Ishra TS: Dil ye bekarar kyu hai - Part 2 (Last part) updated, Pg 8 - Page 6

Part II

"The woman is driving me crazy", he thought to himself and threw his pen onto the desk, which was already cluttered with files and papers, waiting to be signed by him. He had meetings to conduct, business decisions to make, and all he could think about was how his wife was tormenting him; both physically and emotionally.

It had all begun a week ago, after Vandu akka's God bharai ceremony. After checking on Ruhi, she had come back into their room and had sat next to him, while he had been working on his laptop.

"Raman", she had called out to him. "I need to speak with you."

"Hmm", he had uttered, wondering if he had done anything during the day that warranted a lecture from her.

"I love you," she had declared in the same tone, as if it was another mundane thing she usually discussed with him at the end of each day.

He had been.. well, shocked would be putting it mildly. He had looked up then, to check if she had actually said what he had heard. He had also noticed that there was no trace of humour on her face. He had just stared at her, finally, at a loss for words.

"Raman?" She had called out again, "Raman, you're not breathing".

"Oh", he had managed in a squeak and had let out the breath he had been unconsciously holding.

She had then taken his hand in hers and had said to him soothingly, "Go to sleep now, it's late. We'll talk in the morning, okay?" He had only nodded and had obediently lain down on the bed while she had settled on the couch; but sleep had evaded him since then.

The next few days had been equally mortifying. They hadn't discussed the burning issue yet but he remembered how, the morning after, Ishita had finally cooked a decent north Indian dish. Mummy ji, on tasting the sabzi, had declared her the winner of the challenge that Raman had thrown her. Ishita had jumped in joy. Raman, who was standing next to her, had innocently extended his hand to congratulate her. But she had ignored it completely and had thrown her arms around him, engulfing him in a tight embrace. Before he could react, she had pulled away and had sauntered off to the kitchen area cheerfully, leaving him dumbfounded. As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, she had resorted to giving him a peck on his cheek every day before he left for work. He would all but run out of the house for fear of having to endure the teases of his family members.

He had confronted her the day before, in their room, wanting to put an end to whatever she was up to.

"What do you mean?" She had asked him innocently. "I told you na that I love you."

"Ishita", he had exclaimed, frustrated with her incomprehensible behavior, "Yes, you did tell me. But don't you think we need to talk about it? Don't you want to hear my opinion?"

"Okay", she had said in reply. "But I already how you feel, so don't stress yourself."

"Pray tell me, what exactly is it that you know?" He had asked her.

"That you love me too", she had replied, with a glint in her eyes.

He had thrown his hands in the air in exasperation.

"What?" she had said in a surprised tone, "Don't you love me?"

He had refused to answer that, choosing to just glare at her instead. She had stepped closer to him then and repeated, "Don't you love me, Raman?" He had noticed the change in her expression. He should have stopped her but he couldn't find the strength within himself to do it. Then placing her hands on his chest, she had kissed him gently. He had felt his heart stutter, as he closed his eyes and breathed her in, all pure and fresh. She had drawn back before he had had his fill and whispered to him, "Think about it, Raman."

Now sitting at his desk in his office, he could still feel her delicate form against his, still recall the taste of her soft lips, the fragrance of her silky hair. Try as he might, he couldn't get her out of his mind. He stopped his train of thoughts before he got carried away. He couldn't understand this sudden need that she felt to change the dynamics of their relationship. Hadn't he been wondering if she had feelings for him the very day she had confessed his love to him? But now that he knew, he wasn't so sure he had wanted to hear it from her. He was ecstatic and terrified at the same time. Terrified for her; for them. For he knew now, that it had to be love that he felt for her. How else could he explain the longings of his heart; those deep, dark desires that he knew only she could fulfill? She had been the light in his life these past few months and he couldn't afford to lose her. He had to speak to her, he had to explain to her that the most rational step for them would be to back off from one another, for the sake of their relationship; more importantly, for the sake of their daughter. He knew she would take the right decision for Ruhi. With renewed determination, he texted her saying that he needed to speak to her and that he would pick her up from her clinic after work.

