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Hey all
The following story is a desperate attempt of an uninspired and frustrated author. Please do not throw chappals if you dont like the content. Just ignore me :)
I started this as a spoof, but I do think I have some real feelings in here too... You will know what I mean 😆
This one is for quite a few people (they all know why). If I have missed anyone, please please do forgive me:: Leo, Nikki, ZD, Megha, JB, PB, Shilpa... Guys, if its not as funny as you thought it would be, I am sorry
The title needs no explanation I think
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Scene 1: City Hospital
Date & Time: Monday, 6th October 2014 7:30 PM
Doctor: What's up with this fast that Ishita did?
Mani: She's always been doing the nirjala fast since when I have known her. And you know, I know her for 20 years. We have been best friends and all
Doctor: Sorry, What's nirjala again? I studied in Foreign university, and lost touch with desi-stuff a long time ago.
Mani: Oh that means she didnt even drink water
Doctor: At least tell me she wasn't physically exerting
Mani: My friend Ishita is strong, both physically and mentally. She had a purpose for this fast. First to get a good husband, and now for her husband's prosperity and health (looks at Raman with a smirk). Raman smiles, thanks his stars for giving a woman like Ishita to him.
Doctor: Do you have her medical history?
Raman: woh...
Mani (doesn't let Raman finish): Yes, TB, Intestinal TB
Doctor: Oh, when was she diagnosed and treated
Mani: When she was 17. I was 17 too, we had just finished school. We were obviously in different colleges. You see, I was in NRI-CEO college, and she was studying to be a dentist. But we used to meet after college and on weekends and eat chaat in street cafes. She loved gol gappas and hated dahi BHALLA ( smirks at Raman again)
Doctor: oh the circumstances arent relevant. I just needed to know the age of patient at that time
Mani: No, but I had to tell you everything you see. I have been told doctors should be given complete, accurate information.
Doctor: accha, leave that. She may need blood transfusion, in case we have to do any surgery or anything like that.
Raman: Surgery huh ? what? for a fainting? for a nose bleed. (He is really worried)
Mani: Raman, please let the doctor talk
Doctor: Thank you Mr. Mani. SO, what is Ishita's blood group?
Mani: A Positive ( He says A-PLUS first, then corrects him self. he thought doctor was asking him about his credit rating in Turkey)
Doctor: OK last question. Is she allergic to anything?
Raman (thinking if he has ever seen Ishita taking any medicines other than over the counter painkillers)
Mani: MUSHROOMs...
Doctor: Cool... Thanks Mr. Mani. You are a true friend. You obviously know Ishita more than her own husband (doctor's turn to smirk at Raman now)
Raman Self-talk: How the heck is mushroom allergy medically relevant? Did they invent any mushroom-based anaesthesia that I don't know about ?
Scene 2: City Hospital
Date & Time: Monday, 6th October 2014 11:00 PM
Raman is sitting on the floor hands on his head, worried about Ishita's health. He is worried about losing her. In the last few months, he'd taunted her, made fun of her, mocked her looks, weight, cooking skills. He'd even tolerated her lectures. But suddenly, he was worried about what he would do without her. As if the interview in the doctor's office was not enough, Mani had confronted him later and told him that he was good-for-nothing man, who didn't deserve Ishita at all. "Ishita should be with someone who knows her, appreciates her. and we all know you are not that person", Mani had said. As much as Raman wanted to strangle that man, he couldnt't help but think. She was really too good for him. Had he taken her for granted? He didn't get a lot of time to contemplate. He saw his daughter and her best friend run towards him
"Papa, don't worry Ishima will be fine. You said na, she is JHansi ki Rani. She is brave, she won't let anything happen to herself. She will not leave me" Ruhi said. Raman's eyes started tearing up at the perceptive power of his daughter.
Not to be left behind, Shravan also jumped in "Yes Raman Chittapa... Chitti will be fine. I heard the doctor talking to Mani uncle"
The mention of Mani's name rattled Raman again. And as if the kids saw through him, they said in unison "arre don't worry. Doctor was looking for you, but Mani uncle lied to him saying you have gone to the pharmacy to get medicine"
Scene 3: City Hospital
Date & Time: Wednesday, 8th October 2014 7:30 PM
Turns out, she did not need any surgery at all. She was really exhausted, and the lack of proper nourishment had worsened her health. The doctors had put her on some saline IVs and injected glucose and she was discharged from the hospital in a couple of days. Before she was discharged, the doctor wanted to meet her. Both Mani and Raman had touched the back of her wheelchair at the same time, and the background music was dangerously loud for a hospital setting. But the doctor said "I want to see the patient alone". See, the doctor was foreign-educated, and in foreign, they take this doctor-patient confidentiality thing a little too seriously. Behind the closed doors in the doctor's office, Ishita was worried. She wasn't sure if she was really OK, and she was hoping she'd not hear any more bad news about her health.
Ishita: Kya hua doctor, main theek toh hoon na (touching her mangalsutra)
Doctor: I have diagnosed you, and the nose bleed was because of your BP
Ishita: But doctor, main stress nahin leti hoon. I have a large heart and a larger will power. If anything, my husband should have a BP problem because of me (she smiles remembering Raman)
Doctor: Madam, your breathing was affected, because of that your heart wasn't pumping blood properly, and hence your BP increased
Ishita: Breathing? Huh ? yeh kaise hua?
Doctor: YOu have the Kabaddi syndrome?
Ishita: Say what? Kabaddi is that game no???
Doctor: Exactly. Thankfully Pro Kabaddi league has made it popular in foreign also. Thats why I know. Anyway, do you know anything more about the game?
