Raman Kumar Bhalla: Broken & Still Mending (Updated: Pg 2)

I haven't penned my thoughts like this about a show in over a year...bear with me. I am too moved today to not allow myself time to reflect.

Raman.

How frustrated this man must be to carry the burden of his emotions deep within him and find that he is simply unable...too afraid...to emote.

He hung his head as if ashamed of himself for not looking after her better when the doctor was saying she should be fasting.

Exactly, it was like he took all the blame upon him, and then looked over at Mani to see if he shared that blame (to not have been a better person to her all this time) but obvisouly Mani didn't. Mani is back in her life for only a few days, so he can't feel what is Raman feeling right now. Loved the difference of bodu language in that scene : raman lowering himself and mani sitting straight, unphased.

Words can't express how moved I am after today's episode...I'm so touched at the beauty and depth of his love for Ishu...a love that's silent and strong, and yet unknown to him.

Totally agree, and with this unspoken love, there is a deep need for her in his life. Not as his wife, or friend or as the mother of his child, but as Ishita. Raman needs Ishita, purely and simple. It's not about what she can do for him, or WHAT she means to him, she just is someone important to him and he needs her.

How did he get here? To this place where he's rooted just outside her door, unable to take his eyes off of her, breaking under the assault of her weakened, near-lifeless form, longing for a reaction, any reaction, from her. My heart stopped when he pressed his hand up against the door. The door, a metaphor for the invisible wall between them...the barrier, that both are perhaps too afraid to cross. We haven't heard the male version of the BG score in a wile, but it was perfect in that brief moment...where it was just him, and her, and his heart, pleading with hers, to hear his silent request, and respond accordingly.

Exactly. That door was both a barrier and a shield at the same time.

"Tumse jhagde bina mera mann nahi lagta...utho meri Jhansi Ki Rani." His plead to her, his consistent, silent prayer to whatever higher power there is...it was all evident in those few moments as he stood rooted outside her door. He said those words to her then, in the safety zone...for if that barrier was not there, he may not have the courage to show his vulnerable heart to her.

First I thought that maybe this "MERI" was forced our way from the cv's so I was rejecting it. But then I looked back at it and accepted it : raman has been putting up a front of a man who doesn't to love or to be loved, but in that moment, he allowed himself to whisper out loud for the first time that Ishita was HIS [insert anything you want]. They may fight a lot, but it's THEIR little fights, he taunts her a lot too, but he taunts something that is HIS. Ishita might have been a lot of people's friend, she even almost became someone else's wife (subbu, and the second fiance whose name I forgot) but she is HIS JKR only. Basically he admitted that Ishita meant something to him and not on the base of the "sirf ruhi ke liye" contract, not even under the wife status, Ishita means something to Raman.

[...allow me to digress for a moment. We've her him call her meri biwi plenty of times, but hearing him say "meri JKR" today tugged at my heart. This is the first time Mr. RKB has tagged her as HIS in such an endearing way. My heart can't take it. I'm so touched.]

Totally understand the way you feel ! By saying "my wife" he gave her a place in his life under the status of the woman he married (which is quite limited when you look at it). By saying "my JKR" he gave her a place without any condition and under no status.

Ahem, coming back...

Hence the outburst when he DID cross the threshold of her room when he was told she finally gained conscious. Or was it? You'd think he again protected his heart and masked his fear the only way he knew how...by covering it in a blanket of anger. But really, that wasn't the case at all. This time, he wasn't hiding his fear. He was voicing it. Loud and clear. "Navratri khatam hote hote tum khatam ho jaaogi." ...If anything happens to you, what will I do?

Raman was at first totally calm, he told her "no more fasting" and he considered it like a sealed deal but Ishu surprised him (and myself) by saying that she would continue the fast. I WANTED to shake her out of her fast but that's not the way to treat a patient right? so if I had been in the room with her I would have CONVINCED her to eat, but Raman has a short temper so he started to shout. I'm not surprised by his outburst at all. The more she insisted, the more he got angry and tensed up because he was reminded of all that happened, like when he says "behosh hogayi ho!"

His anger was not misplaced at all. In fact, don't we all do the same? When a loved one is injured or unwell, after the initial "are you ok?", we become angry with them for not taking better care of themselves, for we couldn't fathom if something were to happen to them. That anger was his love, fear, guilt, all rolled into one...and his inability to conceive what he would do if anything were to harm her for she, as he said, was his strength...

"Do you even realize how worried I got because of you?" Raman's voice, and his expression... MASTERPIECE. The light tremble at the end of his line showed how genuinely affected he was and how it's painful to even think about it, even now that Ishita is "awake and fine".

And that "Bas!" he says that to her about her fast but also to himself "Bas. Stop thinking about all that, she is fine now, let's move forward." And I'm pretty sure he was teary eyes at this moment.

Rewind to that scene.

