercurrent material that lends itself to a profound story of two
insecure individuals although brought together by circumstances, are
unaware that they transcended the very exigencies of the situation
(Ruhi) that brought them together, but are yet to understand how to
relate to each other.
Ishita:
For
a long time after the marriage, Ishita was in denial about Raman's
thoughtless acts
arising from the hurt of his first marriage. No matter how much Raman
would insult her, Ishita would bounce back very quickly and act as
though everything was normal, leaving the forum vaasis to wonder what
was wrong with her. It was not that Ishita was being too mahan or
forgiving, as some of us mused; rather the denial was her coping
mechanism through which she
could continue staying in the marriage. We saw this resilience after
every mishap, be it the holi dance, or the Pervmeet track. Denial is
Ishita's comfort zone or has been till recently. Therefore, she is
unable to see that her husband is crazily smitten with her. Unable or
unwilling? Perhaps both. Unable because of her denial, unwilling because
she then has to let go of the hurt of her past of not being wanted due
to her infertility.
With the Mani track, we suddenly see Ishita, more confident of herself, more willing to stand up for
herself and her rights. We see her less willing to compromise, less
willing to give in, a development that saw its culmination in
yesterday's episode. Is this development is a result of her increasing
comfort with Raman --finally Ishita is feeling safe enough in the
relationship to feel unsafe? Or it is new boost in her confidence the
result of Mani's reentry into her life? Perhaps it is a bit of both.
Regardless, for a people-pleasing person like Ishita, although painful,
this is a much needed growth spurt.
I do not fault Ishita for
having a male friend. Ishita has always been the kind
of person for whom it is easier to get along with, and confide, in men
rather
than women. We have seen this in the special bond she shares with her
father, with Mr Bhalla, and with Bala. I do however think that her
dalliance with seeing a jealous Raman has had dangerous consequences.
The reason for Ishita's heavy dependence on Mani (other than for the CVs
to drag this track along), is because perhaps the greatest thing that
she misses with Raman is what Mani gives her very easily: a kind of a
companionship for Ishita's samaj-seva instincts, where she can go help
people she loves, where she is not challenged. Rather than being a
friend, Mani is more of a yes-man, a personal super genie of sorts with
riches and contacts who can make things happen the way Ishita wants them
to happen, be it solving the Romy-Sarika fiasco, or retaining her
husband's business tycoon title. The reason Ishita chooses not to
confide in Raman is because he challenges her, and forces her to pay
attention to herself and her needs, instead of running around trying to
do good in the world with an impulsiveness that has only proved, at
times, to be too costly.
Raman:
For Raman, too, the
current
track is an opportunity for self-growth and for emerging out of his
painful past. It is interesting to see that he idolizes Ishita even as
he is rehearsing his hatred for her. He cannot stand her; yet he cannot
let her go, symbolized by the bracelet that he keeps throwing away only
to remorsefully retrieve it afterwards. Raman cannot deny that Ishita is
the cause of all the ways in which he has changed and become a better
person. Raman's ego wants to conquer Ishita's heart, but he is yet to
understand that conquest in love cannot happen without surrender.
Additionally, Raman has to see that he is responsible for his own
growth.While Ishita can support and inspire him to grow, she cannot
accomplish
it. This is something that Raman has to choose to do for himself.
It
is
said that one cannot love another fully until one has dealt with
one's own issues. This is exactly what is happening in the lives of
Ishita and Raman. They are going through the internal angst of battling
their inner demons, and in the process have developed tunnel vision so
that they only perceive things in accordance to their assumptions. They
need to set aside the glasses of their past and clear their vision of
cataracts of suspicion and frustration.
Also on the main forum: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4207572/ishras-growth-and-the-current-track
Cricket
Arjun
Jhanak