Ishita read the text and smiled to herself. She had to admit that even though she knew that her Ravan Kumar was probably tearing his hair out at that very moment, she had thoroughly enjoyed putting him through this little ordeal. After her conversation with Vanditha, she had thought about her options and decided that an all out attack was the only way she could provoke Raman into understanding and coming to terms with the fact that it was high time they took their relationship one step further. But nothing had prepared her for the look of pure panic on his face when she had told him that she loved him. If they hadn't been the most important words that she would ever utter to him, she would have burst out laughing at his widened eyes and his inability to form coherent words. However, she had controlled her giggles until she had switched off the lights and hit the couch. The next few days were no different. She had amused herself by showering her affection on him when he had least expected it. She chuckled as she remembered how awkward he had felt and wondered if they would ever be able to remove these barriers between them. She didn't want to see him flinch every time she touched him. "He hadn't flinched when I had kissed him, though", she thought to herself with a smile. She sighed as she remembered how gentle his lips had felt against hers; how strong his arms had felt around her waist. She wouldn't have kissed him; she hadn't thought she was ready for it. But she was so desperate to show him what she felt for him that she couldn't resist seizing the opportunity. She looked back at her cell phone and decided that she would put an end to this game tonight. She had to convince him, one way or another that in this relationship, his fears were misplaced and their love, the truth. She knew he would resist, but she would be ready for him.

They drove on through the silent night, each of them lost in their thoughts. Ishita wondered where they were headed. They were surely outside the city limits because the roads were deserted and the air, fresher. After what seemed like an hour, he finally stopped the car. She looked out of the window and caught her breath. Beyond the tree-lined road where they had parked, was a beautiful lake. The lake was calm, apart from a few ripples that caused the water to sparkle in the moonlight. She got out and stood, leaning against the car, enjoying the light breeze that caressed her hair.

He went and stood beside her and took a moment to appreciate how mesmerizing she looked with her eyes closed and the moonlight illuminating her beautiful face.

"Ishita," his voice shook her out of her reverie. "I need to tell you something."

He was standing next to her, so she turned to face him, her hands folded over her chest.

"You said you love me. But I.. I need to remind you why we got into this relationship in the first place. It was for Ruhi. Now, would it be fair to her if we risked our relationship for something that might never work? Have you thought about how she'll deal with it if we make any mistakes?"

Since he had paused, she questioned him, "So that's it? Is Ruhi your only excuse or do you have any more lined up?"

When she saw that he had nothing but a scowl in reply to that, she continued, "Fine then. Ruhi is my daughter too and I know better than to put her happiness at stake. If I had felt that this would come in the way of her well being, I would never have broached the subject. And what did you say? Something that might never work'? Why? Do you have such little faith on us? I'm asking you again, Raman, don't you love me?"

"Damn it Ishita", he exclaimed. "Of course I love you."

He took her hand in his. "I love you so much Ishita. There's not one moment when I'm not consciously or subconsciously thinking about you. I survive each day of my life only because I know that you're a part of it. I can't imagine my life without you."

"Raman," said Ishita with tears in her eyes, "Don't you see it's the same for me? Then why do you insist on pushing me away from yourself?"

"Because I fear that I won't be able to give you what you want," he replied sadly. "I had given myself completely to Shagun and it wasn't enough for her. And what I have I given you so far, other than hurt and pain?"

"If you've given me any pain, Raman, then you have also strived equally hard to ease that pain and bring a smile on my face each time. Trust me, I'm not like Shagun. I'm really happy with you. Give me a chance to prove that to you, Raman. I want to spend the remaining years of my life as your wife; not just your daughter's mother."

He looked at her then; at the love and sincerity reflected in her eyes. He thought back to all those times that he had chosen to not open his heart to her and realized that he could no longer suppress what he felt for her. He had always needed her to show him the right path. And she had done the same yet again. He made a promise to himself that he wouldn't let the shadows of his past affect his future with her. He owed it to her; to the love that they shared.

"So," she continued, as she read the multitude of expressions on his face, "are we done? Because I seriously have nothing more to say. If you try to give any more excuses, then I'll just have to kiss you again to shut you up."

He laughed at that. "I'm afraid I'll need more than just a kiss this time," he said, enjoying the way her eyes widened.

He pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers, pouring into that kiss, all the love that he felt for her. And as she pressed her body against his and kissed him back under the starlit sky, she basked in the realization that finally, he was hers and she, his.

THE END

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