Ishita: (wondering if this was an exam hall) yes, you have to say kabaddi kabaddi without losing your breath and go into the opponent's area na?
Doctor: exactly, that's what happened with you too... you forgot to breathe properly
Ishita: But I didnt play kabaddi
Doctor: I logged into India-forums.com (his user id is foreign_ka_doctor) and saw that you were doing to much Mani mani mani
(At this point, the author of this post requests readers to please not throw chappals at her poor attempt of a joke)
Scene 4: Akashganga society, Mayur Vihar
Date & Time: Wednesday, 10th October 2014 11:00 PM
Everyone is gathered around Ishita in the bedroom. She is still exhausted, but putting on a brave smile for the sake of all her family members. Her friend Mani is there too. She looks around, but cannot find her husband. The ever-perceptive Ruhi looks at her and says "Ishima, Papa has gone to the pharmacy to get medicines for you." Ishita looked at her favourite punching bag "Romi, tumne unko akele kyon jaane diya? He must be so stressed, he shouldn't be driving alone in the night. You know na, Mayur Vihar ka signal raat mein kitna dangerous hota hai?" The flashback scenes showed Amma in a bandage lying on the hospital bed. Toshiji, who had just returned from her teerath yatra put her hand gently on her samdhan's shoulder and there was a sad, but soulful eye lock between them.
SCRATCH ALL THAT... the writer of this post forgot this was a 11 PM scene. she need not have shown the Amma accident flashback scene. 11 PM viewers already knew... (Lucky- you fool... got your wires crossed, didn't ya? )
scene continues:
Romi mutters something like, "Sorry Bhabhi, woh bhaiyya meri baat nahin sun rahe the"
Mani found his chance, and started slyly "Ishita, woh dont mind me saying, but Raman doesnt seem to relate to you that much."
The senior Bhallas and Iyers looked at each other sadly. It was like Mani had hit a nerve. Because no matter how much they had tried, it looked like Raman and Ishita's relationship had hit a wall. (writer's not: and their frequent appearances on the 7:30 slot had made them too sanskaari to realise that Mani could actually be lying)
That's when Ishita sat up straight. "What are you saying Mani???"
Mani explained the whole doctor interview story to her (no flashbacks needed. The 11 PM audience are advanced, they had already read the LU of the 7:30 show telecast)
Ishita's eyes went wider "How dare you Mr Abhimanyu Raghav? How dare you say that Raman doesnt know anything about me? He knows how much I weigh. He knows my favourite ice cream flavour. He knows my dress size. He knows my taste in jewellery, rather he knows what kind of jewellery I don't like. You come into my life after so many years, and suddenly you think you know me better than the man I married? GRanted, I married him for Ruhi's sake. But did you know that we are now the best of friends? We share everything with each other. Some days we even sleep on the same bed. This is a man who helps me innocently when he thinks I have a gas problem. and What did you do? get me a cylinder? How dare you think you know me better than my own husband"
Ishita hadn't realised that slowly one by one everyone in her family had left the room. They all knew her well enough by now. They did not want to get caught in the cross-fires of her lecture. Ruhi slowly passed her a glass of water. She did not want her Ishita to get breathless while giving the lecture.
"Do you know how he helped me find a rickshaw when I was caught alone in the rain? Do you know how frantically he searched for me when there was a curfew? Do you know how fast he came running to me when the curtain rod was falling on my head? do you know how he took care of me when i was accidentally drunk? Above all, do you know the amount of Patience he has. He listens to every word of mine. And you think we don;t love each other?"
Mani was now trembling. Suddenly, he remembered what he'd forgotten a long time ago "Oh crap. I forgot her JKR mode. I never thought I'd be at the receiving end one day". Mani being Mani, he just smiled and started retracing his steps to escape. He decided he didn't want her back after all. But she wasnt done yet
"Oh and you think you know me better? My blood group is NOT A positive, I did not get TB when I was 17"
Now Mani was really angry. If nothing, he was an NRI CEO. How could he not know? He was flabbergasted and started looking around... He remembered the time when his new friend Ashok had handed over a blue file to him. It had a lot of information about Ishita's medical history. Ashok had told him that it had come from Raman Bhalla's house and his source could be trusted completely.
By that time, everyone had come back into the bedroom because their special guest had arrived. There, standing by the door, his one hand on the door frame was a man with the creepiest of smiles, and the most lecherous of attitudes.
Romi's phone suddenly started ringing... it said Sarika calling... and the ringtone was "Tune maari entriyaan to dil mein baji ghantiyan"
"Kyon Mani ji, aap bhi phas gaye na humaari jaal mein???" Param asked
"Koun ho tum? kya matlab hai tumhaara? tumne yeh file Ashok tak pahunchaayi ? Lekin iska kya matlab... mujhe jhooti information kyon di? Maine toh poore 12 lakh rupaye diye the is information ke liye"
SCENE END
Param self-talk: "Mera kehne ka yeh matlab hai, ki Ishita JI aur saale saahab ko pareshaan karne ka haq toh bas mujhe hai. Aur kisiko nahin..." he is still smiling creepily...(Ishita ji toh beemari mein bhi acchi lagti hain)
PS:
Tune maari entryiyan was NOT Romi's ringtone.
That was the music that all the real 'Param' fans heard when they saw their favourite character back.
PPS:The writer of this post is also a new but die-hard fan of Param. She considered calling this spoof Tune Maari Entriyan toh dil mein baji ghantiyan, but she had promised someone that she wouldn't use such language with the changed time-slot.
PPPS? :
This was written in a rush. But emotions of a LOT of people are behind this story, so please do forgive any mistakes and bhaavnaaon ko samjho
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