There is something about rereading your old journals. It gives you a kick more than what you would have gotten had you been reading others' journals.
It holds true at least for her.
Nothing interested her more than looking back to see the path that she had travelled. To see the transformation she had undergone, the person she had come to become now.
She just closed a journal she wrote a decade back.
Even as she closed the diary, she felt the surprised smile on her face. That, she thought was one rebellious teen, she just read about.
It seemed too distant and bizarre to even think that it had been her, once upon a time.
Someone who absolutely felt strong loathe towards the institution of marriage and who had ridiculed a marriage she had attended that day, the teen she had read about can't grow up to get engaged to a person of her choice now.
The ring on her finger suddenly seemed too heavy and too big to not focus her eyes upon.
A week it had been to the day where she had got engaged to a man of her choice.
More or less.
He was her classmate from University days, someone who had been one of her good friends. It didn't surprise her when he approached her with this proposal. A woman's instincts are too strong to be ignored.
Though he never verbalized his affection on her, he showed in millions of small gestures, that he cared.
Yet, she didn't expect him to come clean about that. Not after three years after her University ended.
But he had.
On one winter morning, there had been a knock on her small studio apartment in Seattle. It was him. Surprised she was, at the sudden visit. Happy too, to see him after so long.
They had caught up with old times, much later she realized she would get late to office if she wouldn't leave. They made plans for dinner that night, and parted ways.
And when they had went out that night, the honesty in his eyes told her what he wanted to say. And when he had asked her to marry him, she had already made up her mind.
They both were from different communities, as different as chalk and cheese, yet their parents who were forthcoming about the match had hardly objected.
As she sat in her drawing room, after a week from her engagement, she reflected on everything that had happened in the last week, looking at the sea from her window...
She remembered the subtle teasing she faced from her aunts, and not so subtle teasing from her cousins.
"We always knew a person who was so against love would end up with a love marriage" were their pet line.
She reflected on that too.
Yes, he was a person who had come behind her when she had ran away after being humiliated in the entire class by running cold with nervousness and stuttered in a presentation, he was a person who had pushed the right buttons to make her temper set off, if only to make her fight her demons. He was one person who had extended help though she pushed him away, he was one person who had been a true companion in all sense. He was one person who had truly loved her.
He loved her.
And she?
She liked him.
And if there was one person she knew she would happy with, it was him. He balanced her. He understood her, he supported her.
"I do not need balance in life, I need disturbance, excitement, adventure. I need that person to come into my life and turn it upside down, like a whirlwind. And when that happens, my dearest diary, would I settle down with him. Of course after running away from him into woods like my usual self"
The fluttering page of the journal caught her attention but she closed it firmly.
Whirlwind, she thought and smiled. It was too late for that whirlwind now, she thought closing the journal, not knowing what fate had in store for her. Not knowing that there was a whirlwind brewing just in the surface, ready to blow everything away. Even her defenses...
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