He sees his brother and saali openly declare their love for each other, share a warm embrace...and he is moved to tears because he misses her. They've never shared such lovey dovey moments as the one he's just witnessed between MiMi, and yet, he finds himself reminiscing about moments with her that he didn't realize were special for him...moments that would perhaps seem mundane to an outsider, but for him, it was those small mundane moments with her which he cherished.

I wished they had picked the dance in the rain instead of the trip-catch-eyelock scene because I'm pretty sure this moment was more meaningful to Ishita than him. You could argue that it probably meant a lot for him but he didn't show it but I think it's more Cv's/editors laziness that is in cause. They picked up the first scene they thought of...

That was all it took. That small realization that he felt for her...and the floodgates opened. Suddenly, he was broken under the weight of his pain, fear, guilt, frustration. It was all too much to bear and every emotion flowed out of him in the form of tears.

SO TRUE : he felt. There is no need for a noun after those two words. Now here it is the flooding of tears. I wondered why you didn't mentioned it above.

Karan's acting : 👏👏👏

We've seen RKB break down before, in a drunken stupor, for his child. But we have never seen RKB break down like this...in a fully conscious state, for his wife.

👏👏👏

My heart went out to this broken man today. A man who was left so devastated by his past that it has lead him to be unable to show his loved ones how much he cares.

Hence the unbearable guilt of the harsh words and teasing he's thrown her way...the guilt of only taking from her, his strength, and not being able to give anything in return.

His final statement, "kuch nahi hoga usse", was perhaps his testament to her giving nature...she was his strength...and she herself wouldn't take that away from him. She'd be okay because she had to know...he needs her.

THIS . ALL OF THIS.

Cut to Mani...I'll make this quick 'cause I don't wanna spend too much time on him (he's not worth it). 😆

I have to just say it. Who the heck is this guy?!?! He makes me so mad. I was enjoying Raman's realization when he initially showed up, but now, he's just unbearable. He's done what he came to do, and now I'm ready for this guy to pack his bags and exit. What authority does he have to tell Raman how to behave - that too, in front of his kid and wife. I was miffed...and so very glad when Raman walked up to him and said "we need to talk".

I've stopped paying attention to Mani for now. All I know is that he is meddling to much in Ishita's life (notice how I said ISHITA and not IshRa's life. Mani is too much onto Ishita to begin with.) Why does he behave like that when he knows Raman is around ?

Those words from Raman were music to my ears. Finally, two mature adults, having a mature discussion...or so I thought. I so wanted Raman to give Mani a piece of his mind...but the conversation didn't go as I expected at all.

Those cv's know how to ruin our expectations !

I was under the impression that Raman would simply say "I appreciate your help and concern, but I can take care of my wife, so I'd appreciate it if you'd say within the limits of your friendship." Never had I expected Raman to try and prove himself as a good husband to this man, and quite honestly, I don't think it was needed.

That was literally painful to watch. "I did this ... and I did that... what did you do uh?" SERIOUSLY RAMAN?

He simply does not owe this character, who showed up yesterday, any explanation what-so-ever. He preaches to Raman about not knowing his own wife, about manners and relationships, while simultaneously judging a man he doesn't know a thing about.

Yes, he didn't need to do that

plus it made it feel like he was making this whole matter about him when Ishita should be the main concern of everyone.

Also I didn't like that he insulted Mani and Ishita's friendship. Friendship, even from afar, even when you don't assist to your bestie wedding, is still friendship. Raman was unfair to mani (I'm not defending mani, I'm defending friendship) : mani wasn't here so Raman is judging him, and now mani is HERE and raman doesn't like it... MEH.

I've had enough of Mani. He left a horrible taste in my mouth today.

But back to Raman feeling the need to explain himself...and I'll end with this. I simply don't think the explanation, the need to prove anything, was warranted. Now whether Raman is trying to prove himself to Mani or lay his own guilt at ease by recounting the moments in which he's been there for his wife as a silent pillar in her moment of need, I simply don't know. It's possible, but I don't want Raman to have an inferiority complex so deep as to feel he needs to prove himself.

Agree.

I'd add to that, that under all of it, there was a hidden message from Raman to Mani, and it was "YOU'RE FAKE AS HELL !" : "bohot natak dekli, bohot baate sunli teri", "you're an angel to the madrasan, but you don't phase me." And that I liked !!

My heart went out to Raman today. His rediscovery of love where he least expected it, this journey he's set upon is simply beautiful. I look forward to seeing where it will lead.

Try not to have too high expectations, just in case cv's ruin it all...

Last but not least, Ru and her Ishima today. *sigh* What a beautiful bond of unconditional love.

Thanks for bearing with me and allowing to indulge myself.

🤗It takes time to write such a long post so thank YOU for putting the effort and sharing it with us .🤗

PS: KP is brilliant. He out-does himself with each consecutive performance and embodies the very essence of RKB. He is a master of his craft...his boundless talent is flawless and unparalleled.

So So right. I was wondering why you didn't mentioned it above. but here it